I know the feeling of walking into a room and your presence going unnoticed. After months of COVID-19, I know what it’s like to be completely forgotten. I know what it’s like to have friends walk away, siblings drift apart, and job promotions pass you by. I’ve been trapped in the torturous cycle of beauty comparison and house envy. So often, I feel like I am on the outside. No matter what I do or how much I try, I cannot seem to find my place. I cannot drop the weight, finish the task, or make people happy. I know the feeling of pressing my face on a glass wall, always looking in but never good enough to enter.
For all of us outsiders, the call is to lean in close and to know how God sees us. We have to remember the desperate lengths God went to in order to make the broken incredibly beautiful. When we lose sight of how God really sees us, we actually cannot see at all. We need our eyes refocused and adjusted to see the truth. It is so easy to become self-focused and turn inwards. Yet God wants to take our backs bent crippling over and stretch us up outward and open to Him. So for today, if you are feeling self-critical or discouraged, ugly, or unwanted, let us remember how God pursued those who felt just like us.
Arched over the entire Bible, God writes a love story for the one on the outside. Hagar was a servant, cast out and alone. God found her, pursued her, and rescued her. Leah, her name meaning “weary,” was the ugly sister and married to a man who did not love her back. Yet God saw her deepest heart’s desire and blessed her with an abundance of children.
The Lord saw Hannah, sobbing and heartsick for a baby. He heard her and answered. Esther, an orphan, became a queen and saved a nation. Mary, the mother of Jesus, was not even given a proper place to birth a baby, but God provided constant provision for her. The woman at the well, covered in shame, sought refreshment and reprieve. When she came face to face with Jesus, He told her everything she had ever done, and she became free. Martha was anxious and concerned with work, and Jesus invited her to rest.
Over and over again, God moves towards the forgotten, lonely, and unwanted. Over and over again, He sees the hearts of the beaten up, battered, and afraid. He goes out of His way to meet them in their fear and desperation. God is for the outsider, and we can find ourselves in each story of God’s rescue.
How many of us are abandoned, broken, and put out? How many of us huddle at our own shame wells and hope no one sees our sins? How often do we beg God to turn what is infertile to new life?
God is after us, friends. In our places of greatest despair, He chases us down. In our quiet longings and greatest defeats, He moves toward us. If you are feeling discouraged today, look upwards and backwards. Look at all the women in the Bible who have walked the path before you. Lean in close to Christ leaning in toward you. Perhaps your point of pain is the intersection He is waiting at to bring you into His deep, unending love for you.
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Kim Gibbens says
Anjuli,
Thank you for these beautiful words of God’s relentless pursuit of us even when we don’t realize it. Our pain can be the very catalyst that pulls our hearts to pursue Him. I am so grateful His love is steadfast and unrelenting.
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Kim,
I couldn’t have said it better…Amen!
Blessings,
Bev xx
Lydia says
Thank you for sharing your heart with us today! I am always encouraged when I read what God has placed upon your heart to reach into your sisters hearts. We are selfish, but Christ is victorious even over that! Praise God! May He help us let it all go at the foot of the cross, no more holding on to the edge of what we thought should or could happen. He knows all of it. He is in all of it. Keep on trusting our Gracious and Merciful Lord!
Dawn Ferguson-Little says
I used to feel forgotten unwanted alone. Especially when I have every little friends. In fact one that I hardly ever see. When we do catch up it is nice she is just lovely. The other two live 86 miles away from me. I hardly ever get to see them they are lovely too. I don’t drive. I did but health reasons stop me. I don’t miss it. My Dad does drive. Only I visit him he not visit me except for my Birthday and Christmas. One time that annoyed me. I felt he had forgotten me. It did hurt for a long time. Then I said sure I can go visit him what the big deal. Many a person in this world has no Dad does not know their Dad or their Dad passed away at least I still have mine. God showed me I am not ever forgotten. Unwanted alone. I am special. I am loved. I have the best friend of all that is God himself. Sure like this song. It is one of my favourite it is “What a friend we have in Jesus all our sins and greifs to bear” How true that song is. You get it on YouTube. It worth listening to. Love today reading well wrote. Thank you for it. Like all incourage reading they are excellent. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little xxx
Beth Williams says
Anjuli,
This world says have a big platform, do & be more. That isn’t always easy. Sometimes life hits us hard with trials & tribulations. You get a diagnosis you didn’t expect, parents get ill, you lose a job & have to move away from friends & family, etc. You feel like no one sees you. No one cares about your “little” struggles. That isn’t true. God went to the great lengths to show His love for you. He sent His only son who died on a cross-if for no one else but you alone. I believe God allows those trials in our lives to slow us down & woo us back to His enduring love. If you fell unloved, unwanted, or unnoticed-remember God sees you, knows you intimately & loves you immensely.
Blessings 🙂
Linda R Johnson says
The timing of reading your words was perfect, Anjuli, as I was just on the phone telling a friend who is on the opposite end of the country from me: “I feel disconnected from folks in my usual circles.” Through the pandemic, the rise and fallout of many come from the differences in ‘opinion’ over appropriate public behavior in my State. This has led to those of us who are standing on the premise of “love thy neighbor by protecting them” through compliance with legal ordinances to be on the “outside.”
It is indeed lonely. But as you reminded me, El Roi, the God Who “sees” me, also provides for me — comfort and reassurance — that my security and inclusion comes from Him.
Thank you for this!
Jasmine says
I did a study on Rachel and Leah. Nowhere in any translation of the Bible does it say that Leah was ugly. It only says she had weak eyes, which probably meant she was born with a lazy eye, or was nearsighted and needed glasses. (2 things that are easily correctable nowadays, but back then was unheard of.) But for some reason, people have it in their heads that she was ugly when in fact, she probably just had a problem with her vision.
erin says
Thank you for sharing this friend ❤️❤️❤️
erin
Becky Keife says
God calls us by name and pursues us like the beloved and cherished daughters we are. Thank you for this reminder, friend.