I’ve always admired people who never give in. You know, the ones who don’t consider defeat when they blow it?
I wish I were that brave.
Honestly, I tend to beat myself up a little when I fall short of the woman I want to be, or the woman God is calling me to be. Like the other day when I got upset with my son and went on a rant about his laundry not being put away and his room being a mess.
Soon after, my internal bully (the mean voice in my head) started ranting about the mess I had just made and how I’d blown my chance of being a good mom that day. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve let failure knock me down, tie me up with ropes of regret, and hold me hostage for a day or two.
When I was writing A Confident Heart, I surveyed over a thousand women and discovered that our past failures and fear of failing in the future are two of the most common causes of insecurity and self-doubt.
I think our greatest defeat comes when we allow failures, sins, and broken relationships to convince us that we might as well give up.
But look at what God tell us in Psalm 37:23-24, and as you read it insert your name in the blanks:
“The steps of ____________ are established by the Lord, and He delights in ____________’s way. When ____________ falls, __________ will not be hurled headlong, because the Lord is the One who holds ________’s hand.” (NASB)
Instead of giving in, Jesus wants to empower us to get up again.
In getting up, we can apologize and ask for forgiveness.
In getting up, we can choose to try again with our kids, in our jobs, in our marriages, in our ministries, and in all of our mistakes. Because we know that our steps are established by the Lord, and although we fall, God still holds our hand and offers to help us up again.
When we get up again, failure can actually help us become the confident woman God created us to be because it can make us stronger and better — when you go to God for help.
Defeat might even be the thing that stretches us to do more than we think we can and pushes us to try new ideas or methods when one way doesn’t work.
I’m so relieved to know that following Jesus is not about being perfect. It’s about accepting our weaknesses and becoming more dependent on His perfect love and power at work in us. And every time we to depend on Him, we become more of the confident women we’re meant to be — because instead of giving in, we choose to take God’s hand and get up again.