How do you say goodbye to home? How do you bid adieu to dear, familiar faces? How do you walk home from the park you have visited on the still-frosty days of spring, the scorching summer mornings, and the twilight afternoons of winter — knowing it is the very last time your feet will follow this familiar path?

Most importantly, how do you say goodbye well?

For much of my life, I rushed through goodbyes. Recently, it occurred to me that I have transitioned to a new state every summer for the past ten years.

That’s a lot of goodbyes. And too often, I barely looked over my shoulder to the people and places I was leaving behind as I hurried on toward a new horizon.

I didn’t leave well.

So, less than two months ago as our family prepared to leave our home of three years to head to a new one almost 2000 miles away, I resolved to leave well.

For the first time, I wanted to say good-bye the right way: with gratitude.

So I visited favorite spots and lingered, savoring the memories. We ate our favorite meals — one last time. And, most importantly, in the midst of the boxes and cleaning, I tried desperately to make lots and lots of time for the friends who had welcomed us without restraint into their hearts and homes.

We gave hugs. We choked back tears.

I wrote notes, trying to so hard to express on paper how months of loving and sharing life together had touched me in the deepest places.

And, then, finally, after all of that, I boarded a plane and said a final goodbye to a city I had grown to love. But I had learned something in the processes of endeavoring to say goodbye well. I had learned that gratitude is at the heart of a good goodbye.

When I rushed off to a new places hardly glancing back, I was essentially forgetting the value of what lay behind me. I was ignoring the experiences that God had used to shape and mold me ever more into His image. I was brushing past dear friends, who had extended compassion, grace, and mercy to me.

I was missing out on seeing all the good gifts I had been given simply because I had forgotten to end each season with gratitude.

I don’t know what your goodbye is right now. It might be a move. Or the end of the semester. Or the final family hugs at the end of the holiday festivities.

What I do know is that we are all saying goodbye, in big ways and small. And before us lies a choice: we can choose the path of ingratitude I know all so well, or we can choose to leave slowly, with intention, and with gratefulness.

We can choose to stop and say the things that our really on our hearts.

We can pause and look back and marvel at how we’ve changed.

We can laugh — and cry — at the memories that we will cherish.

We can leave with gratitude for lives shared, for meals eaten together, for places visited. And ultimately, we can leave with gratitude to the Giver of all good gifts, “who richly provides us with everything to enjoy.” {1 Timothy 6:17}

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Related: With antiquated appeal, these lovely notes are a wonderful way of expressing your heartfelt gratitude to those who have been a blessing in your life!

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