A sunny Friday morning. My husband and I were traveling to an event in North Carolina, where I was scheduled to speak.
When our plane landed in Charlotte, two voicemail messages appeared on Bill’s phone — one from his father and one from the nursing home where his sweet mother was fighting a losing battle with cancer.
As Bill listened to the first message, his face went ashen. I waited for the news, certain what it would be, praying I was mistaken.
I was not.
“Mom passed away this morning at 6:45.”
Tears pooled in my eyes. I’d known my precious mother-in-law longer than I’d known my own mother. How could Mary Lee Higgs be gone?
As the plane taxied toward the gate, Bill and I consoled one another with a jumble of words, none of which made sense. We were comforted knowing she had stepped into the arms of her Savior and was free from pain. But it was still hard. So hard.
Moments later, we rolled our luggage into the concourse, realizing a decision had to be made.
Weeks earlier we’d discussed the possibility of this happening and decided that, if we were traveling to an event when the news came, Bill would fly home and I would stay and speak, then join him as soon as possible.
It seemed like a good plan then.
It felt like a terrible plan now.
The only place I wanted to be was home with Bill, his father, and our grown children. I longed to comfort each of them, help with arrangements, serve however I could.
But I had promises to keep. A hard-working committee had planned two years for this event, and five hundred women were already headed for the church. I couldn’t bear to call them and say, “Sorry. Won’t be there.”
Would they have understood? Of course. Could they have arranged for another speaker to fly in at the last minute? Not easily.
Bill insisted I press on. “Go and speak, Liz. I’ll take care of everything. And you’ll be home by dinnertime tomorrow.”
I nodded. It was a shorter-than-average trip. But this wasn’t about being practical. This was about being where God wanted me to be.
Then the answer came, swift and sure. God had always known how this day would unfold. Nothing about our difficult situation was a surprise to Him.
He who is over all and through all and in all can handle all.
I put Bill on a return flight, called the church to alert them to the situation, then waited in baggage claim, my heart heavy.
Within minutes a stranger appeared bearing a sign with my name on it. Her expression was tender, her arms open. “We’re so grateful you came, Liz. The committee is already praying for you.”
That evening we agreed not to share my family’s loss with the audience, fearing it might put a damper on the weekend.
But God had a different plan.
By Saturday morning, reality had sunk in. Seated in the front row, I struggled through the opening worship session, dabbing my eyes constantly. By the time we reached “Great Is Thy Faithfulness,” my tears were flowing nonstop.
“You’re next, Liz,” the woman in charge whispered.
Help, Lord. I walked onto the platform, turned to face the audience, and broke down. For a full minute all I could do was blow my nose, while women hurried up the steps offering tissues.
I had nothing to give, nothing to say. But God was there.
He dried my tears, gave me the needed words to honor my mother-in-law’s passing, then filled me with a strength I knew was not my own. He straightened my shoulders, lifted my head, steadied my voice. As I spoke about His gift of grace, a renewed sense of energy flowed through my broken and leaky vessel.
The audience was clearly aware of what was happening. I saw it on their faces and felt the same sense of wonder. Later the woman in charge said in amazement, “Liz, you got stronger with every word. It had to be the Holy Spirit.”
Yes, it had to be. Because it surely wasn’t me.
The lesson I learned that weekend? It was not this: If you ever need Him, God will be there for you. Oh, no. It was this: God is always there for you, even before you know you need Him.
“My grace is enough; it’s all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.” {2 Corinthians 12:9, MSG}
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Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Liz,
My condolences about the loss of your dear mother-in-love…I’m sure the loss still hurts. Your words give me the picture of God patiently waiting, knowing what we need even before we do. He has His arms wide open, waiting for us to fall into them. I got goosebumps reading how the Holy Spirit held you up in your weakness! Thank you for sharing this story…I go into the day encouraged!
Blessings,
Bev
Kathy @ In Quiet Places says
The reminder that He is already there before we even know we have a need on the horizon, is so powerful, we have got to remember this and appreciate His beautiful grace all the more!
Sara says
Hi Liz,
I most definitely needed to hear your words today. I have been dealing with an excruciatingly difficult decision that I have to make and have once again been guilty again of being an emotional-stuffer-downer. I knew that all I have been facing surely should be causing me to break down crying on a regular basis but yet the tears have not appeared. I was not in touch with all the pain that lies beneath, and this is a place I know I do not want to be.
I read your words and cried. Cried over the loss of your mother-in-law. Cried over what you must have gone through in the hours before your speech. Cried over the amazing experience you had during your time on stage and for the beautiful way that you explained your story. Then my tears took on the form of my own pain and sadness that I knew had to be inside of me and yet with a delightful realization that I am not going through this alone and that all I needed to do was look through a different lens. Thank you for sharing your story.
Condolences and blessings to your family and you.
Warmly,
Sara
Inspired Life says
Liz,
Oh the freedom when we free the holy spirit to take over and to minister to us right where we are. I’m sure your authenticity in that moment communicated volumes to the listeners and opened their hearts all the more. May God continue to comfort you and your family.
Lynn D. Morrissey says
Hi Liz,
I’m so very sorry about your mother-in-law’s passing. What a beautiful woman she was from all you say, and what comfort it must bring you to know she is with the Lord. Still, the parting is so, so difficult. This is such a beautiful story of God’s grace in receiving her and ending her suffering, and of strengthening you to minister to others who needed a word from the Lord. Yours was a talk that these women likely have never forgotten, because they literally saw and felt the power the Holy Spirit working through you. I felt this same power when my beloved father died eight years ago, and I had to write and deliver a eulogy and sing at his funeral. I knew I could not do it, but I so wanted to honor my beloved father and also be a witness of God’s grace through his long, arduous dying. I knew there would be people in attendance who didn’t know God. I tried and tried to write about Daddy, but nothing came, until literally just before the funeral. . . just at the last possible moment that I needed the words, God gave them to me–they flowed. And then, when I stood to sing, when I had not one ounce of strength left, God allowed me to sing His Eye Is on the Sparrow, and Malotte’s Lord’s Prayer (the latter being a common, yet very difficult song to sing). It was so important for me to sing for Daddy, because he had had such a beautiful voice, and he and I often sang duets at the family funerals. But who would sing for him? I didn’t think I could, because singing is so emotional and I also associated it, in this instance, with having sung with him so many times before. And now, I sang alone. Yet, just as God did for you in your speech, with each note I sang, God empowered me. My voice got stronger and stronger, until it catapulted to that soaring high note at the end of the piece: “For Thine is the Kingdom and the power and the gl-o-o-o-ry, FOR- E-E-E-E-VER, Amen.” The Lord did handle it, and He helped me in a time when I couldn’t possibly have done it alone. And He has been here during the painful years of missing my father. I know He is with you, too. Thank you so much for sharing, Liz.
Love
Lynn
Brenda says
((( Hug )))
Penny says
Liz,
I am deeply sorry for your loss.
Thank-you for being you and for sharing you with us. You are a true inspiration and gift.
When faced with something hard we might not know how to deal with it but then we manage. We can rest assured knowing God’s hand was at work.
Kathy says
I needed God’s message through you today. My weaknesses lie in health issues and a daughter who is moving 2,000 miles away from us. I am SO weak right now.
Penny says
Prayers and hugs for you Kathy.
Mary says
Praying for you Kathy. I also am struggling with illness (depression) and daughter living across country. I will be praying For God’s joy and comfort to overtake us.
Beth Williams says
Condolences on losing your mother-in-law! It is hard losing someone you love. Only God could supply ALL our needs–even words from a wounded warrior! He is so AWESOME!!
Thank you for this most timely post! Been going through rough times with family and work for 1.25 years now and it hurts and depresses! Bless you for the word picture of God patiently waiting for us ready to give us what we need even before we know we need it! he’s there for us ALL the Time!!
Give your husband my condolences!
Marina Bromley says
Amen and amen. He was glorified in that moment, and you were faithful to your word, which brought Him more glory.
I’m so sorry for your loss… what a blessing that you had such a great relationship. May great memories of her help carry you through the difficult days… and He be glorified again and again…
Susan G. says
Oh Liz…what a beautiful message. Even with tears in my eyes reading this, I know this is His truth for us all. I’m so glad He is already there at the end of it all…even we are taken by surprise…He already knew.
May He continue to bless you as you bless us with your words!
Much love!
Joanne Peterson says
Liz,
I am so sorry for the loss of your other mom, your mother-in-law. This is very painful to lose a close family member.
This is beautiful! I have cried through all the times I’ve read this devotion. I’ve experienced the weakness, nothing to give, and His strength does the work. Just last night I experienced this with a class I facilitate/group lead, and if it was appropriate, I’d share my story, but for reasons of confidentiality, I can’t.
You post made my cry because Jesus is so amazing, tender, sweet, powerful, glorious in the way He works through us when we just plain have nothing.
Blessings,
Joanne
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
((Hugs)) Joanne,
Bev
LouAnn Buchanan Christie says
I will be traveling this next week to TX for the Celebration of Life service for my DOM (Dear Other Mom). A woman who for the past 18 years took me into her heart and life when my family abandoned me. I knew too when I saw who I got a message from, didn’t want to read it just before getting on the freeway to drive home after a very long day at work. I cried all the way home…about an hour. Miss Vi was 93, lived a full and loving life by serving God. I want to be like her. Hugs sweet Liz.
thistle ツ says
Wow, what a precious testimony of God’s wonderful grace, Liz! My own mother passed away a month ago, so I can relate to the emotions, and I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for being willing to be used of God!
MorningMotivatedMom says
Sorry for your loss. When you said it seemed like a good plan then, but a terrible plan no…we just cannot plan on how life will unfold! What a powerful reminder that He is always with us! And Great Is Thy Faithfulness is the perfect song to really get the tears flowing.
Faye says
Such a powerful share, gave me goosebumps. Our God is awesome.