She takes her time picking up her things. She’s usually in a hurry, so I’ve learned to linger when she lingers. I slowly pick up the trash from our lunch and wait expectantly to see if she will talk. My 17-year-old daughter, Virginia, can talk faster than anyone I have ever met, so when she fires away, I pay close attention, so I won’t miss a word.

Wait for it. Wait for it.

“I think I want to get baptized. I mean I know I was baptized as a baby, but I don’t remember, and I’m just feeling like I want to, but I don’t want to feel awkward. Do you think it will be awkward? What if I am the only one? I bet it will be awkward. Maybe I should wait or not. I don’t know. I don’t really want to get my hair wet because that would be . . . well, awkward.”

This moment was pivotal. Being a sappy or pushy mom might shut her down. I wanted to encourage her to listen and follow her heart.

I waited, biting my nails while listening as she worked through her fear.

Thankfully, the young pastor who offered the invitation for baptism was hanging around and available to help. He quickly understood Virginia’s dilemma and told her to “embrace awkward, instead of running away from it.” Great advice. The pull in her heart was a nudge from the Holy Spirit.

“Let go, Virginia. Let God lead you. Lean into the light,” I prayed silently.

We do not have to be 17 to feel awkward. Honestly, most of us can probably think of at least five times this week we have experienced it. I told Virginia that I have spent most of my life feeling awkward. This seemed to terrify her more, until I explained how awkward can become awesome with God.

Paul wrote about embracing awkwardness to become unlike our culture and to grow to be our very best:

“So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life — your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life — and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for Him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what He wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.” {Romans 12:1-2 MSG}

As Christ followers, we are not meant to fit in. And while we know this, it is still a little awkward to stick out.

Sticking out makes us easy targets — this is what Virginia feared — but that is exactly what God wants us to do. Each time we act on the nudges that lead us out of our cozy corner, our faith grows. And so do we. Leaning into awkwardness can lead to our best life.

Virginia fully embraced awkward this day, sporting an “I Have Decided” t-shirt and joining several others in the celebration of baptism. It was a day we will never forget. Virginia will always be able to look back and be thankful that feeling awkward did not hold her back.

She chose to embrace awkward instead of running from it. I am so proud of her. She leaned into the Light, unashamedly telling the world, “I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back.”

So, has awkward been holding you down?

Are you flying under the radar to avoid being an easy target?

Let’s learn to embrace the sometimes awkward leading of the Spirit.

He will lead us to our best life, to an awesome life. God grows us through awkwardness, so we can hold our heads high — even with wet or dry hair. We may wear a bull’s eye, but rest assured, each one of us is the apple of God’s eye. Leaning into the Light is more than worth it.

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