About the Author

Author and speaker, Lisa Whittle, is a contemplative leader & bold thinker. She is convinced she is on God's Top 10 List of "most hard cases," but she lives her life with a commitment to grace & truth. Her vices include reality tv, chocolate covered anything, and hot shoes on...

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  1. One of my holes is acceptance, will I be good enough… or will I come up short… this is something I am struggling with and could use this book to help me find my way… thanks

    • A huge hole in my life is another person. The best friend I have ever clicked with. He and I saw the same world, the same life, and we never had to explain anything–we just knew. But then I changed, and he continued to run from reality. The reality that we have purpose in life in Christ, for God, completely saturated in His love. I’m not saying my life isn’t changing for the better, but it isn’t moving forward without part of me missing. That part is left with him, and I don’t know what God wants me to do now. I don’t know how to live in His freeing grace without a friend like my ex.

  2. Self-doubt. I have always succumbed to the idea that no matter how hard I try, I will never be good enough to earn (or simply receive) what I need. I will find a way out this year. I will stop comparing my life to anyone else, and just walk my path.

    • I have two holes. Hard to believe that it has been almost a year since my sister in law went to be with Jesus after a 6 year battle with ovarian cancer. A day short of 3 months later- the day after Mother’s Day- my mother in law went home to be with Jesus. I only write “in law” for clarity but the truth is they were sister and Mom. Their example of love to me is what made me realize I had religon but needed relationship. I am so grateful for 26 years of memories and to be part of their legacy. However, I feel the holes everyday. I miss them and look forward to the reunion. But today the holes are still deep and wide.

  3. The hole in my heart is living so far away from my mom.
    We do talk on the phone, it’s not the same as being there.
    She is in her 80’s and her health is failing her.

  4. My holes are trying to find a balance between what I want to do/ be and what others think that I should be. Doubt is another hole for me. Doubt in myself and what I think I an capable of doing.

  5. I was not a virgin when I married. Not only that, but my husband & I had a son before we were married. My son is now 11 and a huge blessing in my life, but I cannot forget that I compromised who I believed myself to be. God forgave me & blessed me through the bad choices I made so many years ago. And I think I’ve forgiven myself too, until I realize I haven’t, that I still let it define me.

  6. I have a hole left from childhood that I am not good enough and felt rejected. It rears itself in the dumbest .ways .

    • Christiane,

      Praying for healing. May God restore the feeling of “beautiful, loved, accepted, smart” to your hurting heart!

      YSIC

  7. Wow…hard things to think about sometimes, the holes in my life. Like Lisa, one of my holes came from being a preacher’s daughter who suddenly wasn’t (although for me it happened in the middle of my junior year of high school). That is a hole that gradually filled in, though.

    My other hole, the one that I still fall into quite often, is one caused by trying to live up to what I think other people expect of me instead of just focusing on who God wants me to be.

  8. the hole in my heart is not having a husband who is”equally yoked”. i married at a young age out of a rebellious spirit towards my own dad. i married for money and fame , which went away pretty quickly; but not because he shares the same”soul felt”depths as i do( Jesus). this has caused regrets, but praise in the 3 children and 6 grandchildren that our union produced.

  9. My father left when I was very young and my stepfather was not a godly man and things happened to me while in his care. So I have had a father hole. One that left me looking for love and acceptance anywhere and everywhere. I am trying to learn that I have a Father who loves me unconditionally, but I still have moments when I feel like I haven’t been “good enough” to earn His love. It is a process. But I am thankful that He is faithful.

  10. As we face a huge transition for our family I’m struggling with a lot of bitterness for what has been chosen for us, and trying to see God’s hand in it all. Doubt. It’s a big hole right now.

  11. The hole I struggle with is accepting who I am just the way I am and knowing that God created me this way for a reason. I struggled when I was younger looking for that acceptance in the arms of men who were not my husband and in the arms of the most expensive outfit, the best food, outrageous vacations and life in the fast lane. None of it mattered. The hole was still there. Then, 16 years ago my dad passed away suddenly and that hole opened up so big that I finally understood the only thing that could fill it was God’s love, so, I ran back into His arms and allowed Him to fill me up with His grace, mercy and understanding. Once this church girl came back to the Father she craved, the hole began to close and continues to a little more each day.

  12. One of the holes in my life is my health. When I say my health I mean allowing my diseases I deal with daily hold me back to fully serve Christ and others.

  13. My hole is that I set high standards for myself. And when i don’t live up to them I feel like i’m disappointing myself and my family.

  14. a hole, a void, learning to find my new normal after being married 30 years, and in an instant he was gone in an unexpectant way..a simple surgery…then dead. no chance for good byes. Im only in my 50’s and have teens.

    voids for me & my kids, finances,emotions,its been 3 years.

    Gods plan not unfolded yet. still in the desert feeling very alone.

    Many other voids Im sure I have & others with this life & imperfect people around us!

  15. My holes are having parents that are abusive and dysfunctional and trying to figure out how to accept that, even as an adult; another hole is food and body image issues; and then also not having self confidence to start something that I have dreamed about doing my whole life because I think I will fail at it.

    • Ask the Holy Spirit for Wisdom, He will give you the confidence that will help you to succeed. Failure is scarry but not trying and knowing is Fear, there is no fear in Trusting…Do what you dream about. I will be praying for you.

  16. I struggle with a hole of control. It’s hard for me to give God control, because I want to hold on. Too tightly. And when I hold too tightly, mean words and bad attitudes are squeezed right out into the open. I’m praying and hoping to become a softer, kinder version of myself as I give up the details, the plans, and my words and actions to God.

  17. A hole I deal with everyday is not feeling good enough for anyone, that I don’t matter, not important, that my life doesn’t impact anyone for Jesus. I know God’s word says otherwise but I can’t help but feel this way. Sometimes I see where God shows me otherwise.

  18. I think fear is definitely one of my holes. I have these wonderful goals and dreams in my head (and heart!) of writing and speaking one day, but the fear of failing keeps me from actively pursuing what I feel God has called me to do. It’s something I pray about all the time, but that fear….oh how it can keep you down. Enjoyed this post very much!

  19. A hole I deal with is raising my girls to love the Lord. Our oldest is right on track and is quite the leader in that area but our youngest is in middle school and keeps making bad choices. I just want her to want to live for HIM.

    • We can’t make our children live for the Lord, all we can do is raise them according to the way we would like them to live. God say’s that He is in control of our babies…relinquish them to HIM, yes they make bad choices, (don’t we all), but it is the Holy Spirit’s “job” to whoo them to our heavenly father. Love them unconditionally like
      we are loved by God.

  20. The biggest hole in my life is my father. He is still alive and a part of my life, however when I was growing up he was a truck driver and on the road a LOT! When he was home he was sleeping or too busy for me. I am the only daughter with 3 brothers and craved the attention from my Daddy. He spent time with my older brothers but pretty much ignored my younger brother and I. I wanted so bad to be a Daddy’s girl and have his attention. It just never happened. Because of it, I went on to look for attention from other men in my life and made some incredibly poor choices. I am now over 40 and am finally dealing with the hole that was created in my life by the lack of love and acceptance from my father. This post definitely hit home for me! Thank you!

  21. When I lost my husband at an early age. Thankfully my children and family filled that hole for a long time but I was still lonely. I know “God is your husband,” but I wanted someone I could kiss good night. Well God, the gracious God that He is, filled that hole by providing me with a wonderful, loving man and we have been happily married for almost five years. God is good, you have to just keep trusting Him because He is faithful.

  22. One of my holes is definitely rejection. By the grace of God, I’ve allowed Him to fill that hole somewhat…but sometimes things happen that make me realize that I haven’t let Him fill it completely. Oh for the grace to fully surrender to Him and allow Him to make that “hole” WHOLE!

  23. The hole in me is being a country away from my family…I miss them so … ANd to fine acceptance where God placed me…

  24. One of my holes is learning to live and thrive with a less than mutually satisfying marriage without being resentful. I’ve wasted too many years mulling around in regrets and holding too high of expectations. The book looks like a great read!

  25. I really struggle with rejection and fear of failure! I was put into care at 5 and adopted at 7 but I was still abused, mental, emotional abuse. I find making friends so hard as I always think they arnt going to like me and they are going to rejected me. I struggle to do anything new, or take a step into the unknown as I so scared of failing and getting it wrong again. My whole life has been a mass of failures and I have always been reminded of them by parents or the devil!

    • Rachel,

      Please know that God loves you just as you are & so do fellow Sisters in Christ. Praying for healing of past scars.

      Try to find a small church & get into a small group of people. You will find that they will love & accept you as you are–A CHILD OF THE KING!

      YSIC

  26. “Not good enough”. Big hole. Severe rejection from peers as an adolescent has left me struggling with peer relationships even to this day. Always thinking there is something “wrong” with me. I have difficulty trusting that people really do care about me. I had a wonderful mother who met all of my physical needs growing up…but wasn’t very engaging emotionally. My emotional needs were never met and so I am always searching for that.

  27. right now my hole is panic anxiety. It comes and goes and i pray everyday that God will hold me up and guide me along. and He does! thank you for a chance to win this book.

  28. A hole I have in my life is making time for God. However, through constant prayer I’m hoping I can bring Him more into my life.

  29. My whole is definitely the “Am I good enough??” hole. I battle this question almost daily. I know I need the Lord more than ever to take care of this….it is just so hard to tune out the lie and not let it affect me.

  30. I would so love to win one of Lisa’s books!! I am so filled with holes–lack of self-confidence,envy,hate my body,feel like the world is againist me–just alot of things. I pray alot–proably need to more. I just feel like sometimes God has forgotten about me. Sorry–it is a cold rainy day here and I have the blues.. Hope you have a wonderfully blessed day!!! Blessings, Barb

  31. I have many holes, but the biggest one that I am desperately working to let go of is that of control. HE is in charge, not me. HE can handle things and doesn’t need my help. 🙂

  32. This year I lost my father and moved across the ocean from my family, friends and the non-profit job I loved pouring my heart into for 11 years. The second big change I chose, but the hole in my life from all these changes has left me feeling weak in many ways. How did this happen, I was so strong in my roles before these changes!

  33. I have more holes than a block of swiss cheese! I do look to God to fill them, and He is faithful.

  34. The hole in my life came when my husband was healed of Multiple Sclerosis. Don’t think I’m not grateful, I am every day! before his healing, I knew my role as wife and caregiver. Now, the Lord has tossed us former pew warmers into the fast lane of ministry and evangelism. Most of the time I just feel inadequate, which is not a bad thing, because I, of myself am completely inadequate! It’s only with Christ that I can do anything! When it becomes an obstacle is when the enemy whispers to me that I’m a fraud and if these people only knew…

  35. I believe on of my biggest holes has been shame over past mistakes which tends to throw me into a pit of anxiety and depression. The Lord is really working on me in this area. Thank you for sharing your heart.

  36. There is a hole in my marriage right now. What circumstance has created and only God can fill. There is nothing I can do but rely on Him entirely.

  37. Feeling I have nothing to contribute = Big Hole for me.
    It’s the very reason I started blogging a couple months ago! I’m digging myself out of the hole.
    Wonderful giveaway — thank you!

  38. The biggest hole I have was created a long time ago when I spent 18 years in a very legalistic, fundamentalist church that drove me to suicide. I left that church and God 19 years ago. God did not abandon me but pursued me for ten years and got me back. But the hole that was left behind was mistrust, not of God, but of man. It’s hard for me to find a home since then, especially when you ask for help and get no answer, when you are overlooked and forgotten. So for me I really need a big healing on this and I need to find home; a church where I truly belong and feel welcomed.
    http://warrriorforchrist.wordpress.com/

  39. This article couldn’t have come at the most perfect time. My hole is feeling like I have to let go when I don’t want to. My Dad is on hospice and I am unable to help him get better. It’s hard to see someone I have loved for decades become frail in old age and face physical ailments where help seems to be of no avail as if trying to reach into some large black hole, coming up empty – helpful to help and finding myself falling into the dark abyss as well.

  40. My hole is learning to live in authentic relationships. To move past the fake, i’m in it for something mentality and find real, true sisters and brothers in Christ.

  41. This is a hard one for me… In the same year, I lost a baby and a few months later, my mom to cancer. Both were tramatic…the loss of a child, and the loss of a mother, who was also my friend, and in ways my child. She was 82 to my 42, and since the death of my father 20 years previously, she and I had become even closer. I also had a downe syndrome brother, who I just recently lost (7 years after my mom and baby). He had also been like a child of mine. I had taken care of him in many ways since I was very young. So, I guess you could say I have this hole that started 7 years ago, that has become deeper now.

  42. I am surprised that there is any water at all in my bucket. There seem to be so many holes. And when I try to fill it up … it leaks out almost just as fast. I sure could use some insight and plugs for the holes.

    ~grace and peace~
    Linda

  43. I struggle with my confidence in my relationship with my husband. We have been married 6 months and coming from a single parent household and my father being bipolar and coming around every few weeks to spend time with us (having fun mostly, not the responsible kind) I have a hard time knowing how to relate to my husband in a Biblical marriage, one that honors each other and focuses on one another. I saw an independent, stubborn mother and I, too, am fiercely independent, not wanting to let my husband be there for me as I want to take care of everything myself. By doing this I disempower him to be the husband he is meant to be and it’s a constant struggle.

    I wish I could be in relationship with him in a way that honors both our strengths and weaknesses rather than trying to battle for control. I want to be (w)hole.

  44. I am holey.. but, if I had to pick one, I would say doubt. After losing my job, then my health (cancer) and now trying to find my way in a whole new world-to -me, I am constantly insecure and doubting myself and His direction. Afraid of making wrong choices and thereby often making none. Stuck.

  45. My Mom has a mental illness. It seems that it just came on, but as I look back at my childhood & adult years; I think this has been for quite some time. But I still feel the emptiness.

  46. I have holes. Losing my mother six weeks after my second daughter was born, losing the life I had after waking up from grieving to discover we are now into bankruptcy, my oldest daughter leaving the nest for college, youngest daughter entering high school, losing my young body and entering the arthritis stage of life.
    Thanks for the opportunity to win a book to read to help in the healing process of filling holes.

  47. my hole(s)……………… fear………………. not being enough……………. God not being able to use me…………………… unwilling to be used by God…………………. having a wayward adult son…………………. so many 🙁 BUT blessed to have Jesus 🙂

  48. Fear of being judged. Fear of failure. Fear of not being good enough. A drive to do something perfectly or not at all. It looks like a lot, but I think they are all deeply linked.
    –SueBE

  49. My whole is my marriage. Nothing really has happened, me and my husband are just drifting apart! I hate it!

  50. My hole is the lie of being unwanted which stemmed from the abandonment in my childhood and then in my failed marriage. Today, God fills that hole as long as I keep my focus on the truth of being a daughter of the King!

  51. One of my “holes” happened 4 years ago when my healthy 6’3″ weight-lifting hubby had a serious car accident and broke his neck….it was like a bucket of ice on my facade of the fragility of life….life is very fragile yet God is very strong, large and mighty!!!!

  52. One of my holes?…..that even though I know God loves me and I am precious in his eyes, that I still look for that in some of the wrong places….A lesson I thought I was done learning, but apparently not!

  53. The largest hole in my life is the miscarriage I experianced in September and the subsequent loss of my strongest supporter in November.

  54. Holes

    Your topic is impressionable! Oh the holes are many – from dad dying when I was 17, to being in an emotionally abusing and manipulative relationship during my teen years, to the many rejections in my 20s – all could have crippled me but with God’s help and my willingness to heal, they have propelled me to become a strong woman with great faith who loves people and especially her family. THANK YOU!!!

  55. My hole….not being able to give my husband children. I am the woman with the issue of blood in Matthew, Mark,Luke. Though not consistent it brings so much when it happens.
    The emptiness I feel at times with not being a mother is so hard, especially when all my girlfriends have children. Was not til this weekend at a marriage conference that I shared the depth of my heartache with my husband.
    I know and beleive GOD still does miracles and I remain hopeful that I will one day be a mom and my husband will be a dad!! If it means through adoption then we will open our hearts and home to the multitudes. 🙂
    Many blessings,
    Tina

  56. My holes are self doubt and knowing what my talents are to be able to serve him. Also I struggle with how to be a good parent to my kids and a good wife to my husband.

  57. My hole is my marriage. Been reading books and listening to series to build me up, but feel it’s one sided. It’s so hard to hold my tongue sometimes…trying to keep focused for my boys!

  58. I have a few holes…the big one being that I feel socially inadequate in that I am single and have no children and all around me I am the loner

  59. I am pretty sure I have a hole somehow created by my dad leaving when I was 17. The fact that I don’t consciously feel that I have a hole stemming from it makes me think that subconsciously I must, because how could I not?? Identifying what exactly the hole is would be the first step, so I think I could use this book! Thanks for the giveaway!

  60. My husband and I are full time missionaries in Peru, and I am the worship leader. I constantly struggle with the position God has put me in. I want to claim the leadership he has given me and work in my fullest potential.

  61. I have recently become aware of some holes in me and have been in communication with my Lord and savior to fill them in with his sweet goodness and mercy. I am truly appreciating and loving these blogs. /od wants me to be whole and complete and it’s time I want that for myself too!

  62. A hole for me is recognizing my own limits. I have a difficult time saying “no”, which takes my focus off of my real purpose….”God”.

  63. My parents divorce has left me with a large hole because my relationship with my mother ended when she filed for divorce. Our relationship was rough before but then ended. It has left me without a mother and at times when I really need someone.

  64. My hole, like many others who have posted, is not feeling worthy or good enough, though I do know that God loves me despite my flaws. My mother has been an alcholic for my entire life (I’m 32) and she has never had the capacity to really engage with me, even when I was small. To this day, I struggle with feeling accepted and now I struggle to be present for my baby, who is 13 months. I know she deserves way more than I am able to give her (on most days) but I try to make a conscious effort to connect with her daily. I struggle to connect with most people because I have always felt like an outsider looking in on what “normal” is.

  65. The hole in my life is living in fear. I have lost or watched several loved ones suffer from cancer. Now, my 16 year old daughter is battling cancer reovery after receiving a bone marrow transplant. I fear the pain of loosing some one and having a hard time finding the joy in the life now. I need to find hope again!

  66. One of my wholes is being a highly sensitive person…picking up things people didn’t mean any harm by that seemed harmful to me…I found a Facebook page on it and website to get started filling that hole….’cause I’m losing friends to getting mad at them for it.

  67. Sometimes, life leaves a faith-shaped hole. I am a believer but some days I feel like “Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief!!!”

  68. My holes are felling alone eventhough I have a husband, children and 1 grandchild and many friends. I don’t ever feel accepted, I don’t feel that I ever finish anything. I lack self confidence. I shop to fill my holes. It hurts me, knowing, I am hurting my husband and living up to God’s wishes & plans….not a good steward. I am learning in a Bible Study that God is my “event planner” and He is my Father, my protector, unconditionally loves me…….I could go on forever. It is a hard journey and I pray that this will be the year that I “get it”!

    • I appreciate your honesty Ellen. With God’s grace, you will get it! Nothing else does satisfy but Him. This was a hard lesson for me to learn too, and I am still learning it!!!

  69. The biggest hole in my life has been fear of failure and not being good enough or able to win/conquer/overcome. In my marriage this made it hard for me to accept my husband’s love. I could not imagine how he could love me and truly feel I was an integral part of him live because I didn’t believe it myself. I spent my days in insecurity afraid to fail, mess up, hurt, or disappoint him because I was sure I would loose what love or affection he did have for me. Its been liberating to find security in my relationship with Christ, not because I am perfect but because His love and salvation is. This has spilled over into my marriage giving me the freedom to accept my husbands genuine unwavering love for me. It also, and more importantly, has giving me the freedom to live and grow and even help my husband by being honest with him when he has hurt, wounded, or disappointed me without fear it would chase him away. Neither of us are perfect and being honest in our marriage without fear of reprisal has been very liberating!

  70. Addiction to friends. After my best friend died, I felt I couldn’t have just one…so anyone could be my friend, but I wanted to go deep fast, perhaps too fast for growing friendships, strong fertilizer on baby sprouts! God had to be the one my heart cried out to, and then friends have the right place in my heart.

  71. My hole is never having felt like I really fit in anywhere my entire life and still now. Incredibly shy and insecure in my growing up years. Almost 5 years ago my husband “left” during our children’s very informative years. An educated, intelligent man, he is still in our life drowning in a life of substance abuse, and we are in the mire that is left behind from his choices. My daughter has moved out now and my son will be leaving for college in a couple of years. I am surrounded by intact, Godly, happy families with lots of children and don’t know where I belong or in what direction to head. Sometimes I feel like I am at the end of my life – I feel so old and tired and can’t imagine that anything good lies ahead. I know somewhere in my heart that the Lord can use me but right now it makes me exhausted to think about putting forth any effort for anything.

  72. My big ol’ hole is not having children. My husband and I have tried for a few years now and it is hard to understand God’s reasoning, when we both love children, can’t wait to be parents, etc, and when all of of our friends are having children, especially ones who weren’t even trying (his brother and girlfriend). Still struggling to let God fill that hold inside of me.

  73. My biggest hole is from not having my dad around as a child, it has led to other holes. A marriage in need of serious repair and even taking 13+ years of following Jesus for me to even begin fully trust Him. I could really use this book i think and want it plz! 🙂

  74. Identity…purpose…who I am…striving, striving, striving to create a “me” that is acceptable, but failing to fully let God into make me the me He wants me to be…

  75. Love this article today. My hole is all the abuse that I suffered as a child. It still comes back to haunt me today. Even though I have made sure that my children have better lives than I ever did, I still see every loss of control as going back. Life can be hard. However, it is also full of the overcoming of hard things. That is what I need to keep focusing on.

  76. My hole is the struggle to relate to my heavenly Father. As an adoptee who was rejected by my mother’s numerous husbands, I’ve never known the true love of a father until Christ. I know His love in my head and am working to feel His love in my heart. Thank you for sharing with us Lisa! May God richly bless you and continue to fill each last hole within you!

  77. Fear…. Fear of not being good enough, not measuring up…. Looking to ‘humans’ for approval instead of God… really focusing on Jeremiah 17:5-8….

  78. A hole in my life has always been missing the love of a father. I have craved for so long that I would have a father that loves me unconditionally, that takes notice of my accomplishments, and that comforts me in my sorrow. Before I realized who my true Father was, I developed an eating disorder I still struggle with. Through His grace and mercy, I am on the road to recovery and the hole in my heart has been filled with His love.

  79. My husband’s job loss and relocation…took me/us out of my church, community and homeschooling. The move was so drastic {rural to urban}, sudden {August before the school year with an 8th grader and a senior} that I opted for an excellent public school.

    Off they all went to work and school and I was left at the table all alone and out of all my jobs : friend, mother, teacher, church worker. Out of economic necessity, duh, I reentered the workforce but my former self is still in boxes.

    Since then and in the last 5 years, my husband is now consulting which positions him to live out of town during the week…Living Apart Together …so a hole in the marriage too.

    …a hole in soul of the 8th grader …the child left who got left behind as the others went off to college.

    Gladly, Jesus has remained the same.
    w{HOLY}
    : )

  80. I have a ton of ‘holes’, not even sure I can define which is my biggest. maybe not feeling important enough or good enough. I would love to win this book, read it and review it. Thanks for sharing and thanks for the giveaway. I also am a preachers daughter a mk actually, but that has not kept me from failures and making huge holes in my life.

  81. It would have to be the longing to be *enough* just the way I am… not to have to be like someone else, possess their gifts/strengths/habits/attitudes in order to meet the challenges in MY life. I DO want to change and grow and BECOME the me God envisioned when He imagined me into being. I want to dance and sing and laugh in wonder and delight at being what He pictured when He wrote my name on His palm. How? How can I do this?

  82. I would need to do some more thinking and searching, but an obvious void is where my passion used to be. I feel like I’ve been living without passion for a few years now. Without passion, joy is difficult to find as well.

  83. My husband and I are going through some major changes in our
    almost 26 year marriage. His work is taking more and more of his
    time and we are empty nesters!
    Many thanks, Cindi

  84. I struggling with the hole of being fulfilled. I know that only God can truly fill me, but I struggle with the need to feel full, and when I don’t feel Him, I tend to fill up on food! Yikes. Thanks for offering the giveaway!

  85. One of the holes I had to overcome was no longer being “the pastor’s wife” . God led my husband & I into a new ministry, non-traditional & now I was asking “who am I”. He has helped me see who I am in Christ & His purpose – it is an amazing journey!

  86. My biggest hole: REALIZING that I can’t fix the big hurts in the lives of my grown children and grandchildren; RELAXING the the loving care of our great God; RECEIVING His sweet peace.

  87. I am in the process of adopting a child. One of my fears has been that my chosen child will have holes in their heart that I can’t fill. Holes that will hinder our attachment and leave my child with a sense of loneliness. This article has given me new eyes. Now, I understand that it win’t be me that fills in the holes in my child’s broken spirit. But God…all glory to Him who sees my child even now and is preparing my heart for him/ her. There is no hole that God canny fill. Nothing is too hard for him.

  88. For years I examined the cavern in my soul, searching for the ‘yes’ that would make everything alright. Yes, I am valued, yes, I am beautiful, yes, I am ….and the list goes on. I mostly wanted a ‘yes’ from just one person on this earth, but what if it never came? What if the answer would always be ‘no’? That was the turning point- all of the energy and mis-investment to please and receive affirmation was redirected into those who said ‘Yes! What are you talking about? Of course I love you, of course you are SO valuable…’ and Jesus who said, ‘Yes, so much so, that I endured the greatest pain for you.’ Remarkably, when the direction was rightly pointed, the affirmation I was looking for also came- I learned he simply never learned how to say ‘Yes’ but always wanted to.

  89. I struggle with knowing that God loves me for me and not for what I have went to school for or how good of a parent I was and continue to be. I allow the devil to tell me lies of how I will never be good enough to get to heaven. I really have to pray and ask God to give me strength to just be who He wants me to be and that I’ll follow His will and not my own.

  90. The “hole” I’m dealing with right now is my husband leaving me after 26 yrs of marriage, for a younger woman. I have suffered and so have our kids. He has lost his entire family. I have had to relocate from one state to another because I could no longer deal with depression, stress and anxiety. I now have to start my life from scratch, rebuilding a life that has been crushed. God has been greta and He has walked with me through all the good and bad days. I will persevere to come up again from hitting rock bottom, for my sake and that of my kids.

    • Melissa, I am so very sorry you are dealing with such major hurt that certainly leaves big holes in your heart. I said a prayer for you. I will pray that your “Holes” will be filled in such a way that you know your God is at work!

  91. Loss. We have lost three children, my father and my best friend…. I KNOW my Lord loves me, but the fear of more loss is a frequent ‘hole’ that I try to fill, or try to numb. I feel His peace that passes understanding more than ever, now, as I’ve made a decision to pray to take captive every thought/feeling of fear of loss and replace it with praise and trust in my Father.

  92. The day I figured out that my mom couldn’t save herself, much less me. I learned that the only person I could trust to take care of me was myself, and that hardening at the tender age of nine has effected every relationship and every facet of my life since. It’s good and bad, because it’s made me who I am. So I’m learning to embrace the good and work on the bad one day at a time.

  93. My hole is trying bitterness about having to work outside the home while my husband (while looking for a job) gets to stay home with our kids. Bitterness that although I’ve become closer to God recently, that my husband doesn’t like the way I now relate the Lord to everything in my life. I try not to be bitter and resentful, but some days the devil just gets the better of me.

  94. My hole is the pain in my past over my weight. I have been working on releasing it to the Lord and finding true healing. I agree with someone above who said, “I have a hole left from childhood that I am not good enough and felt rejected.” I will conquer and prevail, seeing the beautiful gold being refined in the fire of the Lord!

  95. My hole is that I spend so much time filling everyone else’s hole that there doesn’t seem to be enought time for myself and worse yet no energy left. I need to fill myself first so I am more useful and effective for others.

  96. I think my biggest hole that I struggle with is self worth. Questioning what God has for me in this life, and always feeling like I fall short of all things.

  97. Definitely insecurity. Just when I think I’m stronger and feeling rather courageous, it rears its ugly head! Just started reading A Confident Heart by Renee Swope. Like Renee, I want to “choose to dwell in the assurance of Whose I am and who I am in Him” so that I too can have a confident heart!

  98. I recognize that I have many “holes” that I have yet to accept. I’ve been working on it, but even still they have caused me to isolate myself from people I’ve loved and with that I feel more loss. There are many positives in my life too, but these feelings often affect me.

  99. The sadness of many people among my family and friends dying too young. Then in 02 my youngest son,Joseph suicided.There is almost ten years,a decade,later a huge hole in my heart. I have the part of my heart that is full of love for God,my Children,Grandchildren and G.Grandchild expected in June. There is a hole where the “what could have been’s live.”I miss Joe everyday.There is the hole of shame that society still attaches to suicide. It hurts the survivors of the suicide,and causes holes in the fabric of our very lives. The holes that true friends who listen try to fill.The holes that are raw when someone comes up to us in a store and ask”How’s Joe?” because they really haven’t heard. The hole of seeing Joe’s friends moving on with their lives,having wives and husbands,children. The hole when Joe’s pets outlived him.We live and love with “Holes”.

  100. One of my holes if feeling less than. Less than I used to be, less than I could be, less than I want to be, less than others, less than God wants me to be. Just <

  101. Confidence is the hole I deal with mostly. I often wonder how myself, a person quite lacking in confidence could have come from such a big extended family of EXTREMEMLY confident and out-spoken people. I have always paled in comparison, and hung in the back drop.

  102. One of the biggest holes I have always struggled with is the lack of acceptance/ approval from my mother. It has always colored my view of myself and has spilled over into many other areas of my life.

  103. For me, it’s about choosing to be better – not bitter. I recently had to make that choice, then commit myself all-out to pursue healing. God brought it in whole – not in part. I am so thankful!

  104. The rape I experienced as a freshman in college. I felt ugly as a child growing up in the shadow of someone that society deemed beautiful. I wanted loved and I married someone that was not saved thinking I could make it work. Of course that didn’t work. What I’m finding is that God is teaching me what love is and isn’t. While the journey isn’t what I wouldn’t want, I am learning it was best. I do know that He loves me unconditionally

  105. My biggest “hole” right now is this insurmountable feeling of anger and impatience. Not sure who its directed at/to, but mostly to myself and where I’m currently at in life. Not where I want to be, but in a better situation that most…would love to win this book, I sure could use the guidance and inspiration. Thanks!

  106. The holes in my heart are having to leave the pastorate we were in due to my health. I have lost 6 siblings due to Alzheimer’s disease or some form of dementia. I have one living that has been diagnosed with AD. I was a Nurse for 30 years and very busy in ministry with my husband. I chose to work with AD people since at that time I had several in the Nursing Home, and I wanted to make sure the AD people had an advocate when I was there. I have now been diagnosed with AD. It is terrible to know that I am forgetting easily, and that I am not as “bright” as I used to be. Yes, I need to be ministered with the HOLES I am experiencing . I can still read, and may read it twice just to “GET IT.” God does minister to me in many ways. Thank you for this opportunity to share some of my holes. Dorothy Greenwood

  107. My life has been like swiss cheese, but now that God in my life the holes don’t seem so big. Don’t get me wrong I have holes just not as many and as big! The biggest one I am dealing with now is acceptance! Never feel good enough!

  108. The holes in my heart are having to leave the pastorate due to my health. I came close to death with many bleeding ulcers. I have also lost 6 siblings due to Alzheimer’s disease or some form of dementia in the past 7 years. The most recent death was my sister Nancy on December the 11th.I have one living that has been diagnosed with AD. I was a Nurse for 30 years and very busy in ministry with my husband. I chose to work with AD people since at that time I had several in the Nursing Home, and I wanted to make sure the AD people had an advocate when I was there. I have now been diagnosed with AD. It is terrible to know that I am forgetting easily, and that I am not as “bright” as I used to be. Yes, I need to be ministered with the HOLES I am experiencing . I can still read, and may read it twice just to “GET IT.” God does minister to me in many ways. I have a husband and two grown children that keep an eye on me…and they love me. Thank you for this opportunity to share some of my holes. Dorothy Greenwood

  109. One of the biggest holes is still being alone. I believe God has the right man for me, but sometimes, it’s difficult for me to stay patient after so many years. I thought that after losing a lot of weight and getting healthy, it would “cure” my single “problem.” Alas, that had and has nothing to do with it. I trust God, but it can be very hard at times when you just want to feel and be loved by someone in that way only a husband can give you. When you haven’t dated either, it’s another thing, another rough part of life. But, I do my best each day to pray to God and know that when He feels it’s right, my future husband will enter my life.

  110. The holes in my heart are having to leave the pastorate due to my health. I came close to death with many bleeding ulcers. I have also lost 6 siblings due to Alzheimer’s disease or some form of dementia in the past 7 years. The most recent death was my sister Nancy on December the 11th.I have one living that has been diagnosed with AD. I was a Nurse for 30 years and very busy in ministry with my husband. I chose to work with AD people since at that time I had several in the Nursing Home, and I wanted to make sure the AD people had an advocate when I was there. I have now been diagnosed with AD. It is terrible to know that I am forgetting easily, and that I am not as “bright” as I used to be. Yes, I need to be ministered with the HOLES I am experiencing . I can still read, and may read it twice just to “GET IT.” God does minister to me in many ways. I have a husband and two grown children that keep an eye on me…and they love me. Thank you for this opportunity to share some of my holes. Just putting into writing has helped. Dorothy Greenwood

  111. Even though what I’ve prayed and asked for recently has been “less” or “different” than what I have (not “more”), my hole right now is learning to be content with what I have.

  112. My hole is recovering from cancer, moving forward with my life and having the confidence to serve HIM more boldly now. I want nothing more than to bring Jesus honor and glory as I journey through the rest of my life but I am scared and I lack self confidence to do the things I think he is calling me to do….Please pray that I will be bold and strong enough to not deny Him what He wants me to do….

  113. One of my biggest holes is being “critical.” I’m reaching for joy and to walk in boldness with Christ, but with those I love the most, I keep falling in those pits of criticism. Hate it!

  114. I lost my Mom in a car accident in 1987. In 1988, I married a man of whom she would not have approved. He was verbally and emotionally abusive and we separated in 2000. He became physically abusive at that point. Our divorce was final in 2002. I have had a wreck myself, cancer, 11 surgeries, and job changes and a major move. I have gained weight because I filled my hole with chocolate and yummies. Now I am filling my hole with Jesus. I have already lost 4lbs just eating right. This is going to be a good year.

  115. One of my holes is my self-image. I have always struggled with this since I was a little girl, which brings me to an even bigger hole which is continually worrying about how I can raise my little girl so she doesn’t struggle with self-image the way I always have.

  116. I live more than 3,000 miles away from any of my immediate family in another country. I have missed out as seeing my grandchildren grow these past 10 years and I wonder how relevant my existance really is to them.

  117. My mom died 7 years ago. I feel that hole everyday…sometimes its a quick hit of loneliness or ache… sometimes its a giant cavern filled with endless tears

  118. I was a fun youth pastor’s wife… I loved the teens coming over to our house and hanging out all the time. Then I had a baby. and another. ministry changed and I “wasn’t” sure who I was anymore.

  119. Fear of not being enough, doing enough – although I KNOW that JESUS is ENOUGH. I still struggle that I am missing the mark.

  120. My whole would be a lack of closure. When life or people give you the raw end of the deal and there is no explanation or reason for it. When we are left with unanswered questions.

  121. My holes almost always involve my family and the fact that none of them have a relationship with Jesus. Every other hole is just a splinter from that one.

  122. Self doubt – and my hole of self doubt is linked from long ago conception by many harmful and hurtful events, circumstances, issues, etc. Some days, it seems that there are a series of holes that are strategically placed where I’ll be most likely to fall in, trip up or even cave in completely. Not as many holes and not as many days as there used to be {thank you Lord ♥}, but still plenty enough to keep me paralyzed at times. I’ve been drawn to your book from the first time I read about it and one thing you said in this post deeply resonates with me. “In the discovery of our voids, our life can begin to change. Oftentimes, it begins with our own soul-searching” – I don’t know where it would have begun other than my own soul-searching. Getting past any of my holes of self doubt has required my willingness to understand my story – see it, relive parts of it at times, uproot, tear down, and hardest of all – surrender authorship and allow God to have control of where the story goes and how the story ends. You’re so right.on.the.mark when you say “choosing the thing that will make our soul well is a now decision.” I have discovered by both success, and trial and error that it’s a consistent and persistent ‘yes’, regardless of how I feel. As a less than graceful dodger of my holes, I sure am grateful for His mercy and grace, and thankful for His rock solid interposition and tenacity.

  123. My hole is not necessarily losing my mom, but the way we lost her. She had just been put under pallative care, so we were preparing our hearts for life without her. Days thereafter, due to very sudden circumstances, we were faced with the decision of starting the morphine drip which would be at high dosage right away. We knew our time with her before the drip started would be our very last with her in this world. I can replay, if I allow myself, a thousand different ways I should have used that time, but I try not to “should” on myself. She died 13 days later.

  124. One of my holes I see myself filling with food. The problem is that I don’t know what the hole is from. I just see the result of a hole.

  125. my hole is the one made when my Father died when I was 8 yrs old-I still miss him-42 yrs later.

  126. Right now the hole in my heart is husband-shaped. We are divorcing and while I honestly believe we are making the right decision, I miss him everyday and the persons we both used to be.

  127. Holes that have much to do with the loss of my mother while a child, no immediate family in this country and a divorce that was right but still painful nonetheless

  128. Who I am. My identity and self-worth have been closely tied to my mother, who was also my best friend. She died 11 months ago from breast cancer. I have realized just how little I invest in other people and the very few friendships I have. I don’t know who I am without my mom.

  129. to really love, rest in, and trust what God says about me and in general. His presence and delight in me

  130. I WAS BUSY READING OTHERS POSTS, BUT MY WHOLE (HOLE) IS A DAILY STRUGGLE WITH MYSELF, RIGHT NOW I CAN’T WORK, SO INSTEAD OF DOING THE THINGS I CAN DO TO KEEP BUSY, I DON’T DO ANYTHING BUT WASTE TIME. BUT THIS WEEK I STARTED CROCHETING THE PURSES THAT I WANTED TO MAKE AND THEIR DONE. PROCRASTINATION IS MY HOLE.

  131. My heart needed this book before it was ever written. One of the holes I struggle with is the hole left in me when I left full-time ministry (even though I believe the time was right to leave). I’m in a strange limbo place and aware something is missing in that regard, just trying to find purpose without the pressure I put on myself to earn the grace that cannot be earned. Thanks for the giveaway.

  132. A big hole in my life occurred at the time of my divorce. I struggled to define myself as a single Mom and sole support of the household. Now that I am re-married, I find myself with time to work through my feelings of lack of self-worth to find unconditional love.

  133. One of my holes is dealing with life going from being a military brat and always knowing that we would move to a new place and get a fresh start. Now a reservists spouse where we don’t have to move unless we want to, I find it hard to know what to do in everyday life, fighting depression and finding what God’s purpose is in my life besides moving somewhere new. Would love to read the book!

  134. I am swiss cheese….the holes…
    1. I don’t have a mommy anymore…HUGE HOLE…I try to get everyone around me to fill it. Not working well.
    2. I am an attention seeking junkie
    3. I am obsessed with how many times I work out in a week
    holes…

  135. Impatience is a big hole for me! I need God’s grace to constantly dig out of my impatientness and strive for an attitude filled with patience.

  136. I definitely need to work more on more generosity and have of a giving spirit as I tend to find myself in a hole of selfishness sometimes.

  137. The longing for children is a big hole for me. I’ve been many places and had opportunities to do things I never knew existed, and I am thankful for these gifts from God. Still, I so long for children of my own.

  138. Thanks for the post & opportunity. A hole for me is feeling that I never fit in or am worthy of relationships. I would love to move beyond this.

  139. One of my holes – 5 miscarriages.
    Sometimes I feel like a colander: more holes than bowl! : ) And if I let myself look at even one of them too long, like a black hole, they start to pull me in. Then I’m quickly loosing faith and feeding fear. So this year I’m trying to focus on Jesus. I’m asking Him to heal me and trusting that He can heal those holes up or He can use me wholly unto His glory just as I am. Holes and all.
    Ladies – my prayers for all of your continued healing tonight!
    In Him,
    pk

  140. Many holes in me. Loss of husband. Abuse from too many directions and no peace to grieve as dealing with battles since husband went home to the Lord. Hope that this brings about some healing sooner. thanks. D

  141. One of my holes is that I think I am afraid to love. For fear of rejection. For fear of not receiving love back. ‘Love’ is my word for 2012…I am learning and would love to read this book to learn more.

  142. Just today, my Facebook status ended, “There is a hole in our family and a hole in my heart.” It is my parent’s 52nd wedding anniversary. Mama became sick just afer we celebrated their 50th and died of complications after a hysterectomy (they got the cancer but something went wrong) after 3 months in the hospital at just 69. Actually, my Facebook status was supposed to say “hoLe in my heart,” but the typo said “hoPe in my heart.” I followed up that while hope was probably better and maybe more expected, unfortunately the hope kept falling through the hole. Yeah, there’s a hole.

  143. My biggest hole in my life is not having a relationship with my oldest 2 daughters. Because of my past strugglle with my heroin & “crack” cocaine addiction & I been clean since March 2008 & God has blessed me in a mighty way meaning I am married, I’m a mother of 8 children (7 girls & 1 boy) & out of all 8 my youngest is in my custody & I have a relationship with my son (12) & one of my other daughters (11). This is my last semester in college (2 year community college) I’ll be graduating with my Associates in General Science & then I’ll be attending a R.N. Program. However, I’m staying with my mother-in-law & my 12 & 11 year old children & its tryin but I’m holding on. This is very hard for me & my husband, but I’m praying that God will move us on February 1st or the 5th…….please lift me up in your prayers. My children push me daily to not give up cause sometimes I get discouraged but I will continue to press towards my goal

  144. My hole…growing up constantly moving with a dysfunctional family, I never learned how to form friendships. I have a wonderful husband, but he also grew up moving constantly with his own dysfunctional family and he feels no need for friendships. I work, take care of my family…and that is it…that is all there ever has been, and I have no idea how to change it.

  145. my hole is that i want my relationship with my adopted 7 year old boy to be made whole. he has a twin sister, and she lets mommy love her. he missed the ties that her birth mommy gave to the chosen twin. i want both of my twins. i am a twin, and i refuse to not be bonded, wholly, completely with one of my kids. i fight for it, i pray for it, and i trust the Lord’s healing work in his little life, and heart.

  146. Interesting. This caught my attention, as I was a pastor’s daughter as well. But through a chain of events, I was left with the hole, realizing that my upbringing wasn’t as perfect as I thought it was. Even though it was painful watching that idol fall, it’s made me worship my One true God and not the God of a “perfect” life or parent…. I look forward to reading the book for more insight!

  147. I have a hole concerning my immediate family
    and being upfront and authentic with my faith….
    it is fear of being ridiculed or invalidated.
    I am ready to do away with this fear and be authentic.

  148. I have fallen into a very dark hole of financial instability. Overspending, and then hiding the facts from my husband. My marriage is crumbling, and I quite honestly do not know if I will ever be able to climb out of this hole of my own making.

  149. My hole that is becoming whole is my health. I have an incurable, crippling problem that affects not only my physical body but my mental attitude. God has used this disease in many ways and I have learned to adapt and adjust and trust God and let go of my inabililties. I keep opening the hole though with my fears and feelings of inadaquacies. I have to learn to fill that with Jesus not me.

  150. One of my holes is living in the present-I tend to worry too much about yesterday or what is to come.

  151. Self doubt stemming from a lack of a sense of belonging. I grew up in the Catholic Church, was baptized and confirmed. Whatever that means. But then we moved away from my family, and I grew up as a latch-key kid, with a single mother who worked full time and was otherwise emotionally unavailable. I was lost and left to fend for myself, and that I did, quite well. So well in fact that my independence became the chasm that kept me from building many long term relationships. My earthly father was gone, and I felt abandoned by all, including my Heavenly Father. Its only been this year, my 41st, that I have found the need to seek God out as I believe the absence of Him in my life is the root cause of all my HOLES.

  152. One of my holes is dwelling on the past. I spend so much time thinking about past hurts that I have a hard time focusing on the good things in my life, as well as all of the potential that the future holds. I have been struggling with anxiety problems for years, and I know that all of the looking back I do only makes the situation worse.

  153. Sometimes I come up for air but mostly live in a hole of believing that God is displeased with me. I know His truth-statements about who I am in Christ, yet succumb too soon to the quicksand of living in the shadow of quiet despair. Selfish decisions made in the past that affected my husband’s future and fulfillment haunt me and inhabit the hole. It can be suffocating when I sink too deeply. My Father rescues me in affirming and tender ways, but the hole is always there, waiting.

  154. We are living in a financial hole after my husband losing his job 2 years ago, using all our savings to live on, going in debt just to eat, and then when my husband go a “new” job, he is making less than half what he used to and we are struggling to pay bills. We have no medical insurance, and prescriptions are ridiculous. sigh…

  155. One of my holes is acceptance, and another is growing up without a father or a trustworthy father figure….I have many holes. But I am learning more and more about the answer to my holes.

  156. Seeking acceptance from others , perfectionism (facade) and my feelings of am I enough? I am growing in some areas, but have yet to learn God is the only one who can fill the hole(s) in my life. He is teaching me…yet I am a slow learner.

  157. My biggest hole is losing two brothers when I was aged 8 and 13 and then losing my son 4 years ago to an incurable lung disease at 13 days old. I find it hard to understand why I have had so much loss in my 34 years of life.

  158. My biggest, but certainly far from only, hole right now is from when my husband left me and our two small kids just over a year ago. I am just so burned out in most ways right now, including my health. I’m realizing in all sorts of new ways how I had turned from believing – and allowing – the Lord to provide, and trying to do it all just by constantly trying harder. I’m all tried out.

  159. The holes that I struggle with most would have to be doubt (in myself and others) and trusting in God, and his plan for me. I know His way is the blessed way, and how it is meant to be, but I still struggle with wanting my way, and thinking that way is best.

  160. My hole is family. I long for relationships with my siblings and yet I have come to accept that it will never be short of an act of God.

  161. My hole came when my parents ended our relationship. 42 years of living to please them and keep them happy ended the moment my heavenly Father moved me to the place of saying “No more will I live for you. No more will you be my Gods, but only my Father in heaven.” It was at once both liberating and terrifying. Who was I outside of their control and input? Instead of religion, I’m realizing a relationship with my Lord that I never knew before. He loves me enough to be moving me into the life of abundance that He has for me…..outside of their controlling influence. My parents and I talk occasionally, and He’s brought me to the place of forgiveness, but there is still a void that He is continuing to fill for me because my former relationship with them can never be again. It was so all-consuming in my life, I’m having to learn what my life looks like while I replace that dysfunctional relationship with a healthy relationship with my Lord. Yes, I have a hole, but it shaped exactly for Jesus and He’s filling it, slowly but surely. Matt 10:37-39 “Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me,…….Who finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” God has been very good to me!

  162. I’d definitely say my hole is doubt. So many times I find myself second guessing myself and doubting God. Did I make the right move? Should I move or should I stay? Is this what God wanted me to do? Is this move a will of the Father? These are the self doubts. Then I struggle with the unanswered prayers. Will God answer this prayer? I’ve been seeking His face and His hands on this situation for such a long time? Is there sin in my life preventing Him from answering my prayers? Sigh… I’ve also been so hurt in the past that I struggled with the motives of people I don’t know very well. Is he or she genuine? What do they really want. It can be overwhelming at times, to say the least.

  163. I guess my hole, well one of them, is feeling like I’m never good enough. Measuring myself by the world’s standards. Not seeing how Christ see’s me… a prefect creation who he loves and adores so much. He is helping me to feel “enough” more and more each day. He is helping me to trust him, with all things, little and big. It is hard sometimes but He is faithful and true… and patient. I am so blessed.

  164. All my life I heard of God’s goodness and grace…but really, as I face some of the darkest years of my life, I feel myself begin to question the very core of all those beliefs. Why does it seem like in this ‘dark forever’ that God seems so…silent and invisible and uncaring?
    I crave that peace of knowing that I know…that I know GOD in a very intimate way!

  165. My hole is feeling unworthy, and I try to cover that by overcommitting and taking on too much so people will like and approve of me.

  166. A hole in my life – trying to seek wholeness more in my own strength than in God’s strength. I am seeking to surrender my need to try and figure it all out and instead lay it all at the feet of Jesus and ask Him to show me in His timing and in His way. Some days are much easier to do this than others especially in the waiting.

  167. The hole of anger when “the world doesn’t play nice.” Sometimes that means workplace issues, sometimes that means family, sometimes it means other relationships. I need to feel true peace and joy regardless of what else happens, instead of falling into old practice patterns that are too comfortable, too worn, and need to go…

  168. My hole is believeing that when I gave my life to Christ at such a young age (7) I have never been good enough to deserve all He is and therefore I doubt my salvaion and don’t trust Him enough with my all.

  169. This girl is feeling like a slice of swiss cheese right about now. I’m thinking about all the holes…But I suppose that struggle to feel GOOD ENOUGH is what I always battle. Coming from a background where I never was…sometimes it’s hard to internalize that I am a daughter of the King and He loves me. HE LOVES ME.

    That’s more than a little bit of spackle.

  170. My personal hole comes from being abused as a child. The pain of it still pops up in so many ways and I can usually only understand in retrospect that my actions (or reactions) came from that source, instead of from the Lord who has healed me.

  171. I always wanted just to be a wife and mom. Yet, here I am, 38 years old, still single. This hole is a constant struggle to wait on God’s timing, to be content where I am, to know that what HE has for me is more than I can ask or imagine.

  172. My hole is based on constantly comparing my life to others…Will he ever ask me to marry him? Will we have children? It seems like so many of my friends are “ahead” of me and I know I shouldn’t feel that way. I should feel like I am loved, therefore there is no hole, right?

  173. Holes of shame are the biggest holes to fill for me.Not walking away from a destructive home life that not only shredded me,but the living example of its after effects on my child,well now young adult.I cannot forgive myself for what I allowed her to endure for years.You can let God fill your own waste places,but seeing the holes in those you love and knowing you were one of the master diggers of them is a void of pain that is wretching.

  174. I know exactly where the hole comes from in my life. I was the 1st born daughter in 1966 to Don and Mary. My determination on the fact that my parents were not totally ready for me was the fact that my mom would hide in her f/t job ALL the time and there was no nuturing time for me. I don’t recall the extra things like homemade breakfast before school or after school cookies by her. As for my father, I never felt like a princess in any shape or form. It would seem they were very unhappy having to raise a family.

    But God and His holy spirit promised to never leave or forsake me at 12 yrs. of age, so I found comfort in knowing that God was always there for me. I also relied on food to make me happy but know today it is not the answer. I am 45 and adore my parents because God gave me them as a gift.

    I have two beautiful daughters, 21 and 24 and wonderful son in law and grandchild on the way this summer and try to do everything possible to make sure they know I love them and how important they are to me.

  175. Relationships gone sour, not having the strength or the know how to come to any reconciliation. Slowly, very slowly learning to allow God to be the healer.

  176. The hole I face daily is the need to fill every moment with valuable actions….rather than resting in the finished work of my savior…entering His rest brings true peace not what I do….but who I am in Him alone.

  177. A definite hole in my life is the ability to stop living in the past and to be thankful for each new day the Lord has given us.

  178. PERFECTIONISM! I need to surrender to God and let go, but I always cling to what I think is the best way and don’t let go completely.

  179. One of those holes is not knowing what God wants for my future. I’m married, but trying to finish college and sometimes I don’t feel like I know what my purpose is. It’s so hard to rest in contentment!

  180. One of the holes I struggle with is in the area of my eating habits. I often turn to food to soothe stressed nerves or fill emotional voids. God alone is my refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble.

  181. My hole is that of forgiveness. I can forget, but do I really forgive all the hurts enough to find true freedom and joy in Christ alone? Still learning this one!

  182. I struggle with peace. In every aspect of my life I feel like there is something that is just not right. I longed for a family of my own….got married….had difficulty getting pregnant & now I feel like I’m not a good enough mom nor good enough wife. I need peace & contentment.

  183. My biggest hole? Me. If I could just FORGET myself and let Jesus fully live in and through me…no more holes! Or would there be? Doesn’t there have to be holes so that we can learn that He can fill them? And so that we can leak His glory out to others with holes? Anyway, how can we possibly reflect His perfection off of/through our imperfections? So many questions…

  184. One of the holes I struggle with is needing to feel like I am in control instead of surrendering and trusting God each day.

  185. Wow, I can so relate. My dad has been a pastor my whole life and yes, so many good memories when I was little *until* we were forced out of our church. Painful. Today, I’m 30 years old and my marriage is falling apart, has fallen apart. My husband has no intention of seeking counseling (although he said he would go in the past but now refuses to go). He says his “buddies” are telling him we might split up this year. A long cry from that safe, perfect haven I had as a little girl. But a bit more realistic as well. And the sympathy I have for others now (that I sadly rarely had before). I see God using this “hole” in my life but it doesn’t come without serious pain and hurt either.

  186. One of the holes that I struggle with in my life is the fear of uncertainty and control, instead of blinding walking in God’s plan for my life, and being a college student there is tons of uncertainty in my life and even more things that I have no control over!

  187. i am struggling spiritually i want to grow more in the Lord.I’m serving Him in unreached place . even i saw a wonderful miracles in my life and many thing He does but still i felt myself that I am not in up in growing on Him.

  188. Holes, I got a few from looking over and pondering this. Your blog amazes me how very close to me you hit on. Does that make sense ? oh. holes, where you see there is the friendship hole, which is due to the faith hole and continues into the many marriages hole, which leads to the unworthy me hole. etc… this is a book I really need to read!

  189. My holes are not having ‘significance’. We emigrated from the UK to Australia and I left everything – family, work, friends, church roles…to become a housewife for our 4 children. (my son was diagnosed with autism last year also and the hole if i am going to be a good advocate of doing right for him).

  190. My “hole” is hinged on control. When things smoothly unfold the way I plan, I am happy; but when a plan goes awry, I can quickly become stressed. BUT I know God is in control, and it is a daily choice. and struggle sometimes, to give Him the reigns.

  191. I have social anxiety and even though my best friend assures me that it is not a sin to shape my life around anxiety and my counselor tells me it doesn’t make me stupid to not know how to make a simple phone call or say hi to a friend, it doesn’t change the way I see myself as not good enough and try to fill the whole by appearing to be as good as I possibly can in every other area and try to hide how hard things are for me socially…it backfires though when I overestimate a little in what I can endure and what was supposed to be an extremely challenging situation begins to near the impossible…

  192. The (w)hole in my life is fear of acceptance. But something different is happening in my life right now as I go through late menopause. I am getting stronger because I know WHO lives in me.

  193. There are three holes in my life at the moment. The first is trying to understand why my husband is the way he is. When will he decide on what he wants to be when he grows up and finally commit to helping support our family. I’m concerned that this is leaving a poor impression on my son. It nags away at my heart and soul. I wake in the night worrying. And I pray for guidance and patience. Second, I have self-doubt , mostly when it coms to my career as a teacher. Will I ever be good enough? Finally, I miss my grandmother horribly. She passed four years ago.

  194. Almost turning twenty, I’ve come to realize that the promises of perfection that I yearned to fulfill and be in my relationships with God, others, and self would all be shattered as the years went by as I allowed myself to be exposed to sexual sin, leaving a hole in my heart, aching for something to fix the reality I’m in, to help me move forward and stay positive in the Lord. This hole of feeling like damaged goods, not good enough for anyone, and losing the privilege of being a true model of a Christian are all interconnected. However, reading this article, and the other one, “Not Perfect, But Well” put things into perspective at a critical time for me, and I hope for the many others who’ve read them too. Thank you. =D

  195. I have a hole. Well several, really. the one that comes to mind, though, is this. My friend left her husband and left me too. She hasn’t called me in over a year now. I am almost over the hurt and grieving but am not over the loss.

  196. The hole i have is that i sometimes feel that i am just not good enough to do something. Because of this, i may set certain goals, but often don’t follow through on them.

  197. One of the holes I struggle with is being single, and trusting in God’s path and perfect timing. Another is insecurity – living up to my own, sometimes too high, expectations.

  198. Hole? My hole has eroded to a cavern and I have lost myself in it. The day you posted this was a day I hit bottom and was faced with two paths… change or die. My physical body shut down and refused to cope one more minute with an eating disorder that I allowed. Me, the type A control freak wife, mom and nurse who seems to juggle it all was not long for this world without help. Humbled and totally full of fear, I find myself surrounded by those who I have been pushing away as I slid down my slippery slope. Now what? Honestly it’s one minute at a time right now and my thoughts are yet to become clear. I have much to live for and Papa God and I have a bunch to talk about. All I know is I am desperate to be whole and walk in the destiny I was created for once again.

  199. wow…. i never really thought of that concept that holes are gateways to let God in. I’d say that the holes in my life is my lack of discipline, which has stemmed to oftentimes a dry prayer life, poor organization, exercising, and eating habits, poor timeliness, and poor distribution of my time as far as socializing, schooling, work, rest, and God time go. even writing this comment is helping me be honest with myself and with what I know the Lord wants to enter into and repair.

  200. One of the holes in my life is feeling like i always have to be strong…that I cant show people i am vulnerable and fearful to show any bit of weakness.

  201. Just a day ago, my boyfriend decided to have a cool-off period in our Christian relationship of almost three years. And I would like to emphasize that it was a Christian relationship because we committed ourselves to honor God in our relationship and by God’s grace, have kept ourselves pure. Right now, I do not know why this is happening and I still could not grasp the “sudden blow” of what happened.

    But one thing I know is that we have a God who knows what’s best and in Him I can trust my all in all. I am hurting but slowly, by the Spirit of Jesus, He has shown me my mistakes especially in the sins of my dangerous mouth and of my deceitful heart. And so, I look forward to the end of this path that He has lovingly prepared for me.

  202. I think my hole changes depending on the day and circumstances, but currently my hole is not feeling equipped to teach Sunday School. It may seem small, but it has made my Sundays stressful and not worshipful at all.

  203. One hole in my life is feeling deep pain for what my sister is going through.
    I have weak strength in my health and unable to be all that I feel God wants me to be.
    I am learning to accept my weakness, but I want to take joy in the small things of life.