Driving through carpool line, Andrew held his bag of Valentine’s treats in his lap. I felt awful knowing that what he had to give to his classmates wasn’t nearly as cute and fun as what he would receive.
But as we inched closer to the front of the school, Andrew asked when they’d be passing out candy in class. He didn’t care that his treats weren’t decorated with cartoon characters and hearts or any indications of Valentine’s Day at all. But I did!
Andrew had reminded me the night before that he needed treats to share with his classmates the next day, and I had none. What kind of mom forgets Valentine’s treats for her third-grade son?
After I got the boys to bed, I ran to Target where the Valentine’s aisle looked like a bomb had exploded. Mismatched candy and gifts were everywhere but no appropriate elementary school cards or treats were to be found.
With no other option in site, I grabbed a few packs of mini Kit-Kat bars and decided my poor child could write “From Andrew” with a Sharpie on the back of each treat. I would apologize profusely and promise to never forget again.
The next morning as we drove to school, I wondered if I could make up my for my mom-fail with a big Valentine’s Day surprise when Andrew got home from school. Before it was his turn to get out of the car, I tried to think of a question that might help me figure out what to buy him.
“Andrew, what makes you feel loved?” I asked.
He thought for a minute and said, “THIS.”
“This?” I asked.
“Yeah. This. You being with me. You driving me to school and talking to me about my day. You telling me you’ll be there when I get home. That makes me feel loved. Thanks, Mom. I love you, bye!”
And he hopped out of the car.
This is love? You mean, I don’t have to work myself into a tizzy shopping for a toy that will convince my child I won’t forget him, even when I forget important things for him?
This is love? Even though I was grouchy the day before, so much so that Andrew asked if I was mad about something, more than once?
It’s been a over decade since that day, but I’ll never forget the words that spilled out of my little boy’s heart so effortlessly — words that changed the way I pressured myself into believing I had to be the perfect mom, words that helped me see God’s love for me.
As I drove home that morning, I wondered what I would say if God asked me what makes me feel loved.
Andrew’s words rang true for me too. This is love:
- A promise that is kept.
- A place that is certain.
- Someone who is there for me again and again.
“Lord, this is love: You asking and caring. You being there. You keeping Your promises like You said you would. This is love. ”
And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them . . . There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect [complete] in love. We love because he first loved us.
1 John 4:16-19 (NIV)
We are loved. We don’t have to wait for God to show it. He already has. He promised He’d always be there for us, and He is — present and listening, certain and caring.
No matter what we are going through today, we can live and love from the overflow of being loved. We can know and rely on God’s promises and presence and be made complete in Him.
This is love.
[bctt tweet=”No matter what we are going through today, we can live and love from the overflow of being loved. -@reneeswope:” username=”incourage”]
Leave a Comment
Jas says
What gorgeous words from your son and when he was so young too. It makes this mama heart swell for you!
You are so right in that we are truly loved by Jesus and God. I reveal in that. It makes me feel safe. I’m more in tune with it the more I get older. But what do you think the part of the verse that says those that fear do not live in love?
Jas says
I’m referring to the ‘not made complete’? Should it taken as an invitation not to fear? Some of us that have the occasional anxiety or even the fear of stepping out into the unknown or for our children etc – that we could be judged for this? Or Is it a friendly loving invitation to try and absolve us of our fears?
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Jas,
This scripture is not referring to those of us who have anxiety (or fear) . We are never judged for having anxiety…no condemnation. So many verses are written about “don’t be anxious” – not as a do this or else, but as in God saying, “I know you WILL be anxious…bring it to me and I want to help you.” This verse is not referring to “general anxiety” it’s referring to fear about judgment day. When we accept Christ as our Savior, there is no fear of judgment day. God is always love and certainly doesn’t judge those who struggle with anxiety. Verses like this can grab me sometime too…God loves you!!
Blessings,
Bev xo
Renee Swope says
Jas, Im so glad this story resonated with you and pulled you closer into the arms of God’s love. I struggle with anxiety too sometimes, and know that God holds in that hard place. The end of this verse reminds me that I’ll never be all the way complete until I’m in Heaven with Jesus, filled and fulfilled, completed in His love and by His love.
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Jas,
This Amplified version of that segment of scripture helps shed light on what that means: “so the one who is afraid [of God’s judgment] is not perfected in love [has not grown into a sufficient understanding of God’s love].”
You don’t have fear of God’s judgement because you KNOW as a believer that Christ died for your sins. You are forgiven. It is finished. No fear of condemnation. Your salvation is secure. So, you HAVE grown into a sufficient understanding of God’s love. Rest easy….you’ve got this..
Love,
Bev xo
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Renee,
These words speak of God’s character: “A promise that is kept.
A place that is certain.
Someone who is there for me again and again.”
Oh, and that part about sacrificing His one and only Son. Sometimes I have to really slow down and think through what this means. What kind of love would do that? How God’s heart must have broken to see His Son tortured, but He loves me/you too much to live without us. This is the promise that is alluded to throughout the Old Testament. God made good on sacrificing His Son so that we could be ushered into a genuine relationship with Him. This is the ultimate answer, but there are SO many other ways God shows His love. We’re on the same page today as my blog post is entitled, “Does God REALLY Love Me?” It’s a concept I’ve struggled with for years to grasp (hope it’s okay if I share?) Loved this, Renee, and what a blessing from your son <3 https://walkingwellwithgod.blogspot.com/2020/02/does-god-really-love-me.html
Blessings,
Bev xx
Renee M Swope says
So glad you shared your post Bev!! Was traveling Thursday and had outpatient surgery Friday morning, so I’m hoping to hop over and read it this weekend or next week!
Michele Morin says
I’ve been feeling like a grandmothering failure lately–just not enough time to schedule a “play date” with the adorable grands, so this Friday has been on the schedule for a while, and I learned last night that my grandson has been counting the days until he goes to Bam’s house. I know his love language has more to do with time and fun activities than any of the other things I’ve been fretting over, and I appreciated this reinforcement from your own story.
Blessings to you in all your mothering and carpooling and late night Target runs!
Dawn Ferguson-Little says
The best love is Jesus that came into the world as baby born in manger with no airs or graces. God choose for his son not to be born in any fancy place. Just a manger. Then to go on to Clavary Cross for us. What greater Love could anyone give us. Jesus love us no matter what color of skin we are. We are all his precious Children. You can never stop Jesus loving you. John 3 verse 16 says it all. For God so Loved the Word He Gave His Only Begotten Son. What other Father would do that for the whole WORLD. THIS IS LOVE WE ARE LOVED. On Youtube listen to Father’s Love letter it tell you how much you are loved by God. He knows your name he even knows the very number of hairs on your head. He know the color of your eyes. I could go on the Father’s Love letter on Youtube will tell you more on how much you are Love by God. Love today’s reading. Xxx Love Dawn Fergson-Little
Renee Swope says
We are so very loved!! And I am so very grateful. xoxo
Beth Williams says
Renee,
Your son said it best. Children don’t really want things. They want their parents to care for them. They want to be with you & talk about their days. The song lyrics “Can’t buy me love” is so true. No amount of money can replace actual face time with the kiddos & grands. God’s love is just like that. He is there waiting every morning & all through out the day. Just wanting to talk with us as a parent would for a child. For me showing love means cooking a nice, healthy meal, cleaning house, just being with & doing little things for my hubby. That means more to me than any item you could buy, True love is sacrificial. It gives up something like God giving up His only son. God bless you on your mothering journey.
Blessings 🙂
Florence says
This is so amazing! I have been struggling with feeling loved by God. I keep praying to Him that I would understand and live in the certainty of His love for me.. I cant stop feeling frustrated for making the same mistakes and because I cant get rid of anxiety thant in makes me feel not enough or worthy of His love. And even though I know He loves me I just cant feel it for me. Your words gave me hope and a sense of peace, thank you for sharing.
Renee M Swope says
I am praying for you right now Florence, that you will simply rest in His love. We are not worthy, but Jesus death on the cross shows we were worth it to HIM!! He loves you so much – no matter how many times you feel like you mess up. Nothing can’t make Him stop loving you. He is not frustrated with you but full of grace, patience, affection and invitation to you to live loved as His beloved! xoxo
Jacquelyn Platek says
Amen! Thanks for this heartfelt reminder! 🙂