I am overwhelmed by the fears you have shared.
I wanted to share with you the moment everything changed for me. God became bigger than my fears and everything I was so afraid of shrunk in his shadow.
The night that I finally saw the waste of all my fear, I was tucked away on my bathroom floor late, reading the blog of a girl who was living as if God was real in Uganda, Katie Davis. Reading about a girl living with no fear, obeying Jesus with every part of her life. Seeing someone live so bravely exposed all of my fear.
I had been living paralyzed by the fear of people. At some point I started crying, hard. My heart was broken. Every god I had built and stroked and justified fell onto the bathroom floor that night with my tears. The life I was building was crashing before me. I grieved.
I grieved the control I had given to everyone around me by caring so much about their opinions of me. I grieved the life I had built around a plastic god and a pretend heaven that had only seemed slightly possible. I grieved a life that was spent on myself, the excess I had justified while others suffered. I grieved sitting back and controlling my image rather than pouring out my life and gifts for His name’s sake.
I grieved that my mind had been spent solving my own simple problems rather than giving my life away for the few years I am here.
And then I saw God—the real God—and I saw the moment I would meet him. He was on his throne with eyes fixed on me, questioning why I had sought my comfort more than him. Why had I loved people more than him? Why had I sat on every gift he had given me to make him known? Because I cared more about being judged by everyone else but him?
I weep now again as I write this. I weep because I almost got away with a wasted life. What if I had blown off the interruptions he was offering? I might be stuck with the mediocre life I was so afraid of losing at the time. But it was like he lifted my head, while I was in a puddle on the bathroom floor, and let me see into his heart, into heaven, into the brokenness of those suffering, into my own soul.
And in a moment what had never occurred to me made perfect sense. So much sense that I was willing . . . desperately willing. . . to do anything.
Two years after praying anything we met one of our anythings…
Meeting Cooper from Jennie Allen on Vimeo.
I sat on the concrete steps overlooking a patch of grass where my kids were playing soccer and I watched as my oldest son kicked a Rwandan soccer ball to his new little brother.
Tears came as I felt God whispering,
“Jennie, what if you had been too afraid to obey me?”
Look at what you would have missed.”
BE BRAVE! Pray. Obey. You don’t want to waste this life.
And tell us now, if you think you are starting to know – What is your anything? Will you take a photo – share it over here with us?
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My anything is FAITH:
I think maybe my anything will be asking (or at least hinting at asking) my best friend to hang out with me sometime this summer.
My anything…….is to go where God leads and hand someone a simple meal.
Jennie Allen says
I love this!
I am partway into my anything…and excited to see where God leads from here. My hubby and I sold our dream home a few months ago and have bought a “lesser” home in an area where we can build better community and where we have really felt God asking us to be. We also freed up a bunch of cash in doing so – I’m really excited to see how God will use this as we go forward!
My anything… is to allow God to use me through the talents He has trusted me with in order to reach the broken and the lost.
That’s my anything.
Jennie Allen says
Mindy @ New Equus - A New Creation says
To be a voice for God…even if I have to leave the 99 to reach the 1.
My anything is to do whatever God tells me to do….whether that be to clean the nursery before church services, or help do bulletin boards for classrooms, or listen to a teenage girl open up her heart and cry on my shoulder….right now that’s my anything
Jennie Allen says
Beautiful- it is often the stuff no one sees. I love your heart to serve.
My anything is to give up control so that GOD can use me as He chooses… To get passed my fears and insecurities and just do….
My anything is Purpose. I am afraid my life won’t have purpose. Did God change the direction of our family’s life or did I mess up and land us here? Because of that I am afraid we’ll/I’ll not be accepted and that instead of living a life of meaning I will live a life swayed from one day to the next by fears and expectations of others and my own.
I shared this and a picture of myself (what does purpose look like anyway?) on the “clothesline”. This has been actually really great for me to think about this week. I appreciate you inviting us all to join you in thinking about this together.
Beth Williams says
My anything is more willing to give money to worthy causes instead of wondering if I’ll have enough to pay bills. Always have always will have enough–Jesus is enough!
My anything is living in spite of fears and dissappointments in my life and not allowing them to affect my choices or to steal my joy!
(I had printed that story by Katie myself to pass on and share and have appreciated your anything posts so much, thank you!)
Jennie Allen says
Del Marie says
This couldn’t be more timely. I prayed my Anything Saturday afternoon as we were kicked out of the pre-op area. The alarms beeping, doctors busy behind curtains, and us standing there listening and not knowing. My daughter was hit head by a pick up truck early Saturday morning. The truck came to rest on top of her little Aveo with her trapped inside. Firefighters had to pry the vehicles apart with a chain before they were able to even get to her. After an hour they were able to cut her from her car that literally cacooned her, protecting her life. God’s hands folded that car around her just so. Even the police officer said he had never seen a car do that. Her injuries are only broken bones. Left leg, left arm, left elbow, and right hand. She’s already been up standing on her legs and using her arm. Her right hand will be fixed with surgery tomorrow. God has blessed us so much. I prayed my anything. Now I’m just waiting to hear/do what He would like me to do. I pray I will hear him. Please keep my daughter in your prayers for a speedy recovery.
Jennie Allen says
Praying for you and your daughter. Thankful she is ok!!
Kaitlin @ Perceptions & Passions says
Really needed this today. I am taking a HUGE plunge next Tuesday in my life and I. AM. TERRIFIED.
Oh, Lord. Can I really do this?
Virginia Stewart says
This is the “miracle” God done in my soul and spirit this morning….that I seen how I
had been made a prisoner of FEAR As I came out of 37 years of marriage where I came
out of DEEP FEAR DUE TO SEVERE TRAMA and lost my idenity..as the marriage was empty of love and acceptance.
So that part of my life 37 years…satan attacked me…CHRIST WITHIN with his firey darts damage in my soul and spirit.
The last say 12 years…satan was attacking me with “ME” my brokenness of not being
able to be around people.
The Holy Spirit showed me I had opened doors to satan thru self pity self justification
and unforgiveness which is UNLOVING SPIRIT and I had to REPENT and ask God to
forgive me for all the self pity self justicication and UNFORGIVENESS for all that touched my heart and life.
Today…I FORGAVE MYSELF…AAND I CANCELED ALL POWER OF SATAN OVER ME
IN JESUS NAME…I CAST YOU OUT SATAN GO TO PLACE JESUS PREPARED FOR YOU.
Lord Jesus cleanse my heart of all unrighteousness…Bring wholeness to my heart.
In Jesus name Amen.
The Holy Spirit showed me today…
Jennie Allen says
Wow Virginia. I am so thankful with you!
My anything is to go ahead and speak the encouraging words, extend the helping hand without fear of rejection
My anything is to go ahead and speak the encouraging words, extend the helping hand without fear of rejection or judgement or worrying about my yet-undone list.
Healing the past, letting go of approval and insecurity. Be willing to listen because my anything is……
more than one thing.
My anything is to let go of the busyness that I surround myself with and really, truly listen for His voice and trust what He is telling me. What is His plan for me, not what is my plan for me. Where does He want me instead of where I want me.
I thought my anything was one definitive direction (writing a book about my dad) until I realized that God and I are in sync and I know I am following Him – but I have not talked to my husband about much of it. I believe my anything is to bring the Lord more fully into our relationship, praying more as a couple, asking for our anything TOGETHER and seeing how much more abundantly we can bless others. Ouch, what a wakeup call.
C.C. @ I'm On My Way - my journey as a Christ follower, wife, mamma, & fibromyalgia fighter says
My anything – finding a way to minister even though my health has dramatically changed my life.
Britiney @ Consider the Lilies says
I don’t even know what my anything is. That’s how desperately I needed this today. To be able to even ask God what my anything should be. What I’m afraid of and what He has for me.
Amy Hunt says
I’ve recently been brought to a place, after a long slow process, of being willing for anything. It took a lot to get here. So much that it brings me to tears just thinking about it. I’ve written a lot and engaged a community around my Anything. Through the process (that I don’t believe is wasted whatsoever), my faith has been strengthened and I’m able to trust Him better.
My Anything is conception of a second child and the possibility (the Wonder) of adoption as a reality. I’ve always talked about adoption without even realizing what I was doing. I’d talk about it with such confidence and then when faced with the thought, I’d dismiss it…I’d dismiss His ability to do so much more in us than we can ever imagine.
I’m so drawn to this book and I truly believe God has brought me to this season. A willingness to See…
I think I am doing my anything right now … I am currently living in a place that I would never have chosen to live to take care of my elderly mama! My whole family had to agree to this and it is only God’s hand that accomplished that!!
my anything is anywhere…for three years we have been raising support to go to Brazil as missionaries. After being here for six months the door is shutting and it looks like God might be sending us to Alaska??
I need this book. I still have a fear of surrendering everything to Him and so I don’t feel I’m living up to the potential He should expect from me.
Helen G. says
My anything is the fear of failing as a parent, wife and friend.
My anything is choosing joy for each and every day of life that God gives me – no matter what it holds.
Thanks so much for this! My anything will be to speak the truth in love instead of holding it all in. Sometimes we are called to be silent and other times we are called to confront.
I’m struggling, handing over my anxiety to God isn’t happening. Why can’t I let it go into his hands. The sickness and the knots in my stomach are common place why can’t I replace them with trust. I’m afraid, I’m scared, I’m feeling lost.
My husband and I are searching for our anything. Being a young newly married couple with many hopes and dreams for our future, we are trying to figure out what it is that God wants for us rather than what we want. It’s a blurry line, but I am praying that God will reveal his plan for our lives.
Jennie, your story melted my heart, i am living the life you were. Meeting Cooper is the most beautiful story of the Amazing hand of God. I just bought your book and can’t wait to start reading it. Please pray that through the Holy Spirit i will let go of my mediocre comfort and give “Anything” This met me right where i am. God Bless you and your beautiful family.
I realized my “anything” last winter going through a severe battle of anxiety and depression over some “suspicious moles” my dr. was concerend about htat needed to be removed and biopsied. I remember saying to God as I cleaned the bank “God, Ii want YOU more than I don’t want to be sick. I want YOU more than I don’t want skin cancer”. And later, God, I want YOU and Your Presence more than I don’t want anxiety and depression…I just so deperately need You!”
My Anything is my health, and my Everything is my Jesus!