An invitation from one of the (in)courage writers would effectively change the way I looked at friendships forever. Holley Gerth had a new book coming out called You’re Made for a God-sized Dream and was looking for 100 people to join her launch team.
I love Holley’s writing, so I applied. On November 14, 2012 I got an email that I didn’t expect . . . I had made the team! I was honored and excited to get a copy of her book and was looking forward to blogging about it. The gift of friendships was the last thing I thought I would walk away with as a part of this team.
You see, I am an introvert through and through.
Making friends, especially new ones, can be frightening at times. From my perspective you all have it so together, and me? Well, the mirrored view of myself doesn’t seem to reflect a woman that could possibly measure up.
Four years ago our family made a move to Minnesota. We love our new community. We live on a cul-de-sac with lots of kids and an annual block party. And we were fortunate enough to find a church we loved right away.
While so many things came together after our move, making friends was and has not been easy. I am as much to blame as anyone else. I have this secret wish that people would just find me funny or charming and want to be around me, and would just invite me into their lives.
The reality is I don’t take the first step either. I don’t make a call to invite someone to my home, I don’t initiate a conversation. It is hard for me, uncomfortable even, and I tend to shy away from anything that isn’t “easy.”
It is a lonely way to live, wanting community so badly and unsure or unable to make it a reality.
But God knew my secret longings for friendship, and He provided it in the most unconventional way through this launch team.
Had someone told me that I would find soul sisters online, I would have laughed at them.
But that is exactly what happened.
Holley encouraged us to share our stories as a part of this launch team, so I shared bits and pieces of who I am, but because we didn’t gather in person, it didn’t feel so vulnerable.
As time passed, these friendships grew.
We shared hopes and dreams. Several of us formed a Mastermind group to encourage one another in our writing. It was a safe place — a place that I could be me without judgment.
Out of the most unexpected and completely God-led circumstances, several of us joined to start a website that seeks to support and cheer on other God-sized Dreamers. And in April of 2014, we gathered together as a team for a retreat in Houston.
These sisters of mine met in person. We laughed as we shared stories and a tub full of Nutella. Ten of us shared two bathrooms and survived! We stayed up late, prayed over one another, and cried big tears when the weekend was over.
While I don’t see most of these women more than once, if at all, each year — they are my lifeline.
Certainly having them in my close community here would be ideal, but since it isn’t the case, I am grateful that God has provided other ways we can stay connected — using the internet, email, and Voxer.
It isn’t the most conventional of friendships, but it is a blessing.
When I’m having a hard day, I can send out a message to these women, and they’ll pray for me. They hold me accountable and challenge me to walk out my faith. And they bring laughter and comic relief into my difficult moments.
While I still long for in-person friendships, I am grateful that God has provided these unconventional friendships in my life today.
I used to believe that friendships had to look a certain way to be “successful,” but I am finding that God can and will use every circumstance to gather His daughters together. And when He does, it is good, it is ever good!
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Related: For those special friendships in your life, send a beautiful note of encouragement in the mail with this Good Friend & Good Book set of note cards.
Leave a Comment
cmclaire says
What a lovely post. What a true gift friendship is!
Kristin Smith says
Thank you so much! 🙂
Debbie says
Amen!! You go girl!! 🙂 I know I struggle with the same ‘uncomfortable’ feeling. Almost feels like high school sometimes. I am so thankful God has given me just a few women whom I can totally be myself with. Thank you for sharing !
Kristin Smith says
Debbie – I know right?! And I HATED high school! Ugh, why even at 40 does this have to be hard?! 🙂 But yes we can be so grateful that God provides just what we need!!
Christine Wright says
Grateful for your friendship (and voxes! Ha!). You are a blessing to so many and it has been a joy to watch you soar! Love you!
Kristin Smith says
C – I don’t know how I would have “survived” the past 2 years without you as a part of it! 🙂 You have been such a gift to me!!
Christine Wright says
And you as well!! Thank you for all the prayers, friend. Hugs and Nutella all around! 🙂
KristinHillTaylor says
I love this. And you. xoxo
Kristin Smith says
Thanks friend!! So glad I have another Kristin with an i in my corner! 🙂
Alecia Simersky says
The gift of friendship even in unconventional ways is a pleasant and welcome surprise. I’m so glad you were on that launch team. Look how far we’ve come since then! Only God!
Kristin Smith says
Oh I know….sometimes I can’t even believe all the things God has done! 🙂
Jennifer Hand says
girl I am so blessed to call you friend. I love this post and I love you! I was so honored to be your God Sized Dream buddy
Kristin Smith says
What a gift it was to be paired with you…only God knew what would happen a few years later! How amazing to be a part of it!
Meredith Bernard says
This is such a beautiful display of God’s goodness and grace, Kristin. You are such a blessing to so many and I’m glad to know this part of your story. It’s amazing how God works in ways we would never see coming and all to and for His glory. This is the best example of just that! Love you and love your heart and encouraging soul. xoxo
Kristin Smith says
And I am so grateful that our paths crossed, and to have you as a part of the GSD site now…a gift friend!
Katie Reid says
Yes this, “I am as much to blame as anyone else. I have this secret wish that
people would just find me funny or charming and want to be around me,
and would just invite me into their lives.” Such a joy to see you over here Kristin. You are a blessing to me. Thank you for sharing your heart so that we can be encouraged.:)
Kristin Smith says
Thanks for cheering me on Katie!! You are a blessing to me as well! 🙂
Kim S says
Kristin, what a sweet post, and aren’t our online turned IRL friends the best? Thanks so much for sharing!
Kristin Smith says
Kim – YES! Who knew right?! 🙂 I think people may still think it is crazy…but I have seen the fruits first hand! 🙂
Holley Gerth says
I’m so glad God connected us, Kristin! I treasure your friendship and love your encouraging heart! You are gift!
Kristin Smith says
Holley, you brought us together and I will be eternally grateful for being a part!!
Angeleyes says
It is reassuring to me to hear from others with similar challenges, who are open to sharing their story, and to see and hear how God works things for good in their lives. It is faith affirming. He is so good to those who are faithful to Him. God bless you!
Kristin Smith says
Thank you! God does work it for good and while there are still challenges, there is also such good happening as well!! So there is hope! 🙂
Rosanne says
I love this Kristin! I’m so glad I met you on the launch team! God has a way of guiding us to friends in the most unusual places! 🙂
Kristin Smith says
Yes Rosanne – so glad that God connected us tis way! I have been on other launch teams and I can tell you that none of them have led to community like ours did!!
Julie Wilson says
Kristin, so blessed to call you friend, even if I am a voxer failure! The blessings from that team continue to unfold in life! Appreciated your words today!
Kristin Smith says
Julie you make me laugh!! No failure, just not your preferred method of communication! 🙂 Miss you and wish we would all be at Allume again so we could hang out together!!
Bloomingange says
I too live in MN and have had a hard time finding friends. I am very outgoing but being a stay at home mom in my community is not that common. All of my friends work so I spend my days at home alone, missing friendship. thank you for this post, hoping and praying for some nconventional friendships!
Kristin Smith says
I am praying for you!! It is SO hard isn’t it? Especially when we don’t have the same type of schedules that others do. So many of the women that are here are stay at home/homeschool moms and because I work FT it IS hard to connect. I think the thing I am realizing is that I need to make it a priority…schedule a girls night out once a month, maybe the more we do something like that the easier it will get!
Beth Williams says
Kristen,
My hubby is an introvert and it is hard for him to form friendships also. I am a little bit of an introvert, but God has given me some really good close covenant friendships. I share everything with one friend in particular. We call each other almost daily–at least two or more times a week. We talk at church. Right now she is going through a hard time. Please pray for her as her dad is in ICU and dying. Her mother died on Thanksgiving last year. She has had 1.5 bad years.
Thanks for the post about making friends even if through the internet!
Blessings 🙂
Kristin Smith says
Beth – Yes I will be praying! I am so very sorry to hear that your friend is struggling. What a gift you are to walk her through these times so she isn’t alone! May God give you the words/ways to best comfort her during this time!!
sherbie says
Wow ! I truly thank you for these words.
For the past 6 months, i’ve felt like the only person I know that truly desires… craves… longs for. …community.
The pain that I have experienced at the hands of other Christians has left the bitter feeling that His “Body” has been dismembered.
It is encouraging and hopeful to believe… that it still exists, somewhere.
I sincerely thank you.
<3
Kristin Smith says
I am so so sorry that you have been hurt. It is even worse when it is someone that claims to be a Christian! Unfortunately we see that all too often I think. Even Christians are selfish, self-centered, hurting….and sometimes (even I) can act in ways that goes against the very character of who Christ made us to be. It can be hard to trust again after you are hurt, but I hope that God gives you the strength to try!!
I am praying that God will comfort you with peace and bring a few women into your life that can offer some true community. I love my “unconventional” friends…they are such a blessing, but I also need that companionship in real life, in person too. That is still lacking a little, but I am seeing promises of it recently. It is going to take some work on my part, but hopefully if we are brave we will find the reward!! Wish you were closer and we could walk through that together!!
{{Hugs friend}}
Sherbie =) says
Thank you for your kindness, Kristin ♡
Usually, I’m the one to see the silver lining in everything. ..
People have come to expect that of me.
That’s what makes it so difficult to be real and raw and open… and wounded.
I truly appreciate your sincerity, and I will pray for relationships that magnify your strengths, and graciously cover your weakness.
♡
If you ever visit DC, I’ll treat you to a cup of hot chocolate =)
Kristin Smith says
Sherbie – I have friends in the DC and surrounding area….maybe I can somehow connect you. Not sure where you are exactly but maybe there would be an opportunity for a local connection?! I sent you a friend request on FB! 🙂