My husband travels for his job. A lot.
When we first got married, we lived in the country on five wooded acres. For this growing-up-in-the-city girl, it was a big adjustment.
The hardest part was trying to sleep when he was gone.
That could sound all romantic, but really it was about fear. I realized if anything happened no one would hear me scream and come running to help.
Having lunch with a friend a few years ago, she seemed exhausted. She told me she hadn’t been sleeping very much since her husband was out of town the previous few days for a fishing trip. She sheepishly admitted every little noise woke her up. She and I confessed how it was hard to be by ourselves at night.
My husband and I moved from our home in the woods a few years later to a neighborhood closer to town. I figured I would feel more at ease at night with nice neighbors on the block. But I would lay on the couch for hours watching TV hoping to drift off to sleep. I would leave lights on, check under beds, fling open closet doors with my cell phone in hand ready to hit send on a 911 call. I was still scared.
I was afraid of the dark. Yes, ma’am. A woman in her 30s afraid of what goes bump in the night.
All it takes for me is a brief glance at the headlines and fear can set in. My imagination can be used by the enemy to get me scared and wanting control. It’s a feeling of vulnerability. And having my dad growing up, my roommate during my college years or my husband in the house gave me a false sense of security.
I guess there are some things we really don’t grow out of.
We carry the fears deep within. Trying to act like we have it together. Making plans and trying to quiet the voices ourselves.
When our hands are on our ears trying to muffle the wrong voice, we can’t hear the voice of the One who sings over us with His love and tells us of His great plans for us.
When our eyes are shut because we’re too scared of what’s ‘underneath the bed’ or ‘lurking in our closet’, we can’t see the Lord and the beauty of His great love for us.
With the immediate shift from Christmas packages to lists and changes for the new year, it may seem like a silly question, but what are you afraid of?
I’m not asking how you can be more brave.
I want you to pause and ask Jesus what you’re running from, what you need Him to heal inside, what you’re really scared of. Be honest with yourself.
I was afraid of the dark — the dark I could see and the one I saw on the news and the one that circles me waiting for a chance to pounce.
We’ve followed the star, the light, to witness the Great Light. Now we can take that brilliance and swallow it, down deep, to the depths of the darkest place within us. And whatever you’re scared of, whisper it to Jesus. Ask Him to take it from you. He already did. And find verses to speak into the dark so there will be once again light in your life.
Let’s pray this together, every day. Believe it even when you don’t feel it. Insert your fear. Call it by name and let God deal with it. He’s the God of light and healing and courage. I promise He will do it through you.
The LORD is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life — of whom shall I be afraid? The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid (name your fear here). What can man do to me? I will be strong and courageous. I will not be afraid or terrified because of (insert your fear), for the LORD my God goes with me; He will never leave me nor forsake me. For God did not give me a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. So I will not fear, for God is with me; I will not be dismayed, for He is my God. He will strengthen me and help me; He will uphold me with His righteous right hand.
(taken from Psalm 27:1, Psalm 118:6,Deut 31:6, 2 Timothy 1:7, Isaiah 41:10)
I can testify the Lord keeps His word, and He will do the same for you. I can sleep soundly and secure now because I take Him at His word and the Word comforts me.
Light will overtake the dark. Christmas proved that. And we can live in the new year like it’s true.Leave a Comment