My son’s birthday is always on the first day of summer, June 21. He is our third and last child, our first boy. He was our straggler child, joining the family nine summers after his sisters. But he was chosen. Prayed for. Wanted at that exact moment in time.
I was worried about having a boy because I thought of myself as a girl mom.
I didn’t know a thing about being a boy mom. I thought boys were about bugs and snakes and I wasn’t at all experienced with those sorts of things. Silly me. God just smiled on me and said not to worry, you’ll adore him, bugs and all, and he’ll adore you, inexperience and all. You are the right mom for him, you’ll see.
He was an adorable curly headed blond boy with an impish grin and the biggest brown eyes you ever did see. While he was strong and independent, he was still a mama’s boy. When he was just a few years old, he sobbed on my shoulder after discovering I was already married to his daddy and he’d have to find his own wife someday. I held him tenderly and treasured that moment, knowing I would smile really big about it when he was a teen and I wasn’t as wonderful as he thought I was.
Eighteen summers of childhood will fly by quickly when you are raising kids to be adults.
Family life is busy and full and crazy. Memories of sand in toes and diapers and hair will blur into memories of waving good-bye to a brave boy through a mama’s tears at the summer camp drop-off.
I knew all along that I needed to soak in each moment as it happened, summers filled with bike riding, scraped knees, treasure hunts, sprinklers, water guns, ice cream cones, beach trips, basketball, playing in the park, backyard campouts with his dogs and his dad, and family s’mores around the fire pit because the bittersweet truth is those days never seem nearly enough when you look back on the fourteen summers quickly becoming a memory of days gone by.
Just four summers left. Now that the curly headed boy has turned into a strong handsome teen, so I brace myself knowing full well the days ahead will sometimes feel painfully long. But you figure out after raising two teens already that the days will not always feel nearly long enough. Eighteen years isn’t enough to get a boy ready to be a man, let alone enough time to prepare to be a mama to let him go.
But you do the best you can. Some days you just fall on your knees and pray for his soul and his steps because even though you know your role as his protector will evolve as fast as you witnessed those little boy shoulders broaden and squeaky adorable voice deepening, you will always, always be his fiercely protective but soft-hearted mama. Your heart is head over heels for this boy, even when he doesn’t see it or want to believe it. He is your earthly treasure to have and to hold and to eventually let go.
Sometimes through tears and sometimes through laughter you thank God that He gave this gift to you.
You just want to hold that little boy a little tighter while you learn to gently let him go. You pray for God’s grace and mercy as you raise your boy-turned-young-man up with arms wide open, trusting who he is and will become to the One who loves him more.
I have four summers left to be a mama of a teen. That thought leaves me a little weak in the knees, but I want to treasure each and every moment of the summers we have left. I sometimes pray for that day, many summers from now, when he’ll kneel before God at the altar to ask another girl to be his wife. I’ll know I’ll look over at him and wink through teary eyes to let him go. But until that day, we’ll treasure each summer we have together while we work on taking out the trash without reminders and other habits I know his wife will someday thank us for.
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Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Melissa,
What a beautiful reflection on motherhood – and particularly in mothering boys. I was an only child, and obviously a girl, so I didn’t know the first thing about being a mom to a boy who would grow to be a young man…but God was patient and He led me to lead him. My son is 22, and though he’d never admit it, there are sometimes when he just needs and wants his mom. Even though we launch them into the world and learn to let go…boys will always know, in the tough world of men, there is always a tender place called mom.
Blessings,
Bev
Amy M says
Oh, this makes me all teary! I’m still at the diapers stage, but I have several friends with older boys, and already the days with my little guy are feeling like not quite enough. I wasn’t prepared for what a gift this time would feel like!
Faith says
Lovely thoughts, Melissa. I have 3 boys of my own, all in their twenties now, and those years seemed to flash by in seconds. What a blessing to be their mother; each and every day I thank God for them.
Lisa @ The Warming House says
Melissa, my heart resonates with this. We raised two, allowed them to follow God’s plan to go to college 10 hours away from home where they’ve recently graduated, gotten jobs, and stayed. My heart misses them deeply. We have one son still at home for two more years. We treasure every moment in these waning days. Parenthood is tough at times but such a privilege and blessing. Like you, I have cherished being a momma.
Brenda says
I didn’t think that I knew a thing about being a boy-mom either…girly-girl that I am. But, God is so generous as to give us exactly what we don’t even know that we want.
Twenty summers ago He gave me my first of three sons, and they teach me every day what a joy it is to be a boy mom. (And, maybe someday they’ll give me some granddaughters too. 🙂 )
Lovely post, thank you for sharing. 🙂
melissa @ theinspiredroom says
He sure is good at giving us good gifts, even when we didn’t realize what we needed or wanted! Sons are a blessing and I’m so grateful God gave us this one!
Camille says
I am a ‘boy mom’ if two sweethearts.. I am currently pregnant and waiting to see
If God has kept me a boy mom or if I get to experience a girl..I always said I wanted two boys and a girl, so I sort of feel like why wouldn’t it be a girl you know? 🙂 Either way I am extremely blessed to be a mama.. And look forward to cherishing every season with these special souls.
melissa @ theinspiredroom says
Congratulations! 🙂
Camille says
Thank you 🙂
Experienced Bad Mom says
I needed to read this today! I sent my own boy off to his first week at sleep away camp yesterday. In all the emotions I’ve felt this past 24 hours, I really felt in a way that it is God’s first step in preparing me to let him go to college and then out into the world one day.
melissa @ theinspiredroom says
WAHAHA!!! I know the feeling. My boy has been going to summer camps for quite a few years and I still cry to see him walk away!!
srvnGod says
I have four girls and my heart feels ever the same way about them. My oldest just graduated from high school. Bittersweet days for a momma heart. Beautiful reflection here of yours.
Heather Lapierre says
This was so beautiful & Such a Blessing to read!!! Loved every word!
Leighellen says
And now I’m crying! This is SUCH a perfect description of what it means to be the Momma of boys. I have 3 and my eldest is heading into his senior year of High School. I still am startled when he walks into the room and he’s 6’4″ and 210 lbs…when I fully expect him to still be that mop headed, giggly faced toddler. It’s crushing how fast the time really does go. This month we have watched him grow so much – getting his drivers license, opening his first checking account, receiving his first paycheck. So many milestones that lead him towards independence. It is a blessing, but still hard to realize. The cool thing is that I am still needed in so many ways, even though he is gaining more and more independence. I see glimpses of what our relationship will look like into the future. He comes to me for advice. He shares joys of his work day and successes in his athletic endeavors. He seeks me for prayer and asks for consolation during trials. There is comfort to know that yes, they grow and leave, but they will ALWAYS need their Mommas.
melissa @ theinspiredroom says
AHH! They do grow too fast, but it is wonderful to see them becoming who they were created to be and knowing our investment in them was worth every moment.
Deena Marie says
I’ve been doing the teen thing for 11 summers and this is my last one. The little brother of my three girl turned 19 just a month and a half ago. Last summer he spent fighting California’s wilderness fires. This summer he chose summer school…so I’m being thankful for my last summer with my man child home. (At least he gets his UPS here). His fire station boots just got delievered, so I know my daily hug times are limited. Enjoy!
Penny says
Deena,
That is really courageous of your son. We deal with them in our area too. Thank-you to your son and those like him that are out there battling these fires.
jenn miller says
grab all the tissues : (
Penny says
How sweet and sad Melissa all at the same time. Thank-you for sharing your heart with us……
Patti says
Today is June 22, which is my son’s 14th birthday. We homeschool, so he and I have spent quite a bit of time together this year, much of it battling
growing pains. However, when I look past the differences in us, I see a young man who really loves the Lord and wants to please Him. And with God”s grace, will be a Godly leader in his home and his nation one day, in the not too distant future. Looking back, I wouldn’t have taken a million dollars for our struggle. We are stronger, and closer for it. Thanks for your encouraging words.
Melissa Ward says
This brought tears to my eyes as my oldest is a senior and next year will be his last summer with us as he is planning to leave for the air force sometime late summer /fall:/ I am so proud of him but it is hard to let go ……as God has so far just blessed me with boys I have several summer’s with the rest of them but I think letting go of my oldest will be the hardest ….he has grown into a handsome wonderful young man
Marty says
This is a beautiful post, and I’m all teary. If 18 years is not enough, and it’s not, 19 is not any better. We are preparing to send our youngest off to college in just a couple of months…it hasn’t been enough time. Not by a long-shot. But we’ve been down this road before…he’s the youngest of 4. He is ready…I am not. I hate it and I love it all at the same time…these growing pains. So thankful that in the midst of all the changes, God never changes. Thank you for sharing your heart in this post.
Beth Williams says
Beautiful story Melissa. Letting go of children can be hard. You work so long & hard to raise them right only to let them out in this big bad world. Treasure all the time you have with them!
Blessings to you!