Help. I don’t know how I’m going to do this.
I shot off the 9-1-1 text to one of my closest friends. I’d just returned home from a work trip, and I had only thirty-six hours at home before leaving again for another. Laundry needed to be done, the suitcase re-packed, not to mention children, a husband, and a house in desperate need of TLC. And dinner — what in the world was I going to make for dinner?! Not only was my refrigerator empty, I had no emotional or physical reserves left.
I love what I do. I love being a wife and a mom, and I enjoy meeting new people through my work and ministry. Sharing stories and truth and then seeing the hope reflected off the faces of those who are suffering fill my heart with such life.
But that evening I’d reached the end of my strength, the limit of my ability. I felt myself crumbling. And even the thought of doing laundry or driving to the store made me want to curl up in a corner and disappear.
What kind of wife and mom and woman are you? Clearly you don’t know what you’re doing. You’re a wreck! Exhausted, weary, ready to give up. This proves what everyone already knows: you don’t have what it takes.
Overcome by these voices of inadequacy in my own head, I sent the phone text to someone I considered strong, a warrior. And if ever I needed a warrior to pull me out of this pit, it was now.
Within the hour, she replied. I expected a sermon, maybe a verse and three or four spiritual points.
Instead, she offered three words:
Breathe. Relinquish. Repeat.
Breathe: It’s the intake of oxygen, the in-and-out that happens twelve to twenty times a minute, twenty-four hours a day. Without thought or attention. Without effort.
Breathe. You’re alive, Michele. You’re living — a real flesh-and-blood life. Stop worrying for just one minute and savor it. Breathe.
Relinquish: It’s not about you. In fact, all this has very little to do with you. Relinquish, Michele. You didn’t know what life would look like when you filled your schedule a year ago. But HE did. Let Him handle it. Let Him do His job. He does it much better than you anyway. Just show up and see what He will do. Relinquish.
Repeat: It’s the opportunity to receive a fresh start today and new mercies in the morning. It’s the ability to inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale as many times as needed until the panic recedes, the weariness eases, and you can tackle this moment. No more, no less.
Repeat, Michele. You will have to do this again and again over the next month. But you don’t have to do handle all those days all today. That’s the beauty of one-day-at-a-time living. If you try to tackle more than that at once, you won’t survive. But you can do this moment, this day.
Breathe. Relinquish. Repeat.
Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? . . .
But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.
Luke 12:25, 31 (NIV)
If you’re at the end of your means, without the resources to do anymore, I have no squeaky-clean sermon points or vacuous platitudes. I give you, instead, the words that rescued me not that long ago, three words that gave me the breath and space to live one day, one inhale at a time:
Breathe. Relinquish. Repeat. As often as necessary.
If you try to tackle more than that at once, you won’t survive. But you can do this moment, this day. -@MicheleCushatt: Click To Tweet Leave a Comment
Michele,
I told myself that each morning I was going to thank God that I was alive and breathing as soon as I woke up. I started out well, but it didn’t take long before I was rolling out of bed and my mind was already on to the next task at hand. You’re right, I believe when our wheels are spinning and we’re getting nowhere, we need to simplify it. Take it back to basics. Breathe, Relinquish, Repeat. Jesus had a way of simplifying things. I think He’d be right in step with this advice.
Advent blessings,
Bev xx
Yes, yes, yes. Back to the basics. It will all be okay. He’s got us.
Timely… needed…wonderful word. Thank you!!!
I’m so glad it encouraged, Cindy.
Breathe. Relinquish. Repeat.
Oh how I needed to hear this tonight… a long hard day. Then a pot luck at my mother in laws for my daughters birthday. I didn’t get there till 6 and she was looking after two of my children. My husband was curt with me he’d been travelling all day and I was so tired and angry. All I wanted was understanding that I didn’t have it together tonight. Second week has ended on a full time fixed term role. I can’t do it all. I hate the girls bring in after school care most days.. I’m spent. No energy, tired and grumpy. I simply cannot do it all.
We need the money and God blesses me, us my family with this temporary three month job in purchasing. It has nothing to do with my masters but GOD answered my prayers and I am grateful.
Reaching and letting those voices of not good enough… I’ve heard them tonight and now I’ve come across your post…
Like I said I needed to hear these God felt words!!
Oh, friend. I feel your struggle. You’re not alone! And He’s with you. One day at a time …
Michele,
You do not know how badly I needed to read this today. I know the Lord was speaking to me through your message. I’m in a season of constant doing and need this refreshment of BREATH, RELINQUISH and REPEAT! I actually made your message into a PDF and printed this to frame and put at my desk so that I can read it each and every morning before starting to work. Thank you.
What a great idea! I think I’ll do the same. Thank you, Michelle.
Totally overwhelmed and in tears last night over how can I manage this health decline with my Dad that requires more and more of me, work enough hours to meet needs, and care for my own family. I didn’t know if I would be able to stop crying when yet another challenge, another thing to ‘take care of’, another thing to ‘figure out’ came up for Dad. I was just so tired. I guess I was feeling sorry for myself, as I know others would love to have my problems of an elderly Dad, work, and a family. Yet I know it’s good too, to remember that it’s not how much I’m carrying, but how long I’ve been carrying it that makes me so weary. Figuring out Complaining vs being real feels so complicated, and the lines around each seem different for everyone and often feels blurred for me. When I am real about the challenges, I always wonder if it’s crossed over into complaining and then tend to speak unkindly to myself about it and minimize the very real challenges.
Appreciate the simple reminder to Breathe, Relinquish, Repeat today.
Oh, Andrea. You have every reason to be exhausted. Caring for an aging parent is worthy, sacred work, but also so very difficult. Your tears are valid, friend. You’re not complaining. You’re being human. And that is okay. Our Father loves you so.
Andrea,
I have been in your shoes sweet one. Caring for elderly parents is no fun, but rewarding. The late night calls, running to hospitals-been there. Those tears are justified. No complaining just exhausted from it all. Praying for you dear sister. May God send you His shalom (true peace) & rest. Breathe, repeat & relinquish. Seek help if possible.
(((((((Hugs)))))))
Thank you for your encouragement ladies, it is deeply felt.
Your italicized self-talk here, complete with my correctly spelled name, is startlingly spot on!
Thank you for sharing your wise friend as well as your inner dialogue.
Hahaha. So glad we’re in this together! Thanks, friend.
Dear Michele, these are good reminders. I want to be a friend who encourages, but also the friend who brings dinner over or offers to go grocery shopping for the friend who’s frantically living her life. Sometimes practical help is needed. And I want to be part of that answer to prayer. Just sayin’. We need to be the answer to prayer for our friends when they need us. And we need to not be afraid to reach out for physical help. We are the hands that do God’s work.
I love your heart, Irene. Thank you for sharing.
“That’s the beauty of one-day-at-a-time living. If you try to tackle more than that at once, you won’t survive. But you can do this moment, this day.” Oh, friend. I’m tucking these words in my heart and will likely return to this post often. Thank you.
Michele,
My husband needs to hear these words. He is a worry wart. He constantly worries about tomorrow & the future. I tell him Matthew 6:34 “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” I say to him just do today right now. The rest will fall into place somehow. His parents have a big house full of stuff & he worries about getting rid of it-& has for years. His dad died recently & now there are plenty of people to help go through all the stuff. Why lose sleep over insignificant things? Talk to God about it. See what He has to say. My thoughts are like your friend’s: Don’t worry & lose sleep, pray about everything. Seek the wisdom of God. Breath, relinquish, repeat. Live life one day at a time! That is all God promised us.
Blessings 🙂