Recently, I was given an assignment:
Ask a few people who know you well what they think your biggest strengths are and where they see you being brave in the midst of what you’re dealing with.
Honestly, I was afraid to pose the question to those closest to me. My reservation was not because of what they might or might not say. My friends are beautiful people, so I knew they would respond with encouraging words. I was reluctant to ask them the question because I didn’t want to interrupt their day. My husband is a busy businessman. His time is reserved for clients all over the nation. My friend is a teacher at an elementary school, whose attention is solely focused on the little learners in her class. My other friend is an artist and work-from-home-mom of four, whose care is in constant demand. And my mom, well I am still amazed at how she is less available as a retiree than she was when she worked a full-time job.
I didn’t think that they should be disrupting the rhythm and demands of their day on my behalf. “They don’t have time,” I thought. And I didn’t believe that I was worthy of their encouraging words. So even as I write this, I have no idea why I actually followed through with the assignment (probably because I am a bit of a perfectionist who has to finish what she’s started — classic enneagram one!). So, at the beginning of the day, I quickly texted the question and hit send.
“Well at least I did the assignment,” I thought. I resolved that if no one replied, I would be fine with that. After all, what right did I have to require their time and attention.
The school teacher responded so quickly that I was baffled by how fast she must have read the text and typed her response. It read:
Your biggest strength is your ability to teach and reach all levels. You do this with such care, and you are super prepared. You have such grace for the “ignorant.”
A few minutes later, the artist-mom-of-four replied:
I think your strength is your ability to transmit the knowledge and peace God has placed within you. This comes across to many as grace, acceptance, wisdom, and a willingness to hear someone’s heart. This connects to how you are brave because you are willing to show this same ability in stressful situations and toward difficult people. This gives you a strong voice in the darkness, but it is not shouting with hate but holding steadfast with love and humility.
By the afternoon, my mom had texted back with an abridged response, indicating her level of busyness:
Greatest strengths: love for God and all mankind, positive, focused, honest, determined, sincere.
Brave: stepping out in faith. Trusting God.
And in a fashion that is truly my husband, he slid into home base just before bed time with this response:
Strengths: Learning new things, work ethic, caring for people that others discard (and other nice things I’ll keep to myself)
Brave: You are out on a limb doing things that are brand new to you. Connecting all the dots, even the ones outside of your natural strengths and interests.
It was difficult for me to read their words. In the midst of all the challenging and new endeavors that have chased me down and overtaken me, I imagined that those closest to me could only see a whirlwind of anxiety, fear, and panic occupying the space where Lucretia once existed. I have felt like a mess and was sure that is how I was perceived. But their words described the woman I long to be, a woman I would admire and celebrate.
So, I paused to admire her. I looked at how she’d said yes to hard things far outside of her comfort zone. I reflected on how her unconventional methods — the ones that got her rejected by the status quo — had afforded her seats at tables that had been longing to host her. The cost had been significant, but she was confident that the rewards would be exponentially greater. I rejoiced that her fear was overshadowed and outweighed by her courageous love. And this woman, the one those closest to me described, knew that she was not alone. She knew that she was simply an expression of a loving and generous God.
Although I had been reluctant to reach out for them, I paused and considered the gift I’d been given through their affirmations. I needed to gaze at their picture of me. I inhaled. I decided to believe them. I exhaled, refreshed with a new mindset. Where I could only see struggle and exhaustion, friends saw my race marked with endurance and winning.
Now its your turn: Ask a few people who know you well what they think your biggest strengths are and where they see you being brave in the midst of what you’re dealing.
[bctt tweet=”Run your race with courage. -@brownicity:” username=”incourage”]
Leave a Comment
JollyNotes.com says
This post made me smile – Thanks for sharing, Lucretia! You probably already know this – but wow, you are SO blessed to have these people in your life. Their immense love for you is evident. Enjoy your people and please don’t take this for granted:) I know you won’t!
Have a beautiful day:)
Blessings,
Bomi:)
Lucretia Berry says
Thank you very much. This assignment helped me in so many ways. But seeing that I have a community of folks who truly see me was such a gift.
I hope you will do the assignment.
Shalom to you!
LCB
JollyNotes.com says
I hope so too:) A little shy I must admit lol. My loved ones regularly shower me with kind words of encouragement. I feel a little shy asking for more!:-) It would be awesome to know their answers to these very specific questions! So, I hope so too:) Thanks again for sharing this LCB! Shalom to you too sister!:)
~ Bomi 🙂
Happy Encouragement Day! says
PS: I am going on a “date” with my 12 year old son this afternoon. 🙂 He has a half day at school today, so I plan to take him out for lunch after picking him up from school:) You, along with a podcast I listened to a few days ago, have inspired me to also shower my son with words of affirmation and encouragement this afternoon. In fact, I will go ahead and do the same for a few other loved ones in my life right now, including my husband and my 14yr old son:) Oooh I can’t wait!! So thankful for this opportunity!! Thank you so much once again Lucretia:)!
Blessings,
Bomi 🙂
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Lucretia,
Just like you, I would be hesitant to bother others to answer that question. Plus I would feel like I was looking for self-praise and that’s not very humble. Just yesterday, a wonderful friend, whom I met right here through (in)courage, spoke some wonderful words of affirmation over me. It brought me to tears. In a world where others wan’t to tear you down in order to build themselves up, this kind of affirmation is a priceless rarity. As much as I squirm to do this, I’m going to take your challenge and ask 3 people to answer this question. I predict more tears (highly sensitive person here). Kath, if you’re reading…I treasure you too! Great and challenging post Lucretia!
Blessings,
Bev xx
Elizabeth says
Bev –
I would say that one of your greatest strengths is the way that you reach and connect with people in such a compassionate manner. Through our interactions, I have seen the face of God.
Love and Blessings,
Elizabeth
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Elizabeth,
That was so sweet of you to say and I got a little teary eyed. Thanks for taking the time to share that. I think I will tuck your note away in my heart and pull it out when I’m not feeling so good about myself.
Love and blessings back to you,
Bev
Indiane says
Bev,
I have to admit that I look for your response immediately after reading the post! I feel like you open yourself completely to each one which is deeply personal yet you do it time and time again. Your replies are insightful and often help me understand and / or gain new perspective. When you don’t comment I always hope you’re ok! Bless you for sharing your walk with God!
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Thank you Indiane for your uplifting words. “Words” are my love language and you just spoke a whole lot of lovin’ to me here. I think that insight comes with time and continuing to open yourself to the Holy Spirit’s leading, but believe me, there are plenty of times in which I recklessly bulldoze forward, but God is so merciful. Thanks for caring about me when I don’t comment. Usually, I’m just fine, but my day just got off to a busy start.
Blessings,
Bev xx
Lucretia Berry says
Bev, Elizabeth, & Indiane,
What a beautiful expression of LOVE — truly seeing the essence of someone and allowing ourselves to be truly seen. Your exchange is thick with the presence of God — love lived!
Thank you!
Shalom to you!
LCB
Jill Waterman says
Wow, thank you God for this timely message. I’m getting ready to resign from a job I love and the best coworkers I’ve had. Have felt I’m being slowly pushed to the door by my boss and feeling misunderstood. It’s time to move on and see what Gods plan is for the next chapter in my life. Been memorizing Romans 5:1-5, 2 Cor 2:14-16 and finding peace in that truth. “I’ve been and will be by Gods Grace and expression of a generous and loving God.
Lucretia Berry says
YES!!! You are the expression of a generous and loving God! Regardless of where you are in life, there God is also, wholly in love with you.
Shalom to you as you walk through doors that have been open exclusively for you.
Thank you for reading.
LCB
Beth Williams says
Lucretia,
God blesses us with amazing friends who speak truth & love to us. He wants us to know how He sees us. Around Christmas last year I received nice cards from friends & co-workers. A few had lovely sentiments in them. I cried when I read them. I had only known one person 10 months. She thought that highly of me. I continually hear those great words at work from others. That in & of itself blesses me so much. One of my love languages is words of affirmation. Tell me why you like me & that I’m doing good. God’s way of affirming us in this otherwise hostile, unloving world where hatred is spread so easily. Glad you took the time to do the challenge. God loves to surprise us that way!
Blessings 🙂
Lucretia Berry says
You wrote: ‘God’s way of affirming us in this otherwise hostile, unloving world where hatred is spread so easily.
Especially in this context, its so important that we hear loving affirmations about about ourselves. We need to not get lost in the hustle and bustle of our commodity-driven society that places value on ‘doing’ more than ‘being.’
Thank you.
LCB
Kathleen Burkinshaw says
This is lovely and inspiring. Thank you so much. Your heart felt messages of faith in your posts always have perfect timing for my soul. God bless ❤
Lucretia Berry says
Kathleen,
I am honored that my/our words touch your soul. LOVE draws us in and allows us to touch each other.
I am grateful.
Shalom to you.
LCB
Krissy says
definetly…we are supposed to think of others better then ourselves and encourage one another ! in my life I would wait till the evening to ask friends , day time is so busy & after supper is better ! thanks for the message . my one friend gave me a necklace over Christmas that says warrior on it , with a card thanking me for standing so strong in her life with prayers all these years.
Lucretia Berry says
Krissy.
Thank you for being a WARRIOR in prayer for your friends. The world needs more friend like you!!!
Shalom to you.
LCB
Leslie Landiss says
Thank you! God has been blessing me with affirmations this week – quite unexpectedly. He is helping me to see myself as He and others see me, not the distorted view I have of myself. I am praying to be bold enough to step into this blessing, accept it with thanksgiving, and live it out.
Lucretia Berry says
You wrote: “He is helping me to see myself as He and others see me, not the distorted view I have of myself.”
Powerful!
May you have God’s eyes to see yourself and the world.
Amen.
Shalom to you.
LCB
Dawn Ferguson-Little says
I going to comment and say this. People that know me say. I am too caring for my own good. I know that myself. My late Mum I can see her point on this. This person is also passed away her Mum wanted me to be friends with her daughter. I know today if this person still had been alive. I be her friend. I think this person was a year or two older than me. You know by her she had not that really bad a disability of some kind. That never got to me. I really really like her. I always wanted to her Friend. But I can see were my late Mum was coming from. As she didn’t want me hanging around with her all the time. My late Mum in my time when alive was not saved. Unless she said the sinners prayer quitely too herself before she died. My late Mum was just projecting me as did not want me labeled thinking because I hung around with this person I had the same disability as her. Now I look back on it. As I was not saved then either. Only doing what Jesus would have me do. Want to be friends with someone people hardly anyone else wanted too know. Like Jesus was with people in the Bible no one else wanted. I so much like this young lady. If she been alive still today her and I saying my Mum not here today. Would be friends. As that the type of me. I like be with friend like that. I would not care what people of the world think. I would be her friend because I want too and because Jesus would want me too. Also my Husband says. If I see someone in Hospital like a person our Church Husband with cancer. This is how caring I am. He says Dawn your too caring for your own good. I been like that even before I was saved. That just me. I said saying the wife and Husband going through a rough patch with Husband going through chemo. They like a certain coffee shop. I said why don’t I go onine make them a special Christmas Card. Put their names on it. Then say here is a we gift for you both to enjoy sometime together. From Me and my Husband. We put in a voucher for their favorite coffee shop. Plus said we where which we are praying for them and the family. It made their day. They said we where too kind. Like the kids song I learnt at Sundy School Jesus Hands where Kinds hands doing good to all. We as Christian are all if we can be kind like this Winners in Jesus Eyes. Excellent Reading. I will sometime get people to ask me the question you have asked in the reading. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little xxxxx
Lucretia Berry says
Hi Dawn,
Today I just heard a teaching on how kindness makes you more intelligent. So I hope you will continue to center on kindness and shine your light brilliantly for the world to see.
Shalom to you
LCB
Becky Keife says
Lucretia, I love everything about this! I love not only what your closest people said about you (especially: a strong voice in the darkness, but it is not shouting with hate but holding steadfast with love and humility. YES!) but also that you took the time to sit with it, soak it in, believe it and celebrate it. You are her!! Even when the chaos and stress and mess is all you feel, that is not all of who you are. I’m not great at celebrating my in-progress winning either. This is making me pause and think. xx
Lucretia Berry says
Isn’t it interesting how we can’t see our process and progress as worthy of celebration? We must do better!
I think sometimes, I get a little too focused on meeting the goal and lose site of the journey and all that it gifts me!
Shalom to you!
Jas says
What a challenge you set Lucretia! I will text that message to a few people I know and see what happens.
Lucretia Berry says
Great! Let me know how it goes!!!
Shalom to you!
LCB
Sylvia Martinez says
I really enjoyed your post . I felt happy to read that you took it in and loved you❤.
Lucretia Berry says
Thank you!
Yes, their affirmations were so life-giving. I must continue to pause and see myself as God sees me!
I hope you will do the assignment as well!
Shalom
LCB
Julie Joiner says
What a beautiful challenge. Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing. I wrote the question down. I want to accept the challenge and send out the challenge. It reminds me of how often the story I tell myself about myself and my life is often in conflict with the story God tells about me. In the end our greatest hope is to focus on Him and refocus on Him. Blessings, Julie
Lucretia Berry says
“focus on Him and refocus on Him!’
I like that. When I am focused on Him I am charged and recharged by Him.
I’m glad to know you are taking the challenge!
Shalom
LCB