“More dreams die by self-inflicted wounds than any other kind. God is for you…and it’s time for you to be too.”
Holley Gerth, You’re Made for a God-Sized Dream
I move quickly towards the bathroom, the only place offering solitude in the whole house. I’ve managed genuine smiles all day while keeping the tears in, but I can’t do it anymore. I’m only walking but I breathe heavy as I shut the bathroom door. I clamp my hand to my mouth but the sobs come fast and hard and there’s nothing to do but let ’em go.
“You are completely ridiculous,” I say to myself, exasperated. “Get a grip!”
And that’s when I hear the quiet knock accompanying a gentle, “Kristen? Are you okay?”
Oh heavens. There’s no hiding any longer.
The setting for my meltdown was Hilton Head, the place where I was spending a much-anticipated weekend with writers who’ve become genuine friends. Generally, I am very comfortable around other women, even women I don’t know. I move eager to begin conversations and listen to their stories. But sometimes, I do not trust that my own stories hold up to the same interest. So in this glorious beach house with windows from ceiling to floor, I feel like every writing and blogging insecurity jumped straight through my computer screen and stands in full view for all to see.
Now let me be clear: Nobody inside the beach house ever made me feel this way. Ever. But I don’t need anyone else to suggest I’m not up to par. I am my own worst critic, off and running with the enemy’s dreadful lies.
So when on this occasion I find myself in a room full of women who aren’t just good but excellent at what they do, I am overwhelmed by my own smallness.
I slowly open the bathroom door and see kind faces wrapped in concern. I smile weakly and somehow the words just tumble out,
“I don’t belong here. I’m just not good enough.”
Arms from Ann, Lisa-Jo, and Holley find themselves around me as well as kind words and prayers that give me fresh perspective of who I am in Christ. But I’m not gonna lie: It is a fight to keep my confidence.
I wonder if the same is true for you, if you’ve ever felt you didn’t belong or just weren’t good enough? You see the other women at your workplace or the moms at PTO and believe they have their act together while you fumble all ridiculous and small? You aren’t alone.
Feeling small isn’t a bad thing in and of itself. But when our mind travels from small street to the corner of unworthy and untalented, we have arrived in a dangerous part of town. We are small because of our great God, not because of great people. People are all the same in that we all need Jesus to bridge the miles between us and God. A smaller me leaves space for God to dish out his bigger, better plans for me. And wrapped in those tailor-made plans for each of us is an abundance of talent and smarts He graciously gives, all useful in His kingdom plans.
The other day, I read afresh Colossians 2:10,
“…and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority.”
We have been given fullness in Christ. Today, we are already complete. We are worthy enough and talented enough and just plain enough. I repeat this to myself over and over and before long, the empty press of this world and devil static fade into the distance. It is then I find confidence and security with where God has me today.
Just like you, I have heart desires and soul dreams I want to birth. Some may need to be laid to rest on altars while others spring to glorious life. Either way, I will rally behind His plans for me rather than raise a roadblock. If God is for me, who can be against me?
May it not be me.
Kristen Strong, Chasing Blue Skies
Leave a Comment
sonika says
And in case you need one more source of human reassurance: your words makes my heart happy 🙂
I totally get that being-your-own-worst-critic thing. Just yesterday, I was trying to help someone understand how I’m my best AND worst competition in every arena – from grades (I’m a college student) to dance to writing to music to my relationship with God and now you see where this is going. Yep. Dangerous indeed. Competing with myself, I’ve found, is easier than competing with others but altogether unnecessary…because of this verse you held on to from Colossians.
(Side note: have you ever heard the song “Completely Done” (Sovereign Grace Music)? If music speaks to you – it does for me – I’d urge you to check it out.)
I hear often this talk of increasing/decreasing and He’s big/we’re small…and I wondered what it means, from day to imperfect day, to be small (in the right way). What does it mean for you?
Kristen Strong says
Ah, that song is glorious truth! And yes ~ music is one of my love languages!
To me, being small means turning outward, not inward. It means speaking Scripture so I see my value not overly or underly, but reality. It means focusing on Jesus in everything I have rather than on me and everything I don’t. It is hard but worth it.
You are beautiful fresh air, Sonika. Thank you for your soul feeding encouragement. Love you. xo
sonika says
We can talk about music – wahoo! Thanks for this wisdom, friend; I do love to learn from you. And yes, I agree that it is difficult…but I hope that we can live it out alongside each other 🙂 All the same to you and more <3
Pinksmack.com says
I agree with Sonika…I think we compete against ourselves and criticize ourselves way too much and unnecessarily. We are fully capable in God’s eyes and with God’s help…so next time we hear those inner judgemental and doubtful voices remember what God says about you!
Anonymous says
This is for me Kristen! I started a new job about a month ago and two days ago I went out to do a presentation which I think/know I flopped. I felt I had let my organisation down and since then I have been having serious doubts about whether I’m up to the job and have been so upset and terrified that I’ve made myself ill.
So now this morning as I getting ready to face another day still feeling quite inadequate, and I read this post (I’ve not visited here for a few days) and I am blown away with how this message is totally directed to me.
God bless you Kristen
Kristen Strong says
Oh dearest, that is no fun. I’m praying now for God to grant you confidence afresh, and that your eyes see you and your abilities the way He does. We have fullness in Christ, sister! Let’s both walk in that truth!
Beth Williams says
Praying for strength and God-given confidence for you! May you feel and know that He is with you and will guide through everything! He gave you this job–He will help you keep it!
Tami says
Thanks for this! I’ll be repeating the “…and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority” to myself and my family today! That is also a good one for getting rid of my complacency when I lack self control or don’t want to fight to control my tongue!!!
Kristen Strong says
That’s a good word, Tami. Thank *you*.
Amy Hunt says
“Devil static” — ain’t that the truth! I often scorn myself for that kind of speak, forgetting it’s a war and the Enemy wants to devour me, including my mind. I appreciate your perspective that we allow a roadblock when we don’t focus on His truth. This is powerful and transformative.
Rich blessings, friend, as He shows you how we need you…how He needs you and your real-ness to give us encouragement that we, too, are “enough” just the way we are.
Kristen Strong says
I think Holley Gerth first used that phrase “devil static.” It does perfectly describe his droning, doesn’t it?
Thank you for your life giving words, Amy. You are joy to me!
Abigail Snyder says
Thank you so much for sharing! Last night, at volleyball practice, I too fought off the impending watershed of tears, not because anyone else was criticizing me, but because I was criticizing me. The more I focused on my errors, the more errors I made, and so the downward spiral continued. What a great reminder this morning to see God’s grace rather than my own judgment.
Thank you!
Kristen Strong says
Looking outward and upward – and not inward – with you, Abigail! Thank you for being here. You are loved.
Kacey says
Wow, this is where I was yesterday. I knew I was dealing with a mind full of lies but as I considered the state of my blog and my long list of unfinished to do’s, I couldn’t help but feel less than. Thank you for sharing.
Kristen Strong says
Oh how I tire of my to-do list bossing me around like that! Thank *you* for sharing here too, Kacey. You make me breathe easier. xo
Lisa-Jo@incourage says
Annnnnd cue the full body goosebumps from the get go on this one. Oh man, you know how much I love you. You are not just an awesome encourager. You are so so wise. I love these lines so very much “Feeling small isn’t a bad thing in and of itself. But when our mind travels from small street to the corner of unworthy and untalented, we have arrived in a dangerous part of town. We are small because of our great God, not because of great people.”
and then this: “If God is for me, who can be against me? May it not be me.”
Amen and amen
~your sis
LJ
Libby says
agreed! Love those parts too! And did you coin the phrase “devil static”? I so get that one.
Kristen Strong says
Libby, I thought Holley Gerth first coined it, but maybe it was Lisa-Jo? All I know is both women are uber smart, so when they talk I listen. 🙂
Kristen Strong says
You make me cry in a good way. Oh how I love you!
Jamie says
How many of us women know exactly what you’re speaking of? Uh, all of us? Thank you, Kristen, for sharing this. I felt exactly the same way after getting home from Allume. As I was reading blogs from the women I met, amazing writers all of them, quite suddenly, I was small, insecure and (wait for it, wait for it) mad at myself for not being like “them”.
Thank you, dear Kristen!
Kristen Strong says
Oh yes, Jamie, don’t I know.
When I feel the ugly urge to compare myself like this – and I feel it more often than I’d like to admit – I remember an (in)courage post the beautiful Angie Smith wrote a while back where she encourages us to ask God to humble ourselves and lift others up–> https://aws.incourage.me/2011/06/esteem.html Doing this helps me turn outward rather than inward, to focus on praising God for the gifts they bring to the table.
And so I praise Him for all the beauty *you* bring, darling. You are cherished and loved and I’m so thankful to have you in this community! Shine on, sister! You bless!
Victoria says
Thank you for sharing Kristen! I couldn’t hold back the tears as I read this. Somehow I grew up thinking I was never good enough at anything. Pretty much a failure at life! I know who I am in Christ, but this is something I still deal with daily. What a wonderful reminder that I AM ENOUGH in Christ!!!
Kristen Strong says
Such an awful lie, Victoria! Telling on the enemy and proclaiming this anthem with you: I am enough in Christ! We have fullness in Christ, with more than enough abilities to do what He asks of us! So thankful for you and all the beauty you bring. ((Hugs))
kyle says
Oh man… It is an encouragement to hear the “you’re not alone” message today. I spend so much of my time torn between being in the public eye and feeling ridiculously separate & invisible. The devil’s tactics to call out any negative thing he can get his hands on… whatever question marks might be floating around my brain, to get me to focus on WHAT ISN’T instead of WHO IS… those things can weight down so heavily and unnecessarily, as you so aptly point out.
If God is for us, who can be against us?? NOTHING can separate us from the love of Christ Jesus. I will cling to this, and keep clinging, and keep seeking His truth over my life. If that’s courage, then once again, today, I say, “I think I can…”. In Christ, I can.
Thanks for the message of hope. I sure needed it.
Kristen Strong says
And thank you for your message of hope, Kyle. Perfectly said.
Jessica W says
Thank you Kristen. For sharing so honestly. I think we all come to this place more often than we’d like to admit, no matter what we’ve “accomplished.” Even though we’ve never met, you’ve always been such an encouragement to me. Every word you put your hands to (and heart to) are so important. I know they have been to me.
Kristen Strong says
I think you’re right, Jessica. Well put.
And thank you for your encouragement! Hugging you through the screen, sister.
Michelle Rodgers says
Through sounds of sobbing and blurred words due to tears, I say to you THANK YOU. Thank you for being open. Thank you for being honest. Thank you for being vulnerable and open just when I needed you to be! Confidence is robbed by comparison but resurrected by hope that is in Jesus! He is our ultimate confidence builder and confidant. (in)courage is such an encouragment!
Kristen Strong says
“Confidence is robbed by comparison but resurrected by hope that is in Jesus! ” ~ This. Thank *you* Michelle!
Dawn @ My Home Sweet Home says
Girlfriend, I didn’t know about this, but I could have easily been huddled in that bathroom with you. I love you and I’m cheering for you with pompons and herkies!
Kristen Strong says
You are one of the best cheerleaders, Dawn. I love you so much!
Melinda says
It’s interesting how easily we slip into self rejection. As if our self rejection is any better than the rejection of others. It’s not self protecting it’s self damaging. What deception.
Teri Lynne Underwood says
Oh girl … I know. Really. I feel the same way every year at Relevant/Allume. I look around and see only what I’m not … and the Holy Spirit (through dear friends and a deeply discerning husband) reminds me it’s all for His glory anyway. All of it … and when I lay down my insecurities right next to my abilities and my fears right next to my accomplishments, He does His thing! Every time … He gets glory because He IS glory! And I’m left in awe at His bigness and my smallness draws up close and relishes the truth that I’m not … but He Is.
Sharon @ Hiking Toward Home says
“Oh girl … I know. Really. I feel the same way every year at Relevant/Allume. I look around and see only what I’m not …”
yup. me too.
Karen says
Thank you so much for your message and incourgement. I have a weekend coming up that I dread and it sounds so silly. On Saturday I have a baby shower to go to and hate the thought of just walking in by myself and talking to people etc. And the best part is there is no reason to feel this way(I keep telling myself that any way).
On Sunday I will be helping my daughter at a craft fair, but I feel I’m not really that much help and my daughter is just being nice having me there. That probably isn’t true.
When I read this back this does sound silly but I’m going to send it any way.
The sad part about all of this is I’m 57.
Thank you for this message any way and it does make me feel better and I have lots of faith that’s for sure.
Joyce says
All I can say is thank you for giving these feelings a voice…..you spoke right to me this morning – Thank You & God Bless You. Praying to speak them myself to myself!
Janine says
We are small because of our great God, not because of great people…those Words are so true and such a real comfort to me! We all need Jesus just the same. Thank you!
Toyin says
My sufficiency is of God.
Thanks for sharing Kristen and perfect timing too! May it not be me too! cheers
Robyn @ a bird in the Father's hand says
Thank you for posting and for your vulnerability. It’s a fight to keep my confidence too, Kristen. I’m thankful that even when the devil spits those lies, we can remember that God is on our side and He has given us powerful weapons like Colossians 2:10. I’ll also be speaking that over my life and my family. In and of my own self I’m nothing, but in Him, I have fullness … enough.
Peggy says
I so need this today. Thank you
When You Need a Steady Stream of Confidence Today says
[…] Sometimes, the things that make us ugly cry hardest are bold faced lies the Enemy shouts to condemn. Lies I too often grab onto and run away with. Today, I’m sharing a story about a time I did just that, but also how I’m bold faced telling on him. Join me and bravely share your story, too? […]
Shauna says
Kristin,
I’ve spent the better part of this week stumbling all over that issue! Comparison has kept me stumbling like a drunkard between arrogance and despair. I’ve spent a considerable amount of time berating myself for not being like the other gal and all the while missing the point. God has not called me to be like her, or do what she’s done. He’s called me to do what HE asked me to do, and to be like HIM.
If I’m striving for that, no matter how imperfectly, I have been faithfully obedient–and that’s what he asks. Someday I’m hoping to hear, “Well-done good and FAITHFUL (not perfect) servant. Come! You belong here! Enter into the joy of the Master you faithfully serve!”
Thanks for being so candid. I can relate.
Shauna
Libby says
I love it when several are sharing similar thoughts on the same day. This week our (in)courager group is talking about Balance and Time Management in ministry…something I crashed and burned at several times. I was so so hard on myself. I’ve run to the bathroom in every house we’ve been (9) in the last 12 + years and cried and said similar things to myself. I beat myself right down. For me the perspective changer happened when I started counting gifts last year. I began to see that there were actually good things, blessings in the middle of the mess…in the middle of the mess *I* was. That God has me right where I am, here and now, and it’s exactly where I need to be.
What a way to tell ourselves the Truth! I love what you share here at (in)courage Kristen. So glad your voice is here. We need to hear these things.
Pattie says
I absolutely feel like this most days. Thank you for the reminder–and the book suggestion too! I read Holley’s Amazing book and then promptly gave it to a friend.
Kristen Strong says
It’s so good, Pattie. It is the perfect follow up to “You’re Already Amazing.” Thanks for sharing here, friend!
Holly says
Thank you for your words…reading the comments shows us, I guess, that we all feel small – in the inadequate way – at some point or another! Thank you for the reminder that the God who created the universe is for us, and knows us, and created us for His purpose!
Leilani says
Thank you for this post and sharing your insecurities with us. I feel this way far too often. I’m a very shy person, so any new experience to me is nerve-wracking. Just last night I attended RCIA at my local church and felt so insecure going in there when I know little to nothing about God. The thought of being surrounded by people who go to church regularly and who ‘know’ God was completely intimidating to me. Sounds silly, right? Even as I walked to church, I prayed that God would give me the confidence and courage to make it through the class, and not turn around and walk back home.
Thank you for the reminder!
Delonna @ Chick Flick Diva says
Thank you for being honest and open. You are an amazing women of God. Never forget that you are his child and he is right there with you every step of the way. Thank you for sharing your story.
Amy says
Thank you for sharing. I deal with low self esteem and low confidence on a daily basis.
I pray and try to stay in the word. I also read women’s blogs to stay encouraged.
I am trying to start a women christian’s blog and I keep getting these voices in my head that say you are not good enough. You can’t do this. But I know, that practice makes perfect and “I can do all things through christ who strengthens me”.
blessings.
Tonya says
Thank you. Especially the verse on fullness from Christ. I have been in the midst of a battle with depression for months and some days I literally feel like a shell that is beginning to crack, much in need of that fullness. I am amazed at how many times I’ve opened the email from Incourage to find a blog post that pierces my heart with exactly what I need at the moment. I truly appreciate your honesty.
Danielle Christy says
Thank you so much for posting this! Boy did I need to hear this today. I just started really diving into writing more, and just started a new blog. Most days I’m really excited about this and where God has me but today was just the opposite, it was discouraging and sometimes I doubt because I don’t know where I’m headed. But that really isn’t our job to know is it?
Thank you again for the reminder that we are complete in Jesus, and we are enough. As much as I sing the lines if God is for me who can be against me, I never really thought that I could be that stumbling block, but the truth is I really am sometimes. This gives me a new perspective. Thanks!
Stella says
Wow. How your words today sound just like me. I have always struggled to feel as though I belong. I am my own worst critic. However in the past few weeks as I have been faithfully completing the Colossians bible study I am learning that God has always given me everything I need to be good enough. In fact I am so much more in His eyes. During this season of change and uncertainty for me your words “I have heart desires and soul dreams I want to birth. Some may need to be laid to rest on altars” brought tears to my eyes. Not in a bad way please know. It’s just that I have been hearing that still small voice of God tell me that I need to let go of some of the dreams I have had for myself to allow room for the dreams He has for me. It is always painful to let go of what we want but I am going to have to in order for God to bring to me what I need. Thank you as always for your words. They so often give voice to what so many of us are feeling.
Kristen says
Amazing. Thank you for your transparency and honesty.
Yes. Definitely get that feeling. I had my own little private meltdown on Mon night of this week feeling like a “failure”. So glad that you had friends to hold you up and give you right perspective on who you *really are*.
In Christ is the only place to be.
Blessings.
Olivia says
Oh. My. I have been having a royal pity party of my own, believing every lie the Enemy can tell me: not good enough, not enough, not smart enough. And to that you’re a failure at everything, and you will never amount to anything. And furthermore, you are alone. Thank you for your words. I am enough. I am a child of God, adopted into His family just because.
Robin Dance ~ PENSIEVE says
Kristen,
I love you. And I wish I would have known…
You’re one of my favorite people on the planet.
Seriously.
~Karrilee~ says
Thank you! I found myself in the ‘dangerous part of town’ last night while lurking around the #FMFParty on Twitter… new to the whole thing, it can be overwhelming and everyone seems so connected and already in relationship there… it’s just too easy to wander down a quiet side street unaware of what lies in the wait around the corner! Thanks for the reminder… and the honesty so we not only find our way back to safety, but our eyes are opened to actually see those walking ever so slowly back to the Light right along side of us!
(Deep breath… off to write my Five Minute Friday post now!)
~Karrilee~
Amy says
Well, there was this little room on a recent Saturday night with cupcakes that I was feeling awfully small in but I so appreciated your hug and encouragement. Thank you for that and for the vulnerability in this post. Lisa-Jo highlighted all my favorite spots 🙂
Alia Joy says
Kristen, Gaww, this is just beautiful. You could’ve been writing my experience and heart so many times over and yes, it is a struggle to hold onto the truth about ourselves. I just wanted to say how much meeting you impacted me. I felt completely loved and accepted and I know you don’t know, but your words to me affirmed something that I didn’t even know I needed. A gift from God, really. I am blessed to know you and to listen to your heart.
beth willis miller says
so true…this is where I am…it is God’s will…helps me to remember to “bloom where I am planted” 🙂
Kathi says
Kristin- did you see the ‘Be Small’ prints that Annie did at Allume?! First thing that I thought of when I read this. What a treasured message.
Mary says
Kristen…I am sorry you had this experience, but I love that you shared this with all of us. You know, at Allume the times that I got to talk with you are a treasure to me. You are wise, witty, funny, beautiful, write lovely words that speak to my heart…all of the things the evil one tells me I am not. Thank you for being YOU!
Hugs~
Mary
http://www.marybonner.net/
Karin says
Kristen – ok, ok, so, I am replying to you two times today! Your words are so real and raw and touch right where God has aimed them today. Thank you so much for sharing your heart here. I am so with you in these emotions! Funny thing is, meeting you in person, you are absolutely beautiful and charming (and very clearly a great writer!). That we would remember to be small to Him, yet not stand in His way to live up to our potential for Him (self-talk here) 🙂
Love to you, friend.
Tracey says
Oh these crazy insecurities can creep up at the most inopportune times! But it was God’s time and He surrounded you with beautiful friends to ease the burden.
You are enough and I am enough because HE is enough!
(p.s. It happened to me at Allume when Sarah Markley made us all say “I am a writer” out loud…I was smack in the front row crying all snotty with too many tears to even see to find a tissue in my purse!)
Dawn Sullivan says
I would hug you if I could. So I send you a cyber hug… Big one. And say thanks. The enemy wants to silence you. Don’t let him. Keep sharing. We need you.
Jana says
Love this, Kristen, I needed this reminder today. Thank you. jana
Katie B says
Beautiful! I love when people can be real and make themselves vulnerable! It is so helpful to feel like you are not alone and God never wants us to feel that way. Iron sharpens iron! You are so loved… look how many women you have helped by putting yourself out there. 🙂 Thank You!!
Jennifer (keltrinswife) says
I always feel small and I am never good enough. I wonder why I even blog. I am so glad that you were able to receive encouragement! Thank you for sharing your heart. YOU ARE BLESSING OTHERS! Be blessed:)
Gail says
Oh yes, I’ve been there myself these last couple of days. My words have been “I can’t seem to do this, I haven’t got the willpower that others have”. However my God is a great big God and when I put my trust in Him and not myself, my attitude changes. I become strong in Him. One of His gifts is self control and today I accept that gift and realise that is a strength I was meant to receive. Self doubt is not from God so I can say no to that.
Blessings.
AnnieO says
I will never forget the day, fresh out of college and attending my first annual conference of like-minded professional artists….. and like you, running to the bathroom with tears in my eyes that I didn’t belong – wasn’t good enough, and never would be. That was 20+ years ago. Today, I own a small business in the same profession and have learned a lot, grown a lot, tried earnestly to follow the path that was laid out before me. I am still not the best of the best, or even close for that matter! But God has shown me that the gifts He gave me are good and useful, and He has placed many clients in my path that appreciate what I do have to offer. We don’t need to be what other people are…. God gifted us each with our own unique abilities and talents, and there’s surely a place for us to shine!
Annie Barnett says
Oh, Kristen. This: “We are small because of our great God, not because of great people.” This is such a huge part of my heart. We are all so small, all so significant in Jesus. This is so vulnerable on your part, and I’m so thankful for your words here & your presence at incourage. You are loved.
Dana Butler says
Kristen… Thanks so much for your honesty here… It is fresh air. In your feelings of smallness may You encounter the God who sees YOU and knows YOU and delights in YOUR expressions of YOUR HEART. (Okay, so this is my prayer for me too.)
Thanks for your heart and your encouragement…
Brooke Burger says
AMEN!!!
Ida says
Oh thank you, you are enough, you are chosen to be his wonderful daughter and use your precious God given gift to BLESS little old me…
As I head to work today I need a steady stream of confidence! I am enough and I am God’s hands and feet in my workplace, His loving, gentle, merciful daughter, and I just needed a reminder that while I am in God’s will I don’t need people’s acceptance, for I have His love and that by far is ENOUGH!
Bless you xx
Jenn says
Oh if i had only read this as soon as I got it in my email. My eldest sister is perfect or at least seems more perfect than I am. I struggle with comparing myself to her. It is a terrible flaw on my part. Thursday night, my mom was praising my sister’s efforts and I felt insignificant. Lately all I ever feel is insignificant.
Thank you for letting me know that I am not alone in this struggle.
Aly says
I fight myself with not feeling good enough more often than I’d like to admit.
Thank you for your words and honesty. I needed this today. (I really needed it yesterday and the day before that, too!)
Rebekah says
I know the small feeling so well. I live such a small life I sometimes get lost in it.
In contrast to the verse you quoted, I recalled the verse I read earlier this week :
For he grew up before him like a young plant, and like a root out of dry ground;
he had no form or majesty that we should look at him, and no beauty that we should desire him. (Isaiah 53:2)
He became small! For me.
Thanks for sharing and being honest. For you that do this so well struggle with the same thoughts.
Melissa says
Oh have I had those moments! So many of those moments! They happen. I’m learning to fight them. I’m learning to fall back into the presence of God and rejoice in how He made me. I’m learning to live life as ME, not comparing myself to others. Remember, I said “learning”. I’m not perfect at it. 🙂 I probably never will be. But I don’t think I’m meant to be perfect at it. Because if I were, I might stop falling back into God. And He loves me too much to let that happen.
I used to beat myself up in the bad moments, chastising myself for acting “so high school!” But y’know what? It’s not just “high school”. It’s human. We don’t grow out of it. We will always long to feel good enough. So I don’t beat myself up for that any more.
Sharon says
Its so good to know we are not alone!
Beth Williams says
I have “devil static” all the time. Working in a medical clinic as the only CMA (medical assistant) with 3 RNs and 2+ NPs it is easy to feel a little “dumb, stupid, not good enough”.
I have shed many a tear over my job & prayed immensely too. God has shown me that this is where He wants me and I’m good & smart enough to do this work!
Donna says
Thank you for taking the time to write and for being willing to share. I needed that.
Jennifer@GDWJ says
Kristen Strong. You are my new hero. Thank you for your brave words. Beautiful. I have been there. Wait. Let me make that present-tense. I AM there. I struggle with this. Present-day….
I wish I could give you a real hug, but parantheses will have to do. ((((Kristen)))) And you are immensely talented! Just sayin’.
Kerry says
Thank you for sharing your heart. Your words resonated with me.
New weekly feature: Uncaged Roundup | Mary DeMuth says
[…] When You Need a Steady Stream of Confidence Today by Kristen (about feeling small among other women) […]
Tammy Helfrich says
Wow. Great and honest post.
Misty says
Thank you so much for sharing! God is calling me to something different than what my current profession is…man is it scary to listen to His voice. Your post was so encouraging…thank you.
Good Reads (10/28-11/3) « Life on the Horizon says
[…] When You Need a Steady Stream of Confidence Today – (in)courage. Love this! #courage […]
Shilo says
we are all equal and that is a great place to be. Thank you for your thoughts!
JP says
Kristen – what a wonderful share. It takes courage to lead with your vulnerabilities. Thank you.
In recent weeks I have found myself in several rooms where those around me feel like experts. They claim they’re not. I sure feel like they are.
Similar to you I feel a small in their presence.
Emotionally I’m learning to just be honest about how I feel (like you did with this post). To just say you feel uncomfortable.
Practically, I’m learning something too (we all need a strategy once we accept our weaknesses and accept who we are).
Ira Glass produces a show for NPR called This American Life. In a recent interview he talks about how:
– You want to be a story teller because you have good taste
– You will produce things for years and year before its any good. Your own taste will tell you that what you are creating isn’t good and it won’t be.
He says: “The most important possible thing you can do, is do a lot of work.”
Here is the interview – skip to part 3 if you want to jump to the above section:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loxJ3FtCJJA
For the Days You Think You’re the Only One Not in the Club says
[…] already possess fullness in Christ, and with that is confidence and security that you are enough today. So when we feel the cool temptation to see only what we do not have, may we remember to fix our […]