We’re sitting on the back screen porch, with kids happily playing and watching the ducks on the pond. My baby girl cruises over to where I’ve eaten something, a crumb leftover on my plate, and in whining and reaching lets me know — in no uncertain terms — that she wants what I have.
Her daddy reaches over to redirect her to something else, laughing, saying “She isn’t even hungry! She only wants it because someone else has it.”
I can’t unstick what he said from my heart.
How many times have I whined for something someone else has? How often have I reached for something given to another, simply because they have it and I want it?
In this technology-driven-and-saturated world, not only do others have things we want, the things they have are displayed for all the see. Book deals aren’t secrets. Beautiful families are posted on walls. Opportunities and great ideas are shared right in public. It can get really hard to see others living lives — or parts of their lives — that we want.
But.
Is it the book deal what we really desire? Do we really want that opportunity, that podcast, that level of internet fame? Sure, but I think it’s also deeper than that.
I think the actual desire of our heart is probably more that we want to be known. To be heard. To be loved. We want to be seen, to be invited, to be joyful.
And no eBook can give us that.
“Take delight in the Lord,
and He will give you the desires of your heart.”
{Psalm 37:4}
I struggled with this verse when — for three years — we tried to have a baby. It was a desire of my heart, I just knew it. We were finally expecting, and then miscarriage. Those were dark days, friends, and there was little delight to take. But even then. I had been banking on other things {babies} to make me delight-full when He was already offering Himself to delight me.
Years later we have two beautiful children, and two more waiting for us to meet them in heaven. Have there been more things — smaller things, big things, everyday things — that I was convinced were desires of my heart since those delight-less days? YES. Are there things that I would love that seem to come easily, seemingly undeserved even, to other people? YES.
And is the Lord there for me to delight in all the while? YES.
I’m learning that taking delight in the Lord doesn’t mean being happy all the time. It’s deeper than that. It’s delighting in His small and everyday and good gifts — those ducks on our backyard pond, the sparkle in my daughter’s eyes, my son choosing a grocery store bouquet to bring me.
It’s enjoying the gifts He has given me, not bitterly coveting the gifts He’s given others. It’s loving Him more than I want things — finding joy in Him, in who He is, and praying that my desires for my life would match His.
Sometimes I give in to the things my children beg for: a bite of this treat, staying up a little later to do something special, or a sticker just because. But other times I know it’s not the best thing for them and I say no. It makes no sense to them and they pitch a good fit, and though it sometimes breaks my heart, I stand strong. In those moments, my desire for their lives doesn’t match theirs, and that is ok. They don’t get it, it hurts me, but it is ok because it’s the right thing for them. I want them to delight in what they have, delight in our family, and delight in the little things around them because each is a gift, and they’re learning.
So am I.
How do you take delight in the Lord when it’s hard?
How do you wait for the desires of your heart?
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Anna,
It is truly hard sometimes to be in a period of waiting…especially on things that you are pretty certain are in God’s will. For a long time I have been waiting for my son to come to know Jesus as his Savior and no longer walk a prodigal path. Am I envious when the college graduation announcements come in the mail and I know full well my son would be graduating this spring had he stayed in college? Yes. Do I see people around me with plenty and then see pictures of my dear sweet children in the Christian School in Pakistan with nothing and get angry…Yes. Do I feel the arms of my sweet and caring husband around me when I grieve and thank God…Yes. I am learning, that even in the midst of pain I can delight in the Lord. It’s hard but I remind myself that regardless of circumstances, God is always good. Thank you for this very timely reminder to keep my eyes focused on Him and not the disappointments that surround me. Lord, help me to see you and to delight in you when it’s hard…
Blessings,
Bev
Amen Bev! I to am struggling with waiting on God, I am learning that He is in control and knows what is best for me. However it is very hard and I find myself asking Him WHY?? I pray that God will hear me and speak to me. Help me God to be still and wait for you.
I too am waiting on God and my son to choose Him and the path God has for him. It is hard, but I know that God is good and loves him more than I do! I need to open my eyes and delight in all God has given and is.
I so needed to hear this today. I have been trying really hard to not get bitter when my friends get engaged with no troubles after 6 months of dating, and I’m still in my long distance relationship, two years later, waiting on God’s timing. I am comforted just to know that there are others feeling the same way, in the same position. God has been speaking to me the whole time about putting Him first, and I have seen glimpses of His absolute jealous passion and affection for me when I DO put Him first in my heart, but it is so easy to revert back to “but God, I want to be married now!!” Thank you for showing me I’m not alone and giving me the encouragement I needed today 🙂
Wow! This was so timely for me! I was just praying thank you to God this morning for so many things and found myself praying for a desire of my heart that He hasn’t fulfilled. It just reminded me to keep soaking in the day to day little moments, like being outside barefoot in this beautiful weather with my daughter, my growing tummy with a little one outside, a wonderful, very kindhearted husband, husband and much more. The desires of my heart do not go unnoticed, but they may take a little bit more time to come, and that’s okay!
Good word! Sometimes the desires are things that I know are not really a big deal but I make them a big deal in my rush to consume. Immediate gratification comes to mind. Oh how we appreciate things/relationships all the more when we’ve gone through the struggle of waiting though. Or sometimes God even changes our desires in the waiting and we realize looking back why those desires never came to pass and we are thankful. Great article! Thanks for sharing.
This was written just for where in this moment. I’ve recently, as in 3 days ago, been made aware that the anger I feel when I see married couples happily together or babies to moms pregnant for the 3rd or 4th time, is a sin of jealousy for me.
I’m 43, never been married, no children. I’m a teacher and I work in children’s ministry at my church so I’m around families and children all of the time. I love working with them, I have a very maternal heart, and I can’t understand why God hasn’t given me these things. It’s very painful because I love Jesus wth all of my heart yet I haven’t been able to say Lord, if I never have those things, I’m satisfied with you. It’s hard as well in the church world when 99% of ministry is geared towards families with children.
This encouraged me and I will print it and read it again and again until I can somehow gain the peace in knowing that Jesus is all I need.
(((( HUG ))))
Unfulfilled desires can indeed be painful as it is also a very real experience in my life. Yet it is in coming to our Lord again and again in the midst of that pain in obedience to that call to take delight in Him that gradually reduces that pain and brings comfort and strength for each new day.
Hugs to you. Am saying a prayer for you.
Melanie,
Let God be the desire of your heart for now! I will pray about God sending someone your way. Perhaps God is keeping you single to be able to work in these ministries. He may be refining you and making you and your future spouse ready for each other.
Prayers and ((((hugs))))
This awakens the heart to what truly matters. Despite the hard delight in all that is good that God has done for me.
Oh friend love this….and YOU!! Thank You!!
Good, hard truth, friend. Good, hard truth.
I needed this today. My boys have been acting out in many ways in tough ways. I know I can delight in Christ, but often I keep my eyes too long on the things that are happening in my home. Then I can get destructive in my thoughts and words. Very, very, good word.
((Hugs))
Ugh – the whole waiting thing has been so heavy on my heart. My problem is I fill my life with other things so I can distract myself from the waiting and often times, I am sure I have not been able to learn the lesson God wants me to learn. It would be like distracting myself by counting teeth in the belly of the fish instead of listening to God! But God is faithful and He holds me again and again until I learn that lesson! Thanks for this story of hope Dear Friend! Love you so!
Angie, I so relate to your comment about distracting yourself by doing other things. I hadn’t realized that I do that, but I do! And your analogy of counting teeth while in the belly of the fish instead of listening to God is spot on. Thank you for sharing and may we both do less distracting and more listening and learning!
Always wanting more can be a thief which robs us of appreciating & enjoying what God has already blessed us with. We can lose our focus on God if we are constantly pursuing more things. Choosing to delight in the Lord involves making the choice everyday to celebrate Him. – His love, goodness, mercy, etc.
I love the Bible verse. I have learned my desires through making goals and seeing what are priorities in my life. That has taken me being alone, independent, and Christian. And I am away from my closest family and friends. Agape Love: Love for the Father first, spouse or significant other second, children and extended family first. J.O.Y. = Jesus first, others second, yourself last. F.R.O.G. = Fully rely on God. A.C.T.S. = Pray with Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication. Since I have let go of my past problems and given them to God, it is easier to see my true desires. My desires do match Jesus…He is my matchmaker! And I am a Disciple of Christ. God bless you all!
Delighting in your delight, Anna sitting on the back screen porch with your husband and kids. The simple things, the simplest things…aahhh…how delightful.
We were doing well when the 2008 Crash came. We learned just how much is “need” and how much is “want or desire”. I have now retired and share my life with the love of my life off the treadmill of life. We appreciate each other and that God has allowed us to remain together though we’ve both had life threatening medical issues. We enjoy the birds feeding outside and the squirrels playing. The most beautiful flowers this Spring after a tough Winter. We now move slow enough to savor those things we use to rush right by. God is good!
Thank you for this. How did you know to keep trying to conceive? After trying for three years and having a miscarriage, did the thought ever cross your mind that maybe God wasn’t going to bless you with a living child and how did you keep having hope in the Lord, without getting lost in the hope of your desire? I’m struggling because we have four years of secondary infertility and multiple miscarriages. Some have told me that because I still have the desire that God is still planting hope in Him for the fulfillment of this desire to have another living child. I struggle with not letting trying to conceive become an idol before the worship of my Lord.
Sorry – My question came off as being snarky and it was really an honest question! Basically, how did you know keep trying through the years?
You were totally not snarky! =)
I think for the first year, it wasn’t a huge deal. We weren’t charting, doing infertility treatments or anything, we were just not trying to prevent pregnancy. Then the next year, we really realized it hadn’t happened yet and decided to start on the road of infertility tests, slowly and as we were able. After some time, my husband and I made a big move, both in location and career, and babies weren’t absolutely center stage, but we continued the testing until one day, pregnant! I carried that baby until 11 weeks when we found that it had stopped growing around 5wks. My body needed a break to heal, and then about nine months later I became pregnant with my now 3yo son. It was almost two years after his birth when I had the second miscarriage, and then another seven-ish months when I became pregnant with my now 1yo daughter.
Our journey was slow, and I think that’s what allowed God to work, to heal, to bring joy and delight back. He used the other things happening in our life to be ‘big’, which helped my desire for kids to not overwhelm. But somedays were really, really hard. I would get angry at other people who had babies so easily and flippantly. I turned down invitations to baby showers and baptisms because my heart couldn’t take it. There were those days too.
I wish there was some formula that I could tell you to follow, but it’s all you and Him, girl. I’ll be praying for you, for peace and comfort and joy, and for delight to come.
The Lord sent your words to me today. Thank you so very much!
Altho I am a few days late to the party, reading this today was perfect timing for me. Thank you so much for sharing your insights. This blessed and encouraged me!
I have prayed for the desires of my heart for a while now. I would whine and tell God that my desire would be the answer to all my problems at the time. Since then I have learned to stop & thank God for what I have. Really treasure everything I have big or small and tell Him how much I need and love Him in my life right now.
Been going through a rough few years with aging parent and work stresses both me and hubby! So Praising God in the Storm!!
Blessings 🙂
How very timely this is for my soul
I have questions, I have been going through some really rough stuff concerning the desires of my heart as well… A couple years ago, three different times, I was prophesied over — all three prophesies said God wanted to fulfill my crushed hopes in some way. Three different people said this over me. And none of them knew what was going on in my heart. I was even told I needed to believe it would happen, or it would not. That scared me.
I have had feelings for my best friend for five years. He led me to Christ around the time I realized I saw him as more than a friend, we knew eachother for a year beforehand. I never had feelings for anyone before, so they went deep and they have stayed deep, in spite of our attempts to drown them — my friend has made it clear to me that he will never date me, that he wants to be with his ex. To believe God will give me the desire of my heart, to me, means indulging in false hope, yet again, that God will somehow change the heart of this boy to love me. That in itself seems selfish and I’m certain at this point that it will never happen. I used to believe. But now, I know better. At least, that’s what I tell myself.
I don’t want someone else. I have a very hard time finding any other guy attractive. I wanted my best friend, I love who he is and his godly qualities, in spite of his not-so-great parts too that need growth. So I don’t know what else God would give me. I have lost all hope for my heart’s desires.