There’s something about comparison and envy that rises up in me more often than I’d care to admit.
For the most part, I just do my thing. But sometimes, what’s happening in the life of another catches my attention. Everyone’s highlight reel is readily on display on social media. I see it and I envy it. I want to be where the popular people are, doing what the popular people do and eating what the popular people are eating.
But if I’m honest, I don’t envy them as much as I can envy those in my everyday life.
And, I don’t like it . . . not one little bit. It makes me feel sick inside.
I have a friend. We all have “this” friend. We have similar passions and callings. Only she seems to be advancing in those passions and callings. This friend and I actually serve in youth ministry together. But, she is relatively new to serving in this ministry. I’ve been serving in it for almost 10 years.
God has given me opportunities to speak into these lives of these sweet kids. And I am truly grateful for those opportunities. But recently, I have been feeling a little left out. This friend and I lead a high school girls small group, and she is wildly adored and sought after by the girls. The youth pastor has asked her to M.C. and even preach at a few of the youth services.
These are real and valid situations and emotions for many of us. But, I don’t want to camp in this space. I don’t want to become bitter or jaded or resentful or jealous of a sister in the faith. I don’t want to become distracted by what is or isn’t happening with other people. I don’t want to inhibit a move of God in my life. That is the scheme of the enemy. He wants to cause division and disunity.
I will not fall prey to his tactics anymore! Instead, I will remind myself of how to respond when I am tempted to turn a shade of green.
One, we are uniquely created for a work that God uniquely created for us.
“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” {Ephesians 2:10}
I am not you. You are not me. We are not the woman or friend next to us or on the other side of a screen. That’s okay. That’s actually on purpose. God put so much time, effort, energy, thought, and care into crafting us. He desires that each of us communicate, in our own way, His love and purpose to the world around us. There is a specific call that only I can accomplish and a specific call that only you can accomplish. We need to embrace our uniqueness knowing that it is by design.
Two, we have the wrong focus of attention.
“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” {Matthew 6:33}
When running a race, it’s probably not a good idea to look to the left or right or behind you. That would most likely cause you to stumble, or worse yet, fall. It is the same way in this race of faith. We each have our own lanes. There’s a reason why there are lines . . . not to separate us, but to keep us focused on what lies ahead. What lies ahead is Christ. Our greatest achievement will always be to know God and make Him known. That will look different for each of us because each of us is different. When I seek the Lord and His desires for my life, He will take care of the rest.
Three, celebration positions us for elevation.
“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” {Hebrews 10:24-25}
The first part of this verse can be a bit tricky. When I see someone who does what I do, but better, or I see someone who has what I have, then my first instinct is not to encourage them to to do good works. But that is exactly what we’re called to do. We are to celebrate the work of God in and through their lives. We are to call out the purpose in their lives. We are to bless them and believe greatness for them. As we authentically celebrate the successes in the lives of others, God will honor our hearts and position us for His next place of promise in our lives. He will see that we can be trusted with position and influence and blessing.
I want Him to find me trustworthy. Don’t you?
Green is not my color. And it’s not yours either because . . .
We are uniquely created.
We have a race to run.
We are women who celebrate.
Have you been wearing a lot of green lately? How do you combat against envy and comparison?
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Rachael Gilbert says
So good! Thanks for sharing Karina!
Karina Allen says
Thanks Rachael!!!! Have an amazing day!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ruth Ermeling Colross says
Thank you for addressing a very real problem for me and saying it so well. Perhaps the young girls are not seeing what you have to offer at this particular time but in the absence of their understanding, you have touched my heart.
Karina Allen says
Ruth, you just blessed me so! Thank you!
It is a real struggle that I think we often feel ashamed of and so we avoid it and don’t talk about it. I want to bring these feelings into the light so that Jesus can heal them and transform them into feelings that glorify Him.
Praying that your identity is found solely in Christ. Blessings to you sister!
Joanne Dunbar says
WOW!!!! this really hit my heart, Karina. I felt like that was me talking….except I was still focusing on the ‘green’ and not seeing our amazing Lord and His words. Thank you so much for posting this devo, and if that was your life, thank you for sharing. I am trying forever not to be envy or compare myself, and I slip all the time…you are InCouraging, thank you
Karina Allen says
Joanne! Bless you!
This is very much my life right now. I try to remind myself often that God is all about process. He is patient and kind with us.
May you see yourself as Christ sees you, uniquely created for purpose and destiny. May you embrace His call on your life and not be distracted by those around you.
Thank you for sharing!!!!
DeAnna Morris says
Karina… I needed this word. Thank you so much friend! You are a blessing and you inspire me! LOVE and HUGS from SC!!
Karina Allen says
Thank you DeAnna! And Amen!!!
This is right where I am living these days! It’s hard and messy but God is sanctifying me daily. Praying that He continues to show you His purpose for you!
LOVE and HUGS to you from La!!!!
Cathy says
This is such an excellent article, thank-you Karina, for being transparent with us to share how you feel, that takes real courage. I appreciate the advice and your insight on this topic..so many of us can relate to what you experienced. You are an awesome writer.
Karina Allen says
Thank you Cathy for your kind words! The Lord would not let me be anything less than transparent. I have found that is when he works best…when we are honest about our feelings because He knows them anyway.
May God usher you into His glorious plans that He has uniquely designed for you. He is faithful and patient and loving.
Blessings to you!!!!
Sarah S says
One method I’ve used to combat envy is by blessing the person (prayer is a great place to start) who has what I desire even when I might not feel like doing it. Then I thank God for blessing that person. It’s a sacrifice…and one He honors. On a side note, while green used to be my color, and is no longer, grey is now my color of choice. Because love does it’s best work in the grey area’s. When life gets messy and people (myself included) make poor choices, love has the opportunity to step in and make the most difference. So Grey is my reminder to act in love no matter the circumstances. Nice work Karina!
Karina Allen says
Love that Sarah!!!!
I think I might start wearing some grey! Prayer and celebration go hand in hand. It’s a beautiful dance that the Lord is very willing to join in on.
Thank you for sharing! Blessings to you!
Aimee says
Beautiful and honest post!
Karina Allen says
Thank you friend!!!!! I try to stay honest so that the Lord can move in that space.
I love you! Thanks for sharing!!!!
Doris Swift says
What a relevant topic for us girls! Thanks for sharing your heart and this important truth Karina.
Karina Allen says
You are so welcome Doris!
My you always fix your eyes on Christ and the lane that He has placed you in. He purpose for you are unique and well thought out. May God bless you as you cheer on those around you.
Thank you for sharing!!!!
Tonya McJunkin Johnson says
Good stuff, friend! Thanks for being so transparent. We live in a society where comparison and competition are THE way of life, and it’s so hard when you’re not the one “winning.” I love the example you gave of running a race and looking anywhere but ahead. Your honesty is inspiring! Keep on keeping on and focusing in THE PRIZE!
Karina Allen says
Thank you friend!!!!!
God won’t let me get away with being anything less than transparent! Yeah, I often feel like I am not the one “winning”. I tend to move behind the scenes in not a flashy, boisterous gifting. I love how God created me, but in the natural, it can be hard. I can get distracted if I take my eyes off of the goal of Christ. Praying that stay focused on Him and His work that that He created for me. I pray that for you as well my friend!
I love you! And thank you for sharing! Blessings to you!!!
Beth Williams says
Karina,
In this day of social media it is so easy to get caught up in the envy trap. One thing I do is make a list of all the things (big or small) that I am thankful for-or a worry I don’t have. In that way I see all the blessings God has bestowed upon me!
God has given us each different talents to use for His kingdom. If we use them wisely we should advance His kingdom and help more people to come to know Christ!
Blessings 🙂
Karina Allen says
Beth, I love that!
Counting our blessings definitely changes our perspectives and strengthens our call to further His Kingdom.
Thank you for sharing!
Jessica Holvik says
Thanks so much for this post. It’s so good to know that I’m not alone in my struggles with being ok with me no matter how “me” looks compared to others. Sometimes I find I get annoyed with another person for no really apparent reason, in particular with the people I spend the most time with. I think deep down, it’s because I feel like the person is thinking too highly of themselves. like they don’t understand “their place”. Of course, in the ugly dark spot in my heart, that really has to do with where I find my own value, and my selfish desire to be better than others. Yet the Bible tells us to consider others better than ourselves. Your reminder to build eachother up to good works is a convicting message for me today. Next time I start to turn green, I will choose to encourage instead. For all of us, our “place” is as a loved, beautiful, and gifted child of God. What a world we would live in if we could all see ourselves that way and take joy in the way God made us! I will aim to build that into the people around me. Blessings!
Karina Allen says
Jessica! Sorry it’s taken me so long to respond! Thank you so much for sharing!
You are most definitely not alone sister! I get annoyed easily too! That is partially why I am glad that I have many friend circles. I have to be uber intentional in not letting myself turn green and to celebrate my friends that I can become jealous of.
Know that I cheer you on in your journey to build that truth into others. It is a beautiful thing!!!!!
Blessings to you!!!!