I am not proud to admit that when things go wrong in my life – or in the lives of the people I love – my first instinct isn’t always a posture of prayer.
Instead, I too often adopt a posture of self-help. I act as if my theology is something along the lines of “I’ve got this,” instead of “God’s got this.” Or weirder still: “If I worry about this enough, it will resolve itself.”
I suppose this attitude is a byproduct of the culture in which I was born and bred. The concept of the “self-made man” is so pervasive we buy into the notion that our fates are in our own hands. We believe that with enough hard work, we can get what we want – a bigger house, a better job, a more fit physique, an idealized social status.
If you’ve lived long enough under that sort of ethic, you can begin to think that prayer is no more than a beautiful expression of faith. You might not say it out loud, but deep within you, you might be thinking, “God is great and all, but if I want something done, I’ll have to do it myself.” And let’s face it, so many of us have poured out our hearts to God, begging Him to move urgently, only to feel like our prayers were just an echo in the darkness, especially when we show up at the graveside service.
I found myself falling into this way of thinking recently when one of my children was facing a particularly difficult challenge that had us all in tears. I sat awake many nights in a row devising plans to “fix the problem.” I thought about ways to confront, correct, or control what was happening.
One morning, after a particularly long night, I was studying a verse in John. “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33 NIV).
I kept looking at the tiny, three-word exclamation in the middle of that verse: “But take heart!” Jesus didn’t say, “Take matters into your own hands.” He didn’t say, “Take control.” He said, “Take heart.”
Taking heart is not a posture of self-help. It’s the posture of humility. Indeed, it’s the posture of prayer. Prayer is the acknowledgement that we’re not running the show — God is. It is a way of saying, “I trust Your ways more than mine, Lord.”
I think now about the dozens of biblical heroes whose very lives illustrate the power of prayer. Here are just a few:
Hannah prayed — and birthed a son (1 Samuel 1:1-20).
Esther prayed — and a nation was delivered (Esther 4:15-17).
Daniel prayed — and the mouths of lions were snapped shut (Daniel 6).
Moses prayed to see God’s glory — and he got the greatest show on earth (Exodus 33:12-23).
It wasn’t their muscle or intelligence or strategic planning that worked. It was their willingness to fall to their knees.
One prayer really can change everything, so don’t underestimate the power of your prayers. Don’t fall for the lie that your prayers have to be said a certain way to count. Don’t give up asking. Not now! God hears you, and no prayer is ever, ever wasted. Ask and ask again because even when our prayers don’t change our circumstances, those prayers are changing us.
What are you praying for today? Maybe you’re like Hannah, praying for a child to hold. Or maybe you’re praying for a child to come home, to be healed, to turn back around from where he’s headed.
Maybe you’re like Esther, praying for a nation.
Maybe you’re like Daniel, and that lion you’re praying against is the one who’s been preying on your family.
Maybe you are like Moses, and you just want to see God.
Ask. Pray. It changes things. And then keep your eyes open because His answer might just blow you away.
Remember Peter? He was in prison, and the church kept praying for him. One night, an angel appeared in Peter’s cell. Chains fell, and Peter walked out the door. Even Peter couldn’t believe what was happening! He went to Mary’s house, where the church had been praying. A servant named Rhoda answered the door, and she was so shocked, she forgot to let him in!
Keep your eyes open for a Rhoda-styled surprise. Don’t give up now. You are never as powerful as that moment when you fall to your knees in prayer.
How can I pray for you today?
[bctt tweet=”One prayer really can change everything, so don’t underestimate the power of your prayers. -@dukeslee:” username=”incourage”]
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AR says
I couple months ago I decided to end my mentally and verbally abusive marriage. Since then, we have had to remain in the same house. Court dates have been postponed, his attorney has been weeks to respond. All the while, the abuse has kicked up. We have children, and I am so worriedly about them. Can you please pray for my children. Pray for my heart. I am so weak. Pray His timing is in my favor. Thank you.
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
AR,
I’ve walked in your shoes. Good for you for wanting to get out. God does not expect his daughters to live in this kind of toxic marriage. Is there no other place you can go? A family member’s, a friend’s place? It’s important that your children see that this type of abuse is not right and is not to be tolerated…by anyone. I am praying earnestly right now that the Lord will give you strengh and deliverance. May God expedite the process and bring you to a place of freedom and peace.
Blessings and gentle hugs,
Bev xx
AR says
Thank you so much. I am in tears reading the responses. I try to leave as much as possible. Circumstances don’t allow me to leave it long term. But I do try to leave as often as I can. And come home after he goes to bed. Thank you for the prayers. I hate that ANYONE has gone through this. It is awful. My children are teenagers. They are everything. And they don’t want this to continue either.
Elizabeth says
AR –
I was in your position (minus the pandemic) not so long ago. My daughter’s father was abusive and refused to leave our shared home. It felt like a lifetime before I was able to get him out and, like you, things escalated.
I pray that you will find some comfort and peace. I pray that God will place a blanket of protection over you and your children.
He has given you the strength to expect more for you and your children. I know that he will give you the strength to get through this process.
Elizabeth
Beth Williams says
Ar,
Sweet sister praying fervently that God will provide a safe place for you & your family. May He send strength & endurance to handle this situation.
Abba Father,
Please expedite the ending of this marriage. You are a loving God & don’t want to see your children abused by others. Give Ar a safe haven for herself & the children. Help them to see & understand that this type of abuse isn’t tolerated by you or anyone. Send comfort & peace to her weary soul. In Jesus Name AMEN!
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
AR,
Like Bev, I too wonder if there’s another place where you can go to find safe refuge from this abuse and toxic environment. And yes, I will pray. I am praying, even now, for God to move swiftly in these matters, for you to find safe haven, for protection over your children, and for a stable and peace-filled future for you. xo
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Jennifer,
I, too, grew up believing that if you wanted something done right, you did it yourself. For many years, “self-sufficiency” was my middle name. Self-sufficiency also has another name – pride…ouch! At the very least, I thought that God needed my awesome help in order to work out whatever the problem was at hand. The truth is God loves a humble and contrite heart and I needed to be broken from my prideful ways. In this world we WILL have trouble and God is so merciful and loving. He’s told us that HE will fight the battle; we need only to be still. After enough times of only calling on God when I’ve gotten to the end of myself, has enabled me to realize that I’m not the answer – He is. In order to get through this life and all its trials, I need to utterly rely and depend upon the Lord. I need to pray first, not last. He is my strength. He’s got the problem and He’s got me. He’s been patient in breaking down this self-sufficency in me. Instead of “self-help,” I know the only way is “God-help.” Awesome post. I could use prayer for a prodigal son and an angry daughter.
Thank you…
Blessings,
Bev xx
Elizabeth says
Bev –
I am always praying for you and your children.
Elizabeth
Beth Williams says
Bev,
You & family are in my prayers as always!
Blessings 🙂
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Bev, Thanks for sharing your heart here. It sounds like we have some similar personality traits. 🙂
Please know that I am praying for you, for your son, and for your daughter. I pray for resolution, peace, and for God to be evident in the midst of it all! xo
Elizabeth says
Please pray for God’s wisdom and guidance for my life with my daughter. We moved away after ending a relationship with her abusive father. I had thought/hope that being closer to family would be good for us both, but it hasn’t been what I hoped or expected. I so miss the church community that I had established before, but I am fearful of moving closer to her father.
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Elizabeth,
A pandemic sure isn’t helping you to establish new relationships in a new community. There have been periods wherein God has removed the people in my life in order to get some uninterrupted One-on-one time with me. I fought it when I needed to lean into Him. He wanted to draw me closer and build our relationship. Then doors opened up and I had the hard work of establishing new, healthy relationships. I had to do most of the reaching out, but it’s so important to have support and community around you. God will not let you endlessly do life on your own. Pray and ask for His wisdom and discernment. He promises to answer when His children ask. Take heart…He does have a good and perfect will for you and your daughter. Our door is always open and we’re not far from you 🙂
Blessings sweet friend,
Bev xx
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Elizabeth, I am praying for you to find the right place for you and your daughter in this new stage of life. Bev raises a really going point about this pandemic, making it difficult to connect with people in a new community. I am praying for God to make a way for you in this new season, for him to reveal his plans, and for you to find peace and hope and relationships with some people in your community. May you also be strengthened in your relationship with God during this crazy time. xo
Darlene says
Thank you in advance for your prayers! I would like prayer for my unsaved Husband and son.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Good morning, Darlene. I am praying now for your husband and son, that their hearts would be turned toward God and his saving grace and goodness. xo
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Elizabeth,
A pandemic sure isn’t helping you to establish new relationships in a new community. There have been periods wherein God has removed the people in my life in order to get some uninterrupted One-on-one time with me. I fought it when I needed to lean into Him. He wanted to draw me closer and build our relationship. Then doors opened up and I had the hard work of establishing new, healthy relationships. I had to do most of the reaching out, but it’s so important to have support and community around you. God will not let you endlessly do life on your own. Pray and ask for His wisdom and discernment. He promises to answer when His children ask. Take heart…He does have a good and perfect will for you and your daughter. Our door is always open and we’re not far from you 🙂
Blessings sweet friend,
Bev xx
Dawn Ferguson-Little says
We can all as Followers of God give up when we have prayed many times. Say why bother praying anymore. Is God really listing to my prayers. I am praying into a empty space. I am just saying words prayers just for sake of it. Is God listing to my prayers. Then we wonder why bother praying anymore more the things you are praying for. Especially if you have been praying for them for along time. Not got any answers. You beging to dought God. Wonder where he is. Is is there does he care. Have sin in my life have done something wrong. Is that why God is not answering my prayers or this very important prayer. One reason God might not be answering it as quickly as you like is God might be testing you faith in him to see how strong it. Is so strong that it stays rooted in him. That if you hear the Old Devil Whisper in your ear no you might as well give up and stop Praying and believing for what you are praying for and want God to answer. As it not going to be answered. God not listing. So give up. But you have to say no Devil. I going to keep on praying. I not going to give up. I going to keep on believing and in God Perfect timing my prayer will be answered. I not going to let you Whisper in my ear it not going to be answered. As I read in an other reading Our Daily Bread. A Mother prayed for over 20 years for the Salvation of her son. One day the front cover of it was on the kitchen table. The words of it convicted him. He got saved. So by her not giving up even though it took over 20 years. That Mother’s didn’t let the Devil Whisper in her ear give up he not coming. In the end even though it took over 20 years. That Mother’s prayers were answered. Her son came to know Jesus as his saviour. So that give me hope for my unsaved Family. As I am the only one on my side of the Family saved. So don’t ever let the Devil Whisper in your ear you prayers will not be answered. Listen to God and his Holy Spirit. In God Perfect timing they will be. Love today’s reading xxx
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Good morning, Dawn! Thanks for your encouragement to everyone reading today. Your faith is so evident, and I am guessing you are a mighty prayer warrior! God bless you.
Beth Williams says
Jennifer,
–
I’m reminded of the song “The Battle Belongs to the Lord”. A couple of stanzas “no weapon that’s fashioned against us shall stand; When your enemy presses in hard do not fear;; Take courage my friend, your redemption is near. Singing it makes you realize that God is at work ALL the time. You may not be able to see visible evidence, but take heart He is working hard on your behalf. Jesus showing us that we should always pray & never give up told a parable in Luke 18:1-8 about a persistent widow & unjust judge. She constantly came to him with her plea. The judge would refuse, but after a long while He gave in to her so that she would quit bothering him. We know that God isn’t like that. He wants to hear from us all the time. His desire is for us to converse with Him daily.
My prayer requests are for my hubby to find an outpatient CT job in our area. The workload & stress is getting to be to much at the hospital. He dreads going in to work 3 days (12 hrs shifts).
An older church member has taken chemo for breast & bone cancer. Now she must endure radiation. Asking for complete healing.
Lastly a good co-worker’s father (83) just had a bladder tumor removed & has a urine drainage bag. They didn’t get the whole tumor. He was sick to stomach, didn’t want to eat & just made comfortable. Wednesday they go see the results. Prayers for peace no matter the outcome. She is worried.
Praying for all here in this pandemic & civil unrest. May God give you rest for your weary tired souls.
Blessings 🙂
Dawn Ferguson-Little says
Yes Beth the Battle belong to Lord. Not The Devil. That is why Gods followers Pray. Love that song a lot Beth. Thank you for what you wrote it has so much in couraged me Dawn Ferguson-Little Enniskillen Co.Fermanagh N.Ireland xx
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Hi Beth! Thank you so much for your remarks about prayer. That’s such a great example from Scripture. Please know that I have prayed for your prayer requests, just now.
Lynn D. Morrissey says
Jennifer, you and your precious family have been praying for a physical difficulty that has overtaken my body since June 29th (no known cause, no known source), and has not relented. God has heard those prayers that I not have a dreaded disease (praise Him!), and yet, the overwhelming problem relentlessly continues, unabated. My life has changed as I knew it. Removal of this difficult condition has also been my prayer and the prayer of many. Sometimes (often!) when I pray, I try to control how God will answer. I continue to pray it will end, but because I know He is sovereign, I know He has sent this thing. So I’m asking Him for grace to endure and to teach me through it, and that one day I might comfort others as He has me. I see in all you write a woman who has walked humbly with her God, and now you are reaching out to others with the power of your pen, dipped in the ink of His truth. Keep praying. Keep writing. Keep sharing. I have prayed too for you and your precious family and will continue.
All my love,
Lynn
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Lynn, It breaks my heart knowing all that you have been going through — and for such a lengthy time. I will continue to pray for you and your family. I will continue to ask the Lord to bring you COMPLETE relief and healing. Love you, friend.
Lynn D. Morrissey says
I love you, too, sweet friend, and am humbled by your prayers (and those of the mighty Lee Ladies), as God might lead you.
xo
L
Nancy Ruegg says
Thank you for sharing your beautiful testimony of faith, Lynn! Not a hint of bitterness, impatience, or frustration in your words. Instead you are looking for God’s grace to endure, the lessons he would teach you through this season, and that ways you might comfort others. Praise God for the positive and empowering difference he makes when trouble attacks!
Barbara says
Beautiful post… I have asked for prayer for this before, but felt to ask again, I am recovering from an eating disorder and am stuck in the ugly aftermath of depression, bad habits, self pity and isolation, desperate to truly, deeply change. God has begun the healing and redirection of my heart, but I am struggling to know what to do and how to move forward.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Barbara, I am so glad you reached out and asked for prayer. Someone I love very much is in a similar situation as you, recovering from an eating disorder, and so I can empathize deeply with what you are going through. Please know that I am praying for you today.
Arnesia says
Prayer for my family, marriage, kids, my son’s upcoming brain surgery and last, but surely not least to keeping seeking first the Kingdom and the Savior!
Trina says
I grew up in a lonely childhood. Then came an abusive marriage. On my own for a long time raising my only child. Then I meet a godly sweet wonderful man whom God took from me after only 4 yrs of marriage. My child is doing well in the world but is a prodigal of faith. I am waiting for a financial prayer. I am waiting for salvation for my child. I am waiting for purpose. And I pray for our nation! But I know that God is faithful. He always has been. I am joyful to know Jesus as He is my hope. I am always praying. He always comes through! Thank you, Jennifer, for your insight into prayer. God bless you and all of these dear ladies!
Pauline says
PJ says: Please join me in praying for my two prodigal daughters. One has 4 teenage children & 2 teenage step children. They all need Jesus so much but think everything is fine.
The other daughter has been divorced and is looking for love in all the wrong places.
We raised our girls in a Christian home but as they became adults they have turned away from God .
Our hearts are broken to see them going their own way.
Thank you for your post and your book”It’s all under control “. They have helped me to see that God cares and has His plan and timing in all that concerns me. Thanks for praying with me.
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Pauline,
I’ve been praying for my two for years. I did my best to introduce them to the Lord. They both had active faith and then turned away. It’s heartbreaking. It’s taken me a long time to come to grips with the fact that my kids have free will (God’s gift to us). We can’t force them back to God, but even though I’ve prayed for years with no tangible result (if anything things have gotten worse), I still need to trust that God’s got them and He is working behind the scenes. He loves them even more than I do. The humble prayers of a praying mom are powerful. I am adding your two to my list when I pray for mine. An excellent book of prayer is “Prayers for Prodigals” by James Banks. He uses a lot of scripture in the prayers and they always seem to speak of what’s on my heart. May God use this time to draw you closer to Him…
Blessings and prayers,
Bev xx
Sandy says
I’m waiting on results of biopsy- Dr telling me she Is 90% sure it’s cancer. I’m praying God can do a miracle with 10%!!! Prayers for good report!! Thank you praying community!!!
Becky Herrington says
Great article. Thanks for this encouragement. God bless you.
Olivia says
Just a timely post in all of this time of uncertainty… Because I know that I have spent more than enough time stressing and worrying about what to do for back to school and not enough time in prayer.
Karen Knowles says
Thank you, Jennifer, for the encouraging words and thank you Beth for the encouraging song! Praying for each and every one of you and trusting God for His answers. There have been times I have prayed about something and miraculously received the answer immediately which really built my faith. There have also been things I have prayed for and still continue to pray for with seemingly no answer. I just keep praying because I know God sees the big picture and that He knows best and has His own time for the manifestation of His answers to all our prayers. May each of you sense His presence with you in whatever circumstance you find yourself in.
Pilar says
Please pray for my unsaved husband. He is an atheist and is verbally abusive. We have two daughters 12 and 15. It has been very hard for us. Many years of tears and very stressful situations. God bless you all.
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Pilar,
My heart breaks for you. I know the path you walk. God calls us to honor our marriage vows and to submit to our husbands, but our husbands are to be treating us like how Christ loves the Church. Your husband is abusive. Is he willing to seek help for this? Or does he think you are the problem? I pass on what I learned from my Christian counselor…God does not expect you to stay in an abusive marriage. God does NOT want any of His daughters to suffer any type of abuse, and verbal/emotional abuse is just as deadly as physical abuse. I encourage you to seek help/counseling. You don’t want to model to your two precious daughters that abuse is something to be endured or tolerated. Your job is not to “save” your husband, but you can save yourself and your daughters. Lifting you in prayer right now. Your are worthy, you matter, and you are loved and cherished by God.
Blessings,
Bev xx
Gina says
I need freedom from severe anxiety and fear. I cannot leave my house or be around people because of it. It also affects my eating and my physical body is weak because of it. I need Jesus to heal me.
Liz says
Praying for you Gina, I totally understand. No restful sleep, no reprieve. God is sovereign, he has a wonderful plan for our lives. Keep seeking his face, sister.
Pilar says
Dear Gina, I have also suffered from anxiety, fear and depression. Reading God’s word abundantly will help you a lot as well as praying and spending time with the Lord. Two beautiful scriptures: Philippians 4: 6-7, Isaiah 26:3. I also find Max Lucado’s books very helpful and incouraging, and he has several youtube videos talking about these topics. My daughters are using a beautiful prayer book from Max Lucado and Andrea Lucado Pocket Prayers. God’s perfect love will free you from anxiety and fear.
Nancy Ruegg says
Thank you, Jennifer for fresh motivation to pray for the needs that press in on our hearts–for family, friends, churches and other organizations, our leaders, our nation. The needs are great; some situations look impossible. “We have to pray with our eyes on God, not on the difficulties”–Oswald Chambers.
Jo Ann Alo says
Godliness with contentment.
Thank you kindly.
Dede Henderson says
My mom had a stroke last November that left her paralyzed on her left side. She’s been in a long term care facility since the stroke and finally gets to come home next week. Please play for a smooth transition, strength, and continued healing. Thank you!
Jenny says
I’m just like Hannah. I’ve been praying for my husband and I to have a child for nearly ten years now. I’ve gone through laparoscopic surgery two and a half years ago after being diagnosed with endometriosis and adenomyosis. (which my doctors says is not a factor for infertility for my case.) He’s been tested and results are perfect and I’m ovulating yet we somehow are the 1 in 8 couples who have unexplained infertility. And as each month comes, I get very painful periods that my doctor can literally do nothing about which is a painful reminder that I’m still barren, and in immense pain month after month, year after year. After all the testing, my surgery, and prayers we’ve done and said, I’ve grown to understand God really is in control. I’m honestly growing wearing of praying and asking for children. I’ve entertained the thought of us never having children because that’s what God wants.
I understand there are children needing homes but we are not in a place right now or anytime soon to be able to begin to take that route. However, we are open to it! But, This read has put a little spark back into my heart about my dream to become a mother and to keep asking. Over the years, I quit asking and praying for it because I’ve only seen it be answered to EVERYONE around me. It gets discouraging. I am thankful my marriage is so strong and we continue to seek God’s favor upon us to have a family of our own that has been a deep desire in our hearts. Thank you for sharing this piece of encouragement that I had no idea my heart really needed. Bless you!