I like to be the one who shows up — the one who serves and gives and meets a need. Although I have become much better at receiving, it doesn’t come naturally. I don’t like to come across as needy or dependent. But the Lord has been showing me that that is exactly how He wants us to be. He wants us to be in need of Him — the giver of every good and perfect gift. He supplies every need we could ever have, and many times He does so through the Church — the body of Christ.
It’s okay to need people and depend on them because that’s how it’s supposed to be.
I have had friends over the years who heard from the Lord and blessed me with finances, groceries, rides, help with moving, and even places to live. Every single time, I felt loved and seen and cared for by God and my community.
However, over the last couple of months, I’ve needed community in a different way. My heart needed them. I longed for connection, but my flesh put up a huge fight to try to push people away. I became withdrawn though I couldn’t hide my emotions from them. My community could tell my joy had faded. They could see I was sad, and they became concerned.
One day, I sat in a friend’s kitchen and sobbed while trying to explain my heartache. Another friend texted me almost every day for a week despite my not responding. Another did the same, and we eventually met for lunch. Yet another met me for coffee. My pastor’s wife reached out, and we were able to connect. Several others friends even gathered and prayed for me at my church’s weekly prayer meeting when I wasn’t there.
In those encounters, I wept as I shared my hurt and I was met with nothing but love, grace, and compassion. There were hard truths spoken, challenges issued, and encouragement poured out like oil. It was all so beautiful!
Needless to say, I was blown away by the response of my church and awed by the love of God I felt through them. They carried me like the friends who carried and lowered the paralytic man through the roof in Luke 5:17-26.
There are no details given about the man except that he was paralyzed. We know nothing about his family’s involvement in his life nor about his character or lack thereof. The only thing we know is that he needed healing, and his friends made a way to get him to Jesus.
When Jesus saw their faith, he said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven.”
Luke 5:20 (NIV)
It’s not always our faith that brings healing. When Jesus saw the friends’ faith, He healed the paralytic man — physically and spiritually. In my mind, I imagine this man must have been paralyzed for years, that he tried everything he could think of to get healed. He may have spent all the money he had on treatments that by the time Jesus came to his town, he was desperate and hopeless.
But his friends were not. He may have run out of faith, but they were full of faith. In fact, they had enough faith for him. They believed that Jesus was who He said He was and that He could do what He said He could do. As a result, their faith made the miracle of healing possible for their paralyzed friend.
I hadn’t experienced that kind of persistent love from a church community before. As they met me and encouraged me, I felt like Moses in Exodus 17 when Aaron and Hur held up his arms when he was too weary. I felt tired and defeated, and the enemy came for me with a vengeance, trying to keep me away from the very people I needed. But my community rose up like an army to defend me. They wielded the sword of the Spirit on my behalf and spoke God’s promises over me. They didn’t give up on me, and they wouldn’t let me give up.
Community is messy and hard, but it is also beautiful and life-giving. The fight for it will always be worth it.
We need each other, and we are truly better together.
Karina,
Oh, how the enemy wants to isolate us so that he can devour us. The church and believers, as a body, are to do just what your fellow believers did – come to your aid. When we can’t walk on our own, we need others to hold us up and carry us. I’m grateful for the support of friends who have held me up during some rough times during this pandemic. Cards, texts, emails, phone calls…they can make the difference as to whether a fallen believer gets through the day or the next ten minutes. We need to have our eyes open looking for who needs to be let down through the roof so that they can receive the healing touch of our Savior. Beautiful post and I’m thankful for those who persisted in reaching out to you. You are dearly loved!
Blessings,
Bev xx
Thank you so much Bev! It still ministers to my heart weeks later. The Lord is too good to us!
I went through some incredible trials over the past couple of years and I would have been lost without the church community that I found. It was absolutely no accident that my neighbor mentioned her church to me right as my life began to fall apart. They walked along beside me, held my hand, comforted me and supported me. Now that I have moved away, I miss them so much. While the pandemic certainly hasn’t helped, I have really, really struggled to find a good church community. I long for it so much!
Elizabeth, I am so glad that you experienced that love from the Body. I am believing the Lord will place you in a sweet and authentic new Body in your new city. He is faithful!
Thank you for sharing! Blessings!
Stories about the Body of Christ showing up and sharing his love always give me a fresh shot of hope!
Blessings to you, Karina! Trusting that you are still experiencing his carrying grace.
Right on Michele! Don’t we all need some hope right now?! His grace is overwhelming in the best ways!
This is actually something that I am passionate about. I have not had a coming together of a church community for me. Ever. I have experienced that if I am withdrawn for whatever reason, I am not checked on or pursued in any way. I grew up that way also, very isolated. So I guess that is why I am not surprised and don’t expect anything from anyone. I was raised in a mentally and emotionally isolating environment. I learned very very early on that my most basic physical needs would be met (food, shelter, clothes, dental and medical care), but that was it. It made me not expect anything from anyone… and in fact I always expected the worst from everyone… that I would be rejected, that I was never enough, that I was not worthy of being loved and cared for, that it was meant for other girls. Not me. I do not say that as a pity me thing, but as a statement of fact. I am now 42, almost 43, and I finally have my inner circle. The Lord has healed me of so much and I am so very thankful to be able to receive of and recognize His love for me. I am sure in reading this that you know the reasons why I am so passionate about women not being left behind in the church community. It is a fire in my belly, a fierceness that rises up in me! I am the one incessantly messaging a friend who suddenly dropped out of communication, checking in with my single mama friends, offering encouragement, a funny meme, anything at all that I know will speak to the heart of that woman and meet her where she is at. I am so so very thankful, Karina, that the Lord spurred on the heart of those around you to pursue your hurting heart, to be relentless in making contact with you. They were His hands and feet! So beautiful!! It is so very important that we remain vigilant in this, especially now!
Amen Michelle! I love your testimony of God’s love and faithfulness in your life. He is true to His word and will never leave us or forsake us. I am much like you. I normally do all of the reaching out, eventually coming no to expect reciprocation. This recent season was life to my soul and hope to my heart.
Thank you for reading and sharing!
Karina I have been like you too caring for my own good. My family I have no kids. It not that I don’t want any. Too scared to give birth. I do love them was a Registered Childminder for 19 years. My Sisters my Aunt on my late Mum’s side of the family and my late Mum would always says Dawn your too caring for your own good. I always had that caring streak in me. No one would or could take it out of me. That who I was even before I was saved. I didn’t care if people didn’t give me any care back. All I and still do this day is want to see people and kids happy. I look at people from the heart. Not skin color or reglin. I talk to them make chat with them if they are willing to chat back. As it reminds me of song I was taught at Sunday School. It is “Jesus Loves All The People Of The World Red And Yellow Black And White” how true that is. I want to do that even more now I am saved. Like Jesus. As we are the Church to the world. Us the saved. You get the song on YouTube. I have friend who used to live were I live now. But now lives 86 miles away. She is saved like me and very caring like me. She now and again email or text me to ask me how I doing. Or emails things out of her Church that I can watch. Or join in to pray with. Which is nice. If coming down to see another friend who lives were I live never forget about me. Ask would I like to join her and this other friend when she is coming down for the day. So that is how kind this friend is. I never forget her for her kindness for doing that. As I don’t have many friends and I just one other really good friend who lives in the same county as me. She has lots of friends. When we meet up which is not that often. It is nice. I don’t mind as I know she is busy she is saved. But now and then she texts me and emails me. It used to bother me that I had hardly any friends were I live. But now it doesn’t. As I am thankful to God for every I am alive. I can make someone happy and pray for them. Plus if my Church ask me too I will as well. Help anyway that I can that needs my help. That is why I love to pray for you all incourage because your reading do incourage me so much and bring me closer to God. Thank you for them. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little xx
Amen Dawn! Praise God for the beautiful community He has given you!
Thank you for sharing!
Dear Karina,
Thank you so very much for your honesty and the willingness to share your story with others. The love and grace you received from your church community is so blessed and precious. Thank you, too, for the wonderful reminder to all of us to remember to reach out in love to others who are hurting. Blessings and hugs, Susan
Amen Susan! This community has been the greatest gift to my life!
Thank you for sharing!
Thanks for sharing so vulnerably, Karina. So happy that you’ve found a church that embodies Jesus’ love! ♥
Thank you Kelly for reading! This church has been such a joy and blessing to me!
ENCOURAGEMENT = LIKE ANCHOR AGEMENT (GROUNDING AND ROOTING IN THE GRACEFULL LOVE OF THE LAM WHO WAS SLAIN FOR ALL.
ENCOURAGE HOPE ALL TOGETHER LOVELY ALL TOGETHER WONDERFULL TO ME.
Hope is the Thing with Feathers! Poem by Emily Dickinson.
Hope Give Wings! SPREAD YOUR WINGS AND FLY.
Gracefull Greetings,
Am.
Amen! Thank you for reading and sharing!
Blessings!
Karina,
I’ve been praying for you for a while now. Asking God to help you through the stressful seasons of life. So grateful for the community of believers who came & persisted on your behalf. I, too, love to be the giver of good things. It makes me feel like I’m making a difference. There have been some times in my life when all I could use was prayers for strength to carry on. My pastor took time out of his work schedule to call & speak with my aging dad. Next thing I know dad is getting re baptized. My pastor drove to the house talked with him & arranged to baptize him at a local church. (my parents didn’t attend church then). My little church also did a memorial service for both mom & dad. They also fed us after each one died. They are a very loving people.
There is a group of 5 co-workers that used to get together once a month after we left the office. Seems like I’m the glue that holds this group together. I text them to see how they are doing & pray for them. Wanting them to feel Christ’s love in the midst of any trial they may be facing. It takes work to keep in touch, but it is so worth it.
Only having been at work 1 year I have developed some good friendships. I was blessed to be able to help a co worker move on 2 occasions. The first time there was going to be three of us. Wanting to give her a house warming gift, yet know she needed nothing, I offered to cook food for us. She mentioned baked spaghetti & meatballs. I made a huge dish of that. She had plenty to eat off of for a while. Recently made her some more as she is dealing with dad’s cancer diagnosis.
I want to hear those immortal words “Well done thou good & faithful servant.” Want to spread much of God’s light & love in this sin darkened world. May be some of the seeds I plant will be watered & come to fruition.
Blessings 🙂
Thank you Beth for reading, sharing and all of the prayers!I love how God is using you! Keep on watering and sowing seed!
Karina, this is so beautiful! How I wish I had also been one to be an encouragement to you but I’m so thankful that you felt the arms of Christ wrapped around you in our church. For me, too, it’s been the first church I’ve experienced the fullness of Jesus and the church I’ve been in the longest (16 years). We love you and are thankful for you.
Awe! Thank you Angie! Everyone at FNT is such an encouragement in both small and big ways! I love you and am grateful for you as well!
I love the thoughts here, so vulnerable and piercing. I loved the way she described her friends’ love as persistent. It’s so difficult for me to know the line between being persistent and being pushy. Maybe there is no line when you’re concerned for someone?
As a pastor’s wife, I struggle so much with community. We’re a very small church. I’m sensitive to how the writer referred to her pastor’s wife not as another friend, but by her title. And perhaps she and the pw are not close, but it hurts a bit when I hear people I think of as friends refer to me as “my pastor’s wife.” It tells me “we’re not really friends. You’re someone from my church.”
The use of the title doesn’t cause me to feel as enormous of a wall between us as when some of these members have eventually ended their time at our church, and ended our friendship too. Despite my reaching out, there is little interest in continuing our friendship. I represent something they don’t want to be reminded about.
I know I sound like a Debbie downer but it’s a lonely place to be. I work full time from home and have just a few good friends, just one from church.
If I could tell people one thing about pastor’s wives, it’s that we need community too. We serve a lot at church and at home, and would love someone to pour love into our lives.
If you’ve read this far, thank you for listening. I feel heard.
Hey Priscilla, thank you for reading my post and sharing. I am so sorry that you’ve had such a hard time finding community, especially within your church.
I have been a part of a few local churches for over my 20 years of being a Christian. Mainly, they have been large churches or mega-churches. The church I attend now is the smallest I have ever been a part of. I have always had great relationships with my Pastors’ wives. My current Pastor’s wife holds a special place in my heart. We are actually pretty close and spend a good bit of time together. We hang out and eat together. We laugh and cry. I pray for her and she prays for me. She is my friend and sister. But, she is also, my mentor, leader and shepherd. I hold space for her to be both my friend and leader. I hold her in high esteem. For me, titles don’t serve as a wall, but as a description of one role among others that a person may play in my life. I hope that makes sense. I pray that you will find joy in this calling as friend and leader of your community.
I am praying that your community will develop a love and desire for intimate relationships with you and your husband. May they be full of grace, compassion, trust, joy and FUN!
Thank you, Karina, for your perspective and sincere love. Blessings my friend.
Karina, thank you for sharing this precious testimony. The friends that lowered their paralyzed friend down to Jesus has been on my heart for a couple of weeks and your post was confirmation that it was from the Lord.
I am astounded at how much The Holy Spirit connects the Body and “knits our hearts together” through adversity and spiritual attacks. They seem so bitter at the time! But then the Lord takes the bitter water and turns it into a sweet testimony of His unending faithfulness and heart for His children, like He did for Israel in the desert. He’s so constant and good!
I’m so grateful to worship Him in the same church as you! Love you!
Yea for confirmation! He is so good!!!
Thank you Sarah for reading and sharing! I love being a part of the Body with you! I love you sister!!!
Karina,
Thank you for sharing. I needed this reminder about the significance of church community. Lately, I’ve felt more exploited rather than supported by the church community. I will turn toward healing so that I am once again able to appreciate the community.
Shalom
LCB
My friend! That makes me SAD! I love you!!! I am praying for a supernatural turnaround in you life and in your community!!!
In this kind of oneness, we have power through Jesus to heal and be healed. Amen
Yes and Amen!!!!