Encouragement

Fully Loved and Always Invited by God

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Here we are two months into the second half of 2020. In January, none of us could have possibly expected all that we would go through or all that we would feel over these past several months. I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted from all of the conversations and the endless arguing online.

Honestly, my soul has been crying out for a bit of quiet and fellowship with intimate community. In some ways I have experienced that fellowship, but in other ways it keeps alluding me. For me, friendship is one of my greatest joys and one of my greatest frustrations, and I keep waiting for the day when they will magically get easier.

These past few weeks have very much felt like the same mountain I’ve seen from every angle. You know the story. You make friends, and you have these expectations. But then you find out or see the group photo of the celebration or girls trip that you weren’t invited to, and there it is again — uninvited. No one wants to feel left out or unwanted, but I’ve spent much of my life just outside of belonging, never feeling good enough.

I’ve been trying my best to navigate these hurt feelings without them turning into anger or offense, but my anxiety has kicked into overdrive. Overwhelm has set in. And shame has sent me spiraling. My instinct is to pull away, build walls, and numb out to avoid pain and confrontation, but as I’ve done my fair share of sitting in the Father’s arms and crying my heart out, I’m praying that my instincts are changing by God’s grace and mercy.

Too often I seek the approval of people. I seek their love and attention. When it doesn’t happen, I’m left feeling empty and alone. But recently, my sweet friend Wendy shared this on a Facebook video: “My security is found in Him alone, in His love, and in nothing else.” Her words have been circling my mind for days, and it has helped me understand these three truths again:

1. God always sees us.

 She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.
Genesis 16:13 (NIV)

In Hagar’s lowest moment when she had been overlooked, abused, rejected, and abandoned, God met her. In a very real way He showed up, looked her in the eye, and saw her. That is what I have needed more than anything — to see the One who sees me. Maybe you need to know that too. I love that He is more than willing to look right into our eyes. He never shies away from our mess or hard-to-love places. He sees us.

2. God always loves us.

. . . God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. We love because he first loved us.
1 John 4:16, 19 (NIV)

Super basic, right? But that’s exactly what I need. God is love and love is what He gives to us. The only reason that we can love Him and others is because He loved us first and planted His love within us. Whenever I don’t feel loved by others for whatever reason, I remember He loves me. He loves us because He couldn’t imagine a world without us in it. He loves us so much so that He created us in His image. He loves us so much that He sent His Son to die a death that we deserved. His love is EVERYTHING for us.

3. God always invites us.

Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
Hebrews 4:16 (NIV)

We can always have confidence that the Lord will welcome us into His love and presence. He stands with arms wide open waiting for us to come to Him. We can bring our joys and sorrows, our successes and failures, our anger and contentment. He meets us with no condemnation and every bit of His grace. He even pursues us with the invitation to intimacy with Himself, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

Jesus is our refuge and safe place, where we are fully known and fully loved. He is our anchor and firm foundation, and our hope is found in Him alone. May we constantly find ourselves running to and gazing on the One who sees us.

In the comments below, share about a time where you felt uninvited
by others but invited by God.

 

[bctt tweet=”God is more than willing to look right into our eyes. He never shies away from our mess or hard-to-love places. He sees us. -@karina268:” username=”incourage”]

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About the Author

Karina Allen is devoted to helping women live out their unique calling and building authentic community through the practical application of Scripture in an approachable, winsome manner.

(in)side DaySpring: things we love
& you will too!
Find more at DaySpring.com
(in)side DaySpring:
things we love
& you will too!
Find more at
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Comments

  1. Karina, I love your vulnerability. Thank you for sharing your heart. Your message is powerful. Bless you!

  2. What a beautiful message today, Karina. It never gets easier knowing you’ve been marginalized because you’re seemingly “not good enough” for others—we have all endured that pain! Thank you for the practical scriptural reminders that we each are #1 with Christ, always.

    Best,
    Andrée

  3. I have felt uninvited by my own family. We are many siblings and there are times, since childhood, that I have been on the outside. Not by choice, just left on the outside. Even now as adults, it happens, and the sting is all too real. So, I am thankful that God has given me a spiritual family.

  4. Good morning, I too have felt uninvited by family members especially during the holiday season when we gather in the living room as certain family members discuss lewd reality tv shows that I refuse to watch. I feel alone, isolated. I’ve also felt alone in the workplace as people would ignore me and treat me badly, not allowing my talents to flourish. God has blessed me with an excellent workplace now where I am respected and my talents are being able to flourish and are recognized.

    • I am so sorry that you’ve experienced that Kamilah. Praise God for His provision of a new workplace. May you always feel invited and loved by Him! Thank you for sharing!

  5. Thank you for your words today! I always appreciate your writings and have been encouraged! I too am struggling with “friendships” that are not reciprocal and am trying to figure out why this happens. It seems I am always the contacting one or the planning one and it doesn’t feel good when it is not reciprocated. I especially want to “build walls and pull away”, as you said so pointedly, because I am tired of feeling this way. Thank you for the food for thought and for the testimony to keep on keeping on!

    • Awe Lydia. I am so sorry that you have felt this way too often. I understand! I am usually the initiator as well. It’s alot. But, I do want to keep at it. I know He has beautiful friendships waiting for us.

      Thank you so much for reading and sharing!

  6. Thank you for this post, Karina! I appreciate the encouragement to seek out the One who sees me. There are many reasons why I’ve felt uninvited and unloved in the past, especially in friendships, but I take solace in the knowledge that no matter what, the Lord will be there for me at all times. As much as it hurts to be excluded, nothing is gained from turning away either. Sometimes you just have to take a chance, make that step towards another in faith.

  7. I have felt uninvited by my family. I have a.wys felt I didn’t quite fit in or at ,east to their expectations and that has been hard. Thank you for the verses and the reminder we are so loved by God.

  8. Karina,
    Thank you for your beautiful vulnerabiltiy in your writing. I needed these reminders today. Feeling uninvited by my adult children. Lately God has been bringing me back to the simplicity of this verse: Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you.” (Matthew 6:33). Instead of seeking “outcomes” or “results” that I’d like to see happen, I need to just keep seeking God first and let Him worry about when the other “things” and “people” will be added unto me. I need to keep working on my primary relationship with God and then let Him worry about the earthly relationships. You are a treasure!! Great post!
    Blessings,
    Bev xx

  9. Thank you Karina for blessing us by sharing your beautifully expressed words, and verses. Also when we feel left out perhaps God is reminding us not to leave others out.
    Blessings to all,
    Penny

  10. Thank you Karina for the great article today.
    I have been feeling lost and lonely most of my life. Felt like I didn’t fit in with friends and family. This morning was a difficult time. The power was out in my home. Even though I spend time by myself most days. Today without power, no television, no internet was a difficult time.
    I did go outside on the porch and read from Sarah Young’s book “Jesus Today” gave a feeling of peace.
    Seize the Moments of your Life…

  11. Thank you, Karina. A much needed message. Thanks for being open and real.

    Peace and Blessings to you!

    Tonya

  13. Thank you Karina for being so honest and open. I have felt far away from some of my family members recently. We do not agree politically and I can see past that but recently one family member started posting things that are racial and I cannot stand it. So I unfriended her and it hurts. Thank you for reminding me that God always sees me and is there for me.

  14. Thank you Karina. Your words spoke to me on so many levels. I have never fit in. I went to 21 schools in 12 years always in small towns where kids grew up together and weren’t open to outsiders. As an adult, I couldn’t find a place to belong. I was always the one who didn’t have children and now the one who doesn’t have grandchildren.

    God has always been there for me and with me even when I haven’t been faithful. Oh how much he loves us. He never turns away.

    Hecknows I need that human connection so He gave me a friend just a little older than I was. She retired from the Air Force before we met. We had so much in common and looked forward to spending our old age being outrageous old ladies. He took her home to be with Him several years ago.

    God also gave me a really great friend who is almost young enough to be my daughter. We have been friends for a long time and do girls trips and celebrate special times. She is a truly amazing person.

    When I feel left out and alone, God reminds me of the people He has sent to me for a season or to become lifelong friends.

    • Amen Donna! I am so sorry for your loss, but praise God for His provision of your sweet friend. He is always faithful and true!

      Thank you for sharing!

  15. I just wrote in my journal, “I need more friends, some who don’t always have excuses for why they can’t join me in plans.” I am quite the introvert and didn’t realize it till my parents passed away and all my children were married with families. They are the only people I did anything with. I’m going to make it a point of prayer and ask God to show me who I can be a friend to, especially during this very isolating time in our history.

  16. Thanks Karina; I can relate to your comment about waiting for friendships to get easier. Even at my best, my attempts to communicate honestly seem to fail me.

    I am at a point in my life where I’m wondering if my friends have a ‘take it or leave it’ attitude toward our relationship. Hard to navigate. Hard to know when to lean in or when to let go.

    God reminded me that ‘blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted’. Comfort isn’t necessary for those who aren’t mourning, but for those who have mourned, the comfort is all the richer when it does come.

    Your post today felt like a little bit of comfort for someone mourning the discouraging seasons of friendship.

    Much love.

    • Oh Karli, I am so sorry you are having a difficult time in friendships. I get it! Praise God for a bit of His comfort!

      Let me know if I can do anything for you.

      Thank you for sharing!

  17. I’m in my sixties and still feel like friendships are difficult if non existent in the truest sense of the word. I’m less affected by their loss at this point in my life. I rely on my husband and our relationship and more importantly my spiritual relationship rather than physical friendships which cause me heartache as they too often fail me. I’m at peace now rather than dwelling on what there is about me that keeps me from having fabulous friendships. It has appeared to me after many years that there are certain times in our lives when friendships come easier than other times. All in all a close relationship with Jesus never fails. Your heart will overflow with love and spill over to others who need you. Blessings to you for your beautiful words dear sister!

  18. Karina, this was beautiful. I like how honest an authentic this post was and I thank God that he laid it on your heart to write this. Personally I’m tired of the toxic environment that social media has become at times. All of us are dealing with this unprecedented time and it seems like despite that there’s so much division and lack of unity. I’m so thankful for how your post redirects us back to the one who loves and accepts us no matter what is going on around us and that he is unconditional.I know for me I have been excluded from attending events because I am not a wife or mom yet. I know God loves and accepts me unconditionally. I have taken what I feel is the scenic route but God is faithful. Jeremiah 29:11

    • Amen Ada! I’m sorry you have been excluded from events. May God show up tangibly in these moments.

      Thank you for sharing! Yes! He is always faithful!

  19. Karina,

    God bless you for sharing your vulnerability. There are times in all our lives when we feel uninvited or unwanted. I’ve visited a few churches where I felt unwanted. I was the “newbie” & yet no one not even the pastor would say hello. At that point I decided not to go back. Obviously they don’t need me or my talents. For the past 16 years I have been at a very open loving church. First time I visited with my hubby one of the matriarchs of the church came back & said “welcome & please come back”. It made me feel wanted & loved. It is so easy to feel unwanted in life-especially during these trying times. Don’t let that drag you down. God sees you & loves you. He hears your cries for friendship, love, etc. He fully understands us & our mess. Cry out to God. He will take care of you always!!

    Blessings:)

  20. Thank you for this heartwarming post – to re-direct our longings to the ONE who alone understands and loves us fully. I, too, often feel the isolation of “left-out-ness” and it is good to be reminded that HE will never leave us out. Perhaps I need to remind myself more often of a poem I wrote some years ago, and my be helpful to someone?
    He’s Always There!
    When human friends are busy
    Or in a personal tizzy –
    He’s always there!
    Friend and Father true,
    There never is a queue,
    He’s always there!
    Whenever we’ve a care,
    We can send an instant prayer
    He’s always there!
    If we’re in despair
    He never is elsewhere,
    He’s always there!
    Whenever teardrops glisten
    He’s ready then to listen
    He’s always there!
    Our fears He can destroy
    And fill us full of joy
    He’s always there!
    Whenever we’ve a doubt
    His Word can help us out,
    He’s always there!
    Right through to the end
    He is our closest friend
    He’s always there!
    We do not see His face
    But know His power and grace
    He’s always there!
    With grateful thanks we raise
    Our hearts to Him in praise
    He’s always there!
    Camilla Diann 25.6.2005
    “…And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:20

  21. Dear karina. Thank you for your kind words. I do not like to advertise myself on your site but if you are interested my Christian poems have just been published by Westbow Press in USA under the title Living &Learning. Can be downloaded for $3.99US. My pen name is Camilla Diann and I live in Australia. I have written on a wide variety of everyday subjects from a Christian viewpoint which speak to the heart. I hope you do not mind me mentioning this but Any profit will be donated to a Social Services arm of the Presbyterian Church here so this is not for my personal gain. God bless you all. I really find the in courage posts so relatable and inspiring. Camilla

  23. Karina, thank you for your sweet words of encouragement. There is so much truth, vulnerability, and encouragement in your words. Thanks for lifting up today with encouragement that the Lord fully loves us right where we are – what a sweet, sweet reminder.