Ingrid K Cagwin
About the Author

Me in a nutshell? Christ-follower. Wife. Mother to four cherubs / imps. Counselor. Pastor's wife raising PK's. Former missionary. ENFJ. Fellow-traveler struggling to daily embrace God's grace.

(in)side DaySpring: things we love
& you will too!
Find more at
(in)side DaySpring:
things we love
& you will too!
Find more at
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Reader Interactions


  1. I so need this reminder today, and every day! Humbled is an understatement, but it’s what He knows is best. I too often compete with my own child for the right to be heard and known and recognized. It’s so yucky. Yet, His grace is so beautiful to have me see another way. I appreciate you today, Ingrid.

    Rich blessings as He leads you in love for those babes of His you’re raising.

  2. Mothers seem to struggle more than fathers with discipline because we tie our identity of who we are to our families more then men do. The Bible tells us foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child and it is only by authority that we banish is far from them. Mothers are the heart of the home, the tenderness, so it is hard for us to deal with the harsh reality of discipline.

    Long ago a friend helped me to understand, discipline from God is not one of emotional response but judicial. He has His absolute truths that if not obeyed, there are consequences. Children need to have consequences for bad behavior, no matter how small the offense, but the consequence cannot out weigh the offense.

    I let my son get by with too much because I allowed my emotions to get the better of me. By the time came that I understood my authority as a parent, my son was lost of me and did not respect me. He said some very painful things to me. It was hard, but I learned to parent my children by how God parented me. Boundaries were set and consequences made when those were crossed.

    My daughter was so easy to raise, because I helped her to understand God’s will for children, something I learned far to late for my son to embrace. I lost his heart and it took a long time to get it back. Later when my son wanted to move into our home with his, live in girl friend. I told him why we could not allow that with as much love as I could muster, afraid it would turn him away from us again. He did not become angry; he married the girl to make things right before God and his parents.

    Later, my son admitted he saw the change in me, the strength he could not manipulate and it caused him to seek this God I was serving. The hardest thing for any mother is to stand strong against the foolishness of a child, but God is able to teach us how.

  3. Thank you so much for this post. My son (8years old) and I have been in an ugly power struggle lately. When the storm calms, I am ashamed and embarrassed at how I have reacted to his misbehavior.

    This point of view is exactly what I need. I love the way God works. This morning I’ve been praying for help with this problem. 🙂

    Blessings to you!

  4. Although not blessed to be a parent, this so speaks to my current situation in my work environment. THANKS!!! I needed that and will be re-reading it for several days to come!

  5. Ingrid, thank you for sharing this … I am a preschool teacher and this year several of His little lambs are challenging me mightily. I especially loved reading the last paragraph. Your words really spoke to me today. I am feeling refocused in my calling 🙂 Thanks!!

  6. This is a great post! Thank you! A great heart-motives-check for those moments when I feel “owed” respect by my son. It should be about teaching Him to respect me because it brings God glory…not simply because I deserve it… because frankly… I don’t.

    Bless you! And thank you!! 🙂

  7. Totally LOVE the “Really Wooly” cards!! I , like your daughter, am a “card sender” = sometimes I make them, more often than not I buy them. I buy lots of the “Really Wooly” cards. I have a pastor friend in South Africa who’s on kidney dialysis so I send MANY to her. Thank you for the contest and for your words of encouragement always!

  8. love the UNeeks card pack and also the hope and encouragement pack by holley gerth..Great selection- hard to chose..My neice and I still send eachother cards- she is now 16 and we’ve been doing it for years..Love to brighten someones day this way!

  9. I think this could apply to any situation. I know some of my biggest hurts wouldn’t hurt so much if I didn’t crave people’s respect, and if I always found my worth in Him.

  10. YES! So applicable to other areas of life— identity is, obviously, central to who we are. Was focused on the presenting issue in my life– my parenting relationship with my eldest– but am so very thankful for those of you who saw beyond that situation and applied it to your own. Thanks for reading!