Each morning of my teen years started the same way. Before the sun rose, I’d pull on boots and trudge out to the barn, bleary-eyed and still in pajamas. Even now, I remember my family’s morning routine. After the animals were fed, I would make my way back into the house. Sitting at his spot in our kitchen, my dad would be eating the exact same breakfast each day while he watched the morning news: always toast, Oreos, chocolate milk, and The Today Show.
Twenty years later, my morning routine continues in much the same manner. Before the sun rises, my daughters and I slip on boots with our pajamas as we make our way to the barn. After packing lunches and in between bus pickups, I steal away ten minutes each morning to catch the news headlines during breakfast.
Keeping my familiar routine feels comfortable, like I’m holding a vigil to the past while quietly slipping into my day.
Even when my kids were little, I held tightly to my morning news. I’d watch while feeding babies or listen while coaxing toddlers. My television friends connected me to the world as they faithfully showed up in my kitchen each morning, keeping me informed and entertained.
Lately, my morning routine feels more like an obligation than a retreat. My television friends still offer news, but it’s too often laced with dissension. I miss the days when we could share news and opinions, offered with an equal measure of respect. The headlines feel more like the stuff of middle school lunchrooms instead of thoughtful conversations.
The harsh words and criticism make me sad. There’s no better word to describe how my soul feels as I watch people tear each other down day after day. Somehow the world seemed nicer when I was little.
We’ve become so divided, we can’t find our way back to center.
I wish we could blame the hateful words and harsh tones on “mean” people, but sadly the same attitudes have crept into our churches and homes. We’ve bought into the lie that there’s only one way to be, and people are either with us or against us.
In the midst of our fight to speak the truth and make disciples for Jesus, we’ve lost our way. Dear friends, sometimes we try too hard to defend our faith as if our words and actions alone can save a single soul. We’ve become so serious about the honor of our message that we neglect the people to whom we deliver our words.
Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.
Ephesians 4:15 (ESV)
The trap of being “right” is so alluring. We want to be good Christians — always speaking the truth and loving people without being too gracious, as if too much love could negate the value of God’s truth.
What would happen if we cared less about what the person in the next pew was thinking and more about what Jesus desires for our lives?
If Jesus was here with us, how would He respond to our everyday life, the people we encounter, and the latest viral post? In my heart, I believe He’d be the first to defend the misunderstood and to call out those feeding dissension. He’d be less committed to a party or denomination and more connected to the neighbor down the street. Jesus did the absolute best, regardless of what was best for Him.
The Apostle Paul calls us to “walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:1-3 ESV).
In the middle of our very messy faith, we must leave room for the messy faith of others. The closer I get to Jesus, the less certain I feel about the ideals I once held firm. He challenges me to expand my view of His greatness and love, to see the world through compassion.
The way we live, the words we say, and the grace we give are the ways this world sees Jesus. When we shout our beliefs and degrade our neighbors, the power of our message diminishes. The more I learn about Jesus, the less I really know. His love for people is unimaginably greater than I could ever fathom.
Dear Father, please don’t let my lack of understanding keep a single soul from knowing you.
There is no one whom Jesus will not welcome into His kingdom. No matter how right we think we are or how well we perform, only He can save us. The greatest gift we can offer this world is to give ourselves away, to lay aside our correctness in favor of showing people what it means to be loved.
Sit, listen, and allow space to disagree. The sacred gift of civility offers space for your soul to breathe and your faith to grow. Truth in love overcomes fear and brings us closer to each other and to Jesus.
Leave a Comment
Bren says
Thank you for your devotional today. I’m in a season of much change. Appreciate your sharing as I believe we must live out our convictions, unfortunately, I’m problem solving….in my home, not always aware of I’m gentle or kind. Yes, I have many medical reasons why I’m feeling stressed, but that doesn’t give me the right to be a grouch. I appreciate your prayers as my husband was hospitalized and diagnosed last year with a rare vasculitis disease and had 3 strokes a week later. By God’s grace he is still working and yet finances are very stretched.
My oldest son just moved to college but we are still waiting on some funds to come in for him.
God is good and we need to be encouraging to the ones near us, even when life is very difficult.
My two other boys are in a new school that seems promising. I’m grateful for this opportunity and pray I can choose to be kind instead of right! Peace comes when we lay it down and allow God to work. May we lay our burdens down and be filled with His presences today
May the Lord bless you as you reach out to this community.
Blessings, B
Kelly Beckley Shank says
Thank you so much for sharing Bren. I am so impressed by your courage and faith through these trials. Having the ability to see ways that God is present and you are able to still grow is a gift. Bless you during this time. I am excited for the ways God will use your story.
Michele Morin says
Smiling over your dad’s breakfast of champions.
Lord, deliver us from the tendency to make an idol of being “right.”
Thank you, Kelly, for encouragement to carve out space for blessed disagreement!
Kelly Shank says
Bless you Michele. You are right. All too often we desire to be right, or prove our rightness. Thanks for your reply. As a side note, I do believe my dad has finally changed to a more nutritious breakfast.
Bren says
Thank you for your devotional today. I’m in a season of much change.!! Appreciate your sharing as I believe we must live out our convictions, unfortunately, I’m problem solving….in my home, not always aware of The need to be gentle or kind. Yes, I have many medical reasons why I’m feeling stressed, but that doesn’t give me the right to be a grouch. I appreciate your prayers as my husband was hospitalized and diagnosed last year with a rare vasculitis disease and had 3 strokes a week later. By God’s grace he is still working and yet finances are very stretched.
My oldest son just moved to college but we are still waiting on some funds to come in for him.
God is good and we need to be encouraging to the ones near us, even when life is very difficult.
My two other boys are in a new school that seems promising.
My younger one has aspergers and trusting the Lord each moment. I’m grateful for this opportunity and pray I can choose to be kind instead of right!
Children often do what we do! So having a panic frazZled mom won’t help them at all!
I’ve committed to get in God’s Word every morning so I can put on my spiritual glasses each day!
Peace will only come when we lay it down and allow God to work. May we lay our burdens down and be filled with His presence today
May the Lord bless you as you reach out to this community.
Blessings, B
Janine says
Dearest Kelly:
Good morning – although you have been up for hours if you have those daily barn chores. Lol. I love your many perspectives littered throughout your devotional.
It is interesting about how you view the news now – and almost conclude that people were “nicer when you were little”. I think that the respect and the gentle and especially, the complete research in presenting the news has been abandoned. Still, the best decision I made when my children were little was to turn off the N3 – what I referred to as the “nightly negative news”. I never turned away from that. As I did surmise that the news was just a daily delivery into destructive drudgery – only the telling of horrible and horrendous – and never balanced or highlighting any good. But there is good in the world. We know and see this and Christ invites our lives to be “hope of His glory”
The daily news heightened fear and aroused a negative emotional experience. I tried to focus and direct to “good lovely wonderful amazing worthy”
Now, as my children are teens, I find myself intentionally turning off TV sets put up in many public space and place – we are inundated with technology in what used to be quiet corridors of life…like restaurants, Doctor or hospital waiting rooms, even dentist chairs. I intentionally turn them off to disengage from negative news that causes daily fear or suspicion. I usually note that it is always the same station that gives a 10 minute looping overview of all the negative happenings everywhere and around the city. I am grateFULL that I hear God’s Spirit saying “turn your feet away from evil” – in order to turn our feet away, we have to turn our face away too. It is not ignorance but wise judgement when we know or realize that the news wants to report the chaos : and we examine what that does to our daily psyche.
I really love what you said here:
“In the middle of our very messy faith, we must leave room for the messy faith of others. The closer I get to Jesus, the less certain I feel about the ideals I once held firm. He challenges me to expand my view of His greatness and love, to see the world through compassion.”
I realize more and more that life indeed is messy – and our kids are relating and functioning in the messy world where so many don’t have faith – or their faith is being contorted or compromised or polluted by others modifying it. It is a very challenging world in which to live out our faith vibrantly.
But thankfully, we don’t have to succumb to any fears or shock or anger. We can bring that to Jesus and ask Him to trade clarity and mental peace or even a dose of healthy courage.
As you were saying, we can be “compassionate and gentle” but of course, it requires a daily surrendering to the Spirit of God, abiding in Him so we can get clothed in the beautiful and loving relational garments He knows we will need for the exact situations we will face that day – which, again, He already knows.
Surrendering daily (and some days minutes-by-minute) to the Spirit of God and trusting Him to guide and guard me in the messy relational realities of life…brings me Peace I cannot fathom. But I would definitely give up coffee if I knew I would lose this source of Power that I need that doesn’t come from my own ability.
And I love coffee!!
I am so grateFULL that this new surrendering that has brought forth surprising doses of relational strength. Living in the world but not being of it – and being surrounded and protected by and through to the Spirit of God.
Where once there was angst and anxiety when relational discord rang a nasty tune, in its place, I am ever-experiencing a gentle whisper of Pervasice Peace that directs me toward acceptance or generosity of extending grace.
It is true that “a mind governed by (and through) the Spirit brings life and Peace” . And it is the Peace that the world can definitely never give us – even if we watch a carefully crafted television piece that does bring joy, it is fleeting. That JOY is for a moment but our Living and Loving Lord gives us the lasting Perpetual Peace in abundance that surpasses understanding.
What a gift we are given. What Grace.
I will take a dose of that on any given day and wish you a slathering of that Gentle Peace (as we live in a harsh world with relational chaos) that we can only get from the Spirit guiding us on how to handle our particular and delicate life circumstances and atmosphere in …His Great Grace.
So grateFULL that God, our Father is the Source – that leads us to mind and heart stillness – even in chaos.
What a blessing to share with you on Saturday morning. And may the God of HOPE fill all reading here with “all JOY and PEACE in believing, that we will abound in Hope through the the Power of the Holy Spirit”.
Love and blessings to all.
Kelly Beckley Shank says
Janine, thank you so much for your thoughtful response. The way we choose to engage the world around us greatly affected by the perspective we use to fill ourselves. Choosing God and truth can definitely guide us best to engage the world effectively
Kathy Cheek says
Civility is definitely on the decline, and I pray we find our way back so that our messaging does reflect the love of Jesus, the most important message of all!
Kelly Beckley Shank says
You are so correct Kathy. In our world is the most important message we can relay.
Sue says
Beautifully written. I was recently challenged on my Facebook page for NOT being more willing to insult and degrade people with whom I disagree. Thank you for helping me understand and feel better about my choice.
Kelly Beckley Shank says
Having the courage to be gracious and loving is sometimes the hardest choice. I applaud your bravery to live out your faith through your restraint.
Beth Williams says
Kelly,
You hit the nail on the head with this post!! This wold & the country has lost its civility. We find it easy to say “mean, ugly” words behind our phones or computers. We don’t care or realize the impact our words have on the receivers. The world watches our actions & listen to our words. Thus we are losing our witness. We aren’t shining God’s light & showing His love to this world as commanded by God. You asked how Jesus would respond to our world today? He wouldn’t care what you wore to church, but would be happy to have you there hearing the message. Jesus would spend time with the less fortunate & unloved. He would shower them all with His grace & mercy keeping his comments to Himself. He would speak love into this world-just what we desperately need. My prayer is that we would tame our tongues, think before speaking or writing & start showing civility & love to this world.
Blessings 🙂
Kelly Beckley Shank says
Beth, I will join you in the prayer that we tame our tongues and strengthen our witness. Too many times, I need to say this prayer for myself before I damage my witness. Bless you.
Summer Rae says
Miss Kelly!
Thank you for sharing your heart and letting GOD use you! This encourages me to remain steadfast in constantly trying to steer my heart to be more like His. I am walking away from this post with a new and better understanding of “walking in a manner worthy of what I have been called to.” Oh man that one hit me… thank You God for Your unending grace and another day to do better. He is so good! I pray you have a blessed day. (:
This side of Heaven,
Summer