How do normal people do this parenting thing? I asked myself as I held my newborn son Caleb in the hospital while three-year-old Josh leaned into me.
I was now mom of two boys and felt the weight of it. I grew up in a broken home and wanted to leave a legacy of faith for my children. But how did one do that? For a while, I thought it meant erasing my past. I didn’t understand that Jesus wanted me to live out my faith by sharing the whole truth of my journey, not just the mountaintop victories.
My boys had never heard the real stories of how I grew up until this year, when I finished writing the manuscript to my new book, Sweet Like Jasmine. I never wanted them to know the stories that once made me feel broken or weird. I wanted them to have a clean slate and thought it best to leave the past in the past. I thought maybe after they’d grow up and become parents that I might tell them my stories.
But God put it on my heart to write my new book about finding my true worth, and I couldn’t have my stories out in the world without my own children hearing them from me.
I wasn’t sure if my sons, now fifteen and twelve, were ready to hear the stories of my life when I was a little girl and a young woman instead of just as their mom. But my therapist said, “Your sons have grown up in a loving home, and you’ve nurtured them with love. When you share the brokenness and the beauty of how you see God in those stories, they will trust you even more. You will deepen your relationship with your boys. They will be empowered in their faith. You will break the cycle of shame and leave them a new legacy of faith with your stories!”
So after I wrote each chapter, I sat on the living room floor and read it to them at night. I’d cry a river of tears because the little girl in me was sharing her stories with her sons. My voice shook, but with the words written on paper, I felt brave and safe enough to read the story of how I was born to a mail-order bride and a busboy who left me when I was seven.
After I finished reading to them, I was so afraid my sons would be silent or feel weird or awkward knowing their mom’s strange stories. Would they be embarrassed? What would they think of me?
As I dreaded the worst, Josh said, “Wow, Mom! I can’t believe that happened to you. That’s amazing! God is so amazing!”
Caleb cheered, “Mom! You’re such a great writer! Your story is like a movie! I can picture it like I’m there with you!”
“I’m so proud of you for being honest and brave!” Josh said, getting up from the sofa to wrap me a big bear hug.
Caleb came over to hug me too. “Yeah, Mom! God’s going to use you to bless a lot of people!”
As we sat together, right there on the living room floor, I cried tears of joy, becoming more whole and healed. And that moment became holy ground.
God deepened my faith through that experience, and I sensed Him asking me, “Do you really trust Me? How can you show your children I’ll love them in life’s valleys if you only talk about your strengths and leave out how I walked you through the valleys?”
It takes faith to share our stories, doesn’t it? We don’t want our kids to be ashamed of the mistakes we made. We’re afraid to lose our credibility if they see our flaws. But it’s actually the opposite. God says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).
The fire you walked through, the story you lived through, and the grace that carried you may be the very encouragement someone needs. And sharing your story may be the most powerful act of faith God is calling you to take.
We can take our place among the cloud of witnesses in Hebrews 11 and share our stories of faith with our children and those outside of our families! Maybe your story is like Abraham who lived in tents, never feeling quite at home. Or are you like Enoch, simply walking by faith through your hardships? Maybe you’re like Noah who survived the floods of life and loss, obeying God’s call to build something counter-cultural and new.
Even though we work to shield our children from our own pain, what they really need to see is how God loved us in our pain. That way, they can learn to take their pains, their weaknesses, and their brokenness to Jesus.
The day I shared my story with my sons, I grew in faith and gained my children’s trust in a new way. It turns out the legacy of faith we pass down is our stories. We don’t have to live perfect lives to have a beautiful or meaningful legacy. We just need to share what God has done in our lives with those around us because our stories matter. And in turn, the truth and beauty of God’s faithfulness is seen throughout the generations.
What an amazing God we really have!
Get a FREE Audiobook, a Journal + book club & Join my FREE Stories of Faith Workshop for my new East-Meets-West book about finding your true worth in Sweet Like Jasmine: Finding Identity in a Culture of Loneliness by signing up here! I’m so excited to encourage you with God’s love in this book! Sign up here!
Leave a Comment
Susan says
Simply beautiful, Bonnie! Thank you for sharing!
Bonnie Gray says
Thank you so much, Susan! I’d love to continue to encourage you in the Sweet Like Jasmine book club! You get a free Audiobook, a Stories of Faith journal and you can start reading the early digital copy, supported in a loving community, together with me! I’ll do weekly live videos to encourage you and empower you in finding your true worth in God’s love and how God makes beauty out of brokenness! Please join, friend! Sign up for the bonus gifts & book club at http://SweetLikeJasmine.com — we’re starting August 18! I can’t wait to learn more of your story!
Nida says
Thank you for being so vulnerable and giving us a glimpse into such an intimate moment. You are like a rose, budding before our very eyes; such incredible beauty! God bless you and your family. Hugs.
Bonnie Gray says
Thank you so much, Susan! Let’s blossom together in. God’s love! You’re His fragrant rose too! I’d love to continue to encourage you in the Sweet Like Jasmine book club! You get a free Audiobook, a Stories of Faith journal and you can start reading the early digital copy, supported in a loving community, together with me! I’ll do weekly live videos to encourage you and empower you in finding your true worth in God’s love and how God makes beauty out of brokenness! Please join, friend! Sign up for the bonus gifts & book club at http://SweetLikeJasmine.com — we’re starting August 18! I can’t wait to learn more of your story!
Ruth Mills says
In high school I was hesitant to share my testimony because it wasn’t dramatic. I had not been rescued from drugs, sex, rock & roll or had a Damascus Road conversion. But God rescued me from the wages of sin so I stopped looking at MY story & focused on HIS story. He became/becomes greater & greater even in my less than dramatic story. Thank you for sharing & magnifying our great Savior!
Bonnie Gray says
Amen! Thank you for sharing your testimony of seeing His story in yours, Ruth! It’s such a powerful experience when we see God’s goodness in our lives! His love is like a quiet rose budding or a tree growing planted by daily life and doesn’t always look dramatic, as you wonderful shared.
I’d love to encourage you in the Sweet Like Jasmine book club! You get a free Audiobook, a Stories of Faith journal and you can start reading the early digital copy, supported in a loving community, together with me! I’ll do weekly live videos to encourage you and empower you in finding your true worth in God’s love and see how God makes beauty out of brokenness! Please join, friend! Sign up for the bonus gifts & book club at http://SweetLikeJasmine.com — we’re starting August 18! I can’t wait to learn more of your story!
Liz says
Appreciated
Bonnie Gray says
Thank you so much, Liz! Have a beautiful day! I hope you can join the Sweet Like Jasmine book club with me! I’d love to continue encouraging you on the journey of seeing God’s goodness in our stories of faith with support in a loving community! We’re starting August 18! Learn more and join at http://sweetlikejasmine.com
Betsy Wisler says
You were brave and God blessed you. While my story is not as tragic as yours, it has many downs as well as ups. My Grandson who is majoring in Video at a Christian college encouraged me to write my story as we had talked some about it. I did and dedicated it to him (he was 21 a the time). I made copies and shared with my 3 children and let them decide to share with rest of our grandchildren and greatgrandchildren as they saw fit. I also got to share it in our church. It was freeing and theraputic for me and I pray it may have helped someone. I think our children need to know what we’ve been through and how God got us through it in His perfect timing. Also to see life isn’t easy or perfect but with God on our side we are safe in His care and can get through anything,
Bonnie Gray says
Wow! Betsy!! That is SO amazing that you were brave to open your heart and your story to your Grandson — which led to sharing copies with you children, your grandchildren and the church community! Praise God! Thank you for adding your story here to inspire all of us! I love “I think our childrnen need to know what we’ve been through and how God us through his perfect timing.”
I think it would bless our Sweet Like Jasmine Community and book club to have you join us, as we explore or faith stories to see God’s goodness and encourage each other! I’d love to hear more of your story, friend!
You get a free Audiobook, a Stories of Faith journal and you can start reading the early digital copy, supported in a loving community, together with me! I’ll do weekly live videos to encourage you, as reflect on the many ways God leads us through valleys and mountaintops. I’d love to empower you as we explore finding true worth in God’s love and how God makes beauty out of brokenness! Please join, friend! Sign up for the bonus gifts & book club at http://SweetLikeJasmine.com — we’re starting August 18!
Sharon says
I think it is good to share our stories with our children; I started writing mine but haven’t finished it but need to since I am getting pretty old!! Loved your story.
Bonnie Gray says
Thank you so much, Sharon! I LOVE you started writing your story! You’ll love the Free Stories of Faith Workshop I’m leading August 18 to guide women to journal their stories of faith with support in a loving community!! I’d love to help encourage you! It’s never too late to write our stories! Please join, friend! Sign up for the bonus gifts & book club at http://SweetLikeJasmine.com
You get a free Audiobook, a Stories of Faith journal and you can start reading the early digital copy, supported in a loving community, together with me! I’ll do weekly live videos to encourage you as we see God’s goodness in our stories! I’d love to empower you in God’s love, seeing how God makes beauty out of brokenness! I can’t wait to learn more of your story!
Dori says
Reading this opened my eyes and showed the importance of sharing and the value it has.
Thank you for being vulnerable and honest.
Bonnie Gray says
Thank you so much, Dori! Sounds like God is planting a seed in your heart to share your story — I’d love to keep encouraging you, friend! You’ll love the Free Stories of Faith Workshop I’m leading August 18 to guide women to journal their stories of faith with support in a loving community!! I’d love to help encourage you! It’s powerful to share our stories. Please join, friend! Sign up for the bonus gifts & book club at http://SweetLikeJasmine.com
You get a free Audiobook, a Stories of Faith journal and you can start reading the early digital copy, supported in a loving community, together with me! I’ll do weekly live videos to encourage you as we see God’s goodness in our stories! I’d love to empower you in God’s love, seeing how God makes beauty out of brokenness! I can’t wait to learn more of your story!
Dawn Ferguson-Little says
Bonnie simply beautiful. How you told your story to your kids. You have it in book. For them to read and keep one day when you are not hear. To remember you and your life. Plus faith in God. My late Mum was not saved. She had always wanted to write a book about her Family before she Married my Dad. Then include in the book about my Dad and her plus about having us. But she never got round to doing it. So we just have the things to keep of what she told us. I today would have liked her to have wrote the book. To look read today now she not hear. Of her Family her Mum and Dad her brother’s and sisters. Then go on to say about her childhood. Then her school. Then her first job. Then meeting my Dad. Getting Married and having us 3 her three girls. As it would have been so lovely to read today. I did pray for my late Mum salvation. But you couldn’t tell her she needed to get saved. She would have said. Dawn please keep that or do preach to me. So I just lived my life in front of my Mum for Jesus. Plus prayed got her salvation. My Mum was good writer. Good at poems. She wrote this short one to do with me. It goes. “A Butterfly Is God Why Of Showing How Beautiful The World Can Be.” As my late Mum love Butterflies. I treasure that. She did my late Mum. Talk to God in her own way. Now and again prayed to God. But never told me she had said the saviour prayer to ask Jesus into her life. I have no kids. Bur the kids I looked after as Registered Childminder. For 19 years. I like to put memories into their heads to let them know and remember the good times. In my home while their parents were at all work. Plus I tell them about Jesus in a nice way so as the parents wouldn’t think I was preaching to their kids. Through nice story book about how God love you. You are special to him. Sing songs. Like Jesus loves me this I know. Get them to join in. Watching Psalthy the big blue book. Psalthy would say come on little Praisers. I made nice memories for them. The kids really enjoyed it. It was fun too. Just like you Bonnie telling you story to your kids and making memories for them. So today with my Dad who is also not saved. You can’t tell him. Or he say please keep that to yourself. Or something along those lines. So I just live my life in front of him. Tell my Dad I love him when going home from visiting him. Try to do as much as I can for him. Make memories by being with him. Spending time with him. Doing bits and pieces for him. To show him my love for Jesus. He knows I am saved. Knows I pray for him as I have told him. Then I look back as he 80. When the day comes he not here. The time I had with my Dad. Look back at those days as nice memories. Knowing what I did for my Dad to help him was done in love and on to Jesus. That will be a lovely memory for me. Like you are doing Bonnie making good memories for you kids. They are able to tell you they appreciate that. That let you know you love them and have left something for them to keep and read one day when your not here. All about you. They can then say when they read it. A what a wonderful person our Mum was. How she loved Jesus. Love Dawn xx In my prayers all you incourage.
Bonnie Gray says
Hi Dawn, what an encourager you are! Praise God for how you encourage and share your stories with the children around you! It’s very empowering to write your stories and see God’s goodness in it! You have your own story and may God illuminate his beauty and goodness in your heart within your story! I hope you’ll join the Sweet Like Jasmine book club! I’d love to encourage you on your faith journey. Sign up at http://sweetlikejasmine.com – we start reading together on August 18!
Sylvia Hoskins says
Would love to buy your book, Sweet as Jasmine. Thank you
Bonnie Gray says
Yay!! That’s wonderful, Sylvia! Looking forward to encouraging you in our loving Sweet Like Jasmine private Book Club community! Be sure to sign up at http://sweetlikejasmine.com — to get an invite to the FB Group and also get your Free Audiobook, journal and the Stories of Faith Workshop beginning 8/18! 🙂
Beth Williams says
Bonnie,
God calls us to be witness & make disciples. One simple way is to tell others about God’s faithfulness through trials. How He was there for us & saw us through it all. Plus telling others lets them know they aren’t alone in their struggles. We shouldn’t be afraid to share our stories, but willing to tell others so that they too can be saved & have a relationship with Almighty God.
Blessings 🙂
Joan M Munro says
Yes..sharing our stories opens up a new legacy of faith, hope, healing, redemption and transformation ❣