By the time you read this, I will have already made a decision. But right now, I’m smack dab in the middle of uncertainty. Uncertainty is not my favorite place to be.
What’s plaguing me right now is the decision I must make about my children’s education for the impending school year. Here in California, all schools are mandated to start online this fall. I can choose to enroll my three kids in conventional public school, as we’ve always done, with the hope that distance learning will be a short-lived experience and eventually students will be back in the classroom. Our district is also offering an online-only independent study option where students can learn at their own pace with a one-year commitment. Or I could choose to homeschool my children in the traditional sense and be responsible for choosing their curriculum and guiding all their learning.
I’m like a weary traveler who has come to a three-pronged fork in the road with no map or compass to confirm which way I should go. From what I can see, each path has some bright spots as well as rocky terrain. All are partially shrouded in indecipherable shadows.
I feel stranded, abandoned, unprepared to take a step forward in any direction.
Indecision paralysis has its grip on me. My anxiety rises with each passing minute.
As my eyes dart from one path to the next, the questions in my mind swirl with increasing intensity. What if I can’t juggle work and meeting my children’s needs? What if I make the wrong decision? What if I change my mind? What if I’m stuck and can’t turn back? What if it’s a disaster? What if I fail?
I pile all the pros and cons and what-if’s into a mountain of anxious uncertainty. My clarity is obstructed like a fog that won’t lift.
Have you been there, friend? Are you stuck in the muck of uncertainty today?
Maybe you’re a parent like me and you’re trying to discern what’s best for your kids in the face of an ongoing, ever-changing, unprecedented pandemic. Or maybe your brand of uncertainty is totally different. Maybe you’re at a crossroads in your career or a relationship. Maybe you’re trying to decide whether to go back to school or spend the rest of your savings on another round of IVF or whether to have that uncomfortable conversation about race again.
I don’t know what’s making your brow furrow and stomach knot up in indecision, but I do know this: When we’re faced with uncertainty, our only certain choice is to turn to Jesus.
It’s natural that I would feel the weight of deciding how my three sons will be educated for the upcoming school year. It’s a decision that will have heavy implications for each of them personally and for our family. It’s okay to feel uncertain and stressed.
Where I’ve missed the mark is in believing that I’m alone in making whatever decision I face. I feel like it’s all up to me! (Do you ever feel that way too?) Like the world hinges on my ability to synthesize and analyze incomplete information, perfectly fill in the blanks and accurately predict the future. I’m so afraid of making a mistake.
But nowhere in God’s Word does it say the world — or motherhood or marriage or ministry or next Tuesday — hinges on my ability, or on yours. Nowhere does Scripture say, Though shalt make every decision perfectly and never make a mistake. Because that’s not God’s heart for us.
So what does Scripture say?
God is with you. “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged” (Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV).
God will guide you. “He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way” (Psalm 25:9 NIV).
God gives wisdom. “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking” (James 1:5 NLT).
Need more assurance that these things are true? Read Psalm 139. Read it every day this week. Read it on your Bible App in different translations. Then be honest with God about where you are. Tell Him what your personal fork in the road looks like. Tell Him if you feel alone or scared, lost or mad or overwhelmed.
Then rehearse the truth: “Even there your hand will lead me; your right hand will hold on to me” (Psalm 139:10 CSB).
In this moment, I still haven’t decided what to do about the school year. But this I know: God will give me wisdom when I ask. God is with me, and He will guide me no matter what the path looks like.
I’m not alone. He’s right here.
He’s right there with you too.
Becky,
Maybe it’s been time and experience, but over 60 years I’ve made many “bad” decisions. That’s hard to admit for a “recovering perfectionist.” Most of my bad decisions were made because I didn’t go to the Lord first. He tells us in His word, “Need wisdom…just ask.” The scriptures you quoted are perfect reassurance that God is there for us. As for the “bad”decisions we make, nothing says that they can’t be undone. God will use even the wrong paths we go down for our good and His glory. Knowing this helps to take the edge off when I’m stuck at the crossroad. So what did you finally decide? How’s it going? Excellent post!
Blessings,
Bev xx
Thank you, Bev. I love your reminder that even if/when we make a decision based on our own understanding and go down a path without Him, God is still willing and available to be our course-correcter. And indeed He can use ALL things for our good and His glory. So grateful for that today.
Oh, and we decided on the school-based model. My boys will begin distance learning with their teachers on Zoom on Monday! Here’s to a great year of 2nd, 5th, and 6th grades! Thank you, Jesus, for going with us!
Dear Becky we are all in uncertain times if we look at things this way. With Covid 19. We don’t know what each day will hold. From the minute we get up until we go to bed or will see the end of the Day. We have especially if saved to put our trust in the one who made the world. That is the Lord himself. Even for our unsaved family. To keep praying for them. As when we look at the news we hear good and bad news. When we hear good news we are so happy. But when we hear bad news it sad for the family. I say it does make me see all the more how important it is to be saved when I hear bad news on the new or of someone who is I’ll especially if it a child or someone I know. As no one knows from the minute you get that day until you go to bed that night will you see the end of the day. Or what you are going to be told. If I hear bad new any where in the world or from a on the News or from a person. I go into prayer for that family and I say. God please make the that family or this make the people all over the world see how important it is to be saved and know you as their Saviour especially if not saved. As no one knows the hour or day that life can be cut short or you can hear bad news. So it important no matter what has happened in our families to make friends forgive and love either. Spend time with either. If not getting on. If getting on tell them you love them. They are special. Pray for them if you are saved them not. Ask Jesus to project them. As each day is the day that God gave us. As Psalm 118 verse 24 says This Is The Day The Lord Has Made Let Us Rejoice And Be Glad In It. So let us Rejoice And Be Glad In Every Day We Are Alive to enjoy God’s Beautiful World. Like the Song I was taught at Sunday School. “He got the whole world in his hands” So the Lord has. Like the rest of the words “He got me and You Brother in his hands”. You get it on YouTube. The song. It so lovely to listen to. We can face all things Saddens Happiness ect. Knowing God is with us. He help us get through it all. As he loves us so much. It says in his word he will never leave us or forsake us. Sure he loved us that much he sent Jesus is song to Calvary for us. Thank you Becky for what you wrote also. Thank you incourage for everything also love Dawn Ferguson-Little xxx
Dawn, many days I wake up with those lyrics on my heart. “This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.” Amen, sister. God is our only true source of joy and strength. He is so good and faithful even when the world is falling apart. I’m so glad we can trust in Him and pray for others to come to know Him too. Thanks for being here.
Becky,
Beautifully written. I am writing from CANADA as a retired teacher who has a daughter
who is preparing to returning to teaching Gr.7/8.
Thank you for sharing your uncertainty & insights of how to approach this very soon to be
experience.
Have share your message with our daughter &’other educators that they are not alone & can ask
for what they need.
Together we journey this uncertainty & look forward to sharing how we in CANADA are getting through it in the next month.
God Bless you Becky for sharing what was so needed @ this time.
Prayers for You & All.
Mary, thank you for your kind words. My heart has been so burdened for all the teachers and administrators who are having to lead the way during these challenging times (while figuring it all out for themselves as they go). I can’t imagine the stress and pressure they are under. But you’re so right, we are in this together.
A friend recently wrote that the daily reminder she’s going to tell her kids is, “Just do your best, and God will help you handle the rest.” I think this is a great mantra for students, parents, and educators alike! Pausing now to pray for your daughter today and all the schools in Canada. So glad God is with us in the thick of it.
Mary I have family in Toronto never been. But here it is a lovely part of the world Toronto. My late Uncle. Left Belfast to live there. My Uncle loved Canada. What you wrote so true we do journey this uncertainty together. With the Lord’s help we all can get through it. I live only 86 miles away from Belfast in Northern Ireland. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little
I’m so grateful for this post this morning! ❤️
I’m also in indecision paralysis regarding the school issue – in Ontario, they have announced a full return to school, and my district has done nothing to further enhance safety protocols. However, my indecision doesn’t come as a parent, but rather as a concerned community member – I’ve been wanting to offer “homeschooling” services to 4 kids in the neighbourhood so the parents can get back to work, or even just have a little time to breathe. I was really excited about this and even got my church on board, hoping to offer it at a subsidized cost for these families.
However, I’ve been met with harassment and false accusations from the traditional homeschooling community because… well, I’m just a woman educator and not a mother, so I have “no idea” what I’m doing. The guidelines for operating a “learning pod” are also very unclear, and I feel like one tiny misstep can get me into so much trouble, just for trying to help. I’m also waiting to hear back from the job I lost in April to see if I can start back up next month, and if it does, it derails the whole project. I still believe though, that this idea came from God and was a direct answer to my cries about wanting kids, but being unable to have my own, so I hang on to the hope that even if everything doesn’t work out as I originally hoped, I can still make a difference to these kids and their families!
Adora, I love your heart for seeing a need in your community and wanting to use your skills to step in and help meet that need by serving families in your neighborhood. I’m so sorry for the lack of support and harassment you’ve received. That breaks my heart (and honestly makes me really mad!). I’m praying for your heart and for God to make a clear path forward in this situation.
And let me just say, just because a child doesn’t share your DNA doesn’t mean you weren’t made to mother — to nurture, instruct, care for, come alongside, counsel, cheer on, train, and lift up! I know God will use you in the lives of His children. Praying peace and comfort in the waiting.
Well spoken! My daughters have been struggling with these decisions, too. Someone said to me once that decisions based on love cannot be far off from right. And with God at the center, the odds are even more in our favor. Thanks for the reminder!
Oh, that’s such a good word, Irene! Thank you.
I’m in “Indecision Paralysis” about whether to take an out-of-state trip to celebrate a milestone birthday of a close family member. So many complicating factors to consider. Praying for wisdom and peace.
Yes, things that would have previously just been fun and easy are now so complex. Praying God grants you clear discernment today and peace in whatever decision you make.
:). I appreciate the passion in your writing.
Thank you, Kelly! That means a lot.
Great post. As a parent and a teacher I feel for everyone. All the decisions are hard. I am glad you were able to make your decision and hope your children have a great year.
Christine, oh, I feel so much for all the educators! I’ve been praying regularly for our school teachers, staff, and administrators. This isn’t easy on anyone. Praying today for you and your students and family too!
Amen!
Thanks, Carol! I appreciate you being here.
Thank you for this post.
I am also scared to make the wrong decisions, I have made several in the past with big consequences.
I am also scared taking risks. Even if I know which decision God wants me to make, I am scared and I can question if I really understood that this is what God wants. Because a lot of times we have to make a small step towards a goal, not knowing how God will make it happen. And that scares me a lot.
Sterre, you’re so right about having to take small steps forward in faith and obedience without fully knowing where the path will lead or what the outcome will be. Praying God gives you fresh courage today to take your one next step.
I often think about Israel, they knew they were going to the promised land, they had to trust God going through the desert. They knew where they were going but the path was not easy. It was so difficult they sometimes wished they were back in Egypt. That’s how I feel often these days, knowing were I am going however the path is not easy and I sometimes wish I was back in my “Egypt”. It takes small steps in faith, that I will reach that goal in Gods time, not my time.
Becky,
All of us face uncertainty at times in our lives. I’m sure most of us have made bad decisions or ones we wish we could go back & change. No one knows for certain what lies ahead or around the next bend. Only Jesus the author & finisher of our lives has the answers. When faced with uncertainty or any decisions I simply tell people to ask God who will give generously. Praying for wisdom for all students, educators, moms & dads. It is hard to know what to do. Choose only on-line learning, home school, or regular school via computer? Praying for everyone as they make these tough decisions. May God guide your steps & those of the students to do well this year.
Blessings 🙂
Thank you for your prayers, Beth! My boys started distance learning this morning. #jesustakethewheel So grateful He is with us!
Loved this Becky !! and to you Dawn Ferguson Little, I love your heart-felt posts!!
Thanks for being here, Katherine!