About the Author

Jen encourages women to embrace both the beauty and bedlam of their everyday lives at BeautyandBedlam.com. A popular speaker, worship leader, and author of Just Open the Door: How One Invitation Can Change a Generation, Jen lives in North Carolina with her husband, five children, and a sofa for anyone...

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  1. Jen,
    Thank you for sharing something so personal because it is so powerful. What a testimony of what God can do in any and every situation. I do believe that pain and powerful victory can coexist. God is continually redeeming all the brokenness. I believe your birth mother will experience joy in finally knowing you one day and seeing the beauty that God brought from what were the ashes of her life at the time. Sacrifice begets hope….look at what came from Christ’s sacrifice…
    Blessings to you,
    Bev

  2. Jen, Appreciate these heart beating words! My daughter is now 8 and just asked the “so who is my real mom” question. I love your beginning story and the way Jesus brings healing in heartbreak. You are so right…Adoption shattered her heart while forming yours – so many birth Moms out there and I hope I can guide Molly to honor such courage as she grows up.
    Thank you!

    • Oh jenny- I will pray with you as you navigate that discussion over the coming years. She is blessed to have you!! xoxxo

  3. At 17 I had a daughter that I never saw at birth, and left at the hospital for a couple to have as theirs. As a ten she struggled with who she was, and through the adoption agency shared some letters back and forth. Fast forward another 10 years. I’m sitting at my desk at work talking to my boss. She leaves and I turn on the radio. They are announcing a trip give a way. Not even knowing where it was to I dialed the phone. ONCE! If you know anything about radio contests you know you never win on the first dial. But I did! AND it was a trip to Chicago, my hometown.

    I had been feeling a need to heal, and called the agency. Two days later my phone rand and ai was hearing my daughter Ellie for the first time. She had two young boys!! Two weeks later my mom passed after a long battle with cancer. Despite my family, I went on that trip to Chicago and met my daughter for the first time. And my 2 grandsons and her boyfriend.

    It was shortly after this trip that I put my faith in Christ and began to walk with Him. That following summer she came down and met my girls and I became known as The Mom.

    Ellie battled drugs beginning as a teen and sadly, just 2 tears into our budding relatio ship she list that battle and passes away. My grandson’s aunt keeps me up on the boys since her parents were never too keen on us meeting to begin with. But I am hopeful.

    I see God’s hand in putting this all together so I could meet her and we could heal. When she hugged me the last day and said I love you, it was an amazing thing. God was working far before I knew Him.

    I am geateful for the time we had. On a tough day I still question God as to why He didn’t intervene that night. But one day I will understand.

    • Sue – Tears are streaming as I read your story. Thank you for sharing your heart here. I can’t even imagine all that you have gone through. I don’t have any answers for you, but I will be praying for restoration with the aunt, so that you can be a Godly influence in those boys lives. I know the story He writes there will be a powerful one.

  4. Jen, as an adoptive mom of two boys, I’ve prayed for their birthmothers. I can only imagine the price their sacrifices exacted from them. They’ve both expressed an interest in meeting their biological parents, and we’ve told them we’ll help them, when we feel they’re ready. It’s a scary thing as an adoptive mom to hear those earnest desires from my boys’ mouths. It dredges up my own insecurities . . . and chases me to my Daddy’s arms, trusting that He’s working in this family He put together inside our four walls. I’m already praying as they try to figure out who they are, and as they one day grapple with some of the realities about their bio parents I can’t tell them right now.

    I pray for their bio parents hoping that they will 1) come to know Jesus and 2) find peace in the decision they made to let my husband and me raise their first borns. It’s a privilege and a gift and a responsibility.

    Beautiful post today.

    • Thank you for opening your hearts to those precious boys. I can only imagine how you must have felt when they expressed the interest in meeting their birth mom and I remember those conversations with my own mom. While I never sought out an intro, hearing my adoptive mom’s thoughts on it bring your comment right to the forefront of my memory. I will be praying right along with you, Jeanne.

  5. This is a wonderful post. I experienced the same thing most of my life because my father left before I was two. i forgave him, prayed for him, never felt the need to search him out. But in my thirties, I began to wonder about him more. I know now that that was a deep longing for God. Even if you have a family, that ache is the Lord reaching out to fill you, though I was a Christian, it has taken me much too long to realize how much my real Heavenly Father was there.

  6. Jen,
    I am the adoptive mother of two precious girls that I (and their deceased father) adopted almost 26 years ago. I would like to thank Donna, their birth mother, but I haven’t been able to find her. My kids say, “you are our mother”, so they haven’t wanted to look. My giris are now 30 and 31, both married and have wonderful lIves with their new husbands. No grandkids yet though! Thank you all who with unselfish sacrifice, give their children up for adoption.
    Thank you Jen for your words.
    Mary

    • Mary – it’s so amazing to hear your story. I am so sorry for the loss of your husband, but to hear your daughters share their love of you, their true mother, is a testament to all the love and devotion you’ve poured into them through the years.

  7. Jen,
    Kudos for being so open & honest on this personal story. God gives us hope in the midst of sacrifices. He can take your brokenness and make beauty out of it!
    Blessings 🙂

  8. I am delighted to see that she put salvation and an encounter with Christ ahead of parental relationship. All of us are adopted by Christ. Her path to realizing/discovering that adoption is special. Her testimony, about it, is worthy of praise and an honour to God’s love for ALL OF US.