I remember the first time I watched a full-fledged, 1980s, gratuitous horror movie.
It was “Nightmare on Elm Street,” the one with the school bus and all the teenagers end up in hell or something. It was terrible. I’d been invited to a seventh grade slumber party at Jessica Monroe’s house and as we all settled into our sleeping bags, one of the girls hit PLAY on the VHS player.
I’d never seen anything like it in my life.
My parents kept me sheltered from certain shows on TV and we had a rule that we weren’t allowed to watch “anything with guns in it.” And even though my sister and I had sneaked viewings of different scary stuff, this rattled me to my core.
By the time Freddie Kreuger had shed his razor nails for the last time, almost all of the girls had fallen asleep. Except me. I was awake, alone in a sea of slumbering 13 year olds in a strange house.
I’m not sure if I slept at all that night. I was absolutely terrified.
I hate scary. Whether it is a result of experiences like that or just how my personality is put together, I hate the element of fear and disgust that many Americans thrive on.
I am not a fan of haunted houses. I hate scary movies. So I have lived most of my life avoiding what would put fear into my heart.
This kind of fear went beyond skipping the October parties of my friends and bled over into my life choices. Many of my youthful decisions were made based on fear. I feel like I’m only learning NOW, in my adulthood how to do scary things, and how to, with steeled face, approach terrifying situations with courage.
I believe it can be very simple: leaning INTO the fear and leaning ON what you know to be true.
It isn’t always simplistic in the midst of the scary, but the only way to get through something most of the time is, well, through it. Not around it or beneath it. Not above it or with deft side stepping moves. Through.
Leaning IN to fear means letting yourself do that thing that terrifies you. It’s pulling off the band-aid, so to speak. Leaning into it means you breathe deeply, close your eyes, and rest in the fact that this is all out of your control. Leaning into fear is the choice to do something fear-inducing because it’s good for you, you’ll be a better person if you do, and it will give you courage for the next time.
Leaning ON what you know is true is as simple as it reads. The plane won’t crash because few do. My children won’t die because most children live to adulthood. I won’t get attacked because crime has been down in the city. I won’t be alone because at the end of it all, I’ll still have Christ.
{Knowing that bad things DO happen, I’m addressing the irrational fears that control many of us, wake us up in the middle of the night and hijack our minds and hearts.}
Leaning on God and leaning on truth helps to bring the irrationality of fear back to the rational truth of Jesus. That He cares for YOU. That He loves YOU. And that He’ll never leave YOU.
With that, with His perfect love, there is no fear.
Last month my husband and I traveled to Peru with Compassion International. I wasn’t scared of leaving the country without my kids and I wasn’t really scared of traveling. I wasn’t fearful of dangerous situations or of the crazy drivers in the city of Lima. I was, however, fearful that seeing that kind of poverty would forever change me.
For months leading up to it I wondered at that and I was scared.
I decided that I must lean in to it and lean on what I knew to be true. As I leaned into that fear, I decided that I must go and as I went I would open my eyes and my heart to what God would teach me. I leaned on to the truths that I knew God had taught me thus far.
That His grace was sufficient.
That He would provide for each of us.
That even in change, He would walk me through.
I don’t watch many scary movies these days but I’ve been trying to do the things that are scary in order that I may lean more heavily on Jesus.
by Sarah Markley who’s heart is still in Peru,
who knows what it’s like to be scared out of her mind
and who would love to see the cycle of poverty broken in Latin America.
Do you embrace the “scary?” How do you conquer fearful situations?
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