What happens when you awaken to the fact that life is not quite what you imagined it to be? When hopes and dreams are not coming to fruition and you can see no way clear that they ever will? What happens when you wake up to a tantrum and it’s your own?
These grown up temper tantrums are not the throw yourself on the ground and kick and scream, although sometimes it does seem tempting. No. Grown-up tantrums take on a grown up kind of feel. They are manifested through various ways. It could be a subtle emotional disconnect from husband, children, loved ones. It could be a checking out of the moment and living in the ‘what ifs’.
It can be listening to lies that eventually spread to reality skewing what is truth.
But no matter how the tantrum manifests itself, what we are saying is this: ‘I don’t like this—this is not what I hoped for, dreamed for, planned for and I want it changed…now!’
Surrender is one key to stopping the tantrum.
Surrender to God who breathes stars and by his voice put this world in motion and is also in control of my personal little world.
Trust is the other.
Trust that he has my back and everything I experience goes through the filter of his love—including difficulties. Especially difficulties.
Staying the course when I ride the same conflict wheel over and over again like a little hamster in a wheel makes me want to scream. Staying the course when my decisions are questioned by people who matter can grip me with indecision. Staying the course when I’m not really at the beginning and I am not at the end, but somewhere in the middle feels like an unending road trip.
Growing up on the plains of Montana I know the meaning of ‘middle of nowhere’ and up there, you have to stay the course to get to your destination. There are no pit stops. The road stretches out unendingly before you and the landscape appears to engulf you. Some have called the plains of Montana desolate and barren, but I have learned to see the beauty.
Is it possible to view this ‘staying the course’ time as beauty as well? When all seems barren and desolate and I long to turn back or take a different course, couldn’t I ask for my eyes to be opened to the beauty of this time?
I need to look for Isaiah 41:18-19: ‘I will make rivers flow on barren heights, and springs within the valleys. I will turn the desert into pools of water and parched ground into springs. I will put in the desert the cedar and the acacia, the myrtle, and the olive. I will set pines in the wasteland, the fir and the cypress together, so that people may see and know, may consider and understand, that the hand of the Lord has done this, that the Holy One has created it.’
I have learned that the Lord’s power is more majestic and amazing when it is showcased against a backdrop of a barren and desolate landscape. Could it be that during this ‘staying the course’ time, the Lord is simply waiting for me to trust Him and to trust His power in my life?
Could we agree together that no matter the landscape we will surrender and trust Him to turn barrenness into beauty? He will, my friend, and it will knock your socks off. And when he does, will you rejoice with me?
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Amy @ themessymiddle says
Something that also helps me is to find meaning in the ordinary — so many messages we are given (and lies we are told) is that everything we do needs to be fascinating! and the landscape ever changing and new. While I don’t belive God wants us bored, I do believe there is potential in the ordinary. Last week I stumbled on this gem (http://messymiddle.com/2012/05/07/i-am-a-meat-hook-for-jesus) and am committed for this week to view myself and my work as gold meat hooks! Amy
Anonymous says
Yes! Ordinary potential–I love it!
Elizabeth says
This comes at the perfect time. I am wrapping my heart all around this for a bit. Am going to re-read and do some pondering on the meat of this. And for good measure, I will wrap my head around it too. Many thanks for laying this out there. Gratefully….resting on these words.
Beth Williams says
Jess
“What happens when you awaken to the fact that life is not quite what you imagined it to be? When hopes and dreams are not coming to fruition and you can see no way clear that they ever will? What happens when you wake up to a tantrum and it’s your own?” That is my sentiment!! In 2004 I went back to school got a degree in Medical Assisting–but not the kind of job I wanted & now my job is even less what I wanted or trained to do–just paperwork!
I have had temper tantrums for several months now. I usually just get frustrated with work & how it’s going & either cry or get mad at someone or something. I have done the disconnect thing a time or two. Exercise, & prayer are 2 vehicles that really work for me.
Going to keep this one & remember the scriptures!
Thanks for a most timely post!
Jessica says
May I pray that you find peace and His beauty wrapped in the package of dreams gone awry and that he would reveal his purpose for you!
Angel says
Thank you so much for this post. It is confirmation for me… I sometimes like to step back and remind myself at times that it is NOT about me. I am working on a post right now titled Less of Me, more of You… I want to make this my lifes motto.
Thank you once again for your beautiful words!
Jessica says
Ah yes–everywhere there are messages that convey that life is about me….but it’s not is it? It is about Him and only Him and He is our audience and our calling. Blessings to you tonight!
maria says
thank you for your words…you have a gift for words and the Lord is using it for His kingdom…may you see many more of His blessings!!
Jessica says
You bless me so very much. He does pour out his blessings–sometimes I simply need to have my eyes open. Thank-you and draw near to Him!
Toiya Paige says
Right now, I am in the middle of my own temper tantrum. I am learning to lean into the pain and let go of my expectations. Thank you for reminding me that I have to trust Him because He is the one in control, not me. Your post has been a blessing to me today. Again, thank you!
Jessica says
Ah–the leaning into pain…..why is it we have a tendency to shy away from pain and so often it is when we lean into the pain and through the pain that his glory is revealed on the other side? I am praying for you right now—-keep on leaning and keep on trusting.
Jennifer says
Thank you! I am looking for beauty in the barrenness.
Jessica says
Keep looking! Seek him with all your heart. He will reveal himself!
Liz says
Perfect timing!
I had a couple of very sad events in my life that shook my self worth, not knowingly but so that bit by bit I realize now that I allow circumstance to back up my melting opinion about myself….. “ah-ha!”, I said yesterday, “See, that just proves I’m not …..”
This comes on the morn of a night of just beating myself up over things (not good enough) and telling myself this morning to not let this melting down of self to go any further!
Lies (that I accept about myself, that I have allowed to become my own lies!)…. surrender, trust!!!
Your words are a soothing balm to my tired eyes this morning, thank you!
Jessica says
Ah–my heart aches and echoes your song. To view circumstances through the lens of the word of truth is difficult at times…but may I remind you of who you are? You are made in His image. you are the apple of his eyes. You are more than a conqueror. you reflect His beauty. you are his joy. Remember. Cling. Praise. Repeat. Repeat and repeat until habits form. Lifting you up in prayer….
Deanna Carter says
Thank you. With Mother’s Day approaching, my barreness is ever before me… Your words remind me that God has a plan and a purpose… that my struggles in my marriage can become beauty for ashes….that God’s power is greater than anything I feel or face and He can cause me to bloom beautifully, also in the barren places, to His glory.
Jessica says
Yes and joy comes in the morning! Bloom. Soak in the rays of his love. Feed on his word. I will be praying for you this weekend….that God would hold you in his palm and you would feel the shelter of his wings.
Nan says
I had my sock knocked this weekend after three, long years of hard, desert living and it was so worth the wait! Live in confident dependence on the Lord: paraphrased from Hosea 12:6
Jessica says
Yes….desert living can be long and hard but God will knock our socks off! Love Hosea and thanks for sharing! God bless you!
Melinda says
Surrender the temper tantrums is exactly what I couldn’t say, but needed to continue responding to the call. I’ll be rejoicing and bringing my harvest with me from seeds of surrender. Beautiful.
Jessica says
I will rejoice with you! Seeds of surrender–what a wonderful word picture for me to carry today!
Beth says
Wonderful post…and ironic that just last night, I also wrote a post about a temper tantrum. My own. Now, mine was the fist pounding kind (real mature, I know) but you describe the one that sets as a backdrop to most of our lives; the one that is the nagging “Is this all there is?” statement. Yes, to find beauty and meaning and purpose in the ordinary, the mundane, the life is just so DAILY is the key to life, and the key to how God wants us to live. Thanks for writing this and sharing your heart.
Jessica says
Thank-you for being transparent about your own temper tantrum–I have had my share of those as well, but you are right…it is the DAILY living this Christ life out that I long to strive for as well!
Amy Hunt says
Jess,
This is where I have been recently. And perhaps where I still am a little bit. I’ve not been able to find the words but have felt as though I’ve been pitching a fit. And it’s taken surrender to get to this peace. It’s scary, this faith. But, it’s scarier to keep living with angst. I believe He has given me specific dreams and that I will be a part of them someday. It’s hard to stay the course and choose courage and just trust in His ways–as miraculous as they are.
Your words are so beautiful. Such a reflection of your heart for Him.
Rich blessings as you continue to learn surrender and your trust of Him grows deeper.
Jessica says
Faith is scary, but living out this life in disobedience to the One who Loves and Lives is scarier for me. So each day, one step, one moment and faith grows and trust deepens. Praying that you stay the course and choose courage!
Amy Hunt says
What beautiful encouragement–one step, one moment and faith grows and trust deepens. Nothing is wasted. So grateful.
tammy@meadows speak says
Wow. just wow {every word of it}.
Jessica says
Thank-you and hugs…..
Stacey says
Sometimes the barren backdrop with its peaks and valleys makes it even more difficult to trust and surrender. My temper tantrums are a habit, and as a new believer I am learning what they really are is rebellion. Thanks for this reminder, it was painful to read given the circumstances of the day, but needed.
Jessica says
Ah–you are growing! Yes–temper tantrums can be just that–rebellion. Rebellion to the plans God has for me right. now. and once we realize that….well…then we can grow because God can come in and whisper his words to our hearts and we will listen. God bless you as you trust him and grow in your faith!
Lynn Burgess says
Thank you today for being God’s messenger. I am always amazed how He provides just what I need to hear when I need to hear it. He speaks in and through others in ways that constantly remind me of His power in my life. I’m not where I wanted, but I am where God put me. I needed that reminder today.
Jessica says
‘I’m not where I wanted, but I am where God put me’….what an amazing testimony of surrender. Thank you for encouraging me and others through your words.
Kim says
Trust & Surrender…two words the Lord has spoken to me several times in this season of my life! I’ve definitely tried to squirm my way out of it even more times! Thank you for this post, which reminds me once again that this place is where He wants me and I can rejoice while I’m here!
Jessica says
yes! Rejoice in the trust and surrender! may He reveal more and more of himself to you!
CHRISTINAELANGWE says
Thank you very much for your words. I can say that is exactly where I find myself now I seem to be in the middle of nowhere. The road seems to go on and on and does not seem to want to end. I keep telling myself this is not what I dreamed of or planned for and I just keep asking is it evergoing to end oneday. But reading your articlemakesme take one long at the situation and I ask myself if there really is no beauty in the situation. But the I realise after all that there is at least some beauty if Ilook hard and long for it. It is not allas ugly asit seems. God bless you
Jessica says
I am praying that today, you would see that beauty and that the longer you look for that beauty the easier it will be to see! I pray you rest in His arms today!
Darcy @ Message in a Mason Jar says
During a dry spell in my life a while back, I took on a verse from Jeremiah as my theme: “The people who survived the sword found grace in the wilderness.” Sometimes the barrenness is a gift, a place to be free of previous dangers/distractions, to define your relationship with the Lord and to churn up a real thirst for the milk and honey of the Promised Land.
Jessica says
yes and Amen!!