About the Author

Tammie Haveman believes that average women can change the world by steadfastly serving God in the everyday. She encourages her fellow moms, sisters, wives and friends to love like Jesus using the gifts, talents, and resources right in front of them.

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Comments

  1. Thank you for sharing your testimony. It was exactly what I needed. May God continue to bless you

  2. Tammie,
    Thank you for sharing your amazing story of how God can do radical works in our hearts. It encourages me because right now I have a very strained relationship with my adult daughter. I know that she is trying to process some hurts (one of which is that she is still single at 28 while all her close friends are married and having children). Anyway, I have become the target for all of her pain and hurt. I’ve had to distance myself from her because of her behavior. I love my daughter with all my heart and have tried to be the best mother I could be with God’s guidance. I know she is His and your story encourages me that God is in the business of radical heart transformation – which is what is needed here. I continue to lift my daughter in prayer all the time…so glad your story had a happy ending!!
    Blessings,
    Bev

    • Thank you for your kind words. I am so glad you were encouraged by my story and pray others will open themselves up to God’s heart changing ways as well. 🙂

  3. Tammie…thank you for your words, your honesty, and the hope that things can be better between my 16 year old daughter and me. Your story is her story. The constant barrage of anger and negativity towards me grieves my heart and is exhausting to my soul. Your story brought comfort and fresh hope. Thank you so much.

    • I am so glad it brought you hope. And you have every reason to remain hopeful because we know God is in the business of restoration. It is such a hard age for everyone. But God continues to work even in the tension.

  4. Thank you for sharing how powerful our God is, and how merciful, to change our lives for His best!

    • Tammy I’m 62 years old and through all the abuse of childhood, my mother’s suicide, abusive relationships, the murder of my son and addictions, which God delivered me from 20 years ago, I still have a strained relationship with my 43 year old daughter. The hurt is sometimes unbearable but I have tried everything to mend our relationship to no avail. I too have finally had to say enough is enough. I don’t deserve to be cursed at and treated like a dog. But I to have noticed I can have some pretty harsh attitudes and although it isn’t anyone’s fault what has happened, I don’t understand why God has not answered my prayer like He did yours. I’m so glad you were changed, but sometimes I wonder if it’s because like the pastors say if you have to take medicine for depression and PTSD, then I don’t know Jesus. At one time I thought I did, and I’m trying to hold down to Him all I have got, I just want him to make my heart and mind better. God bless you.

      • Did I read it correctly that your pastors told u that if you took medication for depression and pts you don”t know Jesus? That is a very harsh thing for them to say. Praying for you & for God to give you peace. Many f God’s people struggle with mental issues.

      • Cherlyn I am so sorry. Mental illness did not play into our particular relationship and would have made an impossible situation even harder to overcome. PTSD is very real I do not believe mental illness or its treatment should be used as a litmus test as to whether a believer knows Jesus – no more so than any other illness. I will pray for healing and restoration in your family. God is not finished writing your story.

      • Cherlyn,

        Your pastors are dead wrong! Taking medications for mental illness is right in God’s eyes. He gave us the brains to become doctors and have medications. Praying for you. May God bring healing both to your soul and your family! I pray for peace between you and your daughter!

        Blessings 🙂

  5. Tammy, this speaks to my heart this morning. As a suddenly single mom and widow, I’m navigating kids through deep grief. We’ve not had sparring and we are working hard to offer much grace, but this gives me a tiny window into a teen’s broken heart. Blessings to you.

    • I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that as you and your kids navigate deep grief and find your footing in the new normal, that God will shower your family with His great peace.

    • Lisa,

      Sweet sister I’m praying for you and your children now! May God bring peace and contentment to your souls. I pray for God to surround you with His love, grace and mercy and help you through this time!

      (((((((hugs)))))))

  6. Thank you this post, it is brutally honest, and encouraging. My family has a similar problem trying to help family members. I know my mother is the only one capable of helping out but it is taking a toll, I pray wisdom for her.

    • I love that you are lifting your mom in prayers for wisdom. Looking back it took wisdom on my mom’s part to say “enough” of my behavior. The last thing she wanted was to send me so far away. But God had a better plan for both of us and He will work in your family as well.

  7. I share much of this pain, and have many faults too. I was a young mother healing from my own hurts, which flowed right into my childrens lives, as I tried to sort it out.

    Today, I am a long-time Christ follower, but my adult children are angry, one more than the rest, and don’t want me to have a part in my grandchildrens lives. She is mean and hateful, and hasn’t spoken to me in nearly a year. I have given it to God, and pray for her peace, along with her brother’s, daily.

    May God heal and restore my family.

  8. WOW, have absolutely no clue how much I needed to read some of your inspirational-heartfelt-and guiding words today as I sit and contemplate so many things in my life! THANK YOU IS NOT ENOUGH THAT I CAN SAY.

  9. My story is very different. I was full of anger, bitterness, and resentment because my boyfriend refused to marry me although he has been upfront about this trurh from the beginning. Nonetheless, I divorced my husband of 23 years to be with him. A year and a half later, I acted just like you did to your mother. I failed to see how much my boyfriend had given to make me a part of his life. I had to say I was sorry and pray for a way to restore our relationship. I’m still in that process. Thank you for sharing your story.

  10. Your testimony is so encouraging. My son has gone to this place of anger and resentment since his father died and he is in his 40s. He will not say why, “you should know” is his reply. Nor will he explain what he considers that I did to cause his anger, but he rejects my attempts to apologise and make peace. So I am praying God will give him a willingness to have his heart changed, as he has turned away from God at present. I pray that we can be reconciled. God did an amazing thing in your life. It gives me renewed hope that He can work in my situation too.

  11. Thank you for your transparency in sharing. What a blessing your post is. (You’re also an excellent writer.)

  12. Tammy,

    Great story of God’s working in our lives. Thanks for sharing such a personal story! You are giving others encouragement. God does say that if we pray and turn from our wicked ways He will forgive our sins and heal our land. He wants changed hearts and lives-we just have to come and ask! We have not because we ask not!

    Blessings 🙂