It’s been cold and rainy for a week straight. My girls are using all their creative power to play yet another round of make believe. The box of dress-up clothes is overused and uninspiring by now, so their imaginations push them to seek new material. I notice my five-year-old trying to turn one of my old skirts into a tankini. An effort that’s doomed from the start, but her creative, constructive spirit won’t let her abandon the idea until it’s been tried.
When her attempts to zip and belt and fasten leave her naked in the middle of the living room, she breathes a frustrated roar at me. “Mommy, this isn’t working.” The skirt is too long. The skirt doesn’t cinch around her. The skirt does not stay put just so in a two-by-two section of her little frame!
This scenario feels so familiar, I can’t fight the urge to speak truth to her. Maybe this time it will sink in. “You know, my love,” I launch, so helpful in my insight, “many times you have an idea in your mind and you want things to work just how you imagine but a lot of times what you imagine just doesn’t exist. It’s just not how you think it should be.”
Gulp.
I hadn’t planned to say them. As soon as the words were out of my mouth they stunned me. The minute I stop talking the Spirit opens His mouth with a raised eyebrow to say, “See? Right? Isn’t that so? Get it? That’s you.”
I often shake my head in wonder and confusion that my oldest daughter doesn’t seem happier. I feel like she doesn’t smile enough. I feel like she’s dissatisfied too much. But haven’t I been thinking the same of myself these days?
I aim to hold up a mirror to help my daughter see – but it’s God who holds up a mirror to me. Right there it is, the cause of my discontent: choosing not to delight in what is because it doesn’t look just like that image I created. I made it up and thought it should exist and when it doesn’t I am let down.
How many times does the ideal actually take shape in someone’s life? She’s debt-free like I want to be, but by age 30 she’s lost her father and newborn daughter. Her husband’s job supports the family so she never has to go back to work, but her daughter has diabetes. She has the beautiful house I long for but no one to share it with.
And then there are our sisters the world over who have no home, lose sick babies, wear worn flip flops till there are holes in the soles – and then keep wearing them, sweep dirt floors, have no idea where their husbands are, and long for something to eat besides more beans and rice. God never lets me forget them in these moments of selfish disappointment.
Or…she has everything, but doesn’t know Jesus.
So then, what is there, really?
God tells us He wants to bless us abundantly. Luke 9:10-17
God tells us He doesn’t give as the world gives. John 14:27
And there is enough good to go around. We just get a different good, you and me.
A different good. But still good.
Today I’m choosing to turn away discontent, to stop measuring everything with the invisible ruler of the ideal life I made up in my mind. I’m praying today through each temptingly disappointing moment to catch the glimpse of holy. Instead of searching for what I think should be, I’m opening up to what is.
Leave a Comment
Agnes says
YES.. just what I needed to hear today! Thank you! 🙂
Sasha says
So glad, Agnes! Praise God!
Abby McDonald says
It’s amazing how our kids can hold a mirror up and let us see ourselves, isn’t it? Thank you for sharing this. You have reminded me that there is good all around me; I just have to open up my eyes and see it. 🙂
Sasha says
So true, Abby! It feels too often sometimes. 🙂
May He give us eyes to see the abundant goodness today, Abby!
Jen says
Thank you! I’m praying right with you. I don’t know you’re situation, but I know the struggle because I’m battling against it too. Praying for the Lord to break us all free from these imagined lives we measure reality against. Praying the Lord will give me something better to day dream about instead of the blessings I don’t have that aren’t right for who and how God made me/my life to be. Not right for the purpose He gave me. But still I look and dream selfishly wanting what I don’t have, forgetting to thank God for what He has given me. I have a wonderful husband, I have a beautiful home. Our family relationships are few and it doesn’t look like there will ever be little ones in our home. He doesn’t yet know the Lord. There’s always good with the bad. I hang on to God’s Word and His promises, knowing the peace He’s given me that my husband will one day walk with Him. This is everything! But still I want more and battle against that discontentment that my life isn’t what I want it to be instead of rejoicing that it is what God wants it to be.
*hugs* to Sasha and everyone who is finding themself in this spot. You’re all in my prayers today.
Sasha says
to break us free, Jen – exactly! To live in bondage is certainly not what God wants for us, and this measuring life against an imagined reality is bondage, isn’t it? Thank you for helping me recognize that! May He mightily break the chains today!
Lifting up prayers now for your husband’s salvation.
Chavos says
Oh, how this speaks to where I am… I’ve had to face my made-up ideas of the way I thought things should go and it’s very humbling. I want to be okay and content with “what is” and not yearn for a fairytale story/life. 🙂
Sasha says
so glad these words could minister to you 🙂 I’ll say prayers for your contentment today!
Sandra Muthyala says
God wants us to live in the here and now!! And what is, not in what it should be or in what I would like it to be!! It is definitely a constant battle that requires constant communion with the Creator allowing Him to be God and me the creature!!
So many times what I tell my kids comes back to hit me on the head- realizing that what I just ‘said’ is exactly what I needed to hear! I always imagine God in those moments, looking down at me and chuckling and whispering Got it?
Thank you so much for sharing!! What a blessing it was to read your post!!
Sasha says
oh yes, I know that visual, of God looking down with a chuckle. Thank goodness He has a gentle sense of humor! Though difficult at times, what a gift that He continues to refine us.
Thank you for your wise words, Sandra – the best way to live free is to be in constant communion with the Lord!
Kate Carman says
This was such a fun, helpful read. I do the same – open my mouth and say stuff to my kids that is really directed to train and mold MY character. My latest was when I told our 4 year old to find her own path. Who says that to a 4 year old? I think it was God’s reassurance to me that I will find my own path as Mom and writer. I love God’s sense of humor. Thanks for sharing.
Sasha says
Ha! Sounds like it was God speaking through you to you! So humbling and sanctifying are these children of ours, aren’t they? 🙂
Paige says
Perfect timing, Sasha! I’m finding more and more these days, that when I stop turning to the right and to the left, looking for “my ministry” that God’s will for my life is to glorify Him right where I am today. To pray for and care about His people I work with or come in contact with today. “My ministry” may not look like what I had in my head, because what I’m living today is HIS ministry. Hallelujah!
Sasha says
That is a lesson recently learned over here, too, Paige: that I don’t need to keep searching for how to serve God – it’s the right here, the right now that He has put me in.
Jamie Rohrbaugh says
Excellent point, Sasha. I’m trying to learn this – to enjoy what is, to relish the journey; to not always have my head in what I think should happen tomorrow. It is a tough thing to learn, but I’m trying. Beautiful post; I enjoyed your words. 🙂
Dawn B. says
Just read this post after getting off the phone with friend who seems to have the fairy tale life….”We just get a different good, you and me. A different good. But still good”..thank you for your wise words!!
Sherrell says
Thank you for this! I needed this so bad today. I am single and my friends are in relationships. I thought by this time I would be married, kids, Pickett fence and all. I’m so busy comparing my life to the one I imagined I would have by now that I fail to appreciate the life God has blessed me with. This was a word in time for me!
Katie McCollistet says
I really needed to read this today and adjust my attitude to be thankful what God is providing instead of what I think us best fir me.
Ashley says
What a wonderful way for God to reveal Himself. I love it when He uses us to speak to ourselves as we’re giving advice to others. Thanks for sharing!
Danielle says
Good insight! I believe this is where I’m at in my life. Thanks for the incouragement.
Connie says
Yes, so true the disappointments I have been faced with overtake me at times…but God is good and he calls me out of my fear and hiding…. I will find HIS grace in this time of trouble… Thank you
Wendy van Eyck says
Think I’ve read this three times today. So good.
Caroline McLeod says
Good stuff x
Aaron Bradley says
Wow! Can I brag I lived next to an author now!
Beth WIlliams says
Sasha,
Such insightful words!!! I don’t compare my life to others–just my work life. I’m in a state of wanting/needing a new job & direction for my life. I’ve been somewhat depressed this year and it has gotten worse this summer. Lots of trials with aging father and stresses with work for both me and my hubby. Why can’t I see the forest for the trees? Why don’t I believe these statements?
God tells us He wants to bless us abundantly. Luke 9:10-17
God tells us He doesn’t give as the world gives. John 14:27
I have plenty of proof for both of them, yet I still get depressed and unhappy with my current life situation!
God help me to see the blessings you give us daily!
Blessings 🙂
Anne Capozzi says
Wow, just exactly what I needed to hear today!!! Thank you!
Sasha says
so glad, Anne. Thanks be to God for providing the right words at the right time. May you have a day of God-given contentment today!