About the Author

Emily P. Freeman is a writer who creates space for souls to breathe. She is the author of four books, including her most recent release, Simply Tuesday: Small-Moment Living in a Fast-Moving World. She and her husband live in North Carolina with their twin daughters and twinless son.

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Depends on how you define good. I’m a sinner so I’m really not good. I try to be good to the best of my ability but I fall short quite often.

  2. I may be a good girl in someone else’s eyes but to me, nope… I’m never quite good enough. After all these years of believing this I am finally trying to unlearn such bunk.

  3. It’s an odd thing but in junior high I was trying so hard to please God and all the authority in my life. One day I was readin a little tract and in it was Ephesins 2:8,9. The only part I saw and heard vividly in my heart was for by grace. God spoke and said I am gracious and you can relax. I had never felt anything so beautiful. I wish I had learned it. But He still has to tell me He’s gracious, relax. I still find it so beautiful to hear.

  4. I so ‘get’ this!! I want to try to do everything just right. Totally a perfectionist. In my everyday I see constantly the ways that I fall short of it all being just right. I think I set my standards too high b/c no one can always have their house dusted spotlessly, floors vacuumed & mopped, everything put away, no clutter, kitchen immaculate, ironing done, time to help others in their times of need, perfect responses to all that life throws at us and a lovely relationship with God ALL THE TIME. I fall so far short of perfection and barely feel like I meet my own high standards most of the time. This book sounds exactly like what my heart needs to remember: Grace. HIS Grace. B/c in His grace He sees me as I am: imperfect, flawed but so loved in Him. Thanks Emily for writing this book. It sounds exactly like what my heart needs to hear. Not everyone understands this path. I’m right there with you. I ‘get’ it!! Bless you! xo

  5. Wow….After watching Emily’s video…I NEED this book. Yes, I too am a good girl.

  6. Oh goodness, especially now! I made mistakes in my life, trying to rebel as the good girl–not wanting to be seen as the “librarian” or the “miss-goodie-two-shoes”…and now, after choosing to live as I was created and not be ashamed of my life, I am finding that I’m still struggling with that grace…I still trip up on it. I still search wildly for the manuel on how to do everything right, and I’m just so afraid I’ll mess up and when I do I just can’t rest in it–I have to fix it, or I have to acknowledge what I’ve learned–quickly, before anyone else notices. Though I’m learning grace more and more…my Father wants me to know that I’ll never fully know it this side of Heaven, and so He allows me to be tested again and again–and again I’m closer to His vision, His refining.

    I’ve so much appreciated this journey of Grace with you, Emily…your book writing, your telling of it, and now the revealing of it…

  7. As an only child to older parents, I spent my childhood trying to be good, quiet, and please them. This carried over into my relationship with my Heavenly Father. Add to that a personality that is task-driven and I was a power-house in college. Then I got married and had 5 children. No matter how “good” I was, my to-do list was never done, my ministry zeal disappeared in the haze of midnight feedings, and my husband wondered why I wouldn’t just sit and “be” with him. It is just in the past couple years that I’ve seen how driven I am by a desire to please others, and have them be impressed with me, rather than motivated by the love, grace, and mercy of God. My good days will never be enough to impress earn these gifts, and my bad days will never separate me from them. What grace! Soli deo gloria.

  8. Wow. I want to be a good girl in God’s eyes, but I have fallen so short of that. The closer I get to Him, the more I realize how far from being ‘good’ that I really am. BUT I know that His grace is more than enough for me and that He loves me anyway. Lately these thoughts have been smack dab in front of me continually. Overwhelmingly grateful for a God whose grace is abundant and His mercies new every morning.

  9. I’m the good girl who every so often wants to throw it all up in the air & say “I quit, I don’t want to be the good girl anymore”.

  10. Emily,

    Thanks for being real!

    For me, good not necessarily … obeident more times than not. I love the way Neil Anderson says it …. I am a saint who occassionally sins. My goal is Holiness for He says “Be ye Holy as I am Holy”. But, I know I am unfinished because “He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus”.

    It has not always been this way, as at times,I have tried hard to work out my salvation. But now at the age of 58 almost 59 I find myself humbly depending on my Lord and Savior to guide me towards daily obiedence as I follow him.

    Blessings, Beth

  11. Yes, I do. My husband does, too. Just ask him how often I toss and turn at night, wake up at all hours sighing and finally rise early from bed only to be tired from all the mental checklists I’ve created involving how to be a better mom, wife, housekeeper, organizer. I’m so thankful for God’s grace.

    I know so many girls in my life. I’d love to pass on a copy to one of them.

    Thank you for your responding yesterday. God is able. πŸ™‚

  12. I am a good girl. I will turn myself inside out to follow the rules–real and imaginary rules I impose on myself.

    I’m so looking forward to reading this book with a bunch of friends. πŸ™‚

  13. Absolutely I question every day. But, I wasn’t always like that. I think that since I have had kids it has gotten a lot worse. I want to make sure that I am not damaging them πŸ™‚ “Did they play enough outside today? Did they watch too much TV? Did I feed them something nutritious?” That seems to be my way of thinking these days…Really interested in learning more about your book!

  14. Hi Emily,
    Looking forward to this book. Sounds like an interesting read. I am totally a “good girl.” Have a blessed day with Jesus!

  15. I am so a “good” girl. I am very much looking forward to reading this book. The description rings true in my life. Thank you for sharing.

  16. Yes. We had identical twin boys in May which expanded our family from 5 to 7. I am not sure how many times I have sat down and re-examined my life and tried to figure out all the ways I could improve on this or that, only to wake up and rinse and repeat the day before. I am so thankful for God and His grace.

  17. I relate to this too! living with discouragement and shame for not being successful at acting like the good girl I’m “supposed to” be. . .

  18. i replay the day every night. and wish wish wish for second chances. i want everyone around me to be happy and at peace and if i have sabotaged that, it kills me. so, yes. i am a “good” girl in that respect.

  19. Do I lay my head down and stew over all the things I could have done better, more perfectly? Every night. I’m the poster child for the ‘try hard’ life.

  20. I have always considered myself a good girl. I don’t remember a time I didn’t believe in God. My earliest memories are of saying my prayers at night, and I knew he listened. But it wasn’t until I was much older that the idea of God’s grace rather than my own attempts at being good was what saved me. Silly looking back, that I could sit in church for 40 years and not understand that. I’ve had the reruns of my day as I lay in bed at night convicting me of all the ways I had failed that day. I still struggle to be good, to bear the fruit, to reflect the light, I think that is part of loving God and wanting to please him. But I finally realize we are all learning and growing until the day we die, and Gods grace is there to cover us. And yes, Grace is my middle name:>)

  21. I relate to the “good girl” in terms of my struggles to maintain an image of perfection as a mom. After my 3rd child was born and I was suddenly a SAHM I had to go through a process of figuring out what mattered most. First item off the list? The need to be thought of as perfect by others. Afterall, God and I both knew the truth.
    Great giveaway…can’t wait to read this book, Emily.

  22. I have the “I’m fine!” answer down pat. I never let anyone in to know how I struggle. I’m a worship leader, and we’re supposed to have our stuff together, y’know? It’s pretty lonely.

  23. I like the earlier post about a recovering good girl. That’s definitely me. Lived a good girl life my whole life. My daughters have given me the courage to seek a new perspective. Still a process though, so I’m looking forward to your book!

  24. I can sooo relate – and especially the last few days since a ladies retreat with church … I’ve been getting reminded of things God wants/needs me to forgive and ask for forgiveness! In amongst all the other worry and shame!!!! I don’t think my headache has shifted the last few days for longer than a few minutes — even when I take nurofen!
    Thankyou Emily so much for writing this book – you will touch the lives of so many more of us recovering good girls than you will ever know!!! You are such a blessing!

  25. Emily,
    I know I have good girl tendencies, however I am learning to live in the grace of God. To live like Christ and for Him, I try to shift my focus to His mission and believe that He declared even this work (me), good.
    I am looking forward to reading your book!
    Brooke

  26. I totally relate to what you are saying in this video. I struggled, for a long time, with trying to be this perfect person who had everything in life together, or at least I tried to make sure I presented that way to others. It was common for me to constantly re-hash conversations in my head, over and over, trying to think on what was said, what I could have said in a better way, etc. I would go to sleep at night beating myself up for what all I didn’t accomplish, not giving myself credit for what I was able to accomplish. This behavior eventually lead me to develop an eating disorder. Through recovery I am learning to let go of this perfectionistic mindset. Not easy but so wonderfully freeing. I am very excited about your book!

  27. Just listening to your story I can relate so much. Like you I was saved as a young child and have always been seen as a good girl doing what is right. I know it is only through Christ is there any good in me. He is not asking for my performance He just wants me. This is hard to do when you are trying in your own strength to be the Good Girl.
    Kellie

  28. I think I am leaning towards good. I have the moments of should have and would have but they seem to be fading. I have created such an open line of communication with God that even the days of trial and tribulations feel like perfect days. Maybe I just finally allowed grace in my life without being aware of it. I am definitely a good girl when it comes to sitting down, I dont like to! Something else can be done and should be done around the home. I was never like this until I had our son. I think the good girl phases change as our lives change. I guess my prayers and honesty within myself and those around me may be me beginning the road to recovery from a good girl. Your book really peaks my interest because I am really not sure where I would fall. πŸ™‚

  29. I am a good girl. I hadn’t really thought about it until I heard about your book last year and then t resonated…..”yeah, that’s me…I do that”. Looking forward to the book! I think God is working on my heart.

  30. Oh, yes. Except most of the time I feel like I’m failing at even being a “good girl”. This is a book I desperately need to read!

  31. Yep…no doubt about it….but the worrying about it seems to have lessened as I have gotten older. Grace can be thanked for that.

  32. Emily I love hearing you speak! Your words went straight to my heart this morning. I too am a recovering “good girl.” I was blessed to grow up in an christian family and can not remember when Jesus was not a part of my life. Often I have felt ill-equipped to witness to anyone because my story was too ordinary, there was no interesting crisis moment. Thanks for the affirmation that it is ok, and that God’s grace is there for me too! Can’t wait to read the book, hurry up September!
    Blessings!

  33. I thought by the time I was 40, I’d be beyond all that but as I work through helping my 13 y.o. with her perfectionism and feelings of inadequacy, I keep realizing that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Can’t WAIT to read this book!

  34. Yes, I have spent the majority of my life following the rules, trying to be perfect. It’s exhausting. I’m looking forward to reading this book.

  35. I do consider myself a good girl- at least that’s the thread that holds the flaws together, to steal a phrase:)

  36. I have always been “a good girl”… and I totally need to read Emily’s book! That good girl mentality kept rearing its ugly head and asking “but what;’s wrong with those things?” as I listened … and while my head knows the answer, apparently my heart needs some more work on the matter!

  37. Yes but thankfully I’m in recovery. Surrender and rest are still difficult but I’m learning. As for the to-do lists, I’ll write things down that I’ve already done just so I can check more stuff off. Ridiculous.

    Such a great giveaway! It’s like a weeklong grace party. : )

  38. I am a recovering good girl. On the outside I always had the image. On the inside however, was a very unworthy heart that led to some poor choices and falls from grace. It was probably the best thing God did for me, allowing me to walk through some less than good girl stuff. He’s helping me with that image. To line up the outside with the inside. Sometimes I think it’s the good girls we need to worry most about.

  39. Definitely yes. Deeply engrained in my heart is the belief that if I do it all correctly I can achieve goodness. Eventhough in my mind I tell myself that only one good person walked this earth…Jesus. Looking soooo forward to this book. Thanks Emily!

  40. Yes but thankfully I’m in recovery. Surrender and rest are still difficult but I’m learning. As for the to-do lists, I’ll write things down that I’ve already done just so I can check more stuff off. Ridiculous. Such a great giveaway! It’s like a weeklong grace party. : )

  41. Ah, semantics! I’d like to say I’m a recovering “Good girl,” saved from herself as much as anything else, by grace. πŸ™‚ Oh, I would really love to win this giveaway!

  42. I’m definitely a good girl, in fact too much so sometimes. I’m looking forward to reading your book because of it.

  43. I consider myself a good girl, and I struggle with those same “failures” each day. How wonderful to know I’m not alone.

  44. Yes, I would consider myself a good girl…partly because I did things “right” while growing up and now, and because I was always called the “good girl” all through out high school, and even now in my adult age!

  45. Oh, I can so relate to this, especially right now. My family is in the process of adopting & I wonder 300 times a day, if we are doing things “right” or if we need to change something. And can we change it in the next few weeks! Yikes! I need this book!!

  46. Oh, do I ever know what it’s like to be a good girl. To grow up playing by the rules, looking in in disbelief when others didn’t. Wondering why I still didn’t measure up. For me it’s been about learning the difference between religion and relationship. Looking for success in the try-hard life is futile when there’s no intimate relationship with Jesus. And then once we begin to go deeper with Him, all that try-hardness flies out the window. We see that are good girls not because of a legalistic set of goals we want to obtain, but because we love Him. I absolutely cannot wait to read this new book!!! Blessings upon you! Your message is so desperately needed.

  47. Yes, I’ve definitely lain in bed thinking about things I should have doe better. so excited for you, Emily!

  48. I used to consider myself a good girl. But the more I learn about grace and redemption, the more I realize how broken I am and how desperately I need a Savior. That being said, yes, I do still strive for that “good girl” perfection and struggle with worry. And it’s tiring! Grace, grace, grace!

    I’m so looking forward to your book, Emily. Your writing amazes and speaks directly to my heart so often. Thank you.

  49. I don’t have to wait till I lay down on my bed at night: I’ve got plenty to beat myself up about all day long. Is there grace for the striver? Because shame won’t even let you label yourself a good girl.

  50. No, I really don’t consider myself a good girl. I consider myself as someone trying so hard to be the good girl and can’t ever seem to get it right. It’s aggravating and exhausting. I’m learning more every day to turn my focus off me and what I can’t do and turn to God and watch what He can & will do through me…when me is removed!

    Can’t wait to read this book!!!

  51. Well, that all depends. Growing up definitely a good girl. Getting into the teenage years I appeared good on the outside but pushed the envelope at times. If being a good firl means always wanting to please others, be accepted than yes. But since acceptance isn’t always readily handed out and you wonder why, then the shame comes in. Still struggling to be a good wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend.
    Congratulations on your new book, I read your blog every post! Blessings.

  52. I have lived both live…the bad and the good…saved by grace from the darkness…I entered the light…found freedom….but then over time…I took on the weight of performance….Always trying to measure up to something…depositing all the good into a hole that would never fill. I too would go to bed each night…one word would describe my feeling for the day…failure…I “missed” the mark in every area of my life….So I am a not so good girl…recovering from becoming a good girl…oh the Grace of God….to marvelous for words.

  53. My performance driven mentality makes me “want” to be a good girl, but my God-driven spirit reminds me I am a GRACE girl. Would love to win your book!

  54. Wow, Emily, this is such an eye opening concept. From the time I was small, I was very aware of the presence of God. At first, as a friend and companion when I was lonely and later as my Savior at age ten. And, yes, I thought I was a good girl, then. But the longer I experienced organized religion the more I felt condemned as a bad girl. Who could ever live up to all that God expected? In the end I it was easier to just become a “bad girl” – a bad girl who cried herself to sleep at night because she knew she could never be good enough. Now, at age 69, I still struggle with that but have just come to accept that I am who I am and God loves me anyhow.:)

  55. That is a loaded question this early in the morning. People have always called me a “good girl”, but that’s from their perspective. Knowing my own heart, I say they’re wrong. Grace made a way for this sinner to be clothed in righteousness. It’s in Him.

  56. I am a recovering good girl, celebrating FREEDOM! There are days when my flesh struggles to live in that freedom. And I can’t wait to read your book Emily. Congratulations!

  57. I am a “good girl” who sees myself as a failure. Who thinks others see me as a failure. Who is ashamed of my life and the place in which I am in at the moment. I have been told that perfectionism is pride and that makes me feel even worse because not only am I a failure but I have this sin that just won’t quit. I don’t want to be trapped in this life but don’t know how to get out. I have a hard time believing that Christ loves me. I often see God as one cracking the whip until I am broken into pieces until I “get it.” I am really struggling to understand what grace and love and the peace of Christ mean in my life. So very eager to read this book. Thank you, Emily.

  58. I used to be. I even got prideful about it. Then I fell, and realized that I couldn’t earn anything from God. It’s only by His mercy, grace and love that I can be saved and used in any way for His glory.

  59. A good girl? I have definitely spent a lot of time trying to be! At 54, I am finally realizing who I have been trying to please, the guilt I have allowed the evil one to place on my back, and the time I have wasted in the process. Freedom has new meaning to me, and I hope to never return to that prison. It is a daily process. Today I am teaching my granddaughters the grace of FatherGod and what it means to have Freedom in Him.

  60. I’d like answer this question with a song lyric… “I’m 80% angel, 10% demon, and the rest is hard to explain.”

  61. Wow, thanks Annie Downs for introducing me to Emily Freeman. I will definitely add your blogs to my favorites. I am looking forward to reading your book — my nest is 3/4 empty (with a HS senior ready to fly soon) and this past year has been one of great reflection for me. Where did the time go? Where could I have done a better job as a parent and a wife? I am trying not to be anxious about the days ahead and put it all in God’s hands and to walk closer with Him.

  62. Yes I do and I can so relate with you Emily! I’d LOVE to win.

    Love,
    Traci @ Ordinary Inspirations

    curly2880 at yahoo dot com

  63. I used to be a good girl, in my own strength and power and perfectionism. How exhausting. Now, I’m a good girl because He is in me, and He is good, and He has made me good – a saint. If His Spirit replaced my old spirit, how can I not be good?

    I think He loves us too much to let us succeed at being good girls on our own, because He knows the heartache and burden and never-going-to-be-good-enough disease that plagues us there. The Christian life is not made to be lived on our own. (I can’t remember who said that first, but it wasn’t me πŸ™‚

    For in Him, we live and move and have our being. Amen and amen!

  64. Yes, I have a similar story of being the “good girl” but always and still feeling like my good isn’t enough. I look forward to reading Emily’s book.

    Brenda

  65. I just turned 30 and have spent the last few years trying to figure out life outside of this good-girl-trying, only I didn’t categorize it that way until I saw your video for your book a few months ago and something in my head went “DING DING DING”. Somewhere in my mid-20s, I realized that my understanding of life, faith and what I thought God/my Christian family & friends/church wanted from me WASN’T WORKING. I was exhausted, frustrated and I had to put the whole thing down to gain some perspective. I stopped going to church and tried to figure out what I wanted, not what this nebulous pressure wanted. I have done some major growing and figured a lot of things out about myself and what I desire, which is not a selfish exercise but one vital to an authentic life. That’s what I’ve discovered I desire: authenticity. And authenticity is impossible when you’re trying to be perfect and please everyone else (which, by the way, is also impossible).

    Where I am now is trying to reincorporate church and faith into this new understanding. I’m finding it very difficult to do because I am TERRIFIED of falling back into the same routine. I look forward to your book because I need some guidance on how to do faith and keep it my own, without the try-hard approach.

  66. Yep, definitely a recovering good girl (and Christian since age 9) who just uncovered true grace, or rather had my eyes opened earlier this year to truly understand that my “goodness” can be a stumbling block to receiving and giving grace. I once was blind but now I see… and now grace really is amazing.

  67. I am 58 years old and I still strive so hard to be the perfect wife, perfect mother, perfect sister… but I always fall short of the worldly definition of perfect. I am learning to accept that I am that perfect wife, perfect mother, perfect sister because of what Christ has done for me. Each nite I go to bed with doubts in my head but when I spend time in the word and with the Lord each morning as I start my day, I am reminded that I am a good girl and that He loves me even when I cannot love myself.

  68. Though I am a lover of grace, I still fall into the good girl trap in my expectations of myself. At night I replay every conversation and failure and try to fix them. Totally looking forward to your book, because, already, your words have been a gift each day.

  69. Yes, I am a good girl. I am the daughter of a good girl and the granddaughter of a good girl, so at least it comes honestly! Of my siblings, I am always referred to as the “really good one!” And we’re grown up now! It can be emotionally exhausting to be a good girl, and I am slowly learning to accept grace for myself and to extend it to others whom at one time I might not have considered “worthy.” I have two teen daughters, and I want for them to see a balance of goodness and grace, and to know that grace is what keeps us going when we just can’t measure up. I am SO looking forward to your book-can’t tell you how excited I was to read the post on In-courage!

  70. I’m interested in joining the Bloom Book club, but I don’t know where to sign up at. Can someone, please direct me? Thank you!

    • Hi Bree! No need to sign up – just show up! I’m no Bloom Book Club expert, but I don’t think they’ve announced the fall book yet. Just keep checking back here and they’ll give instruction!

  71. Yes, I’ve always been a good girl, trying to please everyone. I recently accepted Christ in my life and am on this new, beautiful journey!

  72. Depends on the day πŸ˜‰
    All in all I do my best to be the good girl in Christ. Some days I lay my head down & smile – rested on the choices/reactions the day has provided me. Then there are those days that I go to bed when the kids go to bed to put the day behind me. But throug it all – He still Loves this girl πŸ™‚
    Colleen G.

  73. yes, I am a good girl at heart but I mostly live at peace nowadays..I am married to a nice man too..we have our moments….LOL
    can’t wait to read your book….

  74. I sure am. Have been for as long as I can remember, if the things I don’t aren’t perfect I have big issues. I’m trying to show myself grace, but it can be difficult! Thanks!

  75. I have struggled with perfectionism my whole life. I am reminded how much I need Him and His Grace, daily. Thank you so much for writing this book; I cannot wait to read it!

  76. I’m good only because of Jesus’ goodness…left to myself, I am a sinner whose heart is black. Praise God for his compassion to me!

  77. Fortunately/unfortunately I do not consider myself a good girl. I was not raised in a godly home and I walked the ways of this world until I was almost 26 years old. Although, I am not a good girl, through the GRACE of God I am HIS girl!

  78. I feel like so many women on this post. Exhausted, I am trying to be the good girl. Because I am a control freak and critical of myself, I fail miserably. In the world’s sense I am a good girl, but thanks be to God, he puts me right in my place to show me just how much I need HIM!

  79. “When she was good, she was very, very good. And when she was bad she was horrid!”

    Remember that line from the old nursery rhyme? I guess that would be true for me today.

    I’m so glad that Jesus loves me and knows my heart . .. loves me just the same … and isn’t content to leave me there!

  80. Oh my. Watching this video just gave me goosebumps, because you are describing me. I’ve always been “good” but it never seems to be enough. I’m very exciting to read this book. I can already tell that it will be speaking directly to my soul.

  81. As another “recovering good girl” I’ve been anxiously awaiting Emily’s book. I knew from just a brief encounter with her and from hearing her speak that she’d have the ability to speak deep into the needy places of this good girl’s heart. I’m rejoicing that it’s finally here!

  82. No, I don’t consider myself a good girl…I’ve messed up too much…but I consider myself a good-enough-girl because God loves me just the way I am.

  83. I love your honesty. Does a ever really think that she is a good girl? I understand this thought process of always wanting to do it better..should-a, could-a mentality. I’m so grateful for Grace.

    • Okay, note to self. No more typing before coffee! That should read…Does a good girl ever really think that she is a good girl?

      All Better. Had to fix that , good girls don’t make verbal messes without cleaning up ( please know I’m laughing at myself)

  84. I do consider myself a good girl — wait, let me back up – I am a wretched sinner, saved by grace alone – however I have always sort of lived with that inner voice telling me I need to be a good girl and make good choices. I think this book is just the thing I need to read! The giveaway looks amazing! I have already pre-ordered my copy of the book, so if I win I will be giving my copy to a friend. =) kathy k.

  85. I do think of myself as a “good girl” because I try to obey God’s rules and compare myself too often to the rest of the world who doesn’t seem to care what God has to say. If I compared myself to the real standard, I’d far from measure up to the word “good”.

  86. Yep — I’m that recovering perfectionist, try to be good, constantly feeling like a failure girl too. I’d love to read this book — I think it would help me on my journey to accepting myself like God does. πŸ™‚

  87. I don’t think of myself as a good girl. Though, I think I fit into what you are getting at by using the term “good girl.” I grew up as a pastor’s daughter, never went through a period of rebellion against my parents, didn’t get into any of the big “bad” stuff. It wasn’t til I was an adult that i started seeing my own form of bad stuff…pride, judgement, a critical spirit…and that is when God transformed my heart by showing me the beauty of His grace. I can’t wait to read your book!! I would love to win it, but am planning to purchase even if I don’t win. πŸ™‚

  88. Oh yes. Been there. And the older I get the more I realize us “good girls” have been doing more harm than good for the kingdom – completely unintentionally selling a “try hard/works” kind of mentality rather than grace. Ugh. It’s not about how good we are – it’s about how good HE is! Looking forward to the book…

  89. I see myself as a woman, beginning to come into grace in a way that is more authentic than it is prescribed. Always, my desire has been to be “good enough,” to earn love and affirmation, to work harder and longer at whatever the task in an attempt to avert the crushing loneliness and disapointment of falling short of the ideal. Yet, this morning I woke up, walked outside with messy hair and flip-flops that clashed with my bathrobe, and was able to soak in the beauty of a cool morning, a drippy old watering can, and peace lilies bobbing in the light summer breeze. Then I wrote all of those moments of grace-love down in my journal. God is slowly showing me that I–the deep down, hidden, not-so-carefully-contrived version of me–am lovely to him. In that affirmation, there is safety and rest.

  90. Okay, so here’s a secret that’s not such a secret, I guess — growing up I think I tried to be the good girl in front of authority (especially God) and the bad girl in front of my peers. One day I realized how much I was trying to impress God with my “goodness” when it hit me that my prayers for others were often so insincere — as if I were just trying to convince God that I cared enough for those people to pray for them. Does that make sense? Anyway — during that period of my life, He convinced me that I did not need to impress Him. He used Eph. 1. And ever since, I have been a “recovering good girl”. Some days, I feel completely recovered. Others, well, not so much. Can’t wait to read your book, Emily! πŸ™‚

  91. Nope, even though I catch myself trying to be one every day. In those moments, when one more checklist might make my head explode, I look at the beautiful iron cross that hangs in my bedroom, and thank my Lord that no matter how many times I fail, he loves me as if I never had. And that gets me through.

  92. I have always been seen as a good girl by others, but I struggle with knowing the real me and receiving God’s grace for my failures and sins. I know that I am not a good girl…in the way I harbor resentment toward my husband, in the way I talk to my children, in the way I don’t always keep my word to friends, in the way I let anxiety rule my life. I am learning in fresh, new ways that all is truly grace. When my eyes are fixed on Jesus, I am free to rest in His lavish love and grace. Can’t wait to read your book!

  93. Hmm … mostly yes, but in my own warped mind I still don’t think I’m good enough on a lot of days. I think I’m a good candidate for this book! Looking forward to reading it and passing it on πŸ™‚

  94. I’m a sinner so I’m really not good. I try to be good but often times I fall short.

  95. I definitely consider myself a good girl. But night time comes and I’m second guessing every word, thought and action…”do they like me, am I good enough, WHY did I say that?!” I am lost without grace, mercy and the Father’s love for me! So thankful for Emily and her ability to put into words what I’ve felt for so long and reach all the other good girls out there!

  96. Totally. My life has often been dictated by “good girl-ness” but by the grace of God, I’ve been working to get over that in the past couple of years. I always felt I had to dress a certain way, listen to certain music, go certain places… all to be more righteous. All to be loved more. All to be a picture-perfect good girl. But I’m slowly learning what grace is all about…and the freedom that comes with being loved as a child of God, and that He cares more about my heart than about my list of rules. By His grace alone I am moving forward… ever onward ever upward.

  97. I try to be… that’s the problem. I try to fit some “good girl” ideal that I imagined and I feel I should be able to muster up the self-discipline to be that girl. (Hmmmm…. “I”, “self”, now THAT’S the problem.)

    Thanks for helping us (recovering “good girls”) remember who we are in Christ.

  98. Yeah. That’s me. Trying to do things better, more perfectly. And failing, so often. Sleepless nights & wondering how God can love someone like me. My head speaks the truth, that God is not finished with me yet. As my heart slowly comes to believe this truth, I praise Him for His patience & daily grace.

  99. I am nothing without Christ. God forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of my Lord Jesus Christ. I am a child of God and I’m growing in grace. /

  100. I am good, because I am trying. I am trying because I am called to try. I do not seek perfection–well, I try not to seek perfection. πŸ™‚ I am open to change. I am open to growth. These things are good.

  101. Funny is yes, I would fall into the category of “good girl” in the outward sense – been saved since birth, recited the Jesus pray at 6, went to church camp, didn’t smoke or drink until of age, did devotions, started small group….but then I got in the city and started seeing the world outside my bubble…

    Don’t get me wrong – I’m still in the good girl category to most but I’ve learned that no one can be in the category when before the presence of the Perfect Lamb. And that believing you have to be just hurts your walk further — for all your recovering “good girls” read confessions of a good girl ! — and you feel demoralized about not living up to this image.

    My pastor recently preached a message on mercy and grace and opened it with the idea of “mercy is a hammock — do you rest in the hammock of God’s grace” … well I”m trying to let myself REST in it (..and even that is a struggle consider you see my efforts still trying to get the job done…what can I say – I’m a work in progress!)

  102. I consider myself a girl full of good intentions, but I don’t always do what’s right. I strive to, but fall short. Thank God for grace and mercy.

  103. I would consider myself trying to be a good girl. I’m constantly faIling but at least I’ll always be a good girl in His eyes!

  104. Everything you said “clicked.” When people would ask me to share my testimony I would hesitate because a lot of times when you hear other’s testimonies its stories of radical healing from addiction or something the world sees as much worse then the little lies we tell ourselves. Even though those can be just has harmful as any addiction. I don’t have a dramatic testimony because I’ve strived to be “the good girl” but I still have one, one full of mercy and grace that I’m learning to walk out each day. I can’t wait to read your book! If I don’t win, I will be picking it up shortly! πŸ™‚

  105. I’m a normal girl who tries to accept grace and unfailing love… however, my heart tends to lean towards the work of “acting like” a good girl instead of letting His grace wash over my heart. I would love to read your book.

  106. Girl! Yes, I consider myself a good girl. At least, I have all these years because I didn’t have an exciting or remarkable story. I also tried so hard to follow the rules and make people happy. But then my heart got broken and the reality in there flowed forth in all its less-than-good-girl glory and I came face-to-face that I am a sinner, saved by grace and grace alone.

  107. I am soooooo purchasing this book! I have gotten in bed at 9p.m. sometimes only to look at the clock and see that it’s 1030p.m. and I haven’t been to sleep yet all because my mind is racing with the “mistakes” I’ve made and how I can respond differently, (the “right” way), to unfavorable circumstances, or how I could be perfect! Well I had to learn that I am not perfect, never will be, and if I were perfect then I wouldn’t need Jesus! Well, I do NEED Jesus and I WANT Jesus, therefore I am okay with saying that I am imperfectly perfect! No more being the person I think others expect me to be in Christ. I am who God created and allows me to be in Him!

    smooches,
    Larie

  108. Only a “good” girl if viewing myself through the eyes of God and the blood of Jesus. As a rule my expectations of myself are too high and am constantly falling short, questioning, wondering… Never good enough … but thankful that grace, God’s love, His mercy are not based on our goodness or ability to be perfect. Sometimes it seems there are just too many rules and regulations to follow…

  109. I am a sinner made saint, by grace alone. Thank the Lord, truly! So if I were to answer if I am a good girl the best response would be I try. And I continually fall short. Everyday.

  110. I’m not sure I’m as good-girl as I once was, but there are still lingering good-girl-isms. Look forward to reading the book!

  111. Whoa! Didn’t realize there was a name for the way I am/was. LOL Must confess I definitely am a good girl, one who is now recovering of course:) A little nervous and excited all at the same time about the possibility of experiencing freedom from this horrendous burden.

  112. I had for a long time. I was the one the teacher put in charge in the classroom when she stepped out. I was careful to follow the rules. I didn’t want to get in trouble. Sometimes the criticism for not being good was more difficult than just being good in the first place. I accepted Christ when I was 10, but kept up with my good girl image – in fact more so, since now I had a list of “expectations for good girls” from God. But over time, I have realized that my image of a good girl was so mistaken, because even in my being good, there grew pride in being good, which was evidence that I WASN’T good. That there was evil in my heart, and I had to walk a path of realizing that I wasn’t good, couldn’t be good without the power of the cross. I am still walking that path today. There are days of assumption that I am good – and it is so very wrong. When I think I’m good, I only try and deny that my heart is not evil and that my desires and motives are not twisted. There is a book title that I have loved, and I can’t remember the author. “Content to be Good, Called to be Godly” is where I have been for a long time in my life. Confusing good with sinless – or at least not as sinful as other people. It’s only the work of God in my life and heart that’s helped me realize that I’m not good – no matter how many good things it looks like I do. When I know I’m not good, I can fully accept the reality and the power of Christ and His sacrifice in my life. But old habits die hard, and I forget, and I don’t always stay in the reality of the life God has for me. Just like everyone else. Good girls need Jesus, too.

  113. Oops! After all that, I never signed in. Guess I”m not so good after all! πŸ™‚

  114. Years trying to please others. Years trying to please God. One year of finally learning, I in myself, will never be pleasing. ONLY, thru Jesus Christ am I capable of doing anything.
    Peace, relief & grateful that He deems me worthy. I am so glad His ways are not mine. He is in control.
    This is not to say , I have this down. I do understand now, I can go to Him and be restored.
    Halleluia!!!

  115. I sometimes feel like my name would be in the dictionary behind the words good-girl. I can’t wait to read your book emily. I need truth spoken to me!

  116. I lived my entire childhood and adolesence as a good girl….. trying so hard in my own strength. I ended up failing miserably. Fortunately, the Lord wouldn’t let me go. This video brought tears to my eyes. So many friends are so weary, me included. We can all use a little more grace. Blessings.

  117. Do I consider myself a good girl? Good by this worlds standards, yes. Good by God’s standard? No, no one is good but God. Thank goodness I don’t have to be good to get to Heaven, I just have to have a relationship with my Jesus.

  118. I am the good girl, and I am failing miserably in myself. So thankful for the Lord’s grace and mercy…

  119. I would like to win this for my wife! She is good in my eyes, but God is the standard and we all are found wanting.

  120. I am a “good-girl” redefined….. In the last few years (why did it take so long!!!) I am finally coming to the revelation that my “goodness” is not based on my performance. (Breathe a deep big sigh of relief.) Growing up I was a “pleaser” of men. Now, I am learning how to be a pleaser of God. His requirements are so much easier – having simple childlike faith in His love for us. So, on the (many) days when I am tempted to feel like a failure….He is helping me to remember that my goodness comes from Him alone – because of the price His Son paid for me – and not based on my performance.

  121. I can definitely relate to what’s being said, but I seem to always fall quite short of even my own standards, let alone God’s. This book sounds wonderful! Thank you for the chance!

  122. I do consider myself a good girl, but i havent always been. we all fall short of the Glory of God. Thank good ness for forgiveness and grace.

  123. no…..i always seem to see the worst in people, to think the worst of me, to say/do something simply to fit in…the list is endless

  124. I am SO a good girl in the way you described it in your video clip, Emily! You brought tears to my eyes. Sometimes it makes it hard for my own teen daughter to relate to me — but what she doesn’t understand is that we both struggle with our imperfections, our failures. She feels she can’t live up to my “good girl” status — but I know that we are equally in need of God’s grace.

    I would love, love, love to win a copy of your book!

    I’ve been thinking a lot about you lately, and your post “the art of change” because on Thursday my daughter and I head to El Salvador, where we will be meeting our sponsored child. While tears are always right at the surface these days, I want to adhere to your “plan” as well πŸ™‚

  125. Yes and no. I was, but am a recovering “good girl” who has thrown herself onto Daddy’s lap and is learning and trying to stay there. “In Christ alone.”

  126. Yes, I am a good girl. I feel so attacked about how clean my house is not and worry too much about what people think/say about me. And really? Those things don’t matter because when God looks at me, He doesn’t judge me based on how much dog hair is under the bed.

  127. I really relate to what Shawn said. Using society’s measuring stick, I’m pretty darn good. Using God’s, not so much. But I do try! “In Christ alone, my hope is found . . .”

  128. He just reminded me once again, that all is grace. My teenage daughter stood before a crowded church and declared her own choice to follow Christ after a missions experience. As a mother, it is easy to to get swept up in the doing for my kids, instead of resting in His amazing grace and faithfulness. He has our lives covered, doesn’t need me to do anything for Him. So thankful for the reminder.

  129. Define what a “Good Girl” is. Does it mean never sinning..then forget it.

    I am, like the rest of us, on this journey of learning to live by faith and in His Grace..moment by moment!! Is it easy, HECK NO!! Do I fail.. somedays miserably!!! Each time I get up, dust myself off and pray for His forgiveness.. πŸ™‚

    • Good girl absolutely does not mean that. When I say good girl, I mean simply a girl who tries hard and never feels like she’s good enough. Or tries hard and does good and feels pride about it. Either way, it’s about her. And her efforts. That’s a short definition of a good girl.

  130. This is totally who I am! I am a good girl who somehow thinks that I always have to be perfect, even when I know that my Savior loves me exactly how I am. He created me this way, imperfections and all. Just the same, It’s hard for me to love me, good girl and all.

  131. Is it ok to say that SOMETIMES I’m a good girl? And why does it feel so naughty to say that? I’m still learning how to be REAL. Recovering, yes, I like that.

  132. I’ve been the good girl, and I’ve been the not-so-good girl. Most people would see me as the good girl, but God and I know truth. It’s so freeing to realize He loves and accepts me just as I am, and that He will line my path with grace as I learn to walk in a manner worthy of Christ. I’m so excited to read your book, Emily!

  133. Dear Emily, I have quietly been reading your blog for a while now and truly find comfort in your words……you so eloquently say exactly what my heart feels. I ordered your book last week and look forward to its arrival. And yes….I am a good girl who is tired and searching for peace within myself……I find a bit of peace when I read your blog….thank you

  134. I’ve always TRIED my darndest to be a good girl, and I’ve always felt that I was not good enough. So I guess feeling-wise, I’d say I’m a not-good-enough girl, but Christ-wise, I’m a beloved woman, which is WAAAAAY better than being a good girl by my own (or the world’s) standards.

  135. I think others would say I’m a “good girl” and that’s what I’ve strived for most of my life. The message in the video resonated with me completely. Looks like an excellent book!

  136. That’s me all right Emily. I’m usually not content to just review the day. I tend to go back YEARS!! Oh dear, I really am in need of some major over-hauling.

  137. Yes, my testimony is not exciting enough to be called a bad girl, but I am certainly a sinner so it’s hard to classify myself as good either. Your book is in on the way to me from Amazon but I have a friend who is a perfectionist like I am that would love to read it too. Lord bless you for this book!

  138. My mom always calls me a “good girl” and sometimes I act that way, but deep down I call myself bad. Thank you, God, for your unfailing grace and mercy.

  139. Unequivocally yes! I’ve always been (and still am) a rule-follower. If I’ve done something wrong or hurtful, I wallow in the guilt for days. I live to please others and meet their expectations. I know it’s not about works, but I can’t help but feel like God (and others) love me less when I make a mistake. I’m slowly learning to offer myself grace – even as I know that God does!

  140. I work very hard to be perceived by others as a good girl, even though I know that I am not, actually. Not on my own, anyway.

  141. i now want to read this entire book! thank you for this opportunity. I am learning so much about God’s grace this year.

  142. I’ve always been told I’m a good girl… but really most days I doubt that I am… I know that I lack self esteem but I am learning so much from all the posts and emails… I definitely want this book too…. thanks for writing….

  143. I did always think of myself as a good girl…a pleaser, until I fell from grace in a big way a few years ago. It is a huge, daily struggle for me to accept that I am forgiven, I fight with guilt constantly. My mantra is grace. I would love the necklace to feel around my neck.

  144. I am a good girl through and through. Always have been. I am so looking forward to reading Emily’s words b/c this “giving up the try hard life” has been the journey I’ve been on.

  145. Can’t wait to read this book! It’s so true, these are the things we don’t talk about. We so want to be the “good girls” God wants us to be. As for me, I have these high ideals for my motherhood and how I want things to be for my children. I want to be the “ideal Godly mom” and “be” the supreme example of a godly life for my children … then they see the real me when life and circumstances present a small challenge …. I want holidays and special days to be “ideal”. I make my plans. Then the holiday takes place and things don’t go according to my “ideal” plans. ahhhh … What amazes me is not only do I have God’s grace in all!!! .. but I have my children’s grace in all!!! Somehow I am enough .. and better than maybe I really am to God and my children. I will cook the most regular food, and to them it is spectacular. They think I am great. I really like who I am when I view myself, my life and memories through that grace!!!!!!! β™₯

  146. First of all, awesome video! And your message really strikes home with me. I’m a rising senior in high school, and for most… well, all… of my life I have been the ‘good girl’. The girl who always strives to do her very best in everything she does, and commits to all the right causes, and lives trying to be what Jesus would want… exactly as you said. Lately I’ve been on a journey to try and figure out what it means to be accepted, and how to accept the grace that is offered to me. I’m learning more of the fact that Jesus meets us right where we are, and that we don’t have to try so hard. As all ‘good girls’ know, it’s most definitely not an easy task. In fact, it’s one of the hardest lessons I’ve ever had to learn, and one that is a moment-by-moment choice that I still have difficulty with. But, that’s where grace steps in. He knows my heart, and He is teaching and molding it into what He wants. I would love to have any of those reminders to come to every day! Thanks for sharing your heart with us all!

    (from your fellow NC girl!)

  147. Yes. But not proud of it.
    I constantly talk to myself and there have been times that my world has really only consisted of me and God. Not really aware of my surroundings, just going through the motions while talking non-stop inside {usually apologitically, on my part}. Confused, I have always remained very silent because society looks at me like what do you know about real problems. I can’t believe I am going to admit this, but sometimes I get the urge to “be bad” but I can’t even do that.Crazy.
    Emily- I love reading your blog and I can’t wait to read your book. Thank you!

  148. My way of “coping” with my dad’s alcoholism when I was growing up was to be the epitome of a good girl. I made excellent grades, was a teacher’s favorite, was involved in every activity I could think of, went to church every chance I could. I had great friends, a wonderful boyfriend (now my husband) and did everything I thought was “right.” I hid my secret from everyone around me until I was about 16 years old, when the walls came crashing down around me, and I realized I couldn’t fake perfect. That I didn’t want to fake perfect.

    My dad has been in recovery for 5 years now, and I’m still in recovery from trying to pretend everything is perfect. Things are wonderful, and I’m so blessed. But that’s just it–I’m blessed, not perfect. And that’s just the way it should be.

  149. Everyday I try to be the good girl but everyday I come up short. I fail. But I am so thankful to serve such an awesome God that no matter where I come up up short, he forgives me. Can’t wait to read your book.

  150. I think we all struggle trying to be good all the time but we all fall short. Very excited about this book and the birdcage is beautiful!

  151. Thank you, Emily, for this message of hope and deep, deep peace. Such a needed message in our busy, chaotic world. “When He shall come with trumpet sound, oh may I then in Him be found, dressed in His righteousness alone, faultless to stand before the throne!” In His righteousness alone – not in my own being a good girl. Such a relief – can’t wait to read the book.

  152. I do, I can relate to your story in many ways. I am a list maker, a rule follower. And when I came to Christ it was a struggle to relinquish that need for control, to achieve. It is still a battle in walking with Christ in faith, by grace.

  153. Yeah, I think of myself as a good girl, but I’m also recovering from the horrible insecurities I put on myself. I’m trying to rest in Him daily!

  154. Definitely! I cried when I first watched your video above, recognizing myself too well. I’ve marked your book’s release date on my calendar so I can get it right away, but I would love a free copy too!

  155. Yep, I’m a good girl. My hub calls me a “Goodie Two-Shoes.” I was teacher’s pet. Always followed the rules, got upset when others didn’t. Never considered drugs, sex or rock and roll because, well because it was bad! And bad things happen to bad people.
    Bad things happen to ‘Goodies,’ too. And I began to experience overwhelming anxiety and depression related to pleasing others, aspiring to exceed people’s standards and wanting desperately to be recognized for being good. Yet not experiencing freedom or having any ‘fun.’ How unfair!
    For a while I tried to be bad- but I was so good that I wasn’t very good at being bad. I even tried to convince others that I was at least partly bad- because then maybe I’d be off the hook. There’s so much more to say and examine about this area and even though I met the Lord in my teens, I am yet trying to cooporate with his grace and with his love, and discover more of who He is and who I am to Him.

  156. Am i a good girl? I like to believe that I am but I am a sinner. Jesus has made me appear to be a good girl infront of God but I still stumble someway everyday. I think I am a good girl because I put Jesus first and do my best to walk in His way. I get knocked down but I ask for forgiveness and dust myself off and start all over again. So yes I do believe I am a good girl!

  157. I do consider myself a “good girl.” I know that I have fallen short of God Glory, just like everyone. But the drive to “be perfect” and do everything right stems from pride and not out of the heart. I need Grace, we all do. I’m excited to read this book. Congrats Emily and thank you!

  158. I will obsess sometimes for days over what I should have done instead of what I did. I keep forgetting Christ died for my sins over 2000 years ago which is WAY before I was born. I have a hard time forgiving myself, but am learning just this: “All is forgiven, move on!” (that quote is actually from a weight loss coach I read about on the web.) I think the bird cage is lovely and can’t wait to read your book!

  159. After watching your video and hearing your beautiful words, I can with confidence say that I am a good girl. Feeling the need to control it all and make it fit into the “perfect” box are things I struggle with every day. The unspoken feeling that somehow I didn’t do it “right” is something I sleep with every night. I am slowly learning to accept God’s grace and feel blessed by everything I have. I’m so excited to read this book and continue my journey to “give up the try hard life.”

  160. I’m a ‘good girl’ too. But I spent a couple years of life not being so good. You know what happened next? This good girl had to work twice as hard at being a good girl, trying to live so good that it would redeem my own past. Attempting to live perfect to cover up my past mistakes. It is an exhausting place. I’ve been learning to surrender this “try-hard” life and believing that only Jesus and His grace can redeem.

  161. I struggle with wanting to be “good” but knowing that every day I fail. Understanding that God’s grace is a gift but never fully grasping or accepting rather that gift. Sounds like a great book!!

  162. A good girl? oh yes. I’m a hard-core rule follower and I have to remind myself that God is more concerned with my heart than all my doing. Yes, this is an area that a lot of us struggle with. Sounds like a good book to read. Would love to review this one on my blog.

  163. These words soo resonate in my heart. I’ve struggled with being a good girl my entire life (except for that brief period when I went bad). But the Lord saved me by grace because I surely didn’t deserve it. Although I still very much have the good girl tendencies, I know that I am fully loved and accepted by God (we all are). How cool is that?!

  164. I don’t consider myself a “Good Girl”. I have lived a very “colorful” life prior to coming to Christ. I know that he has forgiven my sins, though it took a long time to believe that. I try to live a very authentic life. Not the one I “should” be living, but one that is honest, both for my sake and for my Children. I always distanced myself from “christian” before I was saved because i found them hypercritical. I don’t want people who i witness to to feel that way. All the choices i make are not the perfect (or always the correct ones), but they are truth. I strive to be a better mother, wife, and Christian daily, but it is like everything else….. a lesson everyday. I love the birdcage…it is metaphorical… i was in a cage, but because of Christ, now i am free.

  165. The question Àre you a good girl¨? Well, I guess most of the time I am striving to be a good girl when I can get my head on straight and my foor out of my mouth! I have a long way to go to be a ¨good girl¨, but I praise God for His mercy and Grace as He continues to work with me and I continue to strive and listen to Him. To daily seek His word and live as He would have me live. I stand in front of God only by His grace and love. I may nto be the ¨good girl¨yet but I sure am keeping my eyes on the Lord so I can be!

  166. I used to be a good girl but definitely think that perspective was more focused on the external instead of the internal. Once my focus fixed itself on God and not on me, the inside of me started to line up with the outside that I tried so hard to keep up so perfectly. Now I’m free to be me…flaws and all. πŸ™‚

  167. Oh I love this! My blog talks about this almost everyday! Imperfect People in love with a perfect God! I put soooo many unrelistic expectations on myself and find myself swimming upstream just to keep my head above everything! I hear ya girl!

  168. I guess … I try really hard! I’m so excited about your book!! Actually, when I read your intro a few months back, I couldn’t wait to tell my oldest daughter about your book! We’ve been waiting, not so patiently, together!

  169. Here is my roundabout. I never think of myself as “bad girl” anymore, as my parents touted to me when I wasn’t doing what they wanted. I am not sure what a ‘good girl’ is but I am trying to follow His ways and dwell in His presence. I do fall short. I fall short often in some seasons and never in others. i do have a temptation that I often succumb to but it doesn’t make me a bad girl, just a broken and humbled girl. I too often put perfectly loving others first in my life, at my own peril even. I am learning to establish more realistic boundaries. Thank you for asking, Emily! I pray that your book will enrich and enliven!

  170. I always thought I was a good girl because I meant well and tried to do good things. But once I really started connecting with God, I knew that wasn’t enough. I’ve done many bad things in my past, and I will always be a sinner, but I think I am a good girl now because I start every day with the intention of being a good girl.

  171. I want to be the good girl, but lots of times as the Skillet song says ” I feel like a monster!”. I think of the saying “when I would to do good evil is always present. “. I truly have to crucify the flesh daily. Thank you God for mercy and grace, your grace is sufficient for me. Would love to read this book!

  172. I am a bad girl turned recovering good girl because I thought I needed to make all my mistakes up to Jesus by being Susie Super Christian since being saved. Thank goodness for His Word and for books like Emily’s that remind us that we are enough, just by abiding in Him.

  173. I think I’m somewhere in between. I definitely rebelled against believing in God and did some really silly things in my 20s. Once I found God, I still rebelled but am slowly learning that it’s best to honor His will in my life and things will go a bit better for me.

  174. I’m a bad girl.
    Redeemed once.
    Restored regularly.
    Pharisaic, some.
    Good occasionally.
    Covered, yes.

    • I LOVE THIS, SARAH!

      In grade school and junior high, I was the nearly-straight-A student, who didn’t smoke drink or swear. I did the right things on the outside, but inside what I wanted to do was rebel…rebel against the rules, against the “Miss Priss” image that enshrouded me, against the hypocrisy.

      Your poem says so much!

  175. Emily, I too grew up being a good girl. I too would not stop at that point in my story and reveal some big secret, just at night every night I would ask those same questions. Thank you for finally giving who I grew up as a name. What a great video, I look forward to reading your book as I love your blog. Blessings to you today.

  176. Emily, I grew up being the ultimate good girl. I always aimed to please my family and God most of all. I was the kind of teenager you could leave home alone on weekends, when my parents went out of town, and when they returned, everything would be the exact same way they left it. I was responsible, trustworthy, honest….an overall “good girl.”

    I’m still that good girl. Sure I’ve made some mistakes over the years, but I’m always striving to do the right thing, even if that means having to say I’m sorry. But I’m really glad I’ve been a good girl throughout my life because people trust me and know that my word is my deed. But I have to admit, SOMETIMES, there’s a little wish that I could really speak my mind, but the good girl in me prevails.

  177. Thinking of all the things I could’ve done better in a day… yes. Especially in the way I treated or appreciated my kids. I’m never good enough. I pray God’s grace covers THEM in ways that I cannot.

  178. Wow. I can SO relate to that. Growing up in church, going to Christian school, it was all about being “good”. But I feel like I never do it quite right. Like I’m never good enough. Sounds like a great book.

  179. Miss Emily, I think you articulated perfectly what I have been trying to come to terms with all summer. I am a “good girl”. I have strived for perfection my entire life- I’ve felt there is always something I could improve about myself. The oddest thing I have struggled with as a “good girl” is feeling that my story is not worth sharing because I have had few experiences that would make for an entertaining testimony. As a “good girl”, I’ve often felt pushed aside and forgotten because I don’t have a “powerful” testimony. This, coupled with my innate sense to TRY HARDER has allowed that anxiety and shame to nestle deep in me with a pervading sense of failure. However, God’s been breaking down my anxiety (thanks in part to Ann Voskamps’s 1000 Gifts), though it still threatens to eat me alive sometimes. I know it’s going to be a lifelong process, but I think this good girl is starting to recover πŸ™‚

  180. I’m a recovering good girl as well. I grew up as the teacher’s daughter in a small town, the one who could never make a misstep, could never go to parties, the smarty-pants, the perfectionist. The one who school friends thought was snooty, but was really guarding herself against the next criticism, because she was already beating herself up in her head and just couldn’t handle more. In all fairness, this pushed me to complete my degrees early and to move on to law school and to a life that I love. However, I was so scared of making a mistake, of blowing it, that it took God setting up events in such a way that I completely overloaded and crashed, failing and have to face and re-endure the obstacle. In a way, it was such a relief to finally fail at something big and yet discover that life could go on. So now my life motto – yes, I will do my best and yes, this is important . . . but my gifts could be gone tomorrow, shouldn’t I at least enjoy this today? Just take this moment to stop and breathe.

  181. Oh Emily…. How I need this book! God is working on the area of letting go and letting Him do whatever in His timing and it is hard for me. When my husband tells me how proud he is of me and how he sees me working so hard… I wonder who in the world he sees!! I never feel like I’ve gotten enough done in the day, I only see what I didn’t do and what is left on my to-do list. I hope I win, this is the first giveaway package I’ve seen that each and every item is something I’ve drooled over and that touches me heart with reminders of God’s heart.

  182. Yes, I’m definately a ‘good girl’. I’m constantly thinking things through to the point that even my parents (I’m 22) think it’s a bit much at times. I’m excited to read the book sometime!

  183. I think I would consider myself an aspiring good girl. I want desperately to be more and do more, but never feel I live up to what I should be. I’m always “good” – following rules and being put together on the outside, but deep down feel there is so much I’m not doing. Thank you for sharing this Emily! If I don’t win, I’m going to have to buy your book.

  184. Oh yes.
    Not quite that I’d lay down my head at night worrying but
    the best thing for me to hear was “good girl”! from mommy.
    the friends of mom told me I was “a good daughter”
    my mother in law told me I was “a good daughter-in-law”
    but I know my heart is too often raw.
    I pray every time before the in-laws come that God will give me his love for them.
    Because I know the limitations of my heart
    I know Jesus said to that good boy that no one is good except God alone
    And maybe that was an invitation to affirm Jesus is God?
    So yes, I cling to grace!
    Can’t wait to read your book!

  185. Yes, Im a good girl and Im trying to let go of the ideal to make room for more life and grace for me and my husband and all those close to me. I hold myself to standards and a to do list a mile long, far more than one should be expected to accomplish in one day…perhaps a week would be a more appropriate timeframe…? I’ve done everything right as a good girl should and continue to want to do the right things, but I want to make sure my heart is doing them for the right reasons. Let go of old expectations and reasons and fully embrace the heart of my Lord, knowing that He has a plan and it is perfect, even when I make a mess of things. I want to live a more Grace filled life and I want it to spill out onto everyone around me.

  186. This is me to a T. I have always tried so hard to do everything well, and I am my own worst critic. I learning to be kind and gentle with myself.

  187. I used to but then I went a little crazy in college, made some mistakes. But ultimately it brought me closer to God and helped me understand who I was created to be. Those good girl years are a part of me that I wouldn’t trade but I’m happy to be a more integrated woman now in light of God’s grace.

  188. I have that “I need to be a good girl” mentality sewn deep into my soul. My husband is the opposite, slowly I am learning from him to loosen up a bit.

  189. Yes! I am a recovering good girl! Emily when I first found your blog and watched the video about your book, tears were flowing down my face and my head was nodding up and down. I just kept thinking that is me! I have been waiting (im)patiently for your book to come out! What a great giveaway, i live by those words… By Grace Alone! I am already ordering your book, so if I won would pass on a copy to a friend! Thanks
    , Emily for being faithful and stepping out of your comfort zones!

  190. I am a “good girl” that never thinks that she is doing quite enough in the raising of her children. I could have used more patience, should have stopped to played more, read to them more, keep a more organized home, and the list goes on and on…. As I grow in my faith, I pray that I will someday feel like I am enough…Blessings to you and thank you for the lovely giveaway!

  191. I try to be a “good girl” but I’m just a sinner saved by the beautiful blood of Jesus. I strive to reflect HIS good through my life.

  192. I have never been a good girl. I was always the bad girl who did things the wrong way, the black sheep who traveled the more difficult path, bucked systems & got into trouble. I’ve come to a place where I’m finally okay with who I am, have reconciled my past mistakes, mended fences, & found peace & grace. My sister — now SHE has always been a good girl! She did everything the right way, believed in God with all her heart, & followed the “right” path. She is the perfect picture of the good girl… except that she is so very tired & weary. I’m blessed that I am at a place in life where my difficult experiences have strengthened me to be able to give her my shoulder; in being there for the good girl, I’ve finally become one myself, & it’s such a wonderful feeling!

  193. Yes, I am a good girl. My father was great at always telling me I was ‘a good girl’. I always want people to like me, I don’t want to offend anyone and always think about how I could have done it better. I so relate to what Emily is saying and have been looking forward to this book coming out.

  194. I actually used to think it was just part of being “responsible” to worry and run around in my day making sure every i was dotted and t was crossed. But grace taught me to rest in the gift of salvation and the hope of Christ. So excited for your book!

  195. I think I am in the middle of transforming from a good girl… but I’ve just begun truly examining how to do so with grace. I am so intrigued now by your ideas about grace and the good girl- wow, such an accessible subject for so many. I think you will strike a chord with so many of us who have pieces of that good girl still trapped inside!

    Thank you, love and blessings to you! Can’t wait to read!

  196. Oh my goodness! I just found you by the grace of God (and too much Internet surfing)! You have summed up what I feel to perfectly. I work so hard to make everything look so good … and mostly it is, but sometimes I just need to let it go and break down. The problem is the little things that plague me seem so trivial to the mother who’s lost a son, the mother’s who’s child as a drug addiction, the recovering alcoholic, the friend with cancer. I can’t compete with that … and I don’t want to either, but that doesn’t mean I can be this “good girl” all the time either. {Christina}

    • Isn’t it crazy how we feel bad about our performance and then feel worse because we know that compared to so many others we don’t have anything to complain about. I’m so glad God has been freeing me from that cycle! He’s not asking me to compare myself – just to be faithful to Him.

  197. Yes, I am and sadly work too hard to be a “good girl” all the time. Need to lean on God’s grace more in this area.

  198. A good girl who was really good at hiding anything not so good. A good girl turned “I can’t do this- Hallelujah- He can!” girl.

  199. Oh my…..at first I didn’t “get” the title of “good girl” when I read the blog, but after watching the video it hit my right between the eyes…..I’M A GOOD GIRL! I must read this book! Great giveaway!

  200. Oh, yes. Always been a “good girl” but rarely have felt like a “good enough” girl. : ) But God’s grace is huge and He has taught and healed much in the last years and I strive much less than I used to (I think). But I’m still super looking forward to reading your book! : ) And super thankful for God’s grace.

  201. I’ve been anxious to read this book ever since I read about it on your blog! I’ve had “good-girl syndrome” all my life. I never felt that I’d achieved what I should have in any area, even though I excelled at many things! Nothing was every “enough.” I now call myself a “recovering perfectionist,” and I try to see the good in what I have and what I do, and not focus on the negative. I’m also planning to get a copy for my sister… πŸ™‚

  202. By God’s grace, I am learning to be more like Him, but that is probably not the answer you were looking for. πŸ™‚

    I am not the person to contemplate how folk will view my every move. If we are not talking about clear ‘black and white’ Biblical guidelines, I am going to ‘hear’ the opinions of others, and then I am going to do just what I had intended to do… and I am going to enjoy doing it.

    God’s words matter to me. Others? Not so much. What does that make me?

  203. Yep…I accepted Jesus as my Savior when I was five and have grown up a PK- Pastor’s kid..and there is a LOT of pressure to be the good kid..the good girl…and I found out consistently- I CAN”T BE GOOD ..my righteousness is as filthy rags…stinking, rotten, moldy-filthy rags…in fact, that pressure can push a person to hide and sneak to try to live up to perfection- sooooo unhealthy! BUT, I now know that anything- yes, ANY little thing that is good in me isn’t me at all…it is JESUS!! Blessings! Becky J.

  204. I do- but it hasn’t gotten me very far… need a daily dose of grace and a reminding on WHY I strive…

  205. Yes! I do worry at night about whether I have done everything exactly as I should! I used to have more trouble with this…then it subsided some….then I had kids! Now I worry about my parenting decisions.

  206. I grew up thinking I was a good girl who didn’t need the grace of God because I didn’t do the things that the “bad” kids did. It took me a long time to see that I needed that grace, that there were other bad things besides drugs, alcohol or premarital sex. Selfsihness, impatience, judging others were “hidden” sins. I am thankful for God’s grace and that I can recognize my need of Him. I still seem to cling to my good girl ideas, though, and I don’t often wait until I lay my head on my pillow to think of all the things I could have handled with more patience, grace, gentleness, and selflessness.

  207. just watched your video last night, emily, and thought…i need to read this book. love your idea of the “recovering good girl”. πŸ™‚

  208. I’ve already eagerly ordered my copy, but I have so many friends who want to read this as well! SO excited to read!!!

  209. OH yes! I was the good girl. I rather prided myself on being the good girl, on not making the same mistakes I watched other people make.

    Then God showed up and showed me that I was in need of as much grace as the prodigal. He showed me that I was the elder brother, the pharisee – the one who would have murdered Jesus. I was a slave to my self-righteousness.

    He cleansed me with His righteousness. Now I’m the girl saved by grace; the only good in me is Him.

  210. Interesting ideas…I want to read this book.

    Am I a good girl? I’m sure people perceive me to be, but in my heart I know better. God continues to work on me daily.

  211. Totally a good girl (overly responsible, trustworthy, etc.) but with a deep faith in God. It’s just hard to turn over those reins to Him, unbelievable as that may sound!

  212. I get so wrapped up in being a good girl that I often feel like I fail at everything. Thank God for His goodness!

  213. I would say I consider myself a good girl in the way that I desperately desire others to see me as a “good person.” I would love if that desired changed in my heart that others opinions didn’t matter, and I clung to the fact that I am seen as Jesus as his child!

  214. My husband laughs at my guilt trips – just for jaywalking. I even got the “good girl” award in high school. I married a “rebel” and was rescued from myself by a gracious Father. I am slowly recovering.

    Your blog is an encouragement to read and I look forward to reading your book, Emily.

  215. Off the cuff I think I’m a good girl, but then I do start to think about all of the ways I’ve let myself, my kids, my husband, and my God down today and realize how far short I fall from being “good” in any way. Thank God for his Grace!

  216. Hmmm, I used to consider myself a good girl when I was younger…but then I realized the dynamics of sin in a fallen world, and realized though I do my best to not be a “bad” girl, I am a good girl only because of HIS GRACE! I am so excited and hope to win this book…I’ve struggled with being good for goodness sake, and needing to remember the Lord’s grace is sufficient. Thank you Emily for writing this book!

  217. By the Grace and Mercy of our Almighty God I am a good girl and constantly working on being “gooder” πŸ˜‰

    Congrats Emily and thanks!

  218. Yes, I am already thinking how I should’ve said this instead of that to so and so and it’s only 11 A.M.

    I should act better, be better…. drive myslf crazy. Until Jesus wispers “I love you” .

  219. I remember being introduced to a friend’s boyfriend with this, “This is my friend, Amanda. She is the most good girl I know.” I wasn’t sure what to do with that. Was that a compliment?

    Being good and trying to be perfect is a struggle for me. As in I try too hard to do it! I’m so excited about your book, Emily!

  220. I’m not a good girl. I was through high school; overly envolved with church and all things “spiritual.” I avoided trouble and was the “good child” of the family. However, there was a lot of pain and hidden sin tucked away in that shiny shell. I am not a good girl because Jesus is good for me now. I am finally learning to be an open and honest wife and daughter; I no longer have the insatiable compulsion to be good. I accept Christ’s righteousness as my own and, by his strength, live to honor his gift to me.

  221. I’m a pastor’s wife! We’re always good girls! I am learning to play the drums though, to add an edge to my image. πŸ™‚

  222. You couldn’t have described it any better than you did, and I am absolutely a good girl. It’s a bit sad, but also encouraging to know that I’m not alone in that. My mom and I will both be purchasing your book for our birthdays next month, and we cannot wait. Thank you for putting words to something that so desperately needs to be talked about, and reminding us that there’s so much more for us beyond this good girl cage.

  223. Yes, I have always considered myself a “good girl” – a rule follower who always wants to please. How often I need to remember that God’s love is full and free and flows to me no matter how “good” or “bad” I’ve been.

  224. A good girl? Not really, and its exhausting to try. I want to know why I keep screwing up in the same areas over and over? So yes, I need supernatural Grace, big time! Love your blog (I link it to my facebook all the time) and can’t wait to read your book!

  225. I am a good girl only because of God’s many blessings in my life. If left to my own devices I would be at the very least a truly horrible person and at the most dead. I am underserving of the blessings I have received but very humbled and thankful for them.

  226. Another good girl here. Seems the harder I “try” the further from God I fall.
    Note to self: Breathe in, Breathe out.
    And accept the only perfect gift…God’s grace!

  227. Wow–thanks for the video. I’m not sure I would have “gotten it” until you did that. That’s me . . . and I’m nowhere near recovering. I have so much perfectionism in me, and I am my own worst enemy. From the outside, my life is pretty ideal, with the exception of a deployed husband. But, every day is a battle to forgive myself for the things left undone, the words that should have gone unspoken to my children, ignorance of friends, etc. I’m fascinated now to read your book!

  228. Yes, I am totally a good girl. As I grew up, I think I learned to make sure you looked good and said nice things despite what was in your heart.

  229. I am the good girl. I’ve made myself sick over being the good girl and was so relieved, when all of my “tools” for being perfect were stripped away and I was only left with me and Him all day every day. And I realized He was still there and loved me as I am even when I couldn’t “do” all the things for Him I once did.

    You did great, Emily girl. You’re going to help so many people… more than you can imagine.

  230. I definitely wore the good girl hat and I still feel that I am a recovering good girl.
    Several years ago when I my life blew up, I realized that I didn’t think bad things
    could happen to me because I was a good girl…doing all the right things…very
    faulty theology. So very thankful that being a Christ follower has nothing to do
    with being good but being saved by His grace.

  231. I want to say I’ve gotten over the “good girl” thing…but I haven’t. It’s still there. I do have my nights where I replay conversations and wish I had said this differently or listened more. I still try to make everyone happy at times. I am think I’m on the road to a better place…but at 44…I wonder if I’ll get there this side of eternity! :0)

    Looking forward to your book, Emily!

  232. Generally speaking, yes! And I have since I was young girl. Not perfect, and still growing, but definitely striving to be “good.” I am really looking forward to reading Emily’s book!

  233. Yes! I am guilty of the “harder I try, the better people will think of me.” Working on giving that up and letting Grace stand alone.

  234. I am a “good girl” with flaws! And I thank God each and every day for the grace to accept these flaws.
    Can’t wait to read the book?

  235. Emily, you have completely named my journey! It sounds like this book is going to touch the lives of many church kids! Thank you so much! I cannot wait to get my hands on your book and share it with the other Good Girls in my life!

  236. Yep, I definitely am a good girl. Mentally, I can start to get over it, but then I start to feel lazy when I’m not doing the “try hard” thing. Recovery takes a lifetime, I hear.

  237. Oh yes, definitely, if being “good” means trying to do it all by my own power. And of course, failing, because, well … I’m really powerless. A lesson I keep needing to learn: his grace is enough.

  238. in my own family, i’m seen as the one that pushes the envelope, so it took me to realize that i am, indeed, a good girl. looking forward to reading the book!!

  239. No… well… sort of.
    I’ve always done the right thing – whenever anyone was watching. But in my heart, not so much.
    But I’ve definitely always been the responsible one in the family.

  240. Everyone thinks I’m a good girl. I want everyone to think I’m a good girl. From the outside, they do think I’m a really, really good girl. Oh, would they be surprised if they looked into my soul and saw my sinful, prideful, guilty thoughts. I’m constantly asking forgiveness and running to my Savior to pull my heart away from Satan’s sin and into the His pure love. I want to read this book!

  241. Wow, watching your video today spoke to my heart. I think I really need to read the book now. When you spoke of spending all day trying to be a good girl and then laying in bed and letting the anxiety seep in? That is me. I went through a health scare this spring because I was trying so hard so hard to keep it all together and be a good girl, that finally all my stress and anxiety manifested itself through shortness of breath and tightness in my chest. After a month of tests and doctors appointments, we finally figured it out. I’m still working on how to “turn it all over” instead of carrying the load myself.

  242. Am I a good girl? Well I have been told that. My dad said i was a good girl when I did the things he considered good. I have always been a pleaser even when it was the wrong thing to do. Then I got older and I had a daughter and I realized that what I was taught was not right. That the only one I need to please is the Father.

    So am I a good girl? To the Lord I am good. I sin. I know that. But He still loves me. He still thinks I am a good girl. Somewhere inside me is that good girl. And I hope to make sure my daughter knows that she is a good girl to me and in the Lord.

  243. I seem to always have an attitude of ‘i could do better’ surrounding my thoughts as a wife, mother and daughter and child of God. I am a recovering good girl

  244. Emily admitted to being a recovering good girl…
    I guess I consider myself a “good girl in training”.
    I’m no good, wretched even but one day the approval will come…
    “well done good and faithful servant”.

  245. I am a “good” girl to a fault! So looking forward to reading your book! Emily, your writing is inspiring. You always give words to the lists and craziness in my head.

  246. I am such a “good girl”. I don’t think I realized it until Emily did her series on grace last October, but so much of what she addressed there and in the video above apply to me. I suppose that those who aren’t “good girls” would have a hard time getting it, but even without reading a word of the book, I have learned volumes from Emily already.

  247. It depends on what you consider to be “good”. In a worldly aspect no, i am definitely not a good girl, and in a Godly aspect, still no. But Im working on becoming a little bit more of a “good girl” cause this “rebelling” nonsense is just wearing me out. ; ]

  248. I am a sinner, saved by grace, and renewed with His mercies EVERY morning. I strive to live by His Word in order to fulfill His requirements of being a “good girl.” God Bless!

  249. I’ve always tried so hard to please everyone–my family, my friends, my acquaintances and even God. When I’ve known all along I am included in “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” and we are saved by grace alone. So why do I continue to be “the good girl” and please everyone all the time in everything I do? That is what I’m still trying to figure out. Would love to read this book. Thanks for your work.

  250. Nope – I fail every day. Exactly why my favorite verses of Scripture are: “It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23) I’m so glad that every day we have a fresh start with God, that He loves us regardless, looks on us with compassion and mercy, and is so fully faithful!

  251. I like to think that I am a good girl but I’m sure I have room for improvement. I’m still a work in progress as God is not finished with me yet.

  252. I definitely identify with your message. I’ve always been a good girl for God. I haven’t committed any big societal sins (although of course I am a sinner, and I have my struggle areas). I respect my elders. I work without complaining. I feel obliged to smile at EVERYONE. Inside, it can get exhausting being so nice and kind and decent and good. I can’t wait to read your book and find some grace for myself!

  253. That’s a tough question…

    Good girl in terms of many destructive paths I could have taken but didn’t. I was always active in my youth group – I grew up “doing good” – I was a pretty model daughter to have.

    But at the same time I was not so good – primarily because I was an internal mess and everything “good” was just a character I thought I had to play to really be accepted. You can only live in the absence of grace for so long – and I ended up making some very poor choices in my adolescence (long story really short: my 14-year-old self head over heals for my then 19-yr-old boyfriend…YIKES!) that resulted in a lot of hurt.

  254. I was raised in church, so I suppose by society’s standards, I’ve always been a “good girl.” When I was younger, I used to think that my testimony was boring. But even though I had grown up in the church, I didn’t really consider myself saved until the year I turned 16 and made some real changes in my life. Regardless of who we are and where we’ve come from, we are ALL in need of a loving and grace-giving savior.

  255. It’s interesting that all here, struggle with if they really are good girls. Emily, I think you hit home with many that had no way grow from the “good girl syndrome.” Thanks for ministering to a world of us out here by your writing.

    It’s a hard thing to say, I’m a good girl, in light of grace. Is it a “good girl” thing to say, I’m not a good girl because we all know deep inside of our inner most being we aren’t good? By definition and by society, sure, I’m a good girl…but, Deep in the inner deaths of my soul, I too know i’m never enough. I define my day by lists, by striving actions and yet when I lay my head on my pillow, I know deep down inside, i’m not any better.

    Thank you God for grace!

  256. I kinda do… I’m pretty good at following the “External ” rules, but my heart is all rebellious bad girl. So thankful that it is by grace alone!

  257. After watching the video above, Yes, I would say I’m a good girl and really identify with your message. Thank you for sharing!

  258. I am a recovering codependent and good girl and many other things! It is only through grace that I am any of that. πŸ™‚

  259. Yes, absolutely. I completely relate and just the title of your book speaks so much to me! Reminds me that it is by GRACE that I am saved! Can’t wait to read it.

  260. Do I consider myself a good girl? That is a big question. By whose standards? Society? If so, then yes, they’d consider me a good girl. God? Heck no. I’m ever thankful that I’m saved by grace.

    Thank you for a chance to win.

  261. Have spent most of my life a perfectionist….trying so hard to be good. Trying now to learn that my acceptance is because of Christ who was completely good. Still a work in progress.

  262. When I think of whether I’m a “good girl” my mind always goes back to the story of the prodigal son. Many of the pastors I have listened to list the two roles in the story. The “lead” of the story — the prodigal, and the “secondary” character — the faithful brother. When challenged with which I am, the stray or the one who sticks around but whose heart grows hard, I have to admit, I am often the “faithful (good)” brother. So in that light, I would say, yes, I would consider myself to be a “good” girl

  263. I could write about this one for a long time!!! God has done a lot of work in me to free me from the constant burden of trying to please people and never succeeding. Right now, though, I have just launched both of my kids….yep, I’m suddenly an empty nester, and I lay my head down most nights thinking of how not-good-enough-of-a-mom I was. I worry about what I have not taught them, what I have not modelled for them. And then I pray and turn it back to God again, because I was not enough all the time, I am fatally human. I am learning to accept myself as that, and trust God to walk with my precious young adult kids and teach them what they need to know. Would love to win your book and this great gift pack!! Thanks

  264. I definitely fit the title “good girl”. I practically grew up in a church πŸ™‚ I can’t wait to read your book!

  265. Yes… but only because of… J E S U S … so that is how God sees me!!
    Interesting question considering my own Sunday 8/21/11 post about… “Who Wrote This?”
    I can’t wait to read Emily’s new book! And yes… I do make “To Do Lists” of my “To Do Lists”.

  266. Oh gosh. I used to. They called me goody- two-shoes in middle school. And for a long time I sort of thought I was pretty good and Jesus just made me better. I know different now. But, it’s hard to take what “I know” and make it what “I believe” in the deep places. Sola Gratia…

  267. I was always considered the “good girl” growing up. I probably still am. But I definitely don’t feel that way about myself and tried to prove I wasn’t “perfect Pamela” all through junior high and high school. God is showing me who I am in Him. It is a process!

  268. I am a “good girl”, but don’t always think so or feel like I am. God has been working on me in that I don’t have to work for his love or grace, that I’m good enough just the way He made me. I’m a work in progress…

  269. Yes, I’d fit the good girl definition. And each day I try to let go of the perfectionist tendencies that hold me back from living joyfully. My kids have certainly helped me let go, and I’m thankful for the promise of God in this process.

  270. That is a tough question to answer. I guess to the world’s eyes, I am a good girl. I was born and raised in a Christian family, my father a minister. I never really did anything major, had a couple of rebellious years, typical teenager hijinks, I always considered myself as a “good girl”. But as I grow older, I see that none of us are truly good. All sin is the same in the eyes of God, so that puts my little white lies, on the same level as murder. That is so hard to reconcile in my tiny brain, that God sees the two sins as the same!

    Am I a good girl, yes. But I have far to go.

  271. I don’t know if I consider myself a “good girl,” but think others around me see me that way. I know myself too well to give myself that place in life. . .I love reading your writing Emily, and it seems that the things you say resonate with me so deeply. Thank you!

  272. Good girl? Sure thing. As a Southerner, I was raised to be a good girl. If you weren’t a good girl, then you were a bad girl. Heaven forbid that I become one of those! But being a good girl is exhausting. Praise God, with Him, every day is a new day for me, filled with His new mercies each morning. Otherwise, there would be no reason to get out of bed!

    Keep sharing Emily. Keep encouraging all of us Good Girls. We need to be shepherded into His arms. I am very grateful for your love for Him and how He fills you up. Way to go!

  273. By Emily’s definition, yes. I do consider myself a good girl. But I went a step further: I was a good girl on Sundays and Wednesdays and when “church people” were around, but I was not a good girl the rest of the time. I guess psychologists would say I had multiple personalities – and I guess I did. It is only through His grace that I’ve accepted both my good girl and my bad girl, the reality of my life.

  274. I would say I fall into the “recovering good girl” category. πŸ™‚ With frequent tendencies towards relapse. I’m so excited about your book! Honestly when I first started seeing you write and talk about it I thought “you mean I’m not the only one?”. Can’t wait to read it!

  275. For awhile I thought maybe being a good girl was a bad thing and that I should act more like a teenager or stereotypical college sorority girl but now that I’m 35 and have a daughter of my own, I’m glad I stayed the course.

  276. I’m a recovering good girl who is slowly learning to look to God for His expectations and not at others. And furthermore, I am learning to stop putting my good girl expectations on to others. His grace is more sufficient than we can imagine.

  277. Other people might see me as a “good girl”, but I’ve never been a good girl. But I still see myself and relate to what you were talking about in the video.

  278. I am a good girl and sometimes allow that expectation to wear me down. I am a work in progress…

  279. Oh I try to be but know I fail miserably. I struggle with what the definition of “good” really is…

  280. yes, thank you for writing and speaking about this. i have struggled with perfectionism and being and doing “enough”.

  281. I would say I am a “good girl.” But I am as sinful as can be, realizing that all sin is equal in God’s eyes.

  282. Well I’m a sinner. But I consider myself a “good girl” otherwise. I follow the rules, I treat people the way I want to be treated, I try to please people (too much) etc.

  283. I’d love to think I’m a good girl but honesty I fall short. I praise God for His Grace and Mercy!

  284. I was living as a “good girl” for so long, trying hard to please God and please other Christians around me, that when trials came I collapsed in despair. All of my striving led to nothing, but it was grace that healed me and fanned me into a flame. Now I’m a flame of His light and His righteousness–not my own–and when I make mistakes He sets me on fire again as I rest in Christ. God bless you as you continue writing, Emily, and may His love flow from your book to inspire many, many people.

  285. A tear in my eye as I think of how the “to do” or “not to do” lists have robbed me of the grace that was always mine. Id love if youd read my post yesterday, I wrote it before you posted this. It gives me a confirmation that it is really my reality right now….. learning to give and accept grace and Grace.

  286. YES! I will bend over backwards to follow the rules. I feel physical discomfort when I know I’m breaking a rule (like sitting in the wrong seats at a baseball game).

    It’s exhausing! And not rewarding.

    I also don’t think God calls us to be “good” – not the way that we define it anyways…isn’t that what the Pharisees were? There is so much more power in our life witness and precision of God’s work when we’re just real. Authenticity, without worrying about looking good or looking bad to ourselves or others – I think that’s the secret.
    Please don’t misunderstand and think what I mean is to have liscence to behave every which way. God has called us to be obedient. I just mean that we be real in our daily struggle to live fully surrendered lives.

  287. I try, oh, I try… both to BE a good girl and to BELIEVE I’m a good girl. The only way I can silence (or muffle) the self-criticism is to embrace that God loves me and He is full of grace for us all.
    Can’t wait to read it, Emily ~ seems like it’s been a long time coming, but I know it will be worth the wait. πŸ™‚

  288. Oh, I like to think I’m a good girl… but our precious pastor reminds us often to, “Cheer up, you’re worse than you think!” But also to, “Cheer up, God’s grace is bigger than you think!” I’ve spent too many years fretting over being a good-enough-girl. God is gracious. Oh, how I wish I’d seen this book ten years ago!

  289. Hmmm . . . I think I’m becoming a good girl . . . after many, many years of putting on a tough, self-sufficient facade and a sharp demeanor, I am softening. Becoming more vulnerable and empathetic. More the way I feel like I should be, and definitely more full of grace.

  290. I have to admit that I’ve been the textbook “good girl”–my mom told me my first grade teacher would look at my reaction whenever she disciplined one of my classmates to see if she’d been too harsh. I’ve always taken myself too seriously. Emily’s blog resonates in my soul as I realize it’s never too late to claim a grace-filled life!

  291. I have been so excited for this book to come out! I was a certified “good girl” and perfection seeker but God has been setting me free and showing me how His grace is really the only way to get it all right. Grace is His strength made perfect in my weakness.

  292. a good girl? me?
    it used to be my goal in life. i never wanted anyone to be mad at me, always wanted everyone to like me… shall i go on?! i’m not saying that i have come fully away from that… but i’m trying to not let it make or break me. i cannot wait to read your book!!! (i got a note from amazon saying SHIPPED!)

  293. Yes, I’ve always been a good girl…all growing up…now that I am older I am realizing how I thought I was too good and not aware and dependent on His grace. Thankful the Lord is still teaching me about His grace!

  294. I could have done differently this morning getting my 2 grandchildren ready for school.
    I should have gotten up earlier and had everything more organized, instead it was a mess. God forgive me for my messes!

  295. I’m definitely the stereotypical “good” girl. Grew up in a (wonderful) Christian house hold, accepted Christ at a young age, stayed away from boys until I met my husband, and now we both spend a majority of our time in ministry.

    Every time I make a list of all the “good” I’ve done, though, I’m reminded of Paul when he made his boasts (and, boy, do his boasts outdo mine!). At the end of all his incredible boastings about all the good he has done, he declares them all to be rubbish “in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ,” AMEN TO THAT!

  296. Good girl? Oh yes. That was repeatedly drilled into my head growing up. Some said it positively: I was such a good girl. Other said it negatively: Why did I have to be so goody-goody? It’s hard to let go of that and trust God’s grace to make me good.

  297. Oh I’m pretty sure I qualify for the ‘good girl’ category…yeah, actually I know I do and to those on the outside looking in, they think I am. However, I know better, I know I am not so good… I have those same feelings of how I coulda, shoulda, would done it better when I reflect back on my day. I seriously cannot wait to read this book!

  298. I can’t wait to read this…I know exactly what she means when she says “recovering good girl.” I have a strong belief that the “I’m fine, how are you” is exactly what Satan uses to bring us deeply into weakness we don’t think is possible because we are so busy being “good.”

  299. Do I go over my days and think how I could have done them better? Not all the time, but certainly if I’ve done something wrong, I’ll go over the situation in my mind and see why it might have happened, to try to avoid the same thing happening again.

  300. Before the gospel became real in my life , I was what society would consider a “good girl”. I am currently 23 and I always lived life trying to avoid mistakes or failures. I saw a lot of my family members fall into the traps that Satan placed for them, and I witness the destruction of their lives. I said I would never follow some of their footsteps and I was determined to find my own identity. The most important person in my life growing up was my grandmother, I admired the strength God gave her to raise me and my sister after raising eight of her own! She went through so many struggles and this motivated me to always stay focus and not do anything that was considered bad. I have always been very independent and while people my age were going out with boys, partying, and experimenting with other things, I decided to push myself through school. People began to label me as the good girl . They always would tell me ” In a few years I see you in Africa helping the less fortunate”. Indeed I started to believe this, that my purpose in life was to be a good person/ girl , I started thinking this was my identity. How quickly God woke me up from that lie when I heard what God did on the cross for me and the world , it got me thinking of everything I have ever considered good. I realized that nothing in this world including me is even close to good. God sees our heart and no matter how good we think we are the Holy Spirit always allows us to see how short we fall from that. I can say that people always get me confused with being a good girl, but I know my reality! The only thing good about me is that day after day I’m learning more about God’s grace and how I don’t deserve it! I am glad that I am free from the bondage of trying to be perfect, and by his love and mercy I was able to find my identity in him. πŸ™‚

  301. It’s so nice to actually hear the thoughts I have all the time verbalized by someone else. Sometimes I feel like I don’t have the right to feel that way since I don’t have a secret addiction or a rough past, but I think that makes it harder sometimes. I can’t wait to read this book!

  302. I guess I am a good girl – or I fool myself into thinking I am. Which just means I put on a veneer on my mess and try to put rules on grace.

    Rach from NI

  303. I’ve always been the “good girl” in my family. But I’ve done nothing noteworthy to earn that title. Which is probably why I’m considered the “good girl”. I completely resonate with what Emily has said about her book – and why she wrote it. She could be writing about me instead of herself!

  304. Am I a “good girl” … absolutely. But definately not good and at my age I may hardly a girl anymore. Looks like a great message…can’t wait to read the book.

  305. Yes…I have been a self proclaimed “good girl” trying to be good enough for friends, family, work, me and God. I am a work in progress, but I am learning that being a perfectionist has held me in bondage to the “never being good enough” and that mask I have worn for fear others won’t like the real me. After many years..it is now moving from my head and sinking deeper into my heart that God’s grace is sufficient and that I am loved for “me” and that I seek the approval of just one…our precious Lord.

  306. Yes, I am a good girl, at least that’s what I ‘ve always been told, and it is exhausting!

  307. I think others would view me as a “good girl”, but I know my heart. We all need God’s grace daily, and I’m thankful that He has shown me His love and grace.

  308. No! I try to be the wife, mom, daughter, and student God would want me to be. I fail all the time. I get hurt and offended by others as well. I ask those I offend or hurt for forgiveness and try to teach our children we all fall and we all will fail over and over. But when you fail and fall the real lesson is what you decide to do next. The choice is yours.

  309. Oh my, yes! The “good girl” who never really rebelled, never did any of the “bad” things, and yet still has a hard time realizing that God takes pleasure, takes joy even, in me.

    Can’t wait to read it!

  310. I’m a pre-emptive good girl. I think in advance of all the ways that something has to be perfect, and decide that I can’t be perfect. This means that I never try. Now that I’m home with my first child God has been really tugging on my heart saying, “Of course you can’t be perfect when you are always trying on your own. For apart from me you can do nothing. (Jn 15:5). Let’s work on something together.”

  311. I’m the girl who fears failure more than anything. Yet, no matter how hard I try, it seems that I always fall short of the mark. I spend so many hours second-guessing myself and going over everything that I could have done differently. I’m the one who asks through the tears of frustration, “Why can’t I just get everything right?”

  312. Oh.My.Stars. the vast majority of these comments are hitting {too} close to my heart. i am choking on the feelings that are threatening to overwhelm me. i so need the message your book has. i want to be a recovering good girl because being a good girl is suffocating me as the years go on. Blessings!

  313. I do consider myself to be a good girl. I don’t lay down at night and feel like a failure – but I’m always trying to be a better “me.” I’m always trying to please and I’ve never really rebelled or deviated off of the “good christian” life. Not since age 5. That being said, I consider myself on the path to being somewhat reformed also. I’m trying to give myself grace and freedom to be flawed and imperfect and not feel horrible about that. I’m learning to be more and more comfortable in my own skin when I feel the need to say “no” or “I can’t” or even “I don’t agree.” And it feels great.

  314. I do consider myself a “good girl” and so do most people who meet me. I’ve been recovering for a while and will until I go Home. I know I’m recovering because my dear friend of about 2 years told me I was not what I seemed on the outside. I really wasn’t a “goody goody” – code words for “good girl” I suppose.

  315. As much as I try to be a good girl I know I sin everyday. I lose patience with my kids, curse under my breath in traffic, and that’s just the beginning of the list. I am so thankful for God’s grace and his unconditional love because even when I am not a “good girl” he still loves me.

  316. Well Biblically speaking I would have to say no, based on what Romans & Psalms have to say, ‘there is none good, no not one’. But in this case, I don’t believe it’s wrong to say that … I am a good girl, by ‘goody two-shoes standards, yes. lol

    His grace is sufficient and it’s because of Him alone that I am a ‘good girlie girl’.

  317. I think I was born a good girl. My husband was a rule-breaker; I was terrified of even mild disapproval. I battle perfectionism on a minute-by-minute basis. I’m slowly learning to let go of my fears of not being good enough and open myself up to risk and *gasp* not doing things perfectly or making everyone around me happy. I can’t wait to read your book!

  318. I have always held the bar up so high for myself. I tried to be “perfect”. Emily, your blog has been showing me that it’s ok if I’m not perfect. God is good with that. He always has been good with that. I’m the one that needs this lesson. This summer I am learning to open my heart to forgiveness for past hurts. It’s not always easy to face that. To even admit that I was hurt or to understand the role I played that led up to that hurt. So, this has been a different way for me. But a ton of weight feels like it evaporates once I learn the grace that you speak of. I have you to thank for the lighter weight that I have become!

  319. I totally relate to what you said in the video. Although I have long tried my best to be a good or even “perfect” girl, wife, mother, I find myself laying my head on the pillow at night with anxiety, regret and fear that I am a failure.

    Would love to win this contest and can’t wait to read the book!

  320. Yes, I’m a good girl. Never as good as I want to be though.
    I think it has to do with growing up feeling like I was never good enough. I work overtime to be good.

  321. I would like to meet the person who hasn’t felt this way before. I think I feel this way most nights and I would love freedom from this waste of time.

  322. It feels as though this blog series may have been sent for me, as I have had these very same feelings, recently, with my desire to follow all the rules, trying to do what Jesus would do, be a “good” Christian. I know I’m saved by grace, so I’m constantly asking myself how I “do” that; say a salvation prayer– check, then what? And yes, growing up in the faith, I can relate to never knowing what it means to NOT believe in Jesus, I’ve often said, “I don’t have a testimony!” There’s nothing interesting to share here. So, long story short, I am just the type of Good Girl to whom your book refers– notice the pretty grammar? ; )

  323. Hi ,
    I just saw your clip in youtube and I can identity with you! I am missionary serving in Brazil for the past 16 years and so always have to be a good example to those around me . However, this month, a friend gave me a book called a thousand gifts by Ann Voskamp and I am begining to relearn what it means to truly understand grace , to let it govern my life and the Lord is beginning a new work in me – learning to my life the fullest daily regardless. Lorinda

  324. Good girl turned bad girl. Basically gave God lots to work with in the refining of my heart and life. So thankful He takes on big jobs.

  325. Guess I’m the proverbial ‘good girl’. Never went out in the world, the typical pastors wife……

  326. The only thing good in me is Jesus….so I hope people see His love for them shine through my words and actions.

    Blessings!

  327. absolutely. I saw this book when you all first started talking about it and thought, WOW! I have to get it!

  328. When I was a little girl , I attended my dads evangelistic meetings each night . I knew what was expected of me . To sit on the front pew, no whispering, no squirming . At the end of the meeting each night, I always asked my dad the all important question.”Was I good ?? ” To hear my dad say, “Yes, you were very good “, was music to my young ears. Now what I long to hear is my Heavenly Fathers voice say to me someday, “”Well done , my good and faithful servant … ” And its all His grace .

  329. I don’t know that I consider myself a good girl, because I am human and sin like all humans. On the other hand I don’t consider myself a “bad girl” either. I do try to be “good” and do as God would wants me to do.

  330. I wore the “good girl” external identity for years. It’s still hard to keep that face pulled off or her voice quiet in my mind.

  331. Wow, look at all these amazing “good girls” coming out and speaking up. Emily, thank you for giving “us” a safe place and the gift of going second. I spent years of my life becoming what I thought everyone else needed me to be. Wasn’t that unselfish, wouldn’t that be what Jesus would want me to do? I was so busy morphing and spinning so many plates and personalities that I completely lost who he created me to be. This grace He’s always offered, that I now receive has broken those chains, removed those masks, and given me victory to be free and simply be the me He created. Life can actually function in this capacity, love can be free to flow. Thanks for starting this conversation!

  332. I think most would say I was a good girl, but the truth is I’m far from a good girl and that’s why I have a big God whose grace covers me.

  333. I have always tried to be a good girl, and even though I have made mistakes I think I am. I have been forgiven!

  334. The fact that I’m trying to figure out the “right” way to even answer this question means that yes, I pretty much am! Not that I ever live up to my own standards, the ones I think God also has for me…but as a synonym for Goody Two Shoes, most definitely.

    SO excited to read this book!

  335. Hi Emily,
    Please don’t enter me in your giveaway b/c I already have it on pre-order from Amazon and can’t WAIT to kick everyone out of my way for uninterrupted time to read and digest it in one sitting! How’s THAT for being a BAD girl!!? Growing up, nemisis Randy Perlmutter et al always called me the “Brown Noser”. Yep, I def have the big Italian nose, so whatever. Inside, not-so much. Love you and am SOOO proud of you, girl!

  336. Yes. yes. yes. That is me. Always trying to figure what is best to do, at what time and when and how and why…. I can drive myself crazy (and my husband). I’ve come a long way but a long way to go. Holding on to the grace that is given to me freely!

  337. Sadly, I am the classic “good girl”. Striving to b who and what I’m not instead of allowing a God of grace to help me be who He created me to be. I really need to read this book and appreciate all the comments. At least I’m not alone in being “good”!

  338. I am most certainly a “good girl” but saved by grace. I have always tried to please God and my parents and do everything to be “good”. I have certainly made mistakes in life and many times wish I could go back in time and change how or what I did, but I can’t. I am so looking forward to Emily’s book coming out.

  339. Am I a good girl? I try really hard to be, but being human (a sinner and imperfect!), I fall short often. Thank you for the giveaway!

  340. I don’t know if other people see me as such but that’s how I grew up. Toeing the line! I’ve had my share of mistakes but I’d imagine a lot of people still see me that way.

  341. With maturity comes the realization that if you haven’t done everything perfectly up until now, you probably won’t ever do everything perfectly. But the tendencies are still there. I continue to place unrealistic expectations on myself and others, and am frustrated when we don’t measure up to my expectations.

    I have already ordered your book and look forward to reading it and recommending it to others. I would love to have a signed copy. Thank you Emily for the book. I pray you help a lot of good girls.

  342. I don’t know. I am always trying to make everyone happy and that isn’t the right avenue always. I gossip when I shouldn’t, if there is ever a good time. But do not wish ill on those that have done wrong. I believe that the table will turn. I may not see it but there is justice. So, I am not sure if I could call myself a good girl.

  343. I try to be a good girl but I have failed badly. My own high standards keep getting in the way. But that is why we all need God to give us grace! I would love to read this wonderful book. Thanks

  344. It seems most of us as Christians try to wear that “mask” of being a “good girl” in front of others to make them think we are just fine and have it all under control. Only to fall flat on our faces at the end of the day knowing the truth deep down inside. This sounds like a great book that I would benefit from reading.

  345. I suppose I do consider myself a ‘good girl’ and honestly I am miserable in that statement. So lost have I become since my husband died, so unable to find myself!

  346. Definitely. I don’t even have words to explain.. but I hear you. I consider myself to be “recovering,” too. I’m not there yet, but my debt has already been paid! πŸ™‚ Your posts couldn’t have been timed more perfectly for me, and I’m SO thankful! This is something the Lord has been speaking to me, before I even heard about your book. I don’t know what else to say, but that GOD IS SO GOOD!!! Thanks for being a willing vessel!

  347. Emily, I could so relate to everything you said in your video clip (which was great by the way!) πŸ™‚ I was also saved from a very young age, raised in a Christian home, in church every Sunday/Wednesday. While I am very aware of my imperfections, I was always one of the “good girls”. Like you, I don’t have some crazy testimony to give, but I struggle so much with perfectionism, fear of failure, and some of the anxiety that you mentioned. I am SO intrigued and excited to read your book!! πŸ™‚

  348. being a “good girl” is a huge part of my story– i grew up with that title, but since coming to follow christ, every day i become more and more aware of my depravity! darn sanctification… πŸ˜‰

  349. I am transforming away from the overachieving stigma of constantly obtaining ‘good girl’ status. So am I one? Yes and no. Yes, it’s ‘good girl’ is an automated state of mind, but no, I have realized how tired I am of playing this game and am working on it.

  350. Yes I am the classis “good girl” ya know the one who always aims to please, who prides herself on being the one everyone likes, the one everyone can count on, the encourager. And those are all good qualities but I often fail to allow God’s grace to fill me and lift me up in thsoe moments I’m struggling to be the good girl. I often wallow in guilt and feeling sof inadequacy when i can’t be the good girl BUT God is faithful and He always, one way or another, reminds me that I mustn’t try to be good on my own strength and it’s even through my weaknesses that He is made strong. Can’t wait to read the book!

  351. I am a good girl who is the daughter of a good girl. At the end of the day, both my mom and I have the unfortunate habit of looking around and only seeing what we didn’t do or what we didn’t complete, or what we think we should have done better. We know it doesn’t make sense, we know there’s something awry with that thinking, and our families have always done their best to counteract our ungracious way of looking at our own accomplishments, and it’s still a battle. So looking forward to Emily’s book–I love her!!

  352. I struggle with it every day. I try, and fail, and try again. Maybe someday I will come closer to getting it right.

  353. Am I a good girl? My first instinct (the negative, down-playing inner voice) says no. My second instinct (the voice that comes from the positive thinking inner place) says yes. Everyday is a struggle to be good. Yes, I often miss the mark.

    Thankfully, God’s love isn’t conditional on my own goodness.

    Congrats on the book πŸ™‚

  354. I have been the “good girl” for a long time, but under the front is a lost girl, who is falling apart inside. My false front hides a crumbling shambles.

    I am a failure at so many things–I don’t pray enough. I have a hard time finding my Bible most of the time, and I struggle with a HUGE depression monster, who wants to eat me alive.

  355. I always thought so but do believe I have the tendency to question if my version of good is good enough….lots of food for thought

  356. I do. And it is like a chain that holds me back. Grace frees me from that chain, but I find myself going back to its familiar discomfort over and over again.

  357. I think when I was a child and a teen, I was a good girl, to avoid the problems that came with causing troubles. I came from a pretty dysfunctional family. I got saved as a teen, went to Bible college, got married, and was a ‘good girl’. It was after being married for 29 yrs, loosing my husband to cancer, and trusting God for ALL things, that I got over feeling I need to be a good girl. I just am what I am, by the grace of GOD!

  358. I do consider myself a good girl. I don’t have a Big Dramatic Testimony either, although I wasn’t saved at birth. But I know exactly what Emily is talking about. I’m looking forward to getting this book and seeing what God has for me as I go through it.

  359. I know I am not as bad as I use to be I am getting a little better at being a good girl the more I stay in gods word and with all of you wonderful women I will keep getting better at being a good girl

  360. I know I try to be a good girl. It’s hard not to be bad sometimes, especially when I am tired and my nerves are frayed at the edges. I try my best to be kind, for as the quote says, “everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” I know it is true for me. Every day I struggle with who I am, with my disabilities, and who I could have been, if only. I love listening to others talk, and I could listen until the cows come home, and you won’t get any judgment from me. So my answer to your question is that I am opening up to tomorrow’s possibilities and letting God direct me to where he wants me to me. I am opening myself up to His possibilities, instead of creating my own and making a mess of things.

  361. Yes. The part that spoke most to me in your video was: in spite of doing all of those things right, I looked around and saw failure everwhere I looked. Sounds like me.

  362. Do I consider myself a good girl? Yes, maybe a little, but no. Sometimes, I just feel like I fall short…a lot. But I also try to remind myself that we all fall short and that it’s by God and His grace alone that I am able to stand. I’m still a “work-in-progress” I guess.

  363. Growing up I tried to be a good girl to stay out of trouble with my Mom…….my sister always called me Goody Two Shoes………showed them,,,,,, I got pregnant and married at 17. I did not know until much later that it didn’t matter how “good” I was……in God’s eyes I was seen as filthy rags until cleansed by the blood of Jesus. Now that I am Christian and a child of God I am still not good……..Jesus was the only good person. I am a sinner washed by His blood and I use the gifts that He has given me to do good things. Thanks for the opportunity to win.
    Brenda

  364. Yes…or at least I thought so for many years. Still learning how much I’m not and how much I need God’s grace and forgiveness.

  365. I think I was a good girl and then things changed and I am very ashamed of my self and I am working hard to change my thought patern and listen to Gods promises. I wish in my past I had been perfect and lived the way God wanted me to. I failed him but he never seems to fail me even in my worst moments.

  366. Too many missteps in my past for me to consider myself a “good girl.” I could never measure up then, so after a while I just stopped trying to fit that mold. So thankful for grace!

  367. Yes, and ever since receiving your announcement about your book, I’ve really thought about it. As in why is it so bad to me to know that someone left our church and didn’t say nice things to my dad (the pastor) while leaving? Why was he nice to my face and actually didn’t care for me? I know this isn’t related at all but it’s really made me think what my motivation is for anything and everything I do in life. I’d love to read your book!

  368. I can certainly relate tot he video. Laying down at night and thinking through the day and all of the things that I could have done beter. I could have done them better for me for my family or for God. Then one day as I was studying about why God loves me, it finally hit me. I on’t have to be anyone except who God called me to be. I don’t have to please anyone except my loving gracious savior. I can turn all of those worries over to HIm. All of the anxiety and insecurity that I feel, He wants to handle for me.
    I too grew up going to church every week. I made some mistakes along the way just like everyone else, but He still loves me. It does end up being a situation where we really do put a mask on and don’t show the real you inside that’s hurting and in need of healing. Just as Emily said, we get caught in the ‘oh, hi, I’m just fine and how are you doing’ mode because we think that is what we are supposed to do. The fact is that we should be doing the opposite. God gave us each other fellow christians, to share one anothers burdens, we just fail to do it. We fail to allow our Savior to do what He so longs to do, to shower us with His never ending grace. I’ve actually started to become more transparent with some of the ladis at church and it is a wonderful feeling. It’still a daily struggle for me but God tells us that His grace is sufficient, we need to trust Him.

  369. Yes, I am a good girl. I’m just discovering and learning that I don’t have to be perfect, I don’t have to be good, and I don’t have to compare to all the “godly” woman in church who seem to have it all together better than I do. I’m slowly learning that by God’s grace and love, my worth, and my esteem should be measured through His eyes.

  370. Yes, yes, I have spent most of my life trying, trying, trying, and always having that anxous, sinking feeling that things are just “not right” and afraid to be exposed for not really being what I was trying to pretend to be. But leaning into God’s wonderful Grace and Love has helped so much as I have gotten older, to let go and be and enjoy each day…………. still a struggle at times………..

    karen:)

  371. Oh, yes, I’m a good girl. Learning every day to lay that girl down and live. Really, truly live. Can’t wait to read your book, Emily.

  372. I am a good girl. I am learning as I get older that everything is not in my control and may not turn out to be perfect. I am learning it’s ok to ave a day where nothing gets done. I am learning to enjoy life and really embrace my faith.

  373. by the grace of God, i’m a recovering good girl. yes, there are still days when I struggle, but i’ve never felt more free than when i finally admitted that “I can never be enough!” I practically felt God smiling and saying, “You were never supposed to be.”

    can’t wait to read this:)

  374. a mental walk through my day~ yes! so totally me.

    the only check list i seem good at keeping is the running list in my mind of all i was supposed to do, and didn’t, or couldn’t, or didn’t do just right…

    looking forward to embracing more of His grace through the words He put on your heart to share in this book~

    love, amber

  375. I am definitely a good girl still struggling daily to remember the story is not about me and my abilities but God and the value I have in Him. I am excited to read this book! I’m also looking forward to helping guide my good girl in the making towards God’s truth (she obviously inherited something from me).

  376. I used too… but that was before I realized how desperately needy for grace I really am. How broken I am. How much I’ve been grace-starved and how much I need grace extended towards, need to learn to give towards others. I want to think of myself as a good girl, but I just can’t…

  377. Wow, I struggle with this ay, every night I replay all my “mistakes”.
    I have been praying for freedom. I pray I win a copy of the book!!
    Thank you for sharing “your story”. Thank you Lord!!!

  378. I often feel like on the outside I look like a “good girl” but on the inside I’m a terrible mess.

  379. Feeling like a mess tonight too. So thankful for God’s grace that how I feel does not affect how He feels about me.

  380. I know in the ‘conservative’ mindset I am not a good girl. But I try every day to live my life to the best of my abilities and know God (and the Girl Guide promise!) is cool with that. That’s why I’m a good girl in my eyes and only a ‘bad girl’ when I haven’t done my best.

  381. TOTALLY! I have always been “the good girl”! My best friend growing up would even call me “her conscience.” The first time I heard the clip above and “read” you talking about being “the good girl”, I truly cried…and I just don’t do that to every blog/post.

    Thank you! I look forward to read your book!

  382. As a young child I was labeled the “good girl” the one who did what was “right”or at least was expected to. This was a heavy title to bear and led me to feel I needed to hide who I really am (a sinner in desperate need of a wonderful Saviour). I have struggled between striving to please man and living free in the transforming grace and mercy of my Saviour Jesus Christ for most of my life. It is a battle to believe that I am accepted by God in Christ when I experience rejection from human relationships because I didn’t meet their standards. I have to preach the gospel to myself everyday….I am saved by grace, through faith in Jesus Christ alone according to the scriptures. I am His and therefore I can rest. No more striving!

  383. Are there two questions? I absolutely have a mental review of what I could/should have done differently at the end of the day.
    Good: subjective, and highly charged word. I try to behave as God would want (as outlined in Scripture), fail miserably, then try again. πŸ™‚

  384. I feel like I’ve always been that way and have just recently begun to see that life could be different. Looking forward to this book.

  385. I try so hard to be a good girl. I am bad sometimes. I slip up and say bad words and cry and feel so bad. I scream and cry because I know in my heart I should not scream. I wish for an easier life when I know I should be happy for what I have. So good girl or bad girl, how about I am normal. Good and bad , trying to get better everyday!
    I love the blog. Thank you!

  386. I am a huge Worrier! I am usually awake most night worring about things that I have no control over, but to answer your question..Yes I am a good girl..yes I am a bad girl…
    Only God knows πŸ™‚

  387. I have tried being the good girl, but it just gets harder & harder…and the harder I try, the worse I am at it on my own…Whew, thank goodness for grace & the power of the Holy Spirit!
    That Lisa Leonard “by grace alone” necklace is amazing!
    What a wonderful giveaway, thanks!!

  388. Going to my church’s collegiate group tonight (the same home church I’ve grown up in and accepted Christ as Savior in at age 5) I pulled the whole, “I’m fine! How are you???”. I write to-do lists every day and even put things on there that I know will be easy to cross off simply for the joy of crossing them off. Graduate school for being a licensed clinical counselor started this week and I am NOT fine. I’m scared of failure, though I graduated both high school and undergrad with 4.0 GPAs. I believe this is book is a God-send. He has been speaking “rest” into my life for quite some time now. Thank you for sharing your experiences so genuinely!.

  389. I never go to bed at night with rest that I have accomplished anything perfectly. I lie there and play the old “would have”, “should have”, “could have” game. I battle guilt and shame daily. My best never seems to be good enough. It’s hard for me to consider myself a good girl, because I don’t always see myself as good.

  390. (Sorry, i’m not sure if my comment went through. I tried earlier today on my phone and it was taking a long time so I closed it.)

    Am I a good girl? I would have said Yes when I was in high school. But when you measure yourself against the Lord it’s hard to say YES anymore to that question.

  391. I didn’t grow up a good girl, I grew up a bad girl so when I finally met Jesus and allowed him to finally be a part of my life, I ONLY let him be a part of it. For the rest of it I struggled to be “good”. I tried to learn the right things to say at church, how to be the good wife, the good mother, the good friend. At the end of the day I felt exhausted, empty, and like I was still not getting the whole Christian thing right. While I am improving, and I am learning that Jesus doesn’t want good behaviour as much as he wants my heart. Yes, I am a recovering good girl as well.

  392. There’s nothing perfect about the skin I’m in…inside or outside…Finely at the age of 59 (most of the time) I’m comfortable with who I am….We are our own worst enemy..I have found that I don’t fit in with everyone else because the Lord did not create me that way. Amen and AMEN!! Because I know I am β€œFearfully and wonderfully made.” (According to Psalm 139). And I’m sticking to it..

  393. I have always been a “good girl” and have done everything right, however, I think that makes it much harder to appreciate the gift of Jesus. It seems I’m “good” on my own, but that’s not reality.

  394. Growing up, I was seen by my family as “the rebellious one”, even though in the eyes of my friend I was still a goody two-shoes. I’d go out to a bar with my friends on Saturday, but I’d stop at one or two beers and never tried drugs and I’d be at church the next morning. I sort of felt that I navigated everyone’s (friends’ and families’) expectations fairly successfully and tried to be true to myself and what I believed God asked from me. He did ask me to change some of my behavior and I did, but it was from a deep knowledge of his love for me and not a sense of condemnation.
    Yet, over the last 20 years and now that I’m nearing my thirties, I feel that I’ve become a lot more aware of certain expectations of what a christian woman should be like and I go back and forth between trying to measure up to this idea and not trying, which also leaves me dissatisfied. So, I definitely am also in need of hearing your message, Emily.

  395. Oh..I am in my 50’s and still trying to be “A Good Girl” that is the description…or perhaps “A Nice Girl”….The Shame has become so much a part of me that I can’t seem to enjoy life…Chased by the words “Less Than” or “Not Quite Good Enough”…I can never relax…and rest… I’m even ashamed because others have hard lives and they have a right to complain or feel bad…but I don’t even feel I have a right to grieve. Yes, “Shame” I want to be rid of that attachment… I want to be free to be….me.

  396. I can so relate to this video! I have lived with the shame of failure all my life. And I want to instead be consumed by the grace of God!

  397. I try to think of myself as a good girl but I don’t always succeed. I’m a busy working Mom to two active kids. The mommy guilt sometimes gets the best of me but I continue to work at it. Thank you for the chance to win such an awesome gift!

  398. Wow! That’s me–I am constantly feeling like I’ve “missed something” or even wake up with great anxiety, feeling like I’ve failed at something–and I don’t even know what it is πŸ™ I mean how could I fail already when the day hasn’t even started? I really want to let go of trying and really live. Watching the video–I just hung on every word you said, thinking to myself…I am not alone–and wondering what my life could look like for me if I could just accept that grace…

  399. I have never really called myself a good or bad girl – just the invisible girl that longs to please and seeks acceptance. Learning that no one person can give you what only God can. Each day I pray for that new grace!

  400. I am a good girl that has always struggled with that label. Oh, how I look forward to reading this book.

  401. I’ve always tried to uphold the image of a good girl while inside I was hiding a broken and bruised girl too ashamed to let people know that I wasn’t as good as I tried to show everyone I was. Can’t wait to read your book!

  402. While I don’t feel that I’m a “bad girl”, I definitely want to be a better girl. I feel I have fallen short many times in the past, but with each new day I strive to be a better person, thank GOD for each new day that I have the opportunity to do so! Can’t wait to read your book!

  403. I grew up thinking I was always the “good girl,” following the rules & not getting into big trouble. But I still never felt good enough. Can’t wait to read this book & continue to redefine what it means to be a “good girl”

  404. I’ve tried so hard to be a good girl. I am such a perfectionist, and when I don’t do it perfectly, then I beat myself up. I can’t wait to read this book because I know God has so many better things in store for me than just living as a perfectionist in my own strength.

  405. I’m a recovering good-girl. I have perfectionist tendencies and I struggle with relinquishing control, but He is continuing that Good Work He started in me. I so badly want people to like me and to have a good reputation, but often, I am so caught up in that, I miss out on what He’s trying to teach me. I desperately want to simply be – His girl. Not a “good girl,” not a “rebel girl,” – simply His.

  406. Yep…I am the good girl who beats myself up because I could have done better. It is exhausting to beat yourself up with regret instead of looking at life as risks with wins and loses that both make you stronger. I believe this is an ongoing battle- fighting with comparisons and what ifs. This books sounds great- would love to get my ands on one of them!!

  407. I could so relate to what you were saying. Everybody has always seen me as a good girl. I find myself overwhelmed sometimes with the expectations I feel that are upon myself and can only find true peace in the middle of prayer or worship to God as He is able to give me true peace and a place of rest.

    Bleassings

  408. I am oh-so-the-good-girl. Always trying to solve the world’s problems and, consequently, ignoring my own. My soul is weary. And I know where to find rest, but I’m having a hard time getting there.

  409. I feel like I have always been the good girl. It pains me to break any kind of rule. I would love to win this giveaway!

  410. I definitely consider myself a good girl. I’ve been wishing for this book, as I think I’m too hard on myself sometimes. Thanks for the chance!

  411. I am an exhausted good girl needing to enter a recovery program! Thanks so much for your blog and writting this book.

  412. Oh Yes – definitely! It’s something I’ve always been – always wanting to be perfect and laying in bed kicking myself (mentally πŸ™‚ ) over the things I’ve done wrong.

  413. UGGHHHH!!!! Yes in so many ways. I’m a recovering yes person and people pleaser. Some of the best advice someone’s ever given me is- God’s more concerned about your being rather than your doing. I hear those word ring in my head everyday and several times throughout the day. I’m constantly reminding myself of the wonderful and mysterious grace that comes from a loving Father. I CANNOT wait to read your book Emily, and I’m sure having deep, ugly and healing sobs through out each chapter. You go girl!! Or should I say good girl!?! πŸ™‚

  414. Yes! It’s only just now that I realize there’s a little bit more to life, a life lived fully for Christ.

  415. Some thoughts that I’ve been meditating on still haunt me even now that I became dependent on God; for the most part. I often ask myself what have I accomplished in this life for the Kingdom of God. As I look in the previous years at my life, it seems like I want to go back and re-live my life without any mistakes. I had a learning disability in grade school that has not been completely discovered, and now that I’m learning more about myself I wish I could fix things up, but it’s kind of too late.
    I’m the kind of person that loves problem solving. Wherever there’s a problem I will always try my best to find an appropriate solution . And in most cases I succeed. What’s really discouraging to me is something that I just recently realized: that I never even attempted to look over my life. I try to just sweep problems under the rug and forget about them, thinking they’ll go away. But sooner than I think, same worries came up and I know that I can’t ignore them. I’m supposed to ask God for help. That’s why He’s there in the first place is He not?
    I’m slowly in the process of developing a stable communicating relationship with him, and I’m learning to let some things go. If people ask me what I’m going to college for…….I really don’t know. I try to make it seem like I do, but I really don’t . I gave up a while ago because of different people in my life that have put me down. Since I have a low self confidence, I give in to the thoughts that the devil inserts in my head. I do need some help into building a stronger mentality as into who God designed me to become and what I need to do to get there.

  416. Emili,
    Just so anxious to read your book and I love your writing!!! I stuggle continually with trying to be perfect and fulfill all the needs I see around me. Sometimes I feel like I’m am trying to be a savior when I need a Savior. I lie awake feeling like I am failing someone in my life most every night. I do not see these kinds of stuggles in most of my friends and wonder what is wrong with me. I feel so responsible for everything and have always related more to Martha than Mary. So proud of you and this great accomplishment in your life.

  417. I’m a good girl by the world’s standards, but I’m not necessarily a good girl by God’s standards. I have so much further to grow.

  418. I struggle to be a “good girl” just about everyday! I know what I need to do, but don’t always “feel” like it, then feel guilty for not doing what I should!! On and on it goes!

  419. Yes, a good girl. Rejection has always hurt, it was done to me so many times by family, teachers, classmates and some friends. I do try to do well as a wife and mom, and friend, and I know that many a time I do not voice my thoughts, even if necessary, because someone will put me down, or at least I think they will. The freedom found in Jesus has been freeing, but the ‘old man’ creeps in when I least expected and I find myself responding as I did before.

  420. I am a good girl. I am a people pleaser. I am that girl who desperately wants the confidence of being who God created me to be, but so often find myself questioning, wondering. I am that girl who walks away from a conversation wondering why I didn’t have the boldness to speak up, or not speak at all. I am a ‘good’ girl. But more than anything I want to be a ‘God’ girl.

  421. Yes……….I am the good girl, the pleaser, the person trying to do it all right, and all perfectly, and never getting where I feel I should be.

  422. I’m blessed with 3 children and an amazing husband. I thought I was a good girl until I miscarried the fourth time (last one at 16 weeks). I had completely checked out on my family and hit rock bottom. It was only then that I realized that I can’t do this alone. I looked back at my life and realized it was as if I was “sleeping”. I regret many decisions but realize I must leave the past just where it is. Who am I to worry about all these “silly” things. I am still trying to pick up the pieces…some days are harder than others but am finally and hopefully on the right track with the Lord at my side.

  423. Yes, I’m a “good girl”, through and through. I was just talking with my husband about the shame that is so irrational, but suffocates the soul. I’m always afraid to be a disappointment. God has poured his grace out on me in bucket loads, and I am looking forward to soaking up the words in your book to refresh what I already know. Your video is very touching. Thanks for stepping out there!

  424. I think in light of God’s Grace, I see myself as the most horrible of sinners. But occasionally I see glimpses that He sees me as someone beloved and good. And that’s enough.

  425. Being a missionary especially puts me into a more vulnerable place to “want” to be a good girl and do what I think others think I should be. I am presently struggling with who I am and how to defeat these thoughts in my mind that are not truth. Trying to hear the Holy Spirit’s voice and not my own contrived ideas of what I should be like. How does one proceed–to rid myself of these lies and move on? Probably will not happen in my lifetime, I think, but God is able to do miracles and is the Master of rebirth . . . . faith is the assurance . . . . those things not seen but wanting to be observed . . . . . .in others, in myself. After over 20 years overseas, how does one fit into the American lifestyle, the Christian lifestyle? What am I supposed to do with the rest of my life when I do not feel any calling anymore to anything or any place or anybody . . . . . who am I, really?

  426. Growing up, I HAD to be a Good Girl! Or else. It was the only way of ‘earning’ the acceptance and love of my mom and stepdad. I know that my mom did not realize that was what she was doing and what the consequences would be in all of her children’s lives but she was ‘trying to be a good girl, I’m sure. After a very unhappy and very tumultuous childhood and teen years, leaving home at 15 and finishing high school, working to support myself, I finally married a gift from God and then continued what my mom had taught me: If I could keep my babies clean at ALL times and feed the best food so their little brains were growing better than any others, the house perfectly cleaned and nothing out of place and not one speck of dust, look like i had come from a magazine, be smart in all areas, then I would be accepted and loved by all – even God. I just knew that God expected my children’s white high-top shoes to never have a speck of dirt or He would be upset and disappointed with me. I’m now 67 and I am still striving to be all for all. And I end up disappointed when I cannot be all for all. I know this is not how God loves me, but it has been ingrained in to my being. I cannot wait to read this book and stop striving and start living. I can not do one more thing for anyone else. I know my husband would LOVE that! I know I would love that! I know that God would really love that.

  427. Just moments before reading my (in)courage app and watching the clip, I had told my husband I need his help once he is caught up because the shame I live under from not doing all I commit to (too tall of an order, I am afraid) Yes, I am a good girl – that wants to be in recovery!