It was 5:25 and I was in line at Target. I should have been pulling into my kids’ day care, which was about 5 minutes from Target. I typically pick them up at 5:30 every day. The school is open until 6, so I had a little wiggle room, though I knew my 5-year-old son was going to ask “Why are you SOOOOO late?” when I walked in.
On that particular day, I had stopped at Target on my way to the school to pick up a few groceries and household necessities. We had been away for the weekend and desperately needed some things to get us through the week – especially milk.
Only two lanes were open, and I strategically did my best to pick the one that would run fastest. The two customers ahead of me had very few items, so I breathed a sigh of relief that this was going to go fast and I wouldn’t be too late.
As I quickly learned, I picked the lane with the slowest cashier in the history of Target.
Awesome.
I have been really trying to work on my patience in situations like this. I reminded myself, life is not an emergency. Be patient, I said to myself. Maybe he is new.
Finally, it was my turn. My cart was loaded with $200 worth of products – diapers, cheese sticks, lunch meat, a vaporizer for those dry winter nights – even a few cute cardigans that I found 70% off.
The cashier slowly placed each item in the bags. I looked over at the other lane and notice people seemed to be flying through it.
Why didn’t I pick her? I thought to myself.
Then my mind turned to grace, grace, grace. Be kind to this man. You don’t know his circumstances. Focus on this moment right now. Being impatient doesn’t help anything. Slow down. You’ll get to school.
So I offered to help bag the items and he thanked me sincerely.
Breathe. Life is not an emergency.
It was 5:40 when I got to my car to unload my bags. I finished putting them in the trunk and grabbed my coat that was sitting on the front seat of the cart. Under it were two gallons of milk… that I hadn’t paid for.
I sighed, shut my trunk and quickly went back into the store. The service desk employee thanked me for being honest. I said “of course,” and thought to myself, what is the lesson here?
Slow.
Slow.
Slow.
In my haste to get through that lane quickly, I missed things in my cart. I was not present in that moment. Milk was the one thing we REALLY needed. I should have noticed it not on the conveyer belt.
I called my husband to let him know we were going to be a bit late and explained what had happened. I said to him, “I had to keep telling myself to be kind and patient, even though I was getting so irritated. And then when I saw the milk, I just couldn’t believe it.”
Although, I sort of could. The lesson I needed to learn was pretty obvious.
Haste makes waste. Be kind. Be patient. Be present.
I pulled into day care at 5:50. My son asked why I was so late, just as I expected. I told him I had to get a few groceries, but I had cheese sticks in the car.
Cheese sticks cover a multitude of sins to a 5-year-old.
As we drove home, we sang the ABCs and figured out words that started with each letter. I was fully present and didn’t worry about the fact that we had left daycare at the time we normally are home at night.
The kids laughed and sang loudly. It was the best ride home in a long time and I think it was because that Target run reminded me that slowing down is always best.
And when we got home, the kids each had a glass of milk.
Q: Do you find yourself getting impatient when you are in a hurry? How do you slow yourself down and be present in the moment?
Leave a Comment
Rosie says
Thanks Jessica,
I’m a paramedic. 🙂 On work, while we’re driving out to help a sick person that called us, I’m so very cool, so unbelievable chilled down. Nothing’s getting better when I hurry and make my partner nervous. And I am able to think of what to do.
What I am able to do on work seems often unable to do in my freetime. Why?
You inspirated me to think a bit about this controverse thing.
Thank you!
Be blessed with patient,
Rosie
Rosie says
*patience
my smartphone was faster than me. Even not this patient one. 😀
Bev Duncan @ Walking Well With God says
Good morning Rosie 🙂
Bev Duncan @ Walking Well With God says
Jessica,
I think we all can relate to your experience. I’ve found that my lack of patience is rooted in a little thing called “pride”. Pride that says my time is more important than your time. I try to remind myself that everything happens, ultimately, in God’s time. When I self talk to remind myself that He is truly in control it helps me to be more patient and present in the moment. Loved this post!
Blessings,
Bev
joseph says
Thank you Bev for letting us know that the lack of patience had to do with our PRIDE. you hit that nicely, it made me think & reflect.
Thank you Jessica for this wonderful & reflective post.
Jessica Turner says
Pride impacts a lot of things, doesn’t it? I don’t know that I have ever think about pride and time in the way you described. Something to ponder. Appreciate your words here.
heather m. says
Impatient…? Me…? Sadly, all.the.time…..
Multi-tasking doesn’ help the situation either I’ve found…! Case in point, I burnt my egg this a.m. because I was trying to text my husband our change of plan for the events of the day and fixing my sons breakfast….
I needed the slow down message this morning- if nothing more than just to slow down my reactions and my emotions espically. Grace is definitely the word of the day.
Thanks for this : )
Jessica Turner says
I have been there – burned egg and all. I have found that getting up a bit earlier so that I have quiet time for myself before my family is awake helps me to prioritize and be in a good spot for the morning hustle. 🙂
Courtney L. says
Oh Jessica, I needed this today! I became impatient and rushed my 7-year old, who was in tears, out the door to school. Her room was a mess, I couldn’t find any clean leggings, and she was crying because she had to wear jeans. I was really aggravated with myself, for not getting all of the laundry done yesterday, for not making sure her room was picked up and clothes put away before bedtime, for taking my frustrations out on my sweet girl when it was really my fault. She felt awful. I felt really awful. I found myself wishing I had a reset button. I know I should have just taken a breath, counted to 10, and reminded myself that nothing that happened this morning was really that “big” and that we were all going to be okay, but instead, I got caught up in the hurry of getting out the door and missed an opportunity to show her patience, grace, and love. Feeling really grateful for God’s patience with me this morning… and this post, which I am sure I didn’t stumble upon by coincidence!
alli says
I know you post convicts me of how insensitive i can be. Gosh, my mom was complaining about me taking out the trash, bc “she has a certain way” and ‘she wants to do it’ well i just couldnt understand why someone would turn down free help. I did it anyway..only to b followed by a really stupid arguement. Even know im thinking why would your daughter cry about wearing jeans, and thats bc im not God and everyones concerns are important to Him, even if its not important to us. Im learning how i relate to God is how i relate to others. I need to not stress little things and remember whats minor to me may be major to another
Courtney L. says
And now I’m feeling convicted because sometimes I am the mom that gets aggravated because I want things done a certain way… LOL (Especially how the dishwasher is loaded…. when I really should be thankful that someone else is helping out!!! Haha!) I think we can all be a little insensitive sometimes… like with this morning, I can’t understand my daughter doesn’t like to wear jeans, because I love them, but like you said, we are all different and thankfully God understands and loves us all despite our differences. I love what you said about what is minor to you might be major to others. I think we all need that reminder sometimes! 🙂
Jessica Turner says
So many good things in this thread. Grace, grace, grace. Deep breaths. Remembering how blessed we are. There is freedom found in letting go. That is the lesson I am learning again and again. The house doesn’t have to be perfect. The clothes don’t have to be perfect. Let’s just love one another well and be thankful, yes? A reminder I need today and every day. We are all in this together.
alli says
My new book…’internal conversations in the check-out lane/line” oh the dialogue. I didnt expect how this turned out..i thought you were going say something about the cashier. But i deal with this issue on the regular esp with my mom who i halfway look after..its frustating and then God deals with me later about my actions or anger at her behavior. Not saying you should get a different lane next time but sometimes He’s dealing with me more than ‘slowness’ of the other person
Birdie Cutair says
oh, my; this sounds so real and so like me. I guess I needed to be reminded that the important time is God’s time, and to look to Him at all times.
Jackie A says
Yes, all the time! I tried to close my eyes (if I can) and focus on the moment. What really matters? Is it a moral issue? Is it a Jesus issue? Usually its not… and to pray without stopping all the time.
Tara says
I had an extremely similar grocery store lesson in patience only last week! It involved a busted jar of spaghetti sauce 😉 God is so good to show us grace when we feel like expressing it least. I am so thankful for the daily reminders of His love.
Jessica Turner says
Busted jars of sauce are. the. worst. 🙂 Glad I am not the only one needing these lessons.
Hope says
Oh my yes do I find myself inpatient. In similar ways.
And it’s not pretty. That is always how I come out of it, feeling just gross and knowing I fell short. I should know better, I could be a lot better. But it’s okay, I am learning and try to love instead of being inpatient.
Paulette says
This so hit home for me because something similar happened to me and my son was with me. That did not make it any better when he explained to me that I needed to be nicer as we never know what is going on in other peoples lives. As we hit the road and I was impatient again as we were running late and again he reminded me that God must have a reason why there was a delay on the road. Sure enough we would have been caught in a deadly accident had we been on the road just 5 minutes earlier. So… my son is my gentle reminder as God uses him daily to keep me in line..Thanks for posting this though to remind us that God has patience with us and gives us grace daily so if we want to be like Christ we need to also do the same 🙂
Jessica Turner says
God often uses our children to speak truth, doesn’t He?
karyn says
I like to take my time. I like to think things out and through and through. I do not like to rush through things or else I will make mistakes. If I manage to slow down and think things through the next time I do it, it will be better and I will not make as many mistakes.
Life is about just slowing down and doing nothing much but enjoy life in itself. We are to enjoy the moments the LORD gives us to see the beauty of HIS creation and enjoy HIS saints or not. There is so little time in a day to enjoy yourself. I do not like to hurry. I love to enjoy life.
Patience. I have lots of it. I can wait. Waiting and slowing down is good so that less mistakes are made.
That’s a lot of milk.
Slowing down also helps us keep healthy. We are healthier if we slow down.
Jessica Turner says
I agree we are healthier if we slow down.
And as for the milk, what can I say? Two toddlers and a mom who grew up in the dairy state… 🙂
Amanda says
Last month, a beautiful sunrise was breaking over the river while my husband and I drove to work. He wanted to enjoy it with me, so he took the river road to work, slowly manuevering for the best views. And I, instead of enjoying the time with him, grew more and more irritable because all I could think of was the work I had to do, deadlines I had to meet, how we were going to be “late” (if only by a couple of minutes). I snipped at him, and immediately regretted it. My impatience cost me what could have been a special moment in a busy day.
This week, another beautiful sunrise broke over the river on our way to work. This time, I asked him to stop by a nearby park that is on the river so we could look and I could take a couple of pictures. He did, happily. And when we got to work, he pulled around so I could take another picture, as the sunrise had only gotten brighter and more beautiful. The day wasn’t less busy, the deadlines weren’t less looming, but my attitude was better. And so was the moment.
Jessica Turner says
What a wonderful example. Thank you for sharing this.
Ali says
I’ve been moved this week reading John 1 and the way that Jesus noticed Nathanael before he called him to be a disciple. We walk past so many people every day and don’t take the time to really look at them or talk to them. It seems to always be the people with “the little jobs” that we ignore. Love this reminder to give grace to your cashier. How different would the world be if we started talking to the cashiers, the valets, and the bellhops in the world?
Jessica Turner says
Yes!! Thank you for your words.
Shab says
A thousand times yes! Every time I try to hurry my kids I need to think about this. I’ve tried to be better about rushing them and taking our time…
Thanks for this reminder.
Nancy Ruegg says
Your question at the end about slowing down and living in the moment got me thinking. When confronted with situations that test my patience, I want to “stop, look, and listen.” ( I thought this might be easy to apply, since it’s a mantra we all know from school safety lessons!) I want to STOP and check in with the God. “What would you have me do, Lord?” Next, I’ll LOOK for someone who might need a smile or kind word, i.e. “What a pretty sweater you’re wearing!” And I’ll LISTEN to the comments of others–try to be empathetic and encouraging. If I’m focused on being a blessing, I won’t be drawn into stress and frustration. Easier said than done, I know. God, help me!
Jessica Turner says
I love this notion of focusing on being a blessing.
Amie says
Thank you so much for this reminder! I remind myself that patience is a virtue constantly.
Mom 2 JADE says
Heart convicted. Tongue chastened. Needing Grace. Thank you.
Jessica Turner says
We all need grace. Peace.
Kelly Sauer says
Oh this just made me cry. It’s perfect!
Nina says
What a nice story. I have to remind myself to slow down all of the time. If I rush I end up doing something incorrectly and have to double back and do it again defeating the purpose of rushing. As for the grocery store line I tend to rush since I don’t want to be “that person” holding up the line. However I waited just as long as the people behind me and I have waited for “that person” at some point in my life so it is only fair that I remember all of my items and coupons, and if I have an issue to speak up! The others need to SLOW DOWN too! 🙂
Cathi Sheneman says
Something similar happened to me once! That evening, it seemed like no one in the store knew where my needed item was. Grrrrr! I asked employee after employee, and I felt myself getting worked up. When I finally found what I needed, the cashier was so pokey! That’s when I decided to s-l-o-w down, deciding that my mood wasn’t helping anyone. I picked up a magazine and looked through it. The next thing I heard was a beautiful, soooothing male voice. The cashier’s. “Ma’am? We’re just waitin’ on you.” I still want to laugh when I think about it!
Beth WIlliams says
This is soo me. I have little patience. It can be tough when you want things done a certain way, feel rushed, tired or dealing with aging parents.
My biggest problem is wanting groceries bagged MY WAY & the dishwasher loaded MY WAY! 🙂 Also if I must rush to work, or doing errands I can get testy. I must learn to extend grace, grace, grace to others and realize that they may be going through some rough, tough problems.
Thanks for a great reminder to slow down and extend grace, peace! 🙂
Amanda says
Oh heck yes!! Whenever I’m in a rush no one else is, and I hit every red light. I also normally forget something important if I’m in a rush leaving the house. I try to go through a mental check list and remind myself being on time isn’t always worth it if I might forget something vital or drive like a mad women getting there. Ideally I try to leave margin in my day-to-day to avoid rushing but the ideal isn’t always possible with two kids, a dog and husband :). I love how your drive home was awesome despite arriving late :). Great post!
julie says
yes! yes! yes! thank you for sharing and the reminder….
Cody Doll says
Ah the joys of having milk and cheese with no problems!! Enjoy that my friend.
But I loved the lesson here. My target has a guy that has down syndrome, which makes things go twice as long but I don’t mind because I am thankful he can work. My brother is special needs but he will never be able to get a job on his own. And your right. Life isn’t going to fall apart because your 10, 20 or even 30 mins late. It happens, enjoy what happens.