Warm rays poured down. My face and forearms felt giggly to meet a friend they had missed, the sun. Children played near the fountain with coats draping, begging to come off.

My dad’s arm reached around me and gave even more warmth.  We sat on a bench enjoying the spring like weather in the middle of winter, waiting for a lunch table after church.

I leaned over to my parents and told them my simple epiphany during the sermon that morning. . ..my identity is in Christ.

Yes, I realize so basic for a Jesus follower. But yet such a huge concept I have come to fresh realization time and time again. A reminder of who I am, in I AM.

The Spirit reveals this is something I’ve been struggling with and didn’t even realize.

I dream for her, the little one that we’ve longed for, prayed for.  I wonder what God has in store for her young life. Great Kingdom plans I pray, for her and the role she’ll play for His glory.

And this makes me wonder if I have lived the Kingdom-Role I was destined for. Have I fulfilled the mission God had in mind for me before the foundation of the earth? Has my life up to this point counted? {Don’t we all want to know that?!}

As He knits our baby girl together in my secret place, I’m curious about her identity and mine at the same time. I’m transitioning to a new role of mother and I couldn’t be more thrilled. But there are so many unknowns looking forward and curiosities looking back.

I will have a new name, mother. I will experience new pains and longings and new joys unspeakable. I am transforming into a new creation yet am still me. Nothing has been taken away, but only added. The juggle, the balance, the curiosities. . . they abound.

I watch others. I wonder. I start to compare. I try to sift through the advice, what not to do, the life examples. But God calls me back to my real identity. An identity that doesn’t need a fancy title, to be made important, or be concerned what it looks like from the outside as if a grand accomplishment.

I AM tells me I am His. My identity was never my own. My plans are futile apart from Him. Only His plans matter. Only He can accomplish Kingdom work through me. My identity is hidden IN HIM.

This is what I would say to my daughter someday. I pray to understand it myself  so she won’t only hear the words but she will see a life that reflects the very ideal.

Doesn’t that make you take a deep breath? It does me. The pressure is off. The duties are gone. The wondering is ceased.

I know that He has good plans for me He put forth in advance. He tells me so. {Eph 2:10}

I know that His identity is more important than mine. He tells me to make Him known and not myself. {Col 1:27}

I know that I have died to this life {and continue to do so each day as best I can} but my REAL LIFE is hidden with Christ in God. {Col 3:3}

I soak in this truth like the rays of sunshine I feel on my skin.

 

Are you struggling with your identity? Are you overwhelmed by the possibilities? Do you want your real life to matter?

Be with Christ in God and let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. {Col 3:15}

 

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