A misty, moist morning in late October. I woke early, too preoccupied to sleep. By nightfall, our son would be married.
I slipped outside with my camera, hoping to settle my nerves. As the mother of the groom, my responsibilities were few. Arrive on time. Sit up front. Bring tissues.
My emotions were less manageable, tossed here and there like fallen leaves. Happiness, sadness, the joy of a new family member, the certainty of change.
Our Matt had chosen wisely — we’d all known and loved Beth since she was eight. She adores books, food, music, and, most of all, our son. All good. No, all wonderful.
Still, for our daughter, Lilly, and for me, a new season had landed on our doorstep. We were gaining a daughter-in-law, a sister-in-law. There would be three Higgs women, instead of just two.
We understood that “a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife” {Genesis 2:24}. Right. He also leaves his siblings, which can be hard for a younger sister — and for an older mother.
Help, Lord.
When Lilly came down for breakfast looking a tad despondent, I suggested a photo shoot, one of our favorite things to do together. Okay, so I’m not a photographer and she’s not a model. Whatever. The shared experience is the best bit.
Skipping makeup to take advantage of the morning light, Lilly stood among the trees and waited.
Looking at our daughter through the camera lens, I saw mirrored in her face much of what I sensed in my own heart.
A slow but sure acceptance. A dawning peace.
“Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days” {Psalm 90:14}.
God had something more for us. Doesn’t He always? As the morning winds began to stir, Lilly’s long hair was soon horizontal, waving in the breeze like victory’s flag.
Freedom. Release. Joy.
We were both set free. Laughing. Tossing aside the old, welcoming the new, knowing that when two became one, we would all be stronger together. “Two are better than one . . . If either of them falls down, one can help the other up” {Ecclesiastes 4:9-10}.
Be comforted, beloved. When change comes into your life, as it surely will, God is deep in the midst of it. He prepares your heart. He tempers your fears. He showers you with His love. He helps you laugh. He sees you through.
Later that day — wild hair well tamed and makeup in place — Lilly was ready to face the future. So was the woman behind the camera.
“Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.” {2 Corinthians 13:11}
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Rachel Nesbitt says
Beautiful message straight from God’s heart to mine.
“Be comforted, beloved. When change comes into your life, as it surely will, God is deep in the midst of it. He prepares your heart. He tempers your fears. He showers you with His love. He helps you laugh. He sees you through.”
I’m facing big changes in my life that pull on my anxieties…but I know God is in them and with me.
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Liz,
Change of any sort is difficult. My children are grown, but I have not witnessed one get married…yet. All through the growing up years we are letting go…cutting apron strings one at a time to release this gift we’ve been given back into the arms of their Heavenly Father who loves them, albeit hard to believe, even more than we do. Your post brought tears to my eyes. I can only imagine what your mother’s heart must have been feeling, but thank you for sharing the joy and hope that can come when we walk with God through it…beautiful!
Bev
Bev
Jenni DeWitt @ Genuflected.com says
“He prepares your heart.” Yes He surely does. Whether the change is good or bad, He sees the future and starts readying us for it. It’s spectacular to look back — especially when the change is scary, big, and sudden — to look at the preceding months or year and see how He was working everything out to prepare your heart and your life in advance.
Shauna Viele says
What a blessing these words are this morning! Thank you for sharing your heart and your voice with the world!
P.S. Your daughter is beautiful, with or without makeup! Wow!
Beth says
I loved and needed this this morning. The winds of change are blowing more for me in things that I need to let go of, in trust that I need to have of God being in control, in daring myself to experience joy even when my life’s loose ends remain untied and I so desperately want to knot them up. I am learning that I can trust Him to know the most intimate details of my heart and mind, and I am seeing that He will speak to me in ways that ease my burdens and let me loose in Him.
Set free. Laughing. Standing strong in the winds of change. Trusting Him to provide what I need on the other side.
Thank you for the wise reminder that He’s got this!
Penny says
Liz,
Thank-you so much for your sweet words of encouragement,
Your daughter is stunning…. I understand the transformation you were portraying. Letting go (change)can be hard, but I believe within my heart the Lord sees us through. Prayers all will be well for your family.
Penny
Devi Duerrmeier says
Thanks for reminding me that I can look for the ways he has prepared my heart.. sometimes that is the toughest thing of all to notice and believe.
Rosie Bachand says
She is beautiful! what joy you have right around you. i do wish, out of curiosity to see the beautiful bride, the third Higgs woman,
Journeymyheart says
What a great perspective! I am astounded how God uses our once itty-bitty children to teach us truths.
JeanneTakenaka says
I’m so glad I’m not the only one who sometimes picks up a camera to find glimpses of God’s glory in a season of change! 🙂 Sometimes it takes getting my eyes off my troubles, off the uncertainty change brings and onto looking for God in the midst of it.
Our boys aren’t marrying age . . . not even close. But I know the day they find their forever love and say their “I do’s” will be hard. May I embrace this change with the grace you conveyed here. May I embrace His hand moving in my life with every change He brings to it. Knowing He’s in the midst of the change does make it a little easier to walk through.
Loved this post, Liz.
Patti says
Thank you – I needed that today!
Beth Williams says
Liz,
Change is hard and never ever easy! The thing to remember is “God’s got this”!! My hubby and I have been through a ton of change these past two years and through it all–though stressful–God was and is there to comfort us!!
Rejoice in the fact that you are gaining a daughter-in-law and friend!
May I recommend Kristen Strong’s new book “Girl Meets Change”! It is a good book about change-by a military wife. She know all to well about change!
Blessings 🙂
Tammy says
Thank you, Liz. This is such a wonderful post.. I’m really touched by it. God bless you and your daughter in this transition. God is showering you with His love and joy, and He will continue to do so… Peace, love, joy, and all good to you and your son and his bride. ❤️
Marge Schaffer says
You have once again stirred our hearts to depend on the Lord to take us thru this earthly journey full of changes, thank you.
Webbgurl2000 says
I think it’s beautiful how your daughter in law wasn’t seen as an intruder in your life. I believe my mother in law could have made a real difference in our marriage had she accepted me into their family. Unfortunately, I felt she thought her son was too good for me.
His family are unbelievers and very enmeshed. I will pray for her from now on instead of seeing her as the enemy.