Heather Kernick Carr
About the Author

Heather’s Bible study Living the Promise in the Pain helps women trust God through hard times.

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  1. Heather,
    My heart aches for your little one – too young to bear so much grief. But, I have a vision of her grief molding a heart that is filled with compassion for others. She will be able to empathize and sympathize because she has been there. She will lace her fingers through those of others who are grieving and she will be the hands and feet of Jesus to them. She will have the confidence in knowing that no matter what happens in life, that God is ALWAYS faithful and sees us through our trials. She will know that the waters will not sweep over her because the ever lasting arms have got her. These are all gifts born of pain and suffering….examples of how God brings beauty from ashes and good from what others meant for harm. I see a beautiful woman of God who has been coached by her loving momma to cast her cares on God and continue to praise Him through the pain. She will be a blessing to many. Thank you so much for sharing….and God bless you and your little one.
    Bev xx

    • Heather, what a beautiful daughter you have. Thanks for sharing this story. Bev, what a thoughtful reply and I can’t agree with you more. Such beautiful words from both Heather and Bev.

      Blessings to all…

    • Thank you for your encouraging words, Bev. I know The Lord will use these difficult times, as well as the good for His glory. Have a blessed Christmas.

  2. Wow…you have captured the feelings of grief using words. Thank you for sharing your heart. As one experiencing the struggle to breathe due to grief this Christmas, I am touched by your story.
    Blessings to you and your young one.
    God Is good. All the time. Even when it’s hard.

    • Yes, He is Val. He has shown this to be true over and over in my life. I pray you will be filled with His peace and strength. Much love.

  3. Oh, Heather, I’m so sorry that you and your daughter have to walk the sad path of grief.
    But you are doing it so beautifully. That idea of an ABC prayer is golden — and what a great way to pull the focus back where it belongs.

    • Thank you, Michelle. We love the abc prayer. I first heard of it in a message given by Max Lucado. It works beautifully when one of our little ones is afraid at night too. 🙂

  4. Heather,
    I’m so sorry that your daughter and your family are journeying through grief. I want to send a hug and a thank you for sharing this today. I’m hurting and gasping for air. It’s the second Christmas without my mom, her birthday is also in December, and the second anniv of her arrival into heaven is in January. I haven’t slept a full night since December began. I’m grateful for a lot- but there is a deep ache. Your words touched me today and gave a glimpse of hope.

  5. We just lost our sweet daughter in law suddenly in August….my son and my precious 12yr old grandson are hurting so. Thank you for these words today….God’s loving arms will sustain us. He is so faithful!

  6. Thank you,Heather, for your beautifully written words. I can relate so well and understand the pain of grief that literally takes your breath away with its intensity. Today marks a decade of Christmases without my mom. Christmas was such a special time of year for her, rich with meaning and tradition. Over the years I’ve carried on many of the traditions and at Christmas time more than ever, I feel such a closeness to her, and can almost hear her laughter and see her sparkling eyes.
    I’m grateful for the memories that hold her near. Grateful that I had such a wonderful mom to love and who loved me! And grateful that she is and always will be a huge part of my life!!
    Blessings to you and your family, Heather. As you navigate through this season and griefs emotional roller coaster, may the peace and love of Christ be your closest companions. May your hearts be filled with hope knowing that He will turn your mourning into joy and make beauty out of the ashes. Oh, has He done so for me! Hugs ❤️

  7. Heather, praying for you and your kind hearted daughter. May God bless you both with comfort and peace. Amen ❤

  8. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. It will be two years for us on Jan 23rd. I to spend a lot of time with our daughter (4years old) walking these waters of grief. She misses her big brother so very much. I love your ABC prayer. Something I will start too. What better place to be than a thankful one…even…especially when we are broken.

    • Oh Iris, my heart breaks for your loss. I can’t take credit for the abc prayer. I saw Max Lucado use it in a message once, but I can testify that it works. It works when your heart is broken, when you’re afraid or angry. And it has been a source of great comfort and healing for our children. I hope your family will experience the same. I am praying for you and your sweet little girl. ((Hugs))

  9. Heather, I don’t know what your pain is but I felt it deeply. Our family has been through much tumultuous grief over the years – and it is exactly as you describe ‘choking to death’.
    You are a living example of 2 Corinthians 1.3-4 and one day your daughter will be also.
    Heartfelt prayers for you this Christmas season. xo

    • Thank you so much, Susan. I truly never knew how much a broken heart could hurt until I lived through deep grief, yet I’ve seen God transform that pain into a blessing for others. God is good, even when it’s hard and we don’t understand. Much love.

  10. Beautifully written, and a testament to the fact that He is Emmanuel, God with us, however unimaginable our grief. Thanks for sharing.

  11. Thank you for this encouragement. I could never find the right words to describe my feelings of grief until I read this. This is how I feel about my situation. It is a grieving process and I know God is with me and will guide me through it.

    • I’m so glad you found this encouraging, Felicia. It was my hope and prayer as I wrote these words that God would use our heartache to encourage others. Thanks for sharing, it means a lot to me. I’ll be praying for you.

  12. Thank you for sharing. 2016 has been a hard year with the passing of my father, my husband’s step-father, other deaths of those we’ve known, my 13 year old’s struggle with depression, and other trials. It has been a hard year, but God has seen us through. Looking forward to what He will do in 2017.

    • Theresa, I’m sorry this has been a hard year for you and your family. Depression is a difficult battle indeed. I am praying for you and your child. May 2017 be a year of peace and hope for you all. ((Hugs))

  13. Heather,
    Thank-you for your thoughtfully written post. I’m sorry your daughter is going through this at such a young age. Despite her pain you sound like a real blessing to her. I’ll pray that pain eases away.
    Blessings to you both,


  14. Heather, you captured the part of grief that we can’t control and the part of healing that helps most: being with. Such great honesty and tenderness in your words. Thank you for sharing your story, dear friend!

    • Thank you, Christina. I’m so thankful that we are never on this journey alone. Your encouragement means a lot to me. Much love. ❤️

  15. Heather, may our Lord be praised for this beautiful sharing of the heart. I am so sorry that your daughter and you have to journey through this time of grief. Yet there is such wisdom already being grown from this in seeing how God uses this for good, molding this broken into new life within you both in compassion, mercy, and love so that you may comfort with the comfort you have been given. What blessed grace to hear this comfort here, to see your humility, and His healing 🙂 May our Lord continue to bring His great love and healing to you both this Christmas 🙂

    • Thank you, An. He is worthy to be praised! I never cease to be amazed by the depths of His love and compassion. In our darkest moments, He is by our side. May the Lord bless you greatly today and always.

  16. As i lay another night staring at the ceiling in grief too deep for words, i grabbed my cell to read these words: Deep pain is a sign you have deeply loved. AND BEEN LOVED I might add. This is the 3rd Christmas without my only 2 sons. My heart continues to bleed as if poked full of holes with a knife. God’s increduble grace soothes me thru another night. Thank you God for your everlasting love.

    • So true, Nan. We are deeply loved. I’m so sorry you have suffered such a deep and painful loss. I’m praying God will wrap you in His comforting arms even at this moment. ((Hugs))

  17. Heather
    I almost didn’t read this story as I have a hard enough time during Christmas. But I did and I just had to say thank you. So many of us see all the joy around us and it can make this time of year that much harder. The grief and sorrow can be so deep it’s hard not to be angry at others joy. Your statement deep grief means deep love is one of the most comforting I’ve heard in a long time. Thank you and may God bless you and bring your daughter peace.


    • Thank you for taking the time to read my story and share your thoughts, Barb. I’m so glad you found it comforting. The hurt and loss in our lives seems to amplify at Christmas time for me. It helps to know that I’m not alone in my struggle. I’m praying God will bring you peace and hope this holiday season. Much love. ❤️

  18. Heather,

    So sorry your little one has to bear such grief. God will use that grief and heal her. Over time the pain and grief will ease. God never promised us we wouldn’t have trials & troubles down here. But the trial will help her to empathize with others. She will be able to help others going through such trials. She has a good momma who knows how to sit quietly with her daughter and just let her cry. Now she will be able to do the same with her friends.

    Have a blessed Christmas! 🙂

    • Thank you , Beth. You’re words are very encouraging to this momma’s heart. My daughter is a tender-hearted soul and I am so thankful to have her in my life. Many blessings to you and your family this holiday season.

  19. You have stated beautifully what grief can do to you and be like – during the holidays. It can sneak up on you at the most in opportune times…it doesn’t care a whit if you’re supposed to be fa-la-la happy. It can rise up over you like some kind of rogue wave on an open sea. I absolutely have to cling to God’s promises when those times come along and threaten to drag me under. May God bless you.