I remember the first time I pretended I was someone I wasn’t. I was in elementary school and we were at a Christmas party for my mom’s co-workers. A boy who was a few years older than me was there, and we met at the drink table where I grabbed some seltzer water, mistaking it for soda.
“That’s seltzer water,” he said.
“I know that,” I replied with totally feigned confidence, taking a sip and trying not to immediately spit it back out.
To this day, I cannot get behind seltzer, but goodness, I tried to pretend. Of course, this sort of moment happens for us regularly, and if we’re honest, we try to act like it isn’t happening. Perhaps we’re one way with family and another with our friends or coworkers. Maybe we say that we believe something but when the time comes to follow through, we talk ourselves out of it.
The book of Proverbs is all about wisdom, and there are many times that the word “integrity” comes up. Integrity –that is, living honestly in all circumstances, isn’t just about appearances. In fact, in Hebrew, it can be translated as “completeness.” This reminds us of the word shalom, which means “peace, wholeness, or completeness.” There is a peace we find when we are whole. There is a gift to being whole in our lives.
Proverbs 10:9 says, “Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out.”
You don’t have to be a business owner or lawyer to operate in integrity. Rather, we all have opportunities to be consistent behind closed doors and out in public. Do you find yourself speaking highly of someone in one context and then spinning it differently in another? Or maybe you pretend something is a bigger deal to make yourself look good? Or what about when you post things on social media you likely wouldn’t say to someone’s face?
We are given the chance to walk in integrity constantly. And if I’m honest? We can get really good at faking it. But it’s not just for the sake of looking good that we do it. We often throw integrity out the window forgetting that we’re being made into the image of Christ when we grow in our faith. And Christ is the ultimate example of integrity. He was never saying one thing and then doing another. He was never out to put His best foot forward. He had compassion, and He was still compassionate when no one was looking.
We live in an age of social media that gives us the chance to put up a front. And sometimes, I am tempted to give only the highlights. But when we do that, we aren’t just hurting ourselves, we’re hurting others by pretending that the right thing to be is insincere. They see our filtered images, and they feel less satisfied and smaller.
So the question I have to ask over and over again is this: Am I a whole person? Or am I abandoning myself in favor of an edited version?
If Jesus showed up in every circumstance with integrity, perhaps that ought to be my aim too.
Leave a Comment
Madeline says
Well, I guess I never thought of it this way. In an effort to try to be liked and such, I am not always authentic. I am an edited version of the real me. This is a lot to think about.
Melissa Zaldivar says
Praying you can have grace for yourself that moves you toward growth. Thanks for sharing, Madeline!
Ruth Mills says
Integrity translated as completeness and completeness being part of the definition of Shalom gives so much more depth to my understanding. Thank you for sharing!
Melissa Zaldivar says
The bible is so rich. Thankful it was encouraging!
Irene says
Melissa, this is definitely food for thought. And prayer. Thank you.
Jodi Kinasewitz says
So good. A great reminder. When I think of the word integrity, my Dad immediately comes to mind. He was the same man at home as he was in public. He never wavered from his morals, values, or beliefs. He was the truest man I’ve ever known.
Melissa Zaldivar says
Wow, what a great example. Thankful that was your experience!
Carol says
Very true about the world we live in today! Thank you
Janet Williams says
What a wonderful message! I was talking with my daughter this morning and she was sharing how much my grand kids are learning this exact lesson..
“Am I a whole person? Or am I abandoning myself in favor of an edited version?” …. or in their understanding
“am I being who Jesus made me or am I pretending to do something, like something or follow someone just to be popular”
We don’t need to be kids to struggle with our wholeness or our “chance to walk in integrity”
Thank you Melissa
Melissa Zaldivar says
Thank you for thoughtfully stewarding the task of bringing up the next generations!
Mitch Clarke says
Excellent advice!
Becky Keife says
Why are you stepping on my toes? 😉 This is so good, friend! “Am I a whole person? Or am I abandoning myself in favor of an edited version?” This echoes something I’ve been sitting with for a while. Thanks for putting voice to it. xoxo
Maria Oliveira says
Wow!! I was so blessed by this reading
Melissa Zaldivar says
Glad to hear it. Thanks for joining us, Maria!
Beth Williams says
Melissa,
So spot on & much needed in our age of social media. Everyone posts stuff in order to get likes. What are we like when the doors are closed & no one sees us. Are we an authentic version of ourselves or just pretending to have favor with people down here? This reminds me of “The Walk” by Stephen C. Chapman-the chorus: Cause you can run with the big dogs
You can fly with the eagles You can jump through all the hoops
And climb the ladder to the top But when it all comes down You know it all comes down, down, down, down, down To the walk. Basically are we walking the walking or just talking the talk?
Blessings 🙂
Melissa Zaldivar says
Good questions! So important to ask them.
Carolyn F. says
Excellent writing and exhortation! Thank you for sharing
Angie Cranford says
Thank you!