Kimberly Gillespie
About the Author

Kim loves learning, laughing, living, and sharing all that their 3 kids and God give her to write.

(in)side DaySpring: things we love
& you will too!
Find more at
(in)side DaySpring:
things we love
& you will too!
Find more at
Recent Posts

Reader Interactions


    • Kathleen, thank you for reading. Please keep praying. He sees you. He knows you. He loves you and He does care. It took me years to grasp that truth in crazy circumstances. Don’t let go of Him. Praying His peace over you as sometimes that is the thing that makes life bearable, His unexplainable peace. Grace, peace and blessings to you. Kim

  1. Beautiful. This was just beautiful, thank-you for writing & sharing. Many smiles & blessings 🙂

    • Thank you Tiza.
      Your encouragement, using the word “beautiful” reminds me that beauty can come from ashes. For that I am grateful. Peace and blessings to you.

  2. This is a beautiful devotion. I am feeling that hopelessness as I write this. I do trust our Lord but I have so much pain and so many trials.
    Thank you for sharing

    • Thank you Deb. I know that feeling, been acquainted with it more often than I would care to admit. Trust is difficult, but freeing. It is freeing to know that you do not have to have all of the answers, or figure out how to fix whatever you struggle with. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving present your request to Him. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Phil 4:6-7. My lifeline in times like that. Peace and blessings to you.

  3. Kimberly, this is brilliant writing. This is how I feel at the moment. I feel so full of unbelief – that God doesn’t hear my cries and prayers. Thank you.

    • Louise,
      Thank you for the compliment. Let my story be a testimony and encouragement to you. There is light on the other side. There are new mercies. While you are IN it, it doesn’t feel that way. I love how you used the word “moment’. Keep that perspective, even if you don’t realize it. The little glimmer of hope that remains in you, this is a “moment”. Praying that God will sustain you and encourage you. That He will remind you that He sees you, and that your eyes will be open to seeing His hand in your life, from one moment to the next.

    • Me, too. It’s been a very painful dry season. I suffered verbal and emotional abuse as a child at the hands of my mother. I know now she has narcissistic tendencies where she could turn on a dime even after church!
      I prayed for God to save me from her, and I feel He let me down. So, I married young to get away, and he turned out to be from an alcoholic background, so he is emotionally disconnected and been unfaithful many times even though he seemed perfect on the surface.

      So, I’m not too good with prayer. God seems to answer whichever way He chooses, and I get hurt. He’s God, and He should do as He pleases, but how do I trust Himwhen it seems I’m getting whatever leftover blessing While everyone else gets the overflow
      Don’t I matter as much as His other children?

      • Hello Tee, I am a person who wants everyone to be blessed. My grandmother raised me to love and help others. Please know that I am praying for your happiness and true peace of mind as only God can reveal in your life. Thank you for sharing your story, it helps others to know they are not alone. God bless you Tee. Brenda.

      • You do matter to Him. You do. Even in this instance you haven’t completely given up hope. You are still reading and searching for encouragement, for hints that you aren’t forgotten. He has not forgotten you. I am so sorry that this has been your life and that you have had to go through this. So sorry. Praying that you will see redemption in your life in clear ways. I pray that God will give you joy, and a peace that surpasses understanding in the middle of this season. I believe you commented later in this thread, too. I continue to pray that you are able to forgive – your mom, husband, yourself, God (while He doesn’t sin and doesn’t need “forgiveness”, we still wrestle with our anger towards His actions). While it may seem overwhelming and unconceivable to do so, it is quite possibly the freedom that you are seeking. I have heard it said many times “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” Be free. Peace, joy, and blessings to you.


  4. God is good! Thanks for sharing the struggle, the heartache, and the emotion of those lows–and for sharing the words God used to help you overcome. It sounds like you’ve got a good man there and God is blessing you a bunch!

  5. I am there now, I lost my Mom this past February and I’m married to a man that I’m not sure loves me (there has been betrayal, anger towards me and bitterness). Thankfully I have two wonderful children from a previous marriage. I’m asking for prayers that I finally give up my trying to control this situation and let God have His way, that He really will give me the desires of my heart (a Godly husband who loves me) if I put Him first and trust in Him and to let go.

    • Bonnie, I pray that our faithful Lord blesses you to let go and trust in Him. I pray that you do not fear the future. I pray that You are blessed with a godly and loving husband and that your love for each other will bring you both closer to Jesus. Thank You Jesus for hearing our prayers and for being faithful. In Jesus name, amen!

      P.S. I also deal with trying to control every situation, I have trouble just letting go and trusting God. Sometimes I am fearful of what will happen if I do fully let go. Thank you for sharing and thank you for allowing me to pray for you. Have a blessed day xoxo

    • Bonnie,

      I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. So very sorry.That pain is unbearable at times, I know. I am praying for you as you grieve.

      With control. Please, let go :). I say this as one who struggles with the same. Let go. It is scary, and anxiety-ridden because worrying and trying to create a solution feels like YOU are doing something. But, in this post you will see that at the end of it all HE gets the glory. Give up, so at on the other side, HE will get the glory. So that you will have a testimony of His faithfulness, His goodness, His grace to carry you in the midst of of the trials. As I replied to Deb above, “Do not be anxious about anything (your husband) , but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving present your request to Him. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Phil 4:6-7. Sometimes, I’ve needed help just knowing how to pray, especially when I don’t feel like it. One book that helped in praying for my husband was Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian. There is no guarantee that he will change, but God can change your heart in the meantime and grant you peace. Praying that for you. And I love how even in the midst of your pain, you are praying for others. Peace to you.

  6. I believed in God but didn’t trust him.
    ….God is going to do what he wants anyway.
    I’ve lived my life fearful because of my false perceptions of God and his character. Praise God I live in His truth now.
    Your article was excellent. Reminded me of God’s faithfulness of where I was to where I am today. I belive in God AND trust him.
    God bless you.

  7. Thanks so much for this wonderfully honest word of encouragement! Your words and the verses you chose to include have reminded me of God’s goodness this morning.

  8. your note is inspiring- and makes me wonder how it would look for me – to see God work all that has and hasn’t happened in my life for good– most times it feels like too big, too late and too scary an ask. in Christ’s care, j

    • Thank you J. That’s the awesome and often times frightening thing about trust, isn’t it? We have NO idea how God working “all things together for good “will look. But, “all the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.” We don’t have to know (although it would be nice), because HE knows. I promise you, my script for my life looked a LOT different than what it is. But ask. The God who created the earth is 6 days, with each piece of creation coming about with 3 simple words “Let there be…” is not confined by your definition of too big or too late….Just ask. Pray. Rest.
      Peace to you as you learn to rest in His care.

    • Thank you Kia. And God knew that YOU needed them today, because this post was written weeks ago. See how good He is. I mentioned to Tiza above, using “beautiful” reminds me that beauty can be exchanged for ashes. Be encouraged.

    • Hi Anne, Thank you. As I told Kia above, God KNEW that you needed them – today. This was written some time ago. He knew about today.
      THAT is beautiful. Blessings to you.


  9. Beautiful! The first part about going through the motions hit so home for me. So often I struggle with believing all His promises for everyone around me – but not for myself. Thanks for honestly sharing and for the powerful reminders of His faithfulness!

    • Elizabeth, YESSS!! I can relate. It’s difficult to live under that weight isn’t it? The tension between belief and unbelief. I told a friend recently that I more clearly understand the father asking for help for his son who had an “unclean spirit”. He “cried out and said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief.” I feel that. I get that. But that’s all we can do. Confess where we are, and ask Him for help to overcome what we are struggling with. Praying that God will grant you “mustard seed” faith…start small, recall what GOD has done, the prayers He has answered. Use that at fuel. Peace to you.


  10. Touched by your writing — today especially. We don’t get “over” the pain of loss, but
    our Heavenly Father leads us gently through the painful times, and blesses us
    immensely. Thank you for sharing your story so beautifully, Kimberly.

    • Angela, so grateful for your words and encouragement. No, we don’t get over it. We grieve, we heal, we remember, we are comforted. As I read some of these comments I was immediately reminded of 2 Corinthians 1: 3-4 “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ…who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort which we ourselves are comforted by God.” He knows. Peace to you.

  11. Thank you Young Lady for such an on time message to encourage me and my daughter. Life is a precious gift, given to us for the purpose that only God knows and has designed. When we love, trust and obey time will reveal many things. God bless you and your family. Brenda Russell

    • Thank you Ms Brenda! Blessings to you and your daughter as you walk through your own trials. May God grant you the peace, wisdom, grace, perseverance and love that is required to press on.

    • Linda, Amen and thank God. You are most welcome. And blessings to you as you hold fast to hope and trust Him to do what you think may be absolutely impossible.


  12. You are writing my story. The circumstances differ a little (we’re not dealing with cancer with my mom, but instead are fighting the vicious monster that is drug-resistant epilepsy in our child. She’s 4 years old and has had this for over 3 years) but the basics are the same. We struggle with her health, we struggle financially, we were in full-time ministry for a while. I just told my counselor yesterday that I know God can (fill in the blank), but I don’t believe he will. I’m desperate to see Him heal her but so terrified that he won’t. She and I have been focusing on the verses you quoted. Those exact verses. Thank you for the very true reminder that God is not completely silent and void in my life. He is giving little bits of light and hope. I need to do a better job of recognizing and acknowledging that. My heart is just so weary most of the time. I hope to be on the other side of it, like you, someday.

    • God Most High, I join in prayer for this family going through so much and seeking Your face, even in the fatigue and fear! Wrap your arms around them and give them Your Peace and Strength. If You can resurrect Jesus from a tomb, You can resurrect this family from anything they are experiencing at this time. So, we walk in Your Resurrection Power! Because of Jesus! In His Love, Amen

    • Sweet Kelley, I cannot begin to imagine the pain and helplessness you feel and have felt for the last 3 years. Unfathomable the emotions you must experience – the weariness, worry, anger, fear. I am so very sorry that this is your life right now.
      I am in tears as I write thinking of His faithfulness to you with these words. The gentle “kiss” on the forehead He has given you with these verses, written weeks ago, knowing that you have been meditating on them, trying to grasp hold of the truth in them, and that you would read them today. He sees you Kelley, He sees YOU. And knows your pain and fears. God loves YOU and that baby girl far more than you ever could (if we can even imagine that). Be encouraged dear Sis.

      I responded to Elizabeth above, and your words, “I just told my counselor yesterday that I know God can (fill in the blank), but I don’t believe he will. I’m desperate to see Him heal her but so terrified that he won’t.”, again reminds me of the father in Mark 9, as he desperately sought Christ for his son’s healing. “He “cried out and said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief.” You feel that. You get that. Confess where you are, and ask Him for help to overcome. Praying that God will continue to give you these reminders, that with these reminders He will continue to encourage, comfort and strengthen you and your family, and that God will heal her. All we can do is ask, so ask away. May His peace, presence, strength, comfort and rest be REAL to you. Grace to you.


  13. Thank you Kimberly for sharing this. I really needed to hear this today. I get times where I lose trust in the Lord and times when I feel confused or worried. But you are right God always provides and He blesses us with just what we need when we need it. There are going to be hard times but God is faithful and He is enough. He blessed me to see your beautiful story today and you blessed my day. Thank you and may God bless you and your beautiful family always. Xoxoxoxo

    • Thank you Stephanie. You are right, God is faithful. Thrilled that He saw fit for you to read these words when you needed them. Prayers that He will continue to encourage you to press on and hold tightly to Him even when you would rather let God. Blessings to you too.


  14. Great message. I am walking and have walked the rocky, thistle born trail of life alone, with no encouragement or support for so long, that I would recognize a truly lovingly and helping hand. My Mother has Lewy Body Dementia. All people, yes I mean all family and friends have left without looking back, and I stand alone on this piece of rocky thistle born piece of life – only to look out to more desolation.

    Each time I pray, I hear the words echoing in my head, as God speaks to me “my grace is sufficient.” I am able to take a few more steps, as there is glimmer of light to help me forge forward. I have been doing this for years, yes years. I get up and ask the Lord to give the grace to get through another day.

    Thank you for your words. “God gives just enough light to take the next step and keeps us on the path.” Word to embed in the heart of life.

    • Dear Susan, wow. Bless you for your loyalty and faithfulness to your mom, when others have turned away. BLESS YOU. If she is not able to say it, for her I say, Thank you and THANK YOU again. Thank you.

      So grateful that He keeps giving you what you need to keep taking steps. “His grace…” and new mercies. Wow. Thank you for inspiring me with your faithfulness, commitment and determination to do what no one else is willing to do. Praying that He will comfort you, and as Miss Carol said, even provides others nearby who can be a help and encouragement to your soul. Sweet Susan, I keep thinking “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people…” (Gal. 6:9) You are doing that. With that, Jesus says, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28. May He continue to give you the grace, and strength you need as you provide this act of love for your mom. Peace, rest and blessings to you.

  15. Yes! Sometimes (a lot of times, actually) I have experienced ‘just enough’ …seen through tear-swollen eyes. and felt by my heart pounding in fear and lungs gasping for life. Each breath was miracle enough to remind me that He who is in control still wanted me to stay here when I longed for heaven’s rest. Thank you for sharing your journey with us!

    • Miss Carol, this… “seen through tear-swollen eyes. and felt by my heart pounding in fear and lungs gasping for life”. Yes. Thank you for reading. Blessings to you on your journey.


  16. I can totally relate. I’m currently in a situation where my sister, who lives with me, is dying from cancer. The doctor has done all he can do and Hospice has stepped in. I find it really difficult some days to believe that God has a purpose in this. Watching someone you love suffer and knowing there’s nothing you can do about it, definitely has it’s affect on your faith.

    • I am so sorry Kim. It is one of the most painful, gut-wrenchingly helpless things you can be a part of. Prayers for her and your family. May God grant opportunities to continue to make sweet memories with her. May He blanket your family with what He knows you need as you grieve, and process. It is so hard. Don’t seek for a purpose, if there is one that He wants to reveal, He will do so in due time. We want answers and to make sense of the craziness we see. Truth is, we live in a messed up world where painful things happens. Life sometimes just sucks – like now, for you and your family. Don’t worry about the purpose, focus instead on loving your sister and reminding her how much she is deeply loved. Peace and comfort to you all.


  17. What do you say to the woman who miscarried her child, never to conceive again? In place of a child was given a incurable disease? Loss led to failure and broken dreams. I believe God is Able to do so much more than we ask but not everyone gets what they want. It is in picking up the pieces of shatteted dreams and moving forward into an unknown place that my faith has been strengthened.

    • K, to her I say, I am sorry, and I sit with her in the grief and pain of the loss and broken dreams. I cry with her and pray desperately for God to be real, tangible, and redemptive in ways that He knows SHE needs it. I pray that He will give her the strength that she needs to move forward, to trust Him, to lean on God and to experience His goodness in ways that she previously thought unimaginable. That He will give her new dreams in place of the old shattered ones. That He will indeed take her ashes and miraculously turn them into a thing of beauty – in only the ways He can. God’s grace on the journey. Peace, faith, and new life to you, K.


  18. Thank your for sharing. I am going through many difficulties right now, and just last night I told my best friend that I feel as if God has abandoned me! Like you, I still believe in God, just not that He is truley listening to me. That the fact that I am falling apart means nothing. I needed your story today. I prayed This morning that God would just get me through today. Just today! And I read your story. Thank you for encouraging me to get through just today!

    • Chasidy, that brings me to tears to know that my few words could be His answer to your prayer. To know that He knows and sees you and loves you in that way- amazes me. Praying for continued strength as you hold on to Him in spite of how things look and how you feel. May He continue to give you what you need to make it day by day, as you wait for Him to do what only He can. May you be stronger in faith on the other side that you were going in. You are welcome. Blessings to you.


  19. Thank you for these words straight from God for me!! I struggle in hard situations to believe God actually loves me. I get discouraged and wonder what’s the use….I have prayed and prayed to Him over heartbreaking situations on my life and have a difficult time seeing God in the midst. Your words encourage me to keep fighting this life of faith and knowing that He IS right here and He loves me.

  20. You have encouraged me yet I did learn the same lesson this past month. After asking the Lord whom I know answers prayer, to send me someone to encourage me in an area of my life that I was increasingly being discouraged, that is what He did.
    in remote Alaska, along came Victoria. She said exactly what God has already told me but confirmed it through her. I cried and she prayed for me.
    She will never know how much of a blessing she has been. I had waited so long for the person to come along to encourage me, but I had it confirmed: Keep God as the most important thing in your life. I was prone to trying to please others.
    So I know what you must haVe felt like, Kim.
    I am so glad it has all turned out fine for you.
    God bless you in your ministry.

    • Thank you you so much Gail. So encouraging to hear about His answers to other people’s prayers, even as I wait for some of my own to be answered in this season. Praying that this answer to your prayer, in remote Alaska, is a memorial marker for you. A reminder that there is no such thing as remote to Him. Thanking God for Victoria, and the confirmation. Prayers for you to continue to stand firm in the truth. Blessings!


  21. Amen! Thank you for being transparent. I needed to read this. Continue to let God use you.

  22. What a precious testament to God’s unfailing grace and goodness. You are brave to tell your story. I have been there too yet God is so faithful to show us His true nature of greatest love and grace and mercy. Thank you for writing this and sharing it.

    • Thank you Barbara. He is good. Remembering His hand in my story reminds me to trust Him in chapters yet to be written, even as I face unknowns. He is gracious. He is faithful. He is good. Have a wonderful day.


  23. Beautiful-a piece made for hurting christians. Joy comes in the morning-we, like Job go through so many different things. It makes it so much more special when you have a child after a miscarriage. It will not replace that unborn child but it helps to have a miracle child. My niece had a few miscarriages and almost lost this one-he is now 4 months and is such a joy to our whole family. I`m glad you were blessed with a sweet husband.

    • Thank you Verlette. Yes, it reminded me not to take life and God for granted, that everything is in His hands. Praise Him for that sweet new gift in your family. Enjoy that baby and blessings to your family.


  24. I can relate to part of your story. I was 26 when I lost my mom to cancer. It was the most difficult thing I’ve experienced in my life and caused me to question/doubt God at times, but God has brought a lot of healing to me through the Motherless Daughters Ministry – If anyone has experienced mother loss I would encourage you to check out the site and get connected with others. It’s such a loving and supportive community. I now firmly believe Romans 8:28. I may have lost my mom, but in the process I learned I will never lose God’s love.

    • Thank you for sharing this JT. It is extremely difficult. So glad to know that there is a ministry to encourage those who have lost mothers, and thrilled that you found it. We will “never lose God’s love” – neither life nor death can separate us. Amen. Peace to you.


  25. I can so relate, except for me it was my dad when I was 17. Yep I got angry at God, except I walked away. Away from the church, away from family, and made a real mess of my life. But Oh God is so gracious and forgiving. I am so blessed with His love and forgiveness and where he has put me today. Through all of it HE never let me go. Yes, I know He did what was best. I can see It now, but at 17 I sure couldn’t. He healed my dad beyond this life and allowed my mom freedom to travel that would never have occurred otherwise. She is with him now 11 years, and I know my day will come to join them. Oh Glorious Day!

    • Mary, your testimony of being “kept” – beautiful story of redemption and grace. You let go, He didn’t. Anger and hurt can lead us down difficult paths- I relate to that too. I still attended church, but my heart and life was far from Him. He is gracious. Sweet to hear God eventually gifted with with glimpses of the good in the midst of the loss. Sorry to hear about your mother. Your perspective encourages me – Oh Glorious Day, indeed.


  26. Very encouraging and just what I needed today. Going through challenging times…..yet I know God is awesome!

    • Hi Yolanda, He is awesome, even though circumstances often make us feel the opposite. So sorry you’re going through difficulties. Praying that He will give you wisdom to navigate decisions, and peace in the waiting.


  27. Amen. I have walked a similar path. My daughter died when she was a month old and my dad died from cancer two weeks later. Romans 8:28 haunted me for the few year following their deaths. But as I’ve continued to lean into the Lord relentlessly He has shown me He is faithful to His promises, even when I don’t understand. Thank you for sharing your story and how God is revealing His truth in your life!

    • Kristin, I am so sorry to hear of your losses. The word “haunted” expresses the tension so well. The feeling that doesn’t quite match what you read and want o be true – gnawing at you, ever present – haunting. Wow. Encouraging to read how He is pursing you, and how you have run to Him, instead of from Him. Thank you for sharing. Praying that God will continue to heal, comfort and strengthen you. Peace to you.


  28. Kimberly, such a beautiful post. Life is never easy. I, like you, have gone through those times of not believing God had good for me. I so appreciate the verses you shared. They are perfect for reaffirming the reality of who God is, and the truth that He does love us, even when our circumstances try to tell us otherwise. Thank you for the reminder that God is the One we can (and should) cling to when life threatens to drown us.

  29. Thank you for this timely post. I just had a convo on the phone crying and saying “I believe in Him but I just can’t trust Him anymore.” Thank you for the reminder that though those moments come, they will lead to moments where we look back and see He’s faithful.

    • Rosh, as you have read, I get it. You are welcome. Yes, the challenge is to keep that perspective of a “moment”, and that “the light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” (2 Cor. 4:17). That’s the rub, isn’t it? Press on. Peace and a greater perspective as you go forward.

  30. Thank you, Kim, for posting this, I have often felt the same way and I always find myself running back to God because He’s all I really have even though I have prayed and prayed and prayed… My mom passed away when I was seven and my sister was three; my dad passed away a few days after my 39th birthday; and my husband passed away from cancer two years ago…. I don’t have any family or children. I pray that God will bring the right man for me into my life and not take this person away from me.

    • Oh Therese, your pain and fear is real. I am so very sorry for all of the loss and disappointment you have experienced. I cannot imagine. Mercy. I pray God’s mercy for you. Faith, and the ability to trust Him with your heart again. That He will show you, and you can firmly grasp that He can be trusted, and that in spite of how you may feel, that He is good. That must feel so difficult, and yet it’s something that He CAN do. I pray that He will heal your heart, and bring you abundant joy, and a peace that is unexplainable, as you wait for Him. Peace and joy to you.


  31. This is the beauty of reading the posts on incourage….especially when someone is able to articulate EXACTLY what I am feeling, I know God is talking to me through that person. ” I believed in God, but I didn’t trust Him. I believed He was able, and that He could, I simply didn’t believe He would — for me.” I’m so there. I believe in God. I believe God can do anything He wants….He just doesn’t want to, and no amount of prayer is going to change that. Yet I still cry out because if I stop, then the voices I hear are my own and the enemy’s. Thank you Kimberly. I won’t give up.

    • Patsy, please, please don’t give up. Keep crying out. Like the father in Mark 9 pleading for his son (I’ve referenced that a few times). Cry out. Be honest. Plead. Ask. The remarkable thing about this father was that he had just asked the disciples to help and they couldn’t. But, he didn’t stop. He was determined, even in his unbelief. Would Jesus be impotent like His disciples? Would Jesus do the same for him, that he’d heard He did for others?? He didn’t know, but he asked. “I believe, help my unbelief.” Praying that God will answer that prayer for you “I believe, Lord help my unbelief.”
      Grace and peace,


      • I have never replied to these posts and I am so amazed that Kimberly has taken the time to respond to each and every one, including mine. Thank you for the reminder of what I need to do. You are an angel and God is using you in an amazing way.

        • You are most welcome, Patsy. Thank you. I am humbled and amazed when God chooses to use me, and gives me chances to do what I love doing. So sweet of Him. Have a wonderful weekend.


  32. Thank you, reading this has filled me with joy and hope. Many blessings to you and your family.

  33. Thus is just what I needed to read at this moment in time, when I pray quietly, scream and cry and rant loudly and feel abandoned. You have given me some hope. Waiting for Gods timing is hard!

    • Gillian, waiting extremely hard, especially because you don’t know how long it will last. I can relate to all of those actions. I remember standing outdoors in a breezeway between 2 homes at my lowest point, collapsing into my husband’s arms and yelling out loud how God had abandoned me. I’m pretty reserved, so that shows you how was how desperate I was. I didn’t care who else heard me, as long as He did. As you pray, scream and cry, know that He hears you. Grace, peace, patience, hope and rest from anxiety as you wait.


  34. I can’t imagine losing my mother, she was told she had stage 4 breast cancer about then years ago, we stood in faith, when she went for a biopsy, no cancer. Thank you Lord. She had a hysterectomy from being run down as a care giver herself. It is always good to sow a healing word before we are sick. I am sorry for your loss, I’m sure she’s glad you’re writing too.

    • Rebecca, thank you. I love to hear stories of God’s healing. It strengthens faith, reminds us all of what God CAN do, and how like in the Bible it points people back to Him – people believe in Him, and He gets glory. Powerful. Thank you for sharing that.


  35. Thank you so much for your words of encouragement! While my circumstances are different, I have experienced the heartbreak (from someone still living) and wondering if my prayers are really making a difference. Your testimony to God’s faithfulness in spite of your hard times is uplifting and healing to my spirit!! May God continue to “wow” you with all that He has for you!!

    • Kimberlee, you are welcome, and allow me to pray that same for you. May God “wow” you with His answers to your prayers in His way. May you be amazed by how and when He answers, and what He teaches you in the process. Even if it may not be what you want, I pray that He will show you how BIG He is. I pray that you will have grace, peace and patience in the waiting, and have the ability to rest well in Him (I know how hard the waiting is). Peace to you.


  36. I have had the very same thoughts you had: I know God can, but I didn’t believe He would, at least not for me. I’ve never stopped believing for others, only for myself. So many situations that have never changed no matter how much I’ve prayed.

    Thank you so much for telling your story.

    • You are welcome Bonnie. Allow me to encourage you with this. Even though I can tell this story now, I still have those doubts in trying times (recently, in fact). I would encourage you to spend time writing down times He has answered your prayers, and the situations that He has changed, time you didn’t think you would make it, or times He has protected and provided. Write those down, thank Him, and use those to be reminded that the same God who did all that, is the same God who hears you now. (I am talking to myself as I type this). I pray you will be encouraged by His hand in your story as well.


  37. Thanks for writing this article. I still struggle at times wondering if GOD understand my pain. I know He does but I still feel empty. With a failed marriage, being childless (although I get to love on the children that comes to the mission), and my best friend(my Mom) dying; it’s a little difficult to keep a smile on my face when I want to give up. I know He hears my heart’s, but it’s those moments when Iife seems to have thrown me a curve ball. Keep up the good work.

    • Dearest Claudette, God doesn’t require you to keep a smile on your face and pretend you aren’t in pain. Tell Him what He knows already – you hurt, you doubt, you question. I love many of David’s psalms for that reason. “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?”(Psalm 13) “My God, my God why have you forsaken me?”(Psalm 22). David was doing anything but smiling, he was lamenting, sad, angry even. His circumstances often didn’t reflect his position as a coming king. But, by the end of many of these psalms he is praising God. And while it only takes us a few moments to read them, we have no idea how long it took him to get to the other side. But, he got there. Seemingly against all odds, he got there. Be encouraged.


  38. I was just talking to my kids about my marriage today. We were in a “rough spot” for several years. I prayed and prayed that God would either make him leave me or make it better, and here we are better than before. I don’t really like God’s timing, but I’ve come to understand that God is faithful to what he promised. He is close to the brokenhearted even when we don’t feel it. Thanks for sharing!

  39. Hi, this is where I have been over the last few months with the sudden death of my sister. I was not angry with God – just confused about my feelings about God. Joy will come, and I know that I have to go through this valley to
    see the promises of the Lord.

    • Hi Duhanne,

      I am so sorry to hear about the death of your sister. I understand. It is often difficult to grasp how a good God allows awful things to happen –to us. We are rocked to our core. I mentioned the Book of Psalms earlier because I often felt like David put words to my emotions and questions. While his words gave voice to my feelings, they also gave me hope, as by the end of them he was often praising God. Praying that as you grieve you find words to give voice to your emotions. That you feel the freedom to be honest with God and give Him your heart, telling Him/asking Him the things He already knows. I pray that He will comfort you in ways that allow you to know it is Him. And that yes, indeed, your joy returns. Grace, peace and joy to you in the process.


  40. This was awesome. I have at one time quit believing. And at times doubt. Thank you.

  41. Kimberly, I praise the Lord for these beautiful words that touch my soul. I thank each person here who replied, sharing their struggles to believe that God is bigger than what they face. For God is bigger than our feelings and He knows everything 1 John 3:20. I have such moments in the loneliness and fear, yet He is faithful and true. My heart breaks for each person here, for your struggles. I too struggle to let go of control and case my care, letting Him take the reins and not worry. Yet I know that He will never do anything apart from His Word and that He shows us such love in His Son. May all be for His glory and may each of you be blessed in His everlasting love and peace 🙂

    • Thank you An. I believe sometimes just knowing that you are not the only one helps and encourages. To know that there are others with you, who have gone before you, and will come after is a comfort that gives hope.

      He is bigger and faithful and true. Thank you for your words of encouragement, reminders and prayers of blessings.

      Blessings to you,

  42. Beautiful, Kim! Keep writing. I love the scriptures you included and blessed your readers with. Inspiring reminders of the goodness of God. Thank you!

  43. Thank you for this message on a day where I didn’t think I could ever make it through another. My story is very different, but the feelings of distrust, pain, and fear are the same. Thank you for helping me to remember that God is there even when I don’t see him.

    • Melissa, I never comment on these threads, but I wanted to say thank you for your comment. I will be praying for you, that as days pass, each one will be marked by more hope and joy, as He keeps reminding you that, as you said, He’s always there (and always working for your good and His glory) even when you can’t see Him. He loves you so much.

    • Melissa,
      I remember the day when I determined I couldn’t make it through another. Thank God, I did. You can to, Melissa. He really is there. You may not see/feel Him in “big” ways. But, He is there. I thought of Elijah in 1 Kings 19, when he was fleeing for his life, convinced that he would be killed as others had been, and convinced that he was alone and abandoned by God in spite of his devotion to him.
      “Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the Lord told him. And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave.”

      Praying you will catch when God “whispers” in your life to know that you are seen, heard, and loved. Praying that each whisper encourages and strengthens you. And praying that on the other side, you will have gained strength to encourage another and speak to God’s grace and faithfulness in your own life. Peace, blessings and God’s strength in your weakness.


  44. Kimberly, I think your article was a much needed one for many of us. It’s hard to admit trust issues with God because of people, but you allowed us to do it unashamedly.
    Now, we can get healed from past wounds, childhood hurts, present misunderstandings that keep us from the cause and the closeness of knowing Christ.
    Bless you, my Sister.

    • Tee, it seems that way. It is so difficult to admit, and glad that God has given so many a space and freedom to do this in this moment. I am humbled and awed by the fact that God took experiences so awful and is still redeeming them years later. Would I have wished to have my mother to live and some things to have been different? Absolutely. But I am grateful that He redeems. I cannot explain why He chooses to do or allow what He does, but so grateful that He can grant peace, joy and abundant life on the other side of it. Blessings as you continue your journey towards healing, and forgiveness. Be free. Grace to you and peace.

  45. Thank you for these lovely words. I’ve been looking for a job for a while now and finally thought God was delivering later this week. Just this morning I received an email telling me they decided to hire someone else. Cue every feeling of doubt you just described – feeling like my prayers are heard, but they are heard by a God who is going to do things his own way anyway. It’s so hard not to feel that way sometimes! Your words helped me to reflect upon all of God’s blessings in other areas, and that we can’t let our faith be shaken by our setbacks and trials. I’m trying my best to take joy in these circumstances because they really DO produce endurance and wisdom. I hate it right now, but I’ll be better off because of these struggles. It’s not easy to pray and pray and pray and come up with nothing – but this refusal to give up on God, this endurance, this unwavering hope, is what defines our faith.

    • Amen Sara. I am so sorry about the disappointment in not hearing what you wanted and needed to hear today. I am also encouraged by your faith in the midst of it. It may not feel like it as you are IN it, but you are demonstrating faith. You are still trying, you are still praying and still hoping in the midst of the “no’s”. Faith. Praying that God will grant you the job that is exactly where He wants you to be, and that you will make a difference there. That your presence will make a difference. I also pray that He will do “exceedingly abundantly above all that you can ask or imagine.” Grace (in the truest sense of the unearned favor of God), peace, and joy on your job search.


    • Tiffany! Hey sis :). Thank you for your encouragement and inspiration along the way and giving me space to process my many, many words on a regular basis. Praying for you this weekend. Love you.

  46. Thank you so much for writing. It was just what I needed to hear in this season. I’m so proud of you, Kim. I so glad God allowed our paths to cross.

    • Satrina, I miss you. I am doing what I remember you doing for me. I will never, ever forget that time you called me- were compelled and obeyed – reminding me that I needed to have faith, trust God, in one of my trying times. Perfectly placed. Timely and confirmation that God saw me, as I had been reading some of those same stories. “Oh you of little faith.” Thank you. Praying for you in this season, that God will send others to be for YOU what you have been for them over the years. Love you.

  47. Dear sweet sister, thank you. Your brutal and raw honestly is so appreciated by this woman of many years who still fights this battle. Our 34 year old son has been in and out of homelessness for a decade. He was raised in a God fearing home and gave his heart to Jesus as a young man.We have lost all hope that life will ever change for him. It’s the demon depression and anxiety that paralyze him. He lives with my husband and I who are well into our 60’s . Ever day we go before the throne waiting for a touch of His hand in our sons life. We have been to counseling for years no one has answers for this dreadful mental health issue. We believe…Lord, help our unbelief.

    • Oh Lee, you are most welcome. I am sorry for this road you are on. I can only imagine the pain and sadness for your son (will they always be considered your baby boy because that is what I wanted to call him?). So sorry, I do pray that God will answer your prayers and that he will be delivered. Thank you for sharing your story, and the reminder that trusting God and exercising faith will be something we will do until we meet Him. Prayers for peace, and patience and grace beyond measure. Don’t give up hope, your son depends on it :D. When I think of my life – I am convinced it is my grandmother’s continued prayers that have carried our family through.


  48. What an inspiring, encouraging and beautifully written devotion. I feel like God spoke through your words. You have a gift. Thank you for sharing it with us.

  49. Thank you for sharing your experiences with such vulnerability and honesty. I can totally relate to your journey. It is so difficult to reconcile the loss of a parent at an early age with a loving and personal God. Yet I can attest through my personal testimony as well, that God did not leave me alone in the darkness, and like you so beautifully said, “God provides the light we need to keep us on the path.” Thank you, we need these reminders daily.

    • Amen, Christina. So true. I need these reminders DAILY. Thank you. It’s encouraging for me to hear of God’s faithfulness in other’s lives too. So, thank you again.

      Peace to you,

  50. I am at that point now…not wanting to pray because after a few years of praying that my body would be free of disease, I no longer believe that will happen. My pastor tells me God is able. Maybe. But he apparently doesn’t want to heal me. I have doubted God and then got scared that he would punish me for doubting so I beg him to forgive me…but out of fear. I am weary of the battle. Others are weary of me. It’s a lonely place to be.

    • Becky, thank you for sharing your true feelings. My family and I are praying for remission of rheumatoid arthritis. This challenge had been part of my grandmother’s life along with my mother’s life and my life since my late 20’s. I am 57 and I am still waiting. Please let me encourage you to never give up. I love you and I will pray for you, pray for me too. Brenda P.S. I get confused and weary sometimes. We are earthen vessels.

    • Becky, I am sorry. And while my story is different – I have done that too – doubting and fearing and begging. It is miserable – like being tossed to and fro on the sea – sickening, maddening. He knows that we will doubt and fear, so He tells us not too – repeatedly, because it’s our nature. I don’t know if He will heal you, I wish I could tell you that He would, because I know that He can. But I suspect that in the midst of it, somehow, He wants you to trust Him with it all. To just stand firm in the He is able. To live your life in abundance as He gives you grace to. To experience joy that no one or nothing can take way. To not have your life defined by the disease that plagues you, but by your relationship to Him, as one who is dearly loved my Him. To have a peace that is unexplainable. These are all things He told us He gives us. It has to be true. It just has to be. Prayers for peace, joy, grace and healing.


  51. I’m struggling. My sister lost her 3 year battle with breast cancer a week and a half ago. She was 42 with kids ages 9, 12, and 21. We prayed so hard and up
    until her last breath, I really believed God would honor our prayers and heal her on this side. My mom, who was also diagnosed with breast cancer at the same time and still going through chemo is beyond sad. The pain is indescribable and very real for the children, 4 sisters, parents, nieces and nephew left behind. I read this months ago and had it saved and came across it again today. It helped me back then, my hope is that it will help me again some day.

    • Dear Brittny, A dear cousin lost a battle to heart disease and left 3 children behind. It’s painful and seems to unfair an senseless. Her death was preventable, but she was afraid or unable to reach out to do anything about her health.
      I’m praying for those three kids and you and your precious sister’s children.
      May their lives flourish despite this unforeseen tragedy.

      • Tee,
        It does all seem quite unfair. Thank you for your words and prayers. My heart sends the same prayers for you and your family. It is hard being the ones left behind.

    • Oh Brittny, It is SO hard to be one of the ones left behind to grapple with it all. To still believe and have faith that God is good when life at the moment seems to feel otherwise. I’m sorry this is where you are right now. So sorry. It’s just hard. And honestly, it sucks. It’s understandable that you are struggling. And I admire your honesty in telling people the truth (I didn’t do that and suffered). Others can pray for you and lift you up until you are able and willing to do so yourself. Keep being honest with Him. Keep telling others who can pray for you and with you- safe people. All I can say is although 2 weeks from loss it does not feel this way, one day the light will shine again. There will still be a bit of darkness in the void left behind, it will still hurt. But, the suffocating fog of disbelief and grief lessens. You will still remember, still grieve at odd times, but one day, the light can shine. Praying for you as you grieve that God will give you the grace to grieve as needed, that He will send people to give you the space to do so, and to walk with you and your family through this, that you will continue to be honest and that even when you don’t know it or realize it or even want it that He will give you glimpses of His presence and love for you all.

      • Thank you, Kim. I have shared this blog and your response with my family. I appreciate being able to be honest and feel safe. Thank you for your words and prayers.