The 1000th time my youngest child threw a tantrum during our hectic morning routine, I knew it was time for a new reaction. In the midst of my immediate exhaustion, I looked at him, crossed my eyes, and vigorously shook my head back and forth. His two brothers, sitting on each side of him at the breakfast table, immediately broke out in giggles. Crumbs of toast tumbled out of their mouths as I added to the goofiness by sticking out my tongue.
My littlest man, tears halfway down his cheeks, tried hard to resist. He failed. His whines turned into half whines and then into pseudo coughs and muffled laughs, and by the time I was dizzy all the boys were laughing loud and nearly choking. Food safety and bad table manners aside, it was great way to thwart his plan.
We’d been many months deep into regular morning meltdowns. I tried to make sure my child received a few moments of one-on-one attention before preparing breakfast, but I’d long since ceased questioning how the routine needed tweaking or what in the world I was doing wrong.
Then one day, the infamous last nerve prevailed. After months of giving grace, I had hit a wall. Two family members on the verge of tears make for a manic morning and a rough start to any day. Along the way, dueling meltdowns became our new normal — a habit for this child who, in a family of five, is admittedly often along for the ride.
A time to weep . . .
Typical things triggered his sadness, as it goes with young children: a misplaced blueberry or a helping of syrup not equal in circumference (we’re talking millimeters here) to that of his brother’s. He whined, I threatened. He fussed louder, I hauled him back his room. The time spent getting ready for school turned into tension-filled moments where none of my children could meet expectations. I snapped at them, and they felt pressured and hurried. Tantrums among children spread like a nasty stomach bug, and my aftermath was making it worse. On too many mornings, we all loaded the car emotionally worn down before the sun was barely up.
But on this morning, I looked for a detour around that wall, swallowing my pride with my lukewarm coffee. Rather than him throwing off our morning, I needed to throw off his.
A time to embrace . . .
Finding humor in the day-to-day situations isn’t often preached about from the pulpit. Laughter isn’t usually the subject of Bible studies. But both are incredible gifts from God and have the ability to bring about the joy encouraged in Scripture for those whose hope is in Christ.
A time to laugh . . .
As I know from Ecclesiastes 3:4, there is a time for laughter. As I know from the Proverbs, joy is connected to a happy heart {Proverbs 15:13}, a well-fed soul, and emotional healing {Proverbs 17:22}. Since that day we all got goofy at breakfast, I’ve tried more to laugh off the quirky and even annoying things about motherhood, marriage, and general mayhem that make up our moments, our days, our years.
Such laughter is a welcome relief and salve for the soul. The more I work to be intentional about spotting humor during the everyday things, the better I become at turning a bad moment into something less stressful and look above the mundane, the dreary, the outrageous. And the more I do that, the more my children will learn the art of doing it, too. Meltdowns might be contagious, but a joyful spirit spreads just as fast.
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Love this! Beyond the fact that this is deftly written, it’s refreshingly candid and sweet. We who have been blessed with children know all too well the reality of dealing with a child’s tantrum. It’s difficult handling those situations correctly because we’re human. Sharing your experience and wisdom is a gift. Good work friend. 🙂
Thank you so much for your kind words, Kunta. Did we know our sweet little babies were going to throw down this way? Here’s to less yelling and more laughing.
This is brilliant Rhonda. I’m so happy to see your words here.
Thank you, Dorothy!
Hey there Rhonda,
I can so relate. Sometimes instead of losing my temper I let myself lose my inhibitions and get my goofy on. It’s been a game changer for us too and I love watching how much it surprises the kids. Thanks for the reminder – especially as we head into summer!
I’m glad to hear from another mama who can relate, Lisa-Jo. I hope to make this a more consistent game changer. And yes, summer. Here we come. 🙂
Rhonda, this speaks exactly to where I have been this week with my youngest child. We are a family of 5 too and her crying tantrums have been in the morning getting ready for school and when we are in a rush too! I had to chase her around the car the other morning to get her to put her shoes on whilst she was crying cause I had packed her bag and she wanted to do it but she was the last one out of bed and last one to get dressed, what a battle! Then my husband experienced it this morning, and I chased her around the stairs same scenario, oh the frustration and then the guilt for yelling comes…
Thank you for your post, I am going to try and implement some laughter and sillyness to our morning routine. It is so true happiness comes from a well-fed soul, thank you for your truthful post this morning!
Thank you, Jas. I’m glad this is an encouragement to you. I’m praying now for the run-and-chase routine to become a thing of the past, and for yelling to be replaced with laughter at some point. The youngest kids know how to get their attention, one way or another.
I agree 100% that sometimes we just need to find the humor in the situation and all the tension, emotion, etc dissipates. Often your kids need it just as much as you do!
Oh, that is the truth, Joanna. Thank you.
I love this! We take ourselves way too seriously. As my husband always says, “you’re too hard on yourself”, and he’s right. I’ve started noticing the hilariousness in life’s situations & stresses alot more after dealing with some suffering. Life is SO MUCH MORE FUN when we can see the humor in it and just laugh! 😀
I take myself too seriously, too. We have to giggle a bit. It’s a much better legacy to leave children than one of yelling and tension. I’m still working to change it.
My children are all grown and my grandchildren are growing up. The thing I would do if I could go back is make our family more fun–not that it was terrible, but I do believe humor can defuse many situations. Great post.
Thank you, Dorothy. I believe the same about humor.