About the Author

Stephanie Bryant is the co-founder of @incourage and a podcaster at the #JesusLedAdventurePodcast. She owns a Marketing & Business Coaching company. She is passionate about guiding you to your promised land and personal brand therapy. She enjoys spending her days with her husband and their miracle daughter, Gabrielle, on #BryantFamilyFarm....

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  1. Stephanie,
    How true that if we hear the lies long enough we begin to believe them ourselves. I was in a 25+ year marriage that was filled with verbal and emotional abuse. After you hear that so long you begin to internalize it and believe that it’s true. Nothing could be farther from the truth. If the lies that we hear from others or the enemy don’t line up with the Truth found in scripture (We are fearfully and wonderfully made…the Lord delights in us…we are His treasure…) then we need to throw the lies out and remove ourselves from the toxic situation. Believe me I’m not an advocate of divorce, but if after counseling, one partner in the marriage is still “plucking his partner raw” and ceases to stop, God does not want us to be victims of abuse. Seek help and don’t stay stuck. I know this is an extreme case of being picked on, but whether it’s being bullied or being abused…this is not God’s will for His precious children. Thanks for this poignant and much needed post…Glad Fancy is doing well again 🙂
    Blessings,
    Bev

    • Thank you for this post Stephanie it resonates with us all I am sure. It’s sad to hear what happened to Fancy and you were able to nurse her back to optimal health and she is back in the flock, it so translates to a human situation for sure! People and the enemy can be nasty, your right we need to be a reflection of Gods goodness on earth and help others who are struggling, stamp out bullying and gossip and live our lives as an example of how to treat people.

      Also Bev it is good to see you back I had been thinking of you when I didn’t see your comments on other posts the last couple of nights. You are normally up early and commenting first by the time I log on before bed here in NZ ☺️

    • Bev.
      I know what you are talking about. I was married for almost 20 years. The verbal abuse started about year 2. I went to my minister and to a Christian marriage counselor, he wouldn’t go after the first visit. “I don’t have a problem, it’s ALL you.”
      After many single visits to the Dr. and my minister, it was decided that we should separate. I don’t believe in divorce but with the threats both verbal and then physical, I left and got a divorce. It was hard, and but I survived. Almost 20 years later I met and married a wonderful Christian man. We have been married for a little over 2 years. (First husband passed away 6 years ago still verbally abusive.)
      Stephanie, Thank you for your lesson today.
      Mary

      • Mary,
        So glad to hear that your story continues on such a positive note!! I’ve heard it said that hurt people, hurt people…I think that abusive people fall into that category. I have been happily remarried to a wonderful Christian man for two and a half years who cherishes me and treats me as God would have me be treated. No more buying into the bully’s lies (be the bully a person on the enemy of our souls).
        Blessings to you and sharing in your joy,
        Bev

      • Mary,

        Glad your story turned out well! Abuse should never be tolerated. God doesn’t like divorce, but hates to see His precious children hurt more! I pray this marriage lasts a long long time!!!

        Blessings 🙂

  2. I loved this article! How true it is and how similar we are to chickens! It’s sad. I ‘felt’ for Fancy in your story. And oh, how much more we should have compassion for our fellow man! People are hurting, needing the ‘balm of Gilead’.

    I’d much rather be a Mr. Bird in your story or a ‘Chicken Spa’ provider!

    Wonderful article! Thank you!

  3. I’m loving this post, Stephanie! This is incredible metaphor to use with my twelve year old girl who is experiencing her first encounter with”mean girls.” She’s been witnessing some girls at school be “pecked on” by a few in the flock and is really struggling with how to react. I’m going to let her read this and then talk about Fancy a little bit in relation to our own lives.

  4. Growing up on a farm, with a small flock of chickens, I saw this happen a few times. Usually it happened with those not fully grown. My Dad, an expert farmer and lover of animals, knew exactly what to do, just as your vet told you! The only thing different was he put some black sticky “ointment” on them, maybe to help them heal? Or maybe to keep others from continuing to peck. Or maybe both. Many analogies to GOD’s children!!! The LORD has to pick us up and (hopefully take us away for awhile) help us be healed, and apply HIS special ointment on our deathly hurts inflicted by the world, our own selves and the enemy. Thank you for sharing and making this analogy and helping me see this through my “farming” heritage. I was very blessed and privileged to grow up on that farm and have loving parents who stayed together through some horrendously difficult times, where they were very picked on at times.

  5. I’ve been waiting for you to tell this story over here! Ever since we talked about it last month, it has stuck with me. What a great analogy — and great truths to lean on whenever we’ve felt “pecked on.” Grateful for your wisdom.

  6. What a gift to read this today. I can totally relate, but am so glad to hear this again :
    And let’s stop pulling out our own feathers, believing the lies that the enemy spews about us. But let’s replace each lie with the truth of God’s immeasurable love and grace for each of us.
    Thank you so much!

  7. Stephanie, I enjoyed your post. For Fancy, it was beneficial for her to have someone notice her behavior and outward appearances weren’t healthy. Fortunate for Fancy, someone cared enough to find a diagnosis and follow the treatment. I pray we can do the same for each other.

  8. What an incredible parallel. The message gifts God gives us in the process of life, are amazing. Thank you for living it, so you can share the message. I’m in tears at the analogies! I shall be thinking of Fancy for quite some time, contemplating how it relates to me and those in my paths.
    Thank you!

  9. Oh, Stephanie, my heart broke a little when you got to the part where Fancy had started to believe the lies and was pecking out her own feathers. I’m so grateful we have the Holy Spirit and each other to build ourselves up and Fancy has you. : )

  10. I purchase your book from Amazon a few weeks ago, can wait to get started. I Would love to win the prize, to share with someone.

  11. We had chickens during my growing up years and I saw this feather pulling between the chickens sometimes. It always bothered me. To this day when my husband jokes about raising some chickens, I say no way because I remember how mean they could be to each other. Loved your article. Poor Fancy thinking she deserved the treatment. But you are right. We can be just like Fancy when bullied by others and think we deserve it too. When in fact our Creator is telling us otherwise. Let us have the ears to hear His love and spend some time at His spa.

  12. Thank you for this wonderful post! The Lord Is truly our strength and shield! Fancy’s
    Feathers was truly instructive and encouraging to me. What you shared from Exodus was really from chapter 14 verse 14, I believe.

  13. Just adding a few “Amens” to the other commenters — 1. Praise God He can make the wounded whole (like the old spiritual about the balm of Gilead said). 2. Praise God for the privilege to be like soothing ointment to others, easing their pain. 3. Thank you, Stephanie, for a memorable lesson from your little family farm!

  14. Stephanie,

    Congrats on the farm! I am super pleased to hear Fancy is healed and doing well now!! Your question struck a nerve with me “Have you ever felt beat down by the voices of the enemy, beat up by his tactics, worn out from his attacks, and destitute with the feelings it all might be true? Like you I have many many times. All it takes is one little mistake, misspoken word, etc. and I can hear the evil one saying “Not good enough, ugly, stupid, dumb, don’t even try.” I will believe them for a while. Then I let scripture permeate my soul. I remember I am made in the image of Christ and He said very good. He doesn’t make junk!! one scripture that helps is Zephaniah 3:17 The Lord your God is near. He is might to save. He will take great delight in you. He will quiet you with His love. He will rejoice over you with singing. Image almighty God delighting in me and rejoicing over me with singing.

    Blessings 🙂

  15. Stephanie, you wrote the post! 🙂 I, too, feel so sad for sweet Fancy, yet her story brings to light a lesson we all need to be reminded of again and again. Thank you for sharing your story.

  16. Thank you for this. Oh, how I needed it.

    I have felt so burdened down with the overwhelming guilt that it seems is being heaped upon myself and other Chris tian women I know lately in combination with the finger-pointing condemnation from some.

    I have been in a funk. It seems like everything I have read and everyone I have encountered lately has had the narrative: “You aren’t good enough. You will never really be forgiven. There’s no hope for you.”

    It has seemed hopeless. While I know that during some stages ofnlife, we all need a little kick in the pants, I have found myself wondering “Is THIS what I was saved for? To feel worthlessness and condemnation at every turn?” I felt beat down and discouraged.

    Sometimes we also need a little less condemnation and a little more encouragement. We need to be reminded to be truly glad, for there is great joy ahead.