Life can be hard. And beautiful. And messy. And exciting. And hard. Over the last year, there has been quite a bit of hard. I have been to four funerals. Two were peers with small kids. One was a young woman I’ve known since she was in junior high, and one was a sweet child. At each event, there was this overwhelming feeling they were gone too soon. Even though we all know that death is a natural part of life, it is such a difficult reminder of how short this life actually is. Our life is but a vapor; it’s here one minute and gone the next.
Each person I’ve lost had so much life still yet to be lived. They were all dearly and deeply loved. And yet it was their time to enter into eternity, their time to live in the fullness of God’s presence and light. I have grieved and cried and have even felt a bit hopeless.
But on a recent road trip I took with some friends, we saw a triple rainbow, and it was utterly breathtaking and awe-inspiring. I had never seen such a sight before, and I was overcome with a deep sense of peace. In that moment, the Lord reminded me of who He is at all times and in all circumstances, and that simple yet powerful truth lifted the heaviness I had been carrying.
Since God is a good Father, He wants nothing more than to be good to us. The very nature of His heart is goodness. Tragedy and trials happen in this life because we live in a broken world, but Christ tells us to take heart. He has overcome the world. He has overcome tribulation, heartache, grief, pain, and even death. For Him, death is only the beginning. For us in Christ, death is not “goodbye;” it is only “until then.” And because of that we have hope.
Rest in God alone, my soul,
for my hope comes from Him.
Psalm 62:5 (CSB)
God is the giver and sustainer of hope. He is the DNA and foundation of hope. He gives it freely and upholds it purposefully. On the mountain tops and in the valleys of life, He is our source of joy and peace, mercy and comfort. He is with us in our losses, and He carries us through them. He works things out for our good and for His glory.
Our souls were made for rest, not worry. I’m sure you know as well as I do this is easier said than done. I’m learning that rest doesn’t come from my circumstances being perfect. It comes from the character of God and my identity in Him. And sometimes we have to talk to our souls and tell it to rest when the circumstances around us are screaming the opposite.
Hope and healing come straight from the heart of the Father, but often times He uses His sons and daughters to usher it to us. After the funeral of my sweet former youth girl, her dad hugged me and thanked me for being in her life. It was my joy to do so. I thought about how we were designed to function as a whole, the Body of Christ. We truly are meant to live as a family of God. We rejoice with those who rejoice, and we mourn with those who mourn.
I don’t know how well any of us would do without community. I have wondered a lot over the last year how anyone grieves without Christ. We can grieve with hope that we will see our loved ones again, and we can offer that hope to those who are grieving around us when they forget.
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up as you are already doing.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 (CSB)
There is strength and power in the Body coming together to offer hope and encouragement. It delights the Father’s heart when we do so. He honors it and equips us to walk the long road ahead with others.
Hope and healing are God’s sweet gift to us, and it is our generous gift to the world.
Michele Morin says
We do need each other–especially in the sadness of loss. Thank you for your opening lament, for life truly is a vapor, and fleeting, and there are seasons in which we just stand at the door and try to keep track of who’s still here and who has gone. And while we do not grieve “as others who have no hope,” we do grieve. I’m glad for these words by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, because he reassures me that it’s okay for us to need each other in the body of Christ:
“The Christian needs another Christian who speaks God’s Word to Him. He needs him again and again when he becomes uncertain or discouraged, for by himself he cannot help himself.”
Karina Allen says
Amen Michele! Thank you for sharing!!!
Jenny K says
Thank you for sharing this, I am saving it to come back to. I just memorized Romans 15:13 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” I turned it into a prayer “Dear God of hope, fill me with all joy and peace as I trust in you, so that I can overflow with hope through the power of your Holy Spirit.” Saying that prayer for you too!
Karina Allen says
Thank you Jenny! Blessings to you!!!
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Karina,
I, too, wonder how anyone grieves without Christ? Whether it’s death or trials, without Christ there would be no hope, and without hope, how does one press on? I/we NEED Him. We need Him desperately. You certainly have experienced a lot of loss and if you’re like me you wonder, what next, Lord? Thankfully, like you so beautifully pointed out: “I’m learning that rest doesn’t come from my circumstances being perfect. It comes from the character of God and my identity in Him.” Our security and identity doesn’t come in things being perfect or us being in control of everything (that is a myth), but resting in the identity that God gives us. So much good truth here Karina. Praying God’s peace and comfort over you.
Blessings,
Bev xx
Karina Allen says
Thank you Bev!!! So good!!!
Shauna says
Each time I read a blog post, I scroll the comments to see what you say. You are an inspiration and I find much to reflect on from your posts. Thank you Bev for your strong participation here!
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Shauna,
That’s awfully sweet of you to say. I have been coming here for a long time – it’s a comfortable place to be encouraged and to encourage others. I know what God has been teaching me throughout life and if I can share a bit of that perhaps it will help others to cling to Him like I have learned to do. Love your music theme. I play piano and my son’s a drummer. My dad played violin. Your instrument??
Blessings sweet sister,
Bev xo
Christina Casares says
I have never known this all to be more true than over the last 14 months. One of my youth group girls, whose family I have grown very close to over the past several years, lost her 17 year old brother last June in a tragic accident. There were a lot of questions that were asked following Sam’s death but, his mom would be quick to share how well loved they’ve been by family and friends. I’m so sorry for your losses, Karina, but thank you for sharing this.
Karina Allen says
Thank you Christina! May the Lord comfort all of you who loved Sam! May His peace overwhelm!!!
Beth Williams says
Karina,
I’ve been praying for you for a while now. Death is not an easy pill to swallow. Especially when they go so young. May God send His peace & comfort to your soul. I’ve learned over the years that God’s ways are higher than ours. My elderly neighbor just lost her last & youngest son to cancer. Her other son died in 2014. She only has a granddaughter to care for her & a sister in nursing home. So sad. Immediately I got some food together for her, sat with her & let her talk. Yesterday I got more food for her. Her granddaughter is going to FL to get married next month. Death is much harder on those who don’t have good neighbors or a church family to lean on. We as the church of Christ need to reach out to those grieving. You don’t have to say anything. Just sit with them & be a shoulder they can cry on. Christians have hope. We know we will see our loved ones
again. Non-believers don’t have that hope & we should try to share that with them. I pray we can all start sharing our hope with others & shower them with the love of God.
Blessings 🙂
Tammy Gonzalez says
Bless you for being God’s presence in the life of your elderly neighbor.
Karina Allen says
That’s so good Beth! May the Lord honor your kindness and faithfulness.
Penny says
Karina,
I’m deeply sorry for your losses, that’s a lot for you to overcome. Grief is such a personal thing and everyone copes differently but I can’t imagine trying to cope without the Lord.
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.Psalm 147:3
Have a blessed day all,
Penny
Karina Allen says
Thank you for sharing Penny! Thank you for your encouragement!!!
Laurie B. says
Thank you.
Karina Allen says
Blessings to you Laurie!
Karen Carter says
This reminds me of the song Hills and Valleys by Tauren Wells.
Karina Allen says
I love that song Karen!
Kathy Cheek, Devotions from the Heart says
For those who are currently going through grief, I highly recommend GriefShare
They have support groups that meet in churches across the country, or you can just sign up for their daily email of encouragement.
http://www.griefshare.org
There is hope, because God is our hope!
Karina Allen says
That’s awesome! Thank you Kathy!!!!
Gail Noe says
This week, the Lord had my mouth speak a hard truth to a family member. This person is so angry & hurt at his son, that he is destroying the relationship. Out of my mouth came, if you don’t stop this place of anger you are in, you will lose your son. Thankfully, at that moment, he was able to receive the truth. Thank you Jesus
Vickie says
Thank you, Karina and thank God for leading you to write this. I have a funeral tomorrow – my dear friend since 1957 when we were children. This year, two more friends and two family members have gone Home. I do know that “when we all get together” in God’s Kingdom of Heaven, the joy will be greater than we can begin to imagine.
Peace…John 14:27
Faith…Hebrews 11:1
Vickie says
Thank you, Karina and thank God for leading you to write this. I have a funeral tomorrow – my dear friend since 1957 when we were children. This year, two more friends and two family members have gone Home. I do know that “when we all get together” in God’s Kingdom of Heaven, the joy will be greater than we can begin to imagine.
Peace…John 14:27
Yeng says
Karina,
What timing. My sweet father went home Friday morning. Everything is still close – the knowledge of him being gone, calling out to him with the response of silence, waves of sorrow and long nights & (sometimes, longer) moments. I miss him.
In those moments, I meet with the Heavenly Father – but I’m ashamed to say, I can’t hear what he’s saying, I just keep meeting Him in silence where I’ve found peace and rest. The girl who was so strong is gone and I need Him every hour.
Loss is wearisome and tough on the fragile human heart. Thank you for speaking hope and encouragement into these heavy hours.
Trusting in Him,
Yeng
Maylee says
Grief…it is a hard thing to deal with. Never had I imagine that I too will be feeling this grief so deeply in my soul. My father in law passed away a year ago from cancer and that was so sudden, took our whole family by surprised as he was always fit and healthy. We were still mourning his loss when 6 months later, my cousin, my best friend of over 40 years dies unexpectedly due to an brain aneurysm. That was a devasting blow. She was only 46 years old. Yes so much life to live and we had so much great plans when we will become little old ladies. In a blink of an eye, I was alone for the first time ever. Although I had my husband, my kids, the one person whom I can go to for encouragement and laughter was gone. Boy did I ever pleaded with God to breathe life back into her lifeless body. It has been 7 long months since her passing in January. I still don’t know how I will ever get by without her and memories of her are everywhere considering we lived practicality at each other’s house every weekend. I know healing will come and yes there are days, I find comfort at times knowing she is in a better place. It is in those selfish moments that I need to remind myself that one day, I will see her again and I will trust in God to get me through this heavy time. Thank you for sharing and reminding me of God’s love.
Becky Keife says
There is strength and power in the Body coming together to offer hope and encouragement. — Yes! I’m so glad you have experienced that and have been part of offering it to others. xx
Tara says
Karina, thank you so much for this post. I’ve been weary. Since last October, I’ve lost five friends under the age of 40! This post was such a blessing to me.
Melinda Lunger says
Asking for prayers for my friend Rebecca whose husband Charlie died of a heart attack on July 16 of this year.
Averal says
Dear Mel,
I pray for you to be able to sit beside your friend Rebecca through her grief journey and that you have the strength and courage to walk beside her. I pray for Rebecca and her family as they remember the love and times they had together and also for strength for Rebecca.
My husband died just over three years ago and to have the gift of a friend walking beside you is tremendous. Its a very lonely journey.