About the Author

Holley Gerth is a Wall Street Journal bestselling author, counselor, and life coach. Her newest release is The Powerful Purpose of Introverts: Why the World Needs You to Be You. She's also wife to Mark, Mom to Lovelle, and Nana to Eula and Clem.

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  1. Talking to someone else and getting another perspective helps me. When I pray in that condition I’m focusing on me and I tend not to really hear. So my brothers are great to bounce my lost self off of and they’re gentle and wise. I’ve been given much grace in them. This past Sunday I told one of them how bad I was feeling and he said it’s just a feeling. It gave me a little courage to go and try and finish the day with a spot of joy.

  2. Oh Holley. I had a situation the other day that I worked through and my husband’s perspective on it made me see things differently and that helped. I try and remember something that Priscilla Shirer said at her simulcast last year: “Our identity is not what label others have given us or the label we have given ourselves! Our identity is in Christ!!” Then she lists who we are and the correlating Bible verses. A great reminder. Love it!!

    God Bless and have a wonderful day 🙂

  3. Beautiful post…thanks so much for again sharing your heart! I get there too…where I feel I can’t be the person I need to be. It is usually because I set unrealistic expectations for myself and others and them am let down. My husband is a good sounding board for me…he points out the truth in love and can be such a great example to me about faith and trusting God in ALL things. So when I get upset or frightened about what’s next…he helps balance me in what we know….”I will never leave you or forsake you…”
    Thanks again for this book and for sharing your heart…even when it is hard! 🙂

  4. I have to get out of my own head and hear real words of truth ,out loud, from someone I trust. Holley, your book has made such an impact on me and opened my eyes to the hurt and discouragement of woman all around me. I can’t stop telling women how amazing they are! I think I am becoming a human lie detector. Women have to know that what they have been believing about themselves is simply not true–and that the truth about them is AMAZING! Thank you so much.

  5. Amen! You have no idea how I needed to hear this post this morning and how much I need to read this book!! Thank you for writing it and for telling all of us this. I am very much looking forward to reading this and watching the videos done as part of the book club! THANK YOU! ♥

  6. Such a timely word. We all have times that we are not who we should be. Guess that is the human nature in us.

  7. What an encouraging post to kick off this book study!

    Ugh, I have soooo been there too! I always talk to my husband & my mom to vent it all out – they both offer wonderful perspectives!

    So grateful that we all CAN make our “messy, glorious way back to who we really are”!

  8. Thanks Holly,
    I so appreciate what you shared, and it is true! Just knowing the Father loves me when I think I’m at my worst helps me get through those days. When we know we are loved, we feel secure in His Presence, and His Promises. Lifting my hands and letting go of whatever I need to let go of at the moment brings back the peace of heart and mind.

  9. Thanks for sharing your experience. It is so good to know that although we are a mess, “He makes beautiful things out of us”.

  10. I am so glad you posted this. I blogged yesterday about some meltdowns I’ve been having and I’m happy to know I’m not the only one. I appreciate your heart and I’m looking forward to reading the book with the rest of the community.

  11. This post today has relly put me in a good state of mind. I have found myself floundering emotionally and spiritually the last few weeks. I have sort of floated through my days in a kind of zombie-like state….doing the same things day in and day out not really being thankful for the good and bad in my life. With the beginning of Spring, I feel a renewal to really get myself back on track to being me and opening like the proverbial flower that has been hidden under the snows. I am looking forward to this book study and it’s positive effects on me.

  12. I am glad you wrote this. I guess sometimes I think that people who are successful and published are somehow better than the rest of us who struggle in the day-to-day. I had many days the past 3 weeks where I was feeling much like this post. What helped was getting back in the Word, turning off Facebook, and looking at God’s creation. It all helped.

  13. I loved this! I know something is really wrong when my cats seem worried about me and my daughter says “Mom, I’m not going to smile until you do”. Lately when I get really down, God reminds me of this dream I had a few years ago…”One weekend in January 2011, as I was preparing a personal devotional that I would post on my friend Josie’s blog, I began to feel the attacks of the enemy and was falling fast into pit of self-loathing. The lies were beginning to surface again. I decided to take a nap, which is usually the wrong choice…but I had a dream. I was meeting Josie because she was writing an introduction to my devotional. She was including physical characteristics as well, which I thought was strange. I asked why that was important and she said “just wait and see”. The dream transitioned – Jesus was giving me a glimpse of God knitting me together in my mother’s womb. It was so vivid and absolutely amazing. Though His words were not audible, it was God telling me in a still, small, voice ”You are mine, I created you, look and see the care that I took in forming you. I love you. Nothing you can do can change that. Don’t be so hard on yourself because that takes away from the beauty of my creation”.” Christina Hernandez, Planted in the Word
    Reading what God says about me in His word confirms his message in that dream.

    • Christina,
      Thank you for sharing your dream. It really blessed my me. I have been feeling like I was not living up to what He wanted me to be. This re-affirmed His Love for me in a personal way. I am usually my own worst critic – now I am more aware of what I have been doing. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart.
      May He Richly Bless you.

  14. This is what I think makes your book so incredibly pragmatic.

    It’s both universal and specific at the same time (how did you DO that?? haha).

    My dear, dear sister just recieved it two days ago and I pray that she takes the time to have coffee with you.

  15. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!!
    I just received my book last night and can’t wait to dig in!! Such a blessing.

    Have an AMAZING day!!

  16. Reading your post this morning hit me head on. I have just gone through two “meltdown” days. Grabbing hold of my LORD with both hands was not as easy this time, but very very necessary. Your book showed up in the nick of time. God Bless you for letting us know we’re not nuts. AND we are LOVED and Accepted even when we act like we are.

  17. No matter what we think and know, I think we ALL still have those days. God gave us emotions, so why not use them every once in a while. But the point is that we can pick ourselves up, dust of and move on.

  18. I want to express my heaetfelt thanks to whomever helped with my book. In times of stress, I try to get alone with Jesus,even for a few moments to hand it all to Him. And I truly hope to hear “thats my girl”

  19. “What helps you believe what’s true even on the hard days? ”

    You do, my friend….thanks for the chat the other day….

    My girls….my sweet friends that gently remind me that I believe that God created me for a specific purpose and that every day I get an opportunity to live that out. Thanks my friend, for being one of them…

    CK

  20. Sweet Holley. As God always does, your post came to me in perfect timing. Thank you for the reminder that although we sometimes slip up in less than amazing ways, God sees us as the amazing person He created us to be.

    I find myself crawling in the lap of Jesus when I mess up. Resting in him reminds me of who I really am. Then I’m able to get up and apologize or do what He has told me with His sweet whisper and move forward.

    Yesterday I studied Zaccheus. I was reminded that with all that he did to mess up, Jesus called him down from the Sycamore tree and said – (in my paraphrase) “Hey buddy, let’s go hang at your house. I think some time with me is just what you need to change your heart.”

    And the best news of all is that Zaccheus did get his heart radically changed – not from Jesus reminding him of how he messed up. But of Jesus spending time reminding him of who JESUS IS.

    I know now what book will be in the Easter baskets of my sisters and nieces and girlfriends… Bless you today. Gigi

  21. I just started reading this book and am gripped by it! I love your transparency and your willingness to admit your flaws. It’s helping me to see we are all flawed, but still very loved by the King! I will be buying this for my stepdaughters, too. They need to learn these truths now before they struggle through 20 years of wondering if they are good enough. Thank you for sharing your heart with us!

  22. My heart has been broken so many times but Mom recently said, “Honey, let ’em see the cracks in your armor, let ’em see the brokenness…that’s how the Light gets out.” -Wynonna Judd

    I heard Wynonna say these words right before she sang one of my favorite songs “I
    Can Only Imagine”. This morning I had a mini melt down too. Having to leave my children for a week after being gone ten days with only one day home I was a wreck when two of the three clocks in my room were still an hour behind. I failed to say goodbye before they left for school. I felt like an awful mother and was struggling with even getting dressed.
    Being transparent with our faults takes away the Enemy’s power. My children accepted my apologies readily and I know I’m loved. I’m relieved that I was able to move forward and receive God’s perspective about my worth. I don’t need to be ashamed by my cracks…but can let the Light shine through.

  23. Like all the other women who have posted already, I too am greatful for the words God gives you to minister to us. What helps me on hard days?….I love to walk and pray the attributes of God. I use the alphabet…A=God You are AMAZING, B=You are believeable and so on. This totally changes my focus and attitude.

  24. Yay for you! You get it!!
    I know…it IS hard to remember.
    I remind myself that God doesn’t make mistakes. It might be a horrible terrible day, but it’s His will for my life. I need to be obedient, and not run ahead, physically OR EMOTIONALLY!
    It takes practice, and a desire to be changed…

  25. Having such a hard day as a new mom. Feel like I don’t know what I am doing! Also feel like I am not enough or need to do more. I try and reach out to people but I often feel like a failure for even admitting my flaws. Seems like other people have it together and I don’t. This book is life changing. I need to renew my mind.

    • Oh, precious Karen! As a new mom you are likely battling hormone issues as well. I tend to see people as “all together” as well. It is a lie many of us poison ourselves with. So much is being demanded of you at this time in your life. Take some time for yourself, even if it’s just a warm bath with an inspiring book–Holley’s:)?–or a nice stroll in the sun. Hold onto the truth that God is crazy about you just the way you are. You hold a special place in His plan that only you can fill. Don’t force it. He will guide your next step. Love Christ, thank Him for even the tiniest things–say dirty diapers! (even if you don’t feel like it), draw closer to Him through the Word and quiet time. You are wonderful just the way you are!

  26. Holley, thank you for your open and honest transparency…what helps me believe what’s true even on the hard days is remembering that Jesus is with me…His name is Emmanuel–God with us…this is the question I ask myself on those hard days…
    What would a girl just like me do in a situation just like the one I’m in, if she was ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that God was with her?
    I am absolutely certain that Jesus is with me…in the tiniest details of those hard days…I wrote about one of the ways He revealed this to me in this blog post…
    http://bethwillismiller.blogspot.com/2009/10/milk-drop-coronet.html

  27. You do, friend. You’re always there to encourage. Feel free to call me on an ugly cry day and I’ll tell you how amazing you are. 🙂

  28. I won this book on my friend’s blog and am too excited about it!!! (LaurieWallin.com) I’ve already read the first two chapters. Is there a way to subscribe to just the book club part of bloom?

  29. Holley , Your honesty is just so refreshing. I read the first chapter of my book that arrived today and cried. It was exactly what I needed to hear. Your gift is amazing and His timing as always is perfect.

  30. What helps me believe the truth on hard days … Is knowing that God sees me through SON glasses. When he looks at me he sees all the perfection of Christ and that is enough.
    There are times when I am not seeing that clearly then I need some chocolate as well. Lol

  31. I am so glad you shared this! My bible study leader said something once that truly resonated with me…she said we need to “run to the Throne before running to the phone.” I am SO guilty of speaking to/calling my husband, mom, and best friend to vent about my frustrations…which in reality only leads to more bitterness. When the truth is that the One who can actually help me is just waiting for me to turn to Him first. It is a struggle to remember in the day-to-day. Thanks for writing this special book…God is truly working through you! 🙂

  32. Thanks for your transparency in sharing your life. To often women pretend they have it all together and those that don’t feel like failures. o looking forward to this study and seeing what God is going to do.

  33. I keep looking for the “Like” button because I agree with so many of the comments! Holley, thank you for sharing so openly and honestly. We need more of that.

  34. Long hard day and reading this is like coming home.

    I’ve been that crazy wild woman. Snapping at my girls – you know the ones – the people I’m supposed to love most. Snapping because sometimes we’re at snapping point and we don’t realize it.

    So this – “They’re not a silver bullet. They’re just a way to win more battles. To get up faster. To become more and more of who God has called us to be.”

    yes and this: “It means instead that you have made a choice to always make your messy, glorious way back to who you really are. Who you are beyond the times when you utterly fail and fall and think no one else in the world could possibly ever do the same.”

    Thank you. I love you. Please pass the chocolate.

  35. Oh Holley, you’re indeed Amazing! You’re writings are so practical and relevant to the day-to-day life. Whenever I feel “un-amazing”, I’ll read inspiring & motivating books or blogs. Joyce Meyer books, Dayspring, In-Courage, Heart-to-Heart Holley Gerth blogs are such channels of blessings 🙂

    Shalom!

  36. God Please Forgive Me.
    God Please Teach Me.
    God Please Lead Me.
    God Please Use Me.
    God Thank You For Loving Me.

    Like I email you and said how much I miss My Mom. I Love her so much – hope Heaven is good to her.
    I lose my job of 23 years any day now due to cutbacks – I am holding on to God with all I got – giving up on Hope seems so easy to do right now.

    • Keep holding on for all you’re worth, sweet Laurie! And as you are holding on, know that God has His arms wrapped around you. He will not abandon you. As you imagine yourself resting in His arms, make a point to notice the droplets of grace being sent your way: the way the sun glints off the first flowers of spring, the brilliance of countless stars in the nighttime sky, the sound of life renewing in the chirping of the birds and the peeping of the frogs. He’s refreshing your soul even as you grieve and heave. Praying you find His peace and comfort in the midst of this season of trials.

  37. When I am losing my perspective and fail, I remember the cross and reflect that God wouldn’t have let His Son go through such horrific pain if He wasn’t wildly crazy about little ole me (and you). I also focus on the gift droplets the Lord continues to sprinkle over me. Why if not because I’m His beloved daughter? Thanks for a wonderful piece. I’m looking forward to reading your book.

  38. When I am feeling down on myself, I have to remember that feeling down on myself often leads to a further spiral in a negative direction. To feel better, I think about the positive in the particular situation, and remind myself that I am loveable (and I am loved) and I am acceptable (and I am accepted).

  39. Holley,

    Thanks for being so open and honest. At times it feels like you’re the only one who ever has “melt downs”. It is refreshing to know others feel that way at times and still come out of it–a winner in Christ!

    Thanks for writing such great posts!

  40. I had a meltdown last week also. I had ‘one of those’ weeks that it seemed everyone and everything was working against me . I finally just vented all my pent up emotions to the Lord. I had been trying to trust but was really trying to do it on my own. When I finally cried out to the Lord, He answered in such a way to prove to me that He is in control!

  41. On the hard days, and there have been quite a few lately as two of my children are battling serious illness, I cling to the fact that I know that my precious Jesus will not let go of me.

    Some days that means the “ugly cry” happens and then I let Jesus wipe the tears away and bring my eyes back to Him. Bringing my focus back to the eternal. There’s a great quote by someone (not sure who) that says, “Do not sacrifice the eternal on the altar of the immediate.” I try to remember that, and when I mess up, I run to seek forgiveness.

  42. What helps me is writing. I have a deep passion for it; poetry, stories, reflecting in my journal, and talking to God. Moments when I need to pick myself up, I write. I’ve even been told I’ve encouraged a few people from stories I’ve written and shared and it is then I see the truth. I feel like I’ve been knocked down one too many times and I so often wonder what it is I am doing wrong, but when the pen is in my hand or the keys are under my fingers I come back to the reality that nothing is wrong with me, I am still amazing. The comments from people help instill that within me. And by chance any day turns out bad, that pen is with me and I know God is listening.

  43. I totally get the total opposite thing. Uggggghhhhhhhhh my insecurity monster came out last night and it was not pretty. Today, maybe an ugly cry and remembering what Joyce Meyer says is what helps me the most. “You’re who and your do are not the same.”. Girlfriend that is such truth it almost pierces my ears, but in a great way!

  44. I believe the truth even when I can’t see it or feel it because the day is dark and hard because I have experienced it and that experience brings me hope and peace. I cling with all my strength, even by my last fingernail sometimes it seems, to the belief that God knows me deeply, knows who I am better than I know myself, and loves me deeply in that knowing. I wrote this recently: “The song of the wind chimes this beautiful morning encouraged me… I can’t see the wind but I can hear the song that tells me there is wind. In the same way I can’t see my Father in heaven but I have experienced His song of love in my life and so even in the dark I know He is there and I have hope. God is so good. “And not only [so], but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope:” Ro. 5:3,4 I need reminded so many times, particularly in a current difficult time for my husband and I. God is so good and patient. So thankful for grace.

  45. For many years there has constantly been a battle going on in my mind. I have chronic depression which led me into a pit of horrible addictions. I have struggled with an eating disorder and self-injury for about six years. However, it has not been a waste. I have learned so much about myself and how helpless I am without God during that time. I am now a much better person and my faith is stronger than ever! I have made a habit of posting encouraging scripture passages and quotes all around me. At work I have them on my desk and at home I have them pasted onto my mirror. The only thing that helps me remember the Truth is God’s word. It isn’t always easy to turn to God (sometimes I’d rather have a little pity party for myself), but it’s always rewarding!

  46. Hi Holley, I just love to follow your blog and I am so inspired by the way you bring the Love of Jesus closer. God is so amazing and I just wanna share what He did in my life. I started a teenage girls’ magazine 2 years ago in South Africa and when He gave me the name of the magazine, He confirmed it with Matt. 25:21 “Well done, good and faithful servant..” in the girls’ lingo: That’s My girl! Exactly as you have said it!! Wow, keep writing and keep being obedient to the voice of the Holy Spirit!
    Blessings!
    Marlene

  47. Exactly what I needed to hear. So grateful that I have people in my life who remind me of truth when I forget, or even tell me things I NEED to hear not just what I want 🙂 your writings Holley have greatly ministered to my heart over these last few months . Blessings on you!

  48. For Julie the new mom don’t feel like you’re alone. All new moms feel that way sometimes. And also if I can give a little wisdom as a mom of two school age boys.. Start out mommy hood asking for help. From others and God. If you start out trying to play the part of it all looks good on the outside, you run the risk of falling apart on the inside eventually. Women today seem to feel like we have to have it all together and not ask for help and be superwoman!! Take a night off with girlfriends and don’t feel guilty. Get a sitter for you and your husband, get a pedicure. Stop and read a book while the baby is sleeping. Ask a girlfriend to come over and help you with laundry. And find christian women near you with kids a bit older who can help you through questions.