I still have a thirty-year-old picture of my dad taken in our family’s garage. You can barely see my 6’4” father sitting among heaps of junk.
At the time, we wouldn’t have known what to call it, but my brilliant, gentle dad was a hoarder. Between electronics in his garage, and old magazines, tools, and manuals in his home office, there was only one path to get from the door to his chair in any room he had dominion over. My mom tried to keep it contained, but like Sisyphus trying to roll the boulder uphill, she lost her battle daily.
Every time I entered that garage as a teenager to do laundry or dig my way to the mailbox, I remember thinking to myself, “I will never, ever live like this when I get my own home.”
But then came marriage and kids. Like many young moms in the 90s, I fancied myself a crafter. (I was great at buying all the supplies. Using them? That was another story.) I also envisioned myself a salesperson. (How many multilevel marketing kits did I buy to become my own boss?) Plus, to be a great parent, I bought my kids Brio sets, a doll house, and every Barney VHS tape. My life eventually resembled my dad’s garage. No sense, no order — just an abundance of chaos and confusion.
I couldn’t figure out why I kept buying things I didn’t need or had such a hard time getting rid of things I no longer used. I would gird myself to do a clean sweep, but when it came down to it, I found it impossible to make a dent in my possessions. I would sit in my garage for hours trying to make myself give things away, only to talk myself into keeping the most inane items (a back-up egg beater?) in case I might, someday, need one.
I finally started to research why it was so hard for me to get rid of clutter. As I investigated, I realized it wasn’t laziness (as I had secretly suspected), but my battle was, in many ways, a spiritual one.
Based on my research, I have determined three main reasons for overwhelm with clutter:
The first reason is we keep items out of fear — fear of having to spend money again, fear of being thought of as wasteful. We think, “I might need it someday,” even if we’re not using it now and we haven’t used it for years. Someday, I might need that catcher’s mitt from seventh grade softball, and I would hate to have to rebuy it.
Another reason is guilt. Guilt shows up by saying, “But so-and-so gave it to you.” We may have a complicated relationship with the person who gave us the object or regrets about something with the giver. We feel like giving away the object is giving up on the relationship or dishonoring it in some way. But things are not relationships. If guilt convinces us to keep an item we don’t need or love, we’re replacing real relationships with objects.
The last thing I connected with clutter overwhelm is shame. We think, “But I spent so much money on it,” then punish ourselves for bad money decisions by holding onto something for a long time, somehow justifying the cost because of how long we’ve had it. It’s as if we can’t allow ourselves the grace to say, “I’ve made a mistake. I should not have spent the money on this item. It may be too late to take it back to the store, but I can make sure someone else can use it.” We can redeem the mistake by giving the item to someone who can’t afford it but will really use it. There is no redemption in the back of our closet.
Spending time getting rid of our possessions is a spiritual act — one that can bring hope and healing. Every time we declutter, we rid ourselves of unhealthy attachments, unhealthy ways of thinking, and unhealthy entanglements that keep us from moving forward toward the life God has intended for us.
Hebrews 12:1 says, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”
And this is exactly what I started to do — throw off all that was hindering me.
In my growth.
In my relationships.
In my walk with God.
When I finally got serious about getting rid of the excess in my life, I admit it was painful. Why was it so much easier to put my trust in stuff than in God’s providence? He has provided for my needs in the past, and He’ll be faithful to do it in the future as well.
Now that I’ve committed to change my relationship with stuff, passing by the dollar bins at Target is easier and easier. I believe God smiles a little bit wider when I walk on by.
Do you also struggle with clutter overwhelm? I believe in you. I believe you can throw off that hindrance too. And when you do, know that God delights in you.
Thanks for sharing! I have begun my journey to decluttering and today’s devotion helped validate its timing and season. Thank you for sharing! God bless!
I’m so so glad!
I have be decluttering for years so obviously I haven’t been completely successful. Your words are truly timely. I just painted my tiny, tiny condo and am determined to get to the bottom of it. My very wise daughter is a bit of a minimalist and ages ago shared with me that it is so much healthier not to get attached to “things”. And easier when moving. I thank you for you supportive words today. I can do this!
You sure can do this, Madeline! Go for it!
Be gentle with yourself. This is a long and ongoing process.
My late Father in-law was hooder. He just love going to Church car boots sale. He used to I bought it. It might come in useful. You go to Garage. There be lost of things. That he thought were lovely. But in everything he bought at a car boot sale. Even if was Church one. Was nothing but junk in my eyes. He brought more tea sets and oraments. That he used to say. You never know it could come in useful. I look in the Garage when I was going with my Husband before we got or even though of getting married. If we are meant to get married. No way will you take your Dad’s treats. Because a holder. If we get married. As I believe they only gather be dust and take up space in were ever you put them. 90 this out 100 you will never use them. Plus always say but you never know. It could come in useful. Then when you die or we are both gone. Someone after us. Then as the job of cleaning up. When they come to the what I call junk and dust collectors. They might just dumb them. Or have the job they didn’t need of taking them to charity shop. So I said to my boyfriend then now my Husband of 28 years. If we ever get married. No way am I letting you be horder like your Dad. As to me it is only junk and dust collectors. I told him. Thank fully. He was the man I have married. No were like his late Dad. He said to me you not get me doing that. As I used to grit my teeth and say nothing. Because he was my Dad when alive. But think be to myself. More junk. He said my Husband. That his late Mother couldn’t say very much. As then a row go up. He could drive my Husband Dad. So he used to say he was only going for a look. When he said there is a car boot sale coming up. His looking was always buying more junk and dust collectors. I am so thankful on God for the beautiful Husband he gave me. That is not like his Dad. As I know we had manys a row. But God showed me. This in it all. You can have too many things in your life and spend money foolishly. Money that God has given us. Because everything we have is God’s. God gave it too us. On things you don’t need. That you are buying for the sake of it. Just incase. It might come in useful. When it never does. So God showed me. Only to spend your Money. First tith to me. Then spend your Money on what is neasary. Like after you have tith. On the bills and food or when you need anything like clothes or shoes. Or new equipment for something in the house. Be wise safe some of it after that. Not go spending it on things you don’t need. Just because you think that would be nice. Or it could come in useful. As God said doing it other than this buying things for the sake of it. Because they look nice or you think in your head they come in useful. Even some day. If not now. Is greed. God said to Dawn be thankful for what you have. You have enough to do you every day. You have roof over your head and all you need in it. Yes the odd treat God showed me is nice for yourself or your Husband. But don’t go crazy. Just remember there are people out in our world living on alot less than you. They are just thank full to have roof over there head be able to pay their bills. Some who have nothing at all. Living in our streets. Wondering were the next meal will come from. So you have more than that. So don’t be greedy. Be thankful for what you have. You know what this all spoke to me. What God said to me. I live like that. As I think do I really need. What would be God say. Only buy it if you need it. I do that. Kathi thank you so much for what you shared. I did enjoy it. That it just reminded me of my late Father in-law. Love you all incourage. You are all in my prayers. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little
God sent your devotional to me today…I was so in need of de-cluttering and getting rid of… and appreciated the insight as to why I haven’t. I’ve been beating myself up for being lazy. Along with “stuff” to de-clutter or get rid of, I need to do it with my schedule of involvements with organizations. Thank you…God used you in my life today.
Schedule is just as hard as stuff. You’ve got this Sherley!
The struggle is real.
It truly is. I think God that I can come to Him with that struggle!
Oh my….I wonder if your devotion today was a spiritual “kick-in-the-pants” from our Father today to get rid of the junk piled up in my room…I’m struggling. My mom had a hard time getting rid of stuff too. I was wondering if y’all could pray for me, please in regards to my decluttering my room and starting a new job next week. Thank you, Jessica
Praying for you, Jessica, because I can identify!
Jessica,
Abba Father please help Jessica declutter her room. Show her where to take the items so others can use them. Give her peace & calm as she starts a new job next week. We know that new beginnings can be scary. Guide her steps & watch over her. Give her a big hug from me. AMEN!
Blessings
Reply
Kathi, your words are so inspiring! I’ve been working on this issue for awhile now and I am able to pass up a lot of stuff now, when I shop. And shopping has become more of an observational activity than an actual pursuit of more stuff. Most weeks I’m able to rid my home of a box or two of junk I don’t need or use. I’m a work in progress. But you are nudging me to get over the hump. Thank you!
This devotional spoke to me – especially with the phrase about a “complicated relationship with the person” and that it feels like “giving away the object is giving up on the relationship.” Just earlier this week, we gave away some nice clothes that our adult son had left in a closet. We haven’t seen him in 4 years. It’s highly unlikely that the clothes would still fit or that he would choose to wear them. It was still hard to do so because of “what ifs” and “if onlys” Still have other areas of the house that I need to make progress on de-cluttering. Thanks for this timely devotional.
My family is in the process of moving out of our home of 13 years. This has been an incredible struggle to part with things we no longer use or need. God brought to mind Matthew 6:19. Do not store up treasures on earth.. and while I realize this wasn’t written to condemn what I keep in my garage, I am praying that I can use it to encourage my children not to hold to tightly to their possessions. Thank you for this article as a reminder to press on.
Thank you for sharing this insight that clutter can have a spiritual component. At the very least, holding on to too much stuff is definitely a hindrance, not just physically, but in my mental and emotional state. Time to ask the Lord for his wisdom and peace to let more stuff go.
” “I’ve made a mistake. I should not have spent the money on this item. It may be too late to take it back to the store, but I can make sure someone else can use it.” We can redeem the mistake by giving the item to someone who can’t afford it but will really use it. There is no redemption in the back of our closet.” AMEN!!!
And now I feel compelled to go look in the back of my closet and talk to Jesus while donating things that are no longer a help but a hinderance. Thanks, friend.
Giving away stuff is a great idea! I just became a volunteer at a thrift store that gives its profits to help support our local Pregnancy Resource Center, so that option resonates with me.
Thank you for your insight on this situation. I truly believe with all my heart and soul how important it is to acknowledge and as it is reveal to us by God to start within and work outwardly. I have been purging for many years and it is such an awesome feeling to let go of the weight it carries. Freedom comes and God’s love and peace come flooding in. It’s not easy. One day at a time and don’t ever give up. I am thankful for the support, prayers and felt uplifted and strengthened to go forward and get rid of the stuff weighing me down (spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally). It’s amazing how light I felt after letting go. I just do one day at a time and then rest when it comes overwhelming. I thank God for loving me for where I am at right now and for who I am. God Bless you all. 🙂
When I moved from a house to a condo, it took two moving trucks. I did not know that I had so much stuff and clothes…the empty spaces after my husband died, got filled up. I passed my time walking in the Mall and, of course, looking and…buying.
With the pandemic and staying home, I found I saved money and could afford some bigger items and repairs to my condo. I’m still on the path to down sizing, after giving 9 boxes and some furniture to a charitable organization. It seems to be a forever thing, but I understand that we cannot hold onto things. God and His plans come first.
Jessica,
Abba Father please help Jessica declutter her room. Show her where to take the items so others can use them. Give her peace & calm as she starts a new job next week. We know that new beginnings can be scary. Guide her steps & watch over her. Give her a big hug from me. AMEN!
Blessings 🙂
Kathi,
Fortunately I’ve never been a hoarder. Don’t like having a lot of stuff cluttering up my space. I do understand how & why some people do it. Maybe growing up they didn’t have much so they want to keep it just in case. My thing has always been clothes. People constantly give me hand me downs. Periodically I go through my closets, dressers, etc. & get rid of some items. I donate them to thrift stores or churches. Any place that will allow others to have them that may not be able to afford them. I feel a sense of gratitude to God for allowing me to help others.
When decluttering you can think of it as a spiritual act of worship. Helping others to obtain things they couldn’t afford otherwise.
Blessings 🙂
Thank you for sharing your gifts of encouragement and discernment with us about decluttering, Kathi.
I want to do more of it and also declutter my life of the guilt from finding my own “life purpose-sweet spot” which means disappointing and even angering others.
I chortled at and adore this quote: “There is no redemption in the back of our closet.” Amen!