About the Author

Ann Voskamp is a farmer's wife, the home-educating mama to a half-dozen exuberant kids, and author of One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are, a New York Times 60 week bestseller. Named by Christianity Today as one of 50 women most shaping culture and the...

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  1. Bleh – that stinkin’ lie that I’m *not good enough*…too young or too inexperienced, and even still, just not good enough – this hounds me now, as I stick out my foot for a new job that this lie tells me I have no business applying for because I won’t get it, but that God told me to apply for.

    And then this other one…the one that gets at my heart and wants to shred it to pieces – the one that says I’m not good enough to be a parent of one, and that’s why we’re not having another…

    Oh, precious friends, a quilt stitched with Truth…So. Beautiful. And especially beautiful is how you two were weaved together in the way you were…

    Rich blessings, Ann, as you continue to touch simple lives in the most profound ways and show us all that we are *more than simple*…

    • Oh, the counter-acting truth to these lies that haunt me…

      I am empowered by God to do great things for Him. Do not let my age or inexperience be a hindrance to stepping out in faith for what He wants to do in me.

      All things come to be in His timing, and it isn’t our abilities that make things possible. It’s His power that lives inside of us.

      • Amy, I know that lie about being not good enough to have more than one child. I know it well. Counter lie is that God in his providence has blessed me with one, and he knows best, loves me best, so I can thank him heartily for my one and only. Remember Sarah, remember Hannah (my one came after 11 years marriage). I think the best encouragement was when a friend shared what she heard at a seminar on homeschooling, “God will provide for your family of many kids and he will provide for your family of only one.” Amy, celebrate God’s gift and still give him your desire for more, he may yet answer that, but gift is about grace, never our deserving, right?

  2. Ah, reading this, this morning: “‎”Beware of no man more than of yourself; we carry our worst enemies within us”. Charles Spurgeon

    So we memorize His Word, His Truth! Beautiful, sisters…

  3. It is my fault that I am 36-years-old and still single. That I have never been on one date–not one. That no man has loved me and I have loved no man. It is because I am broken….”difficult”….closed off….too opinionated and “argumentative”….prideful…. independent….competent….critical, of myself first, and then of others….”not the peacemaker I used to be.” Believing lies my mother believes about herself and passed on to me—that I am broken….cannot be fixed….will always struggle…never overcome…never know peace….best friends with pain, discontentment, jealousy, self-centeredness, hurt…..brokenness. It is because I am broken mentally….bipolar disorder (is it real? valid? is it all in my head?…literally…or my heart?)….depression…. counseling…. psychotherapy………..who would want me now?

    The locusts have eaten many years.

    I have not yet believed…or clung to….or been soothed by……the truth.

    • Beautiful Martha…. the one God calls Beloved…

      When the lies hiss loud — I come back to this, steep again in this:

      Who I am in Christ

      Because you are in Christ, every one of these statements is true of you.

      I am loved 1John 3:3

      I am accepted Ephesians 1:6

      I am a child of God John 1:12

      I am Jesus’ friend John 15:14

      I am a joint heir with Jesus, sharing His inheritance with Him Romans 8:17

      I am united with God and one spirit with Him 1Corinthians 6:17

      I am a temple of God. His spirit and his life live in me 1 Corinthians 6:19

      I am a member of Christ’s body. 1 Corinthians 12:27

      I am a Saint Ephesians 1:1

      I am redeemed and forgiven Colossians 1:14

      I am complete in Jesus Christ Colossians 2:10

      I am free from condemnation Romans 8:1

      I am a new creation because I am in Christ 2Corinthians 5:17

      I am chosen of God, holy and dearly loved Colossians 3:12

      I am established, anointed, and sealed by God 2Corinthians 1:21

      I do not have a spirit of fear, but of love, power, and a sound mind 2Timothy 1:7

      I am God’s co-worker 2Corinthians 6:1

      I am seated in heavenly places with Christ Eph 2:6

      I have direct access to God Ephesians 2:18

      I am chosen to bear fruit John 15:16

      I am one of God’s living stones, being built up in Christ as a spiritual house 1 Peter 2:5

      I have been given exceedingly great and precious promises by God by which I share His nature 2 Peter 1:4

      I can always know the presence of God because He never leaves me Hebrews 13:5

      God works in me to help me do the things He wants me to do Philippians 2:13

      I can ask God for wisdom and He will give me what I need James 1:5

      …. see Who Am I in Christ here, Martha: http://www.ficm.org/newsite/index.php?command=textwhoamiinchrist

      Actually, I have this artistic print of the above truths/verses on my wall, with my identity in Christ — so I remember…

      http://www.ficm.org/newsite/index.php?command=whoamiinchrist

      I pray these things for you, Martha — as His daughter — these truths are who you are in Him too, sister… (((Martha)))

      You are always loved….

      • Ann,
        I can’t begin to tell you how much I needed this list. TODAY! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Love you!

      • Sweet, beautiful, chosen Martha, might you consider writing all the Scriptures Ann referenced above in a spiral notecard book, one you can flip through easily when the lies shout? It has been a mighty helpful tool that has allowed me to drown out lies shouted with beautiful Truth.

        You are God’s treasured possession, Martha {Deuteronomy 26:18}. He is crazy about you, and so are we.

      • Martha,

        You ask who would want you now? God does!! He loves you just the way you are. He is the lifter of your head. He thinks good thoughts toward you, He has good plans for you, He wants to give you hope, and He loves you enough that He would rather His Son die on a cross than for you to be apart from Him. The love of a man, as wonderful as it is, will never give you all that God can. He lavishes His love on you, Martha, and it has absolutely nothing to do with you. You can’t earn it and you can’t lose it. He’s just that kind of God. Choose to believe!!! You can!!! You were created to bring Him glory. Yes, you!! In a way only you can! You are loved, Martha, and you have a great Lover and Friend who wants you to know it! Choose to believe!!

        • Martha – please don’t forget that the God who transformed the life of Saul in an instant is still at work today. Saul was a pious Jew, a zealous hater of all those who followed The Way of Christ. He was feared by all Believers because he took delight in their suffering as he plotted their extermination. He held the coats of the men who stoned Stephen to death, and ordered the stoning of many other believers.

          It only took a moment on that road to Damascus to transform him into the man of God we know as Paul. If he, who made it his life’s work to persecute the Christians could be transformed, why not you? God loves you as much as He loved Paul. Think of the testimony of Paul who was used by God to plant churches, encourage new believers, teach and disciple maturing Christians, and discipline those who wandered away from the truth. God is still in the business of making new out of old – He will do it for you! Fill your heart and mind with the Truth of the Word of God until there is no room left for the lies.

    • Oh Martha, your post spoke to me.

      27 years and so lonely, wanting nothing more than to be a wife… and wasn’t that a holy calling? Why wouldn’t God fulfill it?

      And the lies… the enemy told me that I would never be loved, never be cherished, because I wasn’t good enough, pretty enough, could never pursue God enough, would never be able to reach some hidden line that God had put out there where I would have learned enough and grown enough to deserve a husband.

      Do you know where those lies led me? They led to rebellion. Quiet, but rebellion nonetheless. My body in church, my soul locked away, convinced that my aloneness was a result of God not loving me enough…

      The enemy convinced me that I should just get married and prove to God that I *was* good enough, that I didn’t need His help to find a man. And I did. And I’m married now to a man who doesn’t know God. And we have happiness of a sort, comradeship, love, but it is love with a curse, constantly loving more someone whose eternal destination is hell and who is willfully blind to this fact.

      And the deepest irony? Marriage didn’t stop the lies, sister. Marriage just gave the enemy a whole new range of lies to speak. Now I’m not a good enough wife, not pretty enough to keep my husband home; how can he ever love someone who can’t even keep the towels washed and there’s supper late again and why did I ever think that I could do this?

      All this to say… the enemy will give you lies no matter where you are or what your situation is. And they are lies. Someone said that “there is nothing you can do to make God love you more, and nothing you can do to make Him love you less.” Don’t be afraid of being single. Be afraid of believing the lies, because they will follow you wherever you go until you learn to block them out with Truth. Seek Truth, sister. He is always willing to be found.

      I love you.

  4. Thank you my sister for wrapping us in God’s truth today. What a warm reminder of the powerful weapon we have to crush the heel of the enemy! We are wounded warriors with an unstoppable weapon.
    I hear that you are speaking in South Carolina next year. So excited.
    What a wonderful gift. Thank you for the seeds of Light that you share – your writing are a daily joy in my heart and life. May His fullness dwell in you today as you are sharing His truth.

  5. lie – you are not thin enough
    truth – i praise you because i am fearfully and wonderfully made. your works are wonderful. i know that full well.

  6. I have struggled constantly with feeling like a FAILURE as a mother and wife.

    Losing my temper, giving into anger, disrespecting my husband….and oh that untamed tongue of mine….gnaw at me continually.

    I believe the lie too much of the time that I am not a forgiven daughter of the Most High God. I don’t cling to the truth enough remembering through Jesus my sins are remembered no more and cast as far as the east is from the west.

    I know the truth in my mind but most of the time don’t believe it in my heart when it comes down to forgiving myself!

    • Oh, Emily! I hear those lies too!
      It is so hard to loose the battle against the tongue and temper again and again, constant reminders of how far we truly fall from the Glory!

      You know what the truth is, the believing it, for me has been something I have to ask for help from Him… for apart from Him I can do nothing good. So “Help Thou mine unbelief” is a favorite prayer of mine.
      I also find that I regain peace by going to those I have hurt with my tongue, or lashed out at in my anger, and admitting my sin, ask for forgiveness.
      I don’t know if those will be helpful you as they have been for me, you may already practice those things… I will lift you in prayer and as I struggle I will remember you before Him.
      Blessings!
      ~Monica

  7. The lies have been many over the years. Devastating lies. Lies that make not only the soul sick, but the physical body also. Praise God, though, over the past year He has delivered and healed. So many of the lies have been torn down and demolished.

    Can I encourage those still on the ugly side of the lies that there really is freedom on the other side. The Truth really and truly does make us free. I promise. He is faithful. Surely there are more lies to be torn down for me, but it is sweet and glorious and exhilarating on the other side.

    My biggest one of late were, rejection, accusation and unloving (self-hatred). All counteracted by three glorious words. Chosen.Holy. Loved. You can see how I remind myself of these truths, I just posted last night with pictures of how I remind myself.
    http://shelookethwell.blogspot.com/2011/06/i-guess-i-just-need-reminders.html

    Also, the post where I explain why and how these words bring healing, and just how very important it is to really, really ‘get’ these . . .
    http://shelookethwell.blogspot.com/2011/06/look-what-i-got.html

    Relentlessly Pursuing,

    Michelle

  8. Thank you, Ann for this post. I sat on a hospital bed with my very ill sister in law last night and prayed truths over her aching body and discouraged heart. Satan is attacking her in many ways, but our Lord promises us to be with us no matter what we are going through. Satan has filled her mind with numerous lies (“You are useless”,” you are a burden to your family”,” your husband isn’t attracted to you anymore”, and on and on and on), and as she said them last night, I reminded her of God’s promises. The truths you have shared are so powerful and meaningful to me at this moment in my life. Last night, I experience spiritual warfare face to face. Please pray with me that my precious, God-fearing sister-in-law would be able to remember these truths that are hidden in her heart. The pain and emotions she is dealing with are unbearable at times, but He is faithful. Your words are so spirit-filled and timely. Thank you.

    • Dana,

      I join you in prayer for your sister-in-law. I can see her in a pit, staring up–not knowing whether to raise her hands for rescue or tie the rope around her waist or just leave it. When you are so far down even choosing rescue is very, very difficult. I pray strength, will and determination (for both of you).

      In Jesus’ name,
      Dawn

    • Dana,
      I stand in agreement with you and Dawn. That God is the strength of our lives and is the Voice of Truth we cling to. May your sweet sister in love, daughter of our King, be reminded of His Truth and wrapped up in His Comfort!
      Thank you Lord!
      ~Amen
      Blessings and Prayers,
      Monica

  9. Lately, I am plagued by this gnawing, mosquito-like sense that I am not doing enough. I am a pastor’s wife and a relational person and my mind fills with many acts of love and encouragement to carry out, but in the midst of family life, it doesn’t all happen. I know there is a middle ground between doing something/anything and doing everything, and I desire to stand in the middle with peace instead of hanging out more on the side of doing nothing but agonizing over it and feeling guilty constantly.
    Reading the identity truths this morning again washed me over with the reminder that I’m not drifting alone, wildly paddling along trying to figure it all out. God remains every step of the way, guiding, gently convicting, and directing.

    • I prayed for you this morning, Ashley. I grew up a “PK” and I know that pastor’s wives are very underappreciated and lifted up. May God fill you with His love and direct your paths to follow Him daily with no guilt but only a heart fully His.

  10. For 15 years I lived in a church where though “eternal security” is taught, it was so often followed up with “If you are not doing x, y, or z… then you better ‘check your salvation'”… So for 15 years I doubted my salvation. I am thankful that it is by Grace Alone, Eph.2:8&9. I was even serving on the mission field full time and still struggling with this one. Praise the Lord, He helped me to finally see the truth.
    Another one I struggled with for years is that I am worthless to God or anyone. Years of abuse had molded my mind into believing that I don’t matter and I had no worth. I praise God that He found me worthy of His love.
    Some thing that really hit me when I went to the Relevant 10 Conference was the necklace from the Vintage Pearl that was given to everyone attending. It had a cross on it and simply said Relevant. When I unwrapped that God spoke to my heart that I AM RELEVANT TO HIM AND HIS MINISTRY. I DO MATTER. I DO MATTER IN ALL THE MINISTRIES GOD HAS ALLOWED ME TO BE PART OF. I am not just fluff and lint and dust that doesn’t matter.
    I wrote about it here: http://hikingtowardhome.com/2010/11/relevant-conference-part-1/
    There are many other lies I have believed and thankfully I am working through them with a very godly woman who has been such a wonderful support as my counselor and therapist.
    There are only two pieces of jewelry that I wear on a regular basis. One is the Relevant necklace, the other is the By Grace Alone necklace by Lisa Leonard found here at (in)courage. I wear them because I NEED TO BE REMINDED everyday of the Truth.
    Thank you Ann and Lisa for sharing your words here.

  11. Through the tears I type. I am so touched this morning, having cooked a full breakfast for an ailing mother living in our home. A mother that “never bonded with me” (her words). A mother so steel hard that love was never felt. A mother so negative and harsh and biting. A mother I was never enough for. So many things… lies that still feel like truth sometimes.

    I am wounded fresh each day, in ways she cannot even understand, but I am called to care for her. She has no one else. She is failing and alone. So we (that treasure of a husband who rescued me, and I) cook and launder and care and share the Christ words over supper and we pray, O, we pray for grace.

    Lisa, your story has cut me to the heart, used by God to break open the crusted over pains. Ann, your beautiful sharing and cards are a gift. A new entry in the list, the growing list of the beautiful gifts. Thank you.

    • Oh bless you, dear Donna. How Christ must smile to see you living just as He did–serving those who rejected Him. Your pain, your tears are more precious to Him than you’ll ever know.

      Bless you for sharing.

  12. lies: That I’m ugly/fat. I was laughed at by a ‘friend’ when I went forward to be baptized. She’s with the popular group. – Don’t want to be with them! :o)
    That I’m not good enough, don’t have one area of my life completely in order. Struggle with injustice. I feel unworthy of a wonderful man who genuinely loves me – think he is going to leave for someone ‘better’.

    • Heard a song just the other day that included a lyric that said, “you can’t loose a friend you never had.” That was a huge revelation for me. Thankfully Jesus is our friend that never leaves us or forsakes us or laughs at us.

    • Praying, Keri, that you will learn to see yourself as God sees you: dearly beloved, chosen. (Col. 3:12). That you will see and acknowledge your beauty. And know that no one has their live “completely in order”! 🙂

  13. That my husband & I need to figure out where the Lord is leading us & what he has for us to do next in this life…
    *TRUTH* You, O Lord, are the Revealer of mysteries, You are our Shepherd…

    • “Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.” —Corrie Ten Boom

  14. Oh, my. What precious words from Lisa and Ann and the many commenters — life giving and honest. My lie — I am not good enough; I am too broken. Feelings of inadequacy and insecurity haunt my days.
    Yet I fight it with the Truth of God’s Word. And the precious verses that God has given me to memorize are: 2 Peter 1: 3, 4 “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.” Amen. Let it be so, wonderful Father.

    • Love the verse you quoted! The strongest weapon against our self doubt and the enemy is the WORD OF GOD!

  15. Last year as I sat crying on the counselors couch I demanded a diagnosis. “Let’s pretend you have to fill a paper out on me,” I cried.

    “Diagnosis,” I said. “Addicted to lousy thinking,” He quickly responded.
    “Treatment,” I shot back. “Replacing lies with truth, specifically the truth of Christ.”
    “Prognosis,” I hestitantly whispered. “God never fails,” He proclaimed!

  16. My small group is going through the book The Invisible War by Chip Ingram. It has caused me to be more aware of the lies that Satan whispers to my heart daily. I am thankful to finally be able to recognize these whispers for the lies that they are and strive to embrace the truth. The lies I’ve been hearing lately: You are ill equipped and ill suited for the task God has given you. You will never be accepted or valued by others until you are loved by a man.

    God’s Truth: 1 Thessalonians 5:24 – The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it.
    Isaiah 43:1 – But now, this is what the LORD says–he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
    Jeremiah 31:3 – I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.

  17. After spending the last 2 days indulging in lies and wallowing in failure and my huband telling me AGAIN this morning not to live by my feelings, I find your post and I feel God has so gently soothed and taken the guilt away and reminded me of His blessed truth. Oh, I love the truth quilt. I’m not a quilter but I must find a way to do something similar.

    My lies…..who am I to think that just because I went to a retreat and heard I was gifted means I can be anything but a failure? I’m never good enough…never going to get this right….never going to amount to anything….never going to get my eyes off myself.

    The truth….I can do all things THROUGH Christ who strengthens me. My righteousness is from CHRIST and not my works, and HE is good enough! He gives me worth and value and hope for a future that will bring Him glory.

    Thank you, sweet Ann, for the reminders! How thankful I am for the truth!

    Trish

  18. What a beautiful testament to faith and strength. Thank you for sharing this path to healing.

  19. I have embraced the lie that I am not beautiful, only functional and useful. I am tentatively walking in the freeing truth that God makes only beautiful things/people, and I am His, and am more than only useful.

  20. I really needed to read this today. I think I have felt all the things you talked about. The past few weeks- my family has really been on my heart. I come from a big family but it is not very close and I am on the outside because I am a Christian. I do have a great husband and daughter and God gives me others in my life to help . Most of all I have him and I need to remember his ways are best and he is Truth. I think I am going to make a quilt like this. What did you use for the words? Thanks for all you do. I can’t tell you how much you have helped me.
    Jen

    • Jen,
      I used fabric that feeds through your printer. I’m sorry I can’t think of the name but if you go to any fabric store/Hancock’s or Jo-Ann’s they can help you. They come in a small packet of ~6-10 sheets of 8.5 x 11. There are different types of fabric, muslin, cotton, thin, thick, white or natural. Very easy to use. I used the type that was NOT fusible but required stitching.
      Lisa

  21. These days the lie is that even God can’t save my marriage. I know He can, and see that He is, but some days I cannot get past the past, and some days I cannot get past myself. I am often overcome by the hugeness of it all. Too much of my knowledge is in my head and not my heart, and I could use some TRUTH to cling to today. Thanks for the post, Ann. And for the quilt, Lisa!

    • Ask God to show scripture(s) that will be meaningful to you and then memorize! I think memorizing gets it into our hearts…

    • (((K))) The Truth is: I can do all things through Christ Who gives me strength and NOTHING is impossible with our God.

      If God could save my marriage (and He did), then He can save yours. Try not to look to far in the future – remembering that God’s grace and mercies are new every single day. Sometimes we need to know, too, that they are new every single minute.

      Praying for you and for restoration in your marriage – for your heart to trust in the One who loves you the most for what your head knows. And Leah is right, memorization truly does work the truth into our hearts.

  22. I too am believing the lies today. I am a failure…not good enough. I have failed my family. These people the ones who are most precious to me. The ones I have given my life for and yet they are unhappy, unfullfilled and sometimes ungrateful people. Their failures feel so much like my failures. I have heard it said that you are only as happy as your happiest (or not so happy) child. I am feeling that today. I know that these are lies from the enemy but they feel so real today.

    • Dear Sharon, know that the Father holds your heart. Bless you for your honesty.

      As a 20-year-old daughter, I can tell you that I don’t expect my mother to be perfect I only want her to be honest about her failures.

      Keep pressing on, the crown of life awaits you!

    • Sharon, the lies you believe are the ones I also believe, not just today, but all the time it seems. I can’t do anything right. I’ve failed at homeschooling, failed to pass on my faith to my children, failed to establish harmony in my marriage. I so relate to your comment about taking your children’s failures upon yourself. But I do know, in my heart of hearts, how very untrue all of these accusations are for those of us who are in Christ! His grace is sufficient and His strength is made perfect in weakness. Oh, how I needed these sweet posts from Ann and Lisa today. Take heart!

      • Here is a prayer that was in a Focus on the Family magazine, in the question and answer column. I have it on my refrigerator.

        Lord, You know my inadequacies. You know my weaknesses, not only in parenting, but also in every area of my life. I did the best I could, but it wasn’t good enough. As You broke the fishes and the loaves to feed the 5,000, now take my meager effort and use it to bless my family. Make up for the things I did wrong. Satisfy the needs that I have not satisfied. Wrap Your great arms around my children, and draw them close to You. And be there when they stand at the great crossroads between right and wrong. All I can give is my best, and I’ve done that. Therefore, I submit to You my children and myself and the job I did as a parent. The outcome now belongs to You.

    • Praying for you, Sharon, that you would remember these are lies. God takes our efforts and multiplies them. See the prayer that I will add to Kimberly’s post below.

      May I gently ask if you are counting gifts and graces? If not or not recently, do so. I am amazing at how gratitude changes things. And also sorry at how often I forget this.

  23. The lie that I’m not good enough. I’m too young and too inexperienced. The lie that I don’t “DO” enough for Jesus to be worthy of anything good.

    • (((Sarah))) The Truth that my daughter Emily returns to often comes from I Timothy 4.12 “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” What a wonderful time in life you are in. I pray that you will find joy and contentment in the ongoing maturing of your godly speech, conduct, love, faith and purity (he is still doing this in me at 60!) and be confident of His plans to use you for your benefit and His glory and in His time.

  24. “When lies hiss in the heart, the only blade sharp enough to decapitate that forked tongue is Truth.” Well said!! Thank you, Ann and (in)courage, for sharing Lisa’s testimony in this way.

    The biggest lie for me right now is that chronic illness means I’m a failure and prevents me from fulfilling His purpose. The truths sustaining me are that God’s grace is sufficient for me, that His power is perfectly displayed in weakness (not in spite of it), and that He says I am remarkably and wonderfully made (2 Cor. 12:9 and Psalm 139:14).

    • Oh, dear one – I know this one all too well, and I also know that He will display His power in your weakness as He has mine. And what joy there is in leaning on Him. What intimacy we have with the Father when not only CAN we lean into Him, but we MUST. There have been mornings that I could not get out of bed without Him, but it was in those moments when I could literally feel His presence. NOTHING can every prevent the fulfillment of God’s purposes in our lives. NOTHING. I pray that you will know the freedom of trusting Him in that truth.

  25. I forgot to thank Lisa in my post above! Lisa, your tangible, practical way to wrap yourself in truth is an inspiration for all of us to do what it takes to fight off the enemy’s lies. Thank you!

  26. What an encouraging, beautiful, God-sent post, today of all days, when just last night I felt swallowed up by lies and fear. There are so many lies swirling around, and believing them, I succumb to fear and doubt and I feel frozen, unable to do anything. One of the lies: I’m a terrible Mom. I can’t think of enough creative and fun things to keep my temper-tantrum-stage 2 year old daughter happy, that I don’t spend enough time creating our home to be a respite of peace, that I’m not diligent enough to clean all that needs to be clean. TRUTH: I KNOW it’s through GOD that I can accomplish all this, NOT on my own strength (that I should boast in my weakness because that is when God is the strongest!!!), but when I see failure each day, I think it’s because of me, that I didn’t rely on God enough, pray enough.

    I’m making something for my little sister, who believes lies about herself as a woman- choosing guys all wrong for her, staying out late…..she has a physical disability that has left her scarred from surgeries and ridicule over the years, and she’s trying to make up for it by finding validation in other people, other guys. She says she believes the Lord, but she’s floundering. I’m knitting a scarf for her, a scarf that is made up of boxes with hearts in them, and each heart will represent a verse of what GOD says about her, and I’ll make beautiful cards, one for each verse, to go along with how many hearts are on the scarf, and she can keep the cards in a safe place to pull out when she needs them, and when she wears the scarf, I hope God will use that to remind her of what He thinks about her, how much He loves her!

    • Dear Daniella,
      How I could relate to your desire to be a good mom and have a home of peace. I so wanted that as well…my first was a high strung strong willed little guy. I did what I knew to shape and mold, but felt most of the time like I was just winging it. What I didn’t realize was I had the heart and the will but not the tools to know how to make my home peaceful and structured for myself and my family. Not perfect…just with intention.

      My daughter read and researched and found the philosophy and structure of “Babywise” to be reflect the home she and her husband wanted. My very lively 2 1/2 yr. old granddaughter and 1 year old grandson are thriving and my daughter feels sane (most of the time!) They have had unexpected challenges with a preemie in NICU 65 days, no job, having to move, etc. but the gentle structure allowed the children to have some normalcy and my daughter not to feel so powerless. She is now on “Toddlerwise” and “Childwise” and I see the confidence she feels in her parenting.
      I am now a grandmother and looking back that structure is exactly what my son would have thrived on. But I didn’t know.
      So, my gentle counsel is to remind you to separate your “who” from your “do.” The fact that you love your children so much and desire a peaceful and loving home makes you amazing. Maybe you just need some guidance on how to make that happen. You may want to check out the “Babywise” series, or talk to other moms for their ideas. Satan’s lie is that we are powerless to bring the good results we want with positive change…You can do all things thru Christ who strengthens you! love and blessings, Carol

      • Carol and Daniella,

        I too know the challenge of strong children with active minds and active bodies—and I have three of them! Carol, it’s a great encouragement to hear that you’re a grandma now and survived these downright tough days with little ones. Most days I’m worn to thread-bare by 3:00!
        What I have found, though, and been blessed with in Ann’s writing, is remembering that peace isn’t a place, it’s a Person—Christ Himself.
        While some structure and ideas from others can help to certain extent, it’s only as I’m resting my all in Christ that I can know peace inside and calm in the midst of the ever-swirling activity in my house.
        And Carol, can I just say that I’m delighted that your daughter found some peace in structure? But could I ask gently that you do some extensive reading about Babywise and its companion programs before recommending them to younger moms? Several of my close friends have known much heartbreak from the recommendations of that program. ezzo.info has extensive research from both families and professionals with great cautions.

        Grace and peace.

        • Thank you Grace for your info about the ezzo.info site. I took GKGW a couple of years ago and so struggled with the program. I felt like a failure in class when my instincts told me to parent my boys differently in several aspects. Luckily my husband kept encouraging me that I was a good mom and I should just burn the book. Reading all those testimonials was a huge relief and I am rejoycing that God gave me maternal instincts and that the parenting journey is meant to shape and mold all of us. Thanks again! Blessings to you.

          • Thank you Carol, Grace and Almut for your love and recommendations!! It blessed my heart to get responses to my post, God showing me even in this that I am noticed, heard, in my greatest distresses and doubts. God is so good, and no matter what books or studies He leads me to, I know that He will speak into my heart exactly what I need, He is not limited by the good or bad reviews of any book. Praise be to the Lord! Blessings to you three beautiful women! Thank you for caring.

  27. My most hideous lie that haunts me is “It’s never going to get better…if only.” This seems to be a daily struggle that I often find myself trying to bargain with God. “If only you would do this God…then tomorrow might be better” “If you would only make this go away God then maybe I would feel better.” I am learning, and slowly learning the quicker I offer my problems and struggles straight up to Him, I feel instantly calm. The longer I wait, the more people I talk to BEFORE laying it before HIM, the worse I feel. It’s a mind over matter issue for me. I know I am getting better at it and it takes time, and I know I will get there eventually! I often find myself wishing, wouldn’t it be great to have all of these ladies on here all in one place! I think I need a support group to say “Come on Nicole, get on your feet, wipe of that garbage, because God is here to make you WHOLE!”

    Thank you for this great story, I felt like I could really relate to it!

    • Nicole, praying for you. And I just want to say,

      Get on your feet and wipe off that garbage! God is here (there and everywhere) to heal you and make you whole!

      🙂

  28. Lie: I am supposed to be able to fix the people in my family by being and doing more for them. I am to overcome constant abuse from my husband’s ex wife that is spewed on all five of us. I am to manage the legal system into helping us with psychological abuse so insideous that there is no law to handle it. And while I am doing this, the garden should be without weeds, the house should be clean, the laundry and dishes should be washed, and our social obligations should be perfectly met. I should be able to work two jobs and go to grad school full time. I should be relaxed, at peace and fully meeting my needs at all times during this process.

    Truth: Our family is abused on a regular basis. This can not help but affect us every day. It is not my job to overcome all of this abuse. It is my job to be true to myself and to be the best me that I can be. It is my job to take care of myself and to nurture my relationship with God. It is God’s job to take care of the rest. He is the one who has ultimate responsibility, not me. He knows how to manage the situation better than I ever can. I need to TRUST in him that through prayer and a positive relationship with him things will improve, not through my constant busy-ness.

    Thank you for the beautiful post. I loved the line, ” Grace may be peddled cheap on every corner, but lies are so expensive, they’ll cost you your life.”

    • @ Carolyn – I have struggled often with the like that the house must be clean, the laundry and dishes washed, and the garden without weeds. I understand your pain – and I feel especially guilty when my mother comes over!

      When I feel this way, I always remind myself that: 1) I want my house to be welcoming and cozy, not perfect. If that means there’s knitting on the table and the newspaper strewn across the living room… so be it.

      2) I would rather spend time with people than time cleaning. After all, God doesn’t care how clean my house was, but He does care how much love I invested in my husband and children!

      3) If people don’t like my messy house, they’re always welcome to invite me to their place instead! Hah!

      I hope this encourages you.

    • 5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
      and lean not on your own understanding;
      6 in all your ways submit to him,
      and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

  29. All of the wounding and cheating and heartbrokenness, it can saturate every ounce of your being. It can happen very slowly, like an unhurried trickle. This poison penetrating life. Totally unnoticed to everyone (self-included). A silent monster deliberately taking who you are and replacing her w/ someone else. And the ones that are to be your life guards, ordained w/ the promise of watch care can hold you under so that every part is inundated. Some on purpose, some w/ o realization.

    • Trista,

      I am sorry for every thing and person that has wounded you, cheated you, and broken your heart. Especially from those who should have been protecting you. May you feel the blessed hope in knowing that Jesus is in the business of mending broken hearts and setting you free from the poison you’ve identified. May you find His word to be a healing balm, His truth to be a remedy, His love to fill up all the empty places. Thank you for your honesty. I’ll be praying.

  30. God is great. I love the way he uses us as his messengers to answer the questions asked in the lonely pit of lies. That place I was in at 3 am this morning. The lie that I am older now like my mom was while we grew up watching her fearfulness, depression and loss of self. That even in Christ I am unable to escape who I have become because of habits of attending the condemnation lectures in my head over and over again till I am a weak thread. Ah, but I awoke to his strong voice giving me the understanding that I am not a victim of anything.. Then picking up the journal to write down all the things that I have victory over I am reminded of your format for journal writing. I open up your page and find this beautiful quilt of truth and it is confirmation from him that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. I am not a victim but a victor.

  31. Oh my so thankful for a friend that told me…you must read this today. She knew that the mother thing is my struggle and lies the enemy bonds me with. Ann, Lisa, and Donna Rae….thank you for your words. It is so encouraging to know I am not the only one that longed for a mother’s love…a dream mother….a mother that listened and talked and hugged and said I love you and it didn’t seem like a robot so foreign. But God is healing and is going to heal me from these wounds. Like Beth Moore says in Loving Difficult People….how do we expect people that don’t know how to love or have been crippled to love….love…..would we ask someone in a wheelchair to stand up….We have to continue to let God fill us up and heal our wounds so that we can love and show them what real true God’s love is really like. Thank you again.

  32. For the past two years I have been dealing with the lies and hatred deep in my heart. The ugly blackness and hissing snakes. And then I decided to listen and trust the Father. And his words revealed the truth of who I am. I am God’s daughter. I am loved. I am worthy (even though sometimes I do question and pray). Two painful, long years of self-exploration, prayer, and contemplation. That along with the sustained love of my husband, children, and church family. I am slowly shedding the lies. Each day I add another stitch to my quilt of truth.

    It isnever easy nor pretty. But now I know myself and I embrace my quirky, different, and odd things that make me so very happy. I struggle but I am happier now than I have ever been. And the best part – I have learned that I can forgive.

  33. LIE | The pain of sexual and emotional abuse as a child and adult will always haunt my days and my dreams. I will always have to fight for my life. Someone is waiting to hurt and terrorize me; I will let them.

    TRUTH | I am safe under God’s care.
    “At the same time, a find vineyard will appear. There’s something to sing about!
    I, God, tend it. I keep it well-watered. I keep careful watch over it.
    So that no one can damage it.
    I’m not angry, I care.
    Even if it gives me thistles & thorn brushes,
    I’ll just pull them out & burn them up.
    Let that vine cling to me for safety,
    Let it find a good & whole life with me,
    Let ie hold on for good & whole life.” Isaiah 27: 2-5

    • Angel,
      I too bear the scars and pain of sexual abuse and even to address it to other people is still so hard. You show such courage to share your pain in order to embrace our Father’s truth. And I pray that He will continue to speak the truth of your worth, beauty, and strength. You have suffered and seen the dark ugliness of someone else’s sin. You did not cause it, and it was never your fault. God has made you His lovely treasure and I pray that He will continue healing your heart day b
      day as He wraps you in His love, grace and truth. Thank you for being brave enough toshare some of your story. Hugs from one of your sisters in Christ.

    • Angel,
      I too bear the scars and pain of sexual abuse and even to address it to other people is still so hard. You show such courage to share your pain in order to embrace our Father’s truth. And I pray that He will continue to speak the truth of your worth, beauty, and strength. You have suffered and seen the dark ugliness of someone else’s sin. You did not cause it, and it was never your fault. God has made you His lovely treasure and I pray that He will continue healing your heart day by day as He wraps you in His love, grace and truth. Thank you for being brave enough toshare some of your story. Hugs from one of your sisters in Christ.

  34. I woke this morning with a cloud of discouragement weighing me down Ann – feeling that all of life was wasted and I had nothing to offer. Nothing seemed right, and I felt such a failure.
    Thank you for this. How I need to be able to wrap myself in these truths.

  35. Lies. Too many to list all of the ones I have struggled with, but here are the biggest ones that still paralyze my heart many days.
    Lie-I am defined by my failures, and only through achievements can I prove my worth. Truth-I am loved by the Creator of
    the Universe, the God of all, who shows
    me that I am His daughter, a co-heir with
    Christ, loved solely because He created me and became my Redeemer. Never unloved
    or found wanting when I fail, just soothed with the touch of His grace.

    Lie-True relationships are too risky-live with your mask and hide your heart. Don’t get too close- if they see the ugliness of these scars you carry, they will reject you.
    Truth-God has given me a husband who walks through those hard places with me and sees my scars and loves me deeply. When I try to slam my heart’s door, he pulls me closer and helps me fight to keep it open.

    …be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Romans 12:2a

  36. The lie that I am most struggling with recently is the lie that I have nothing to say. That I have no value, nothing to contribute.

    But how do I argue with this lie? I know it’s not true, but I want a verse or two to back me up!

    • I know the feeling…I’ve swallowed that lie too many times to count. But remember, you are God’s treasured possession (Deut 26:18) and all the works of God are wonderful…including (and especially) you! (Psalm 139:14).

    • Oh Carina, I sometimes feel the same way. Like I get all tongue-tied when asked a question or feel like nothing is in my head to speak during group settings or paralyzed by the thought that I don’t have the ‘perfect answer’. I’ve learned that I am most comfortable speaking in one-to-one settings, but I want to grow in this area too.
      “The LORD said to him, ‘Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the LORD? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.” Exodus 4:11,12
      What you have to say is valuable!!

  37. Four years ago, a friend (pastor’s wife from another town) rejected me, without explanation or apology. I have never been given a reason, and pursued reconciliation through a mediatior and Peacemakers Ministries. My friend refused to budge. The experience took a huge toll on me physically, and caused me to develop malignant hypertension, which is life-threatening. D&S were aware of that, but didn’t care. I appealed to their pastor and church leaders but they refused to get involved.

    The LIE: As believers, and ministers of the gospel of Christ, I have to assume that my former friend, her husband, pastor and church leaders strive to show the love of Christ and treat other believers in a way that honors Him. And so, for them to completely shun me, it must be a reflection of THEIR belief that God has rejected me too. I don’t understand why they passed such judgment against someone who, in the case of the pastor and church leaders, they’ve never even met. I don’t understand why there was no forgiveness, no grace.

    GRACE AND TRUTH was ministered to me by 5 godly men who I did not know but were elders of the church the man who tried to mediate our conflict was the pastor of. These men listened to me, supported me, loved me and prayed for me. They continually reminded me that I needed to stop trying to draw water out of a well that was clearly dry (the church that D&S attended). These 5 men believed that I had taken responsibility for my mistakes early in the conflict, asked for forgiveness and had handled the situation in a biblical way; seeking biblical conflict resolution. And the refusal of D&S and their church leaders to extend grace was not a reflection on me, but on them. They told me this over and over and over and over …. reminding me that a church that cannot extend grace is a DRY WELL and I needed to look to Jesus ONLY and drink from the LIVING WATER that He offers.

  38. Thanks Ann, I just ordered your book, I read the first chapter this morning and cried. I have one of your quotes from it in my prayer journal all ready.
    I lie to myself, I tell myself I am not worthy and today I printed out these words to paste into my journal entry for today:
    I Believe
    I Am Chosen
    I Am Dearly Loved
    I Am Holy
    I Am Forgiven
    All Through
    My Faith in God

  39. Lie: “Failure is final, and I am failure.”

    Truth: “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” Jeremiah 31:3.

    What a beautiful, beautiful quilt/truth. Thank you so much.

    karen:)

  40. Thank you so much for your post today – lots of truths in there that spoke to me all wrapped up in a quilt. As a quilter the whole idea of this really spoke to me. Thank you and God Bless. Caroline
    (I can’t seem to access the printable cards as it says I am not allowed to view on Flickr – is there any other way I can get hold of them.)

    • They are not there on Flick. I did the same thing!

      Click on the link you did. Then, under the images of the cards, in a blue box, it says, A Gift from my heart to yours. Click there, where it says to click.

  41. that my husband doesn’t love me and never really did. that i am going to screw up my kids. that i am hopeless and helpless. that all the other moms i know are stronger, better, more organized, more fun, more patient, more loving. that i am an angry, bitter, sarcastic, horrible person and that’s why i don’t have any friends. that everyone, if they got to know me, will eventually leave me….

    i am loved, even if my husband doesn’t love me. i am my Beloved’s and He is mine.
    my kids aren’t mine to begin with, and God IN HIS WISDOM made me their mother even with all my faults and failings…
    the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
    Jesus is my Forever Friend. and He will never, ever leave me…ever.

    i need to remember these things. i am not crafty enough to make an actual quilt, but i love the idea of it. preaching the gospel to myself is something i need to do on an hourly basis.

  42. Oh dear sweet Ann, you always, always lead me right back to Him.

    Your writing causes me to fall to my knees and thank Him. It causes me to stop and give thanks. It reminds me of the importance of hiding His word—His truths in my heart.

    Thank you for making God so desirable.

  43. The lie right now has been some variation of God can’t love me, not me, I am too horrible. And I know it is a lie so I am praying and refusing to believe it!

  44. my life-destroying lies:
    It’s too late for me, I am too broken, used and dirty (promiscuous youth). I will never truly be their mother(adoption). I don’t deserve to bear children (infertility). He will leave me someday. I’m not good enough. I am too fat to be loved, attractive, desired, or accepted. It is my fault he is addicted to pornography. It is because I am so unattractive that he “checks out”, is turned on by, and fantasizes about other women. I will never be able to completely and fully satisfy my husband because I am the problem. I am a failure as a wife, mother and a careerwoman.
    The father of lies has had me in his pocket and whispered in my ear for far too long. I am really done with the lies. Looking forward to finding God-truths and replacing these lies once and for all. Thank you for giving me this forum and encouraging me to come face to face with Satan and his lies. I know God has already given me the truths I so desperately need, I’m ready to find and accept them. Praise God for His faithfulness!

    • Dear Broken Lady~

      From one Broken Lady to another. To be broken by God, it is beautiful- there in the place of brokenness, God dissects our hearts, discards the lies, and rebuilds a new heart of flesh. I too, have been broken by the world (abuse). I’ve been broken by my own sinful heart(I’m the most wicked person I know).

      But God…oh the breaking He does.

      The breaking of a mere 2 loaves to feed the multitudes. The breaking of one lady through whom He can feed the souls of many. Move forward, dear one. One step at a time, taking your thoughts captive and believing God. He is faithful and true.
      I will be praying for you…

  45. mine isn’t so much a lie… i just feel ill-equipped. but i know that i am, and that i need to see that as a good thing. if i believed i was equipped I wouldn’t be asking Him to fill in all my empty spaces.

  46. Satan has no new stories, nothing new under the sun. I read the lies of the others here and wonder at how many of the same one’s I have believed. Some of them I’ve fought, others I’ve surrendered to. The biggest ones, the ones that come back again and again are that no man will ever be able to love me and that I am not making any difference where God has put me.

    • Thank you, thank you, Ann for the reminder that Truth is what stands. Truth will endure. The lies feel so real but ultimate reality is Truth… Today I was battling discouragement… feeling like I am in the wrong place, that I am not growing my gifts at this job and wanting out. I’m not sure what the truth is here, because it may be time for me to move on… But God has not opened any doors yet, so I take that to mean I should stay… but it is so Hard!

      The Truth quilt is a wonderful visual reminder!! Will Lisa make more to sell?

      Thank you so much for the cards. I will print them and post them in strategic places…

      God bless your ministry abundantly!

  47. Lie: If I could love my daughter enough, it could heal her body, mind, soul, and spirit.
    Truth: only God heals bodies, minds, souls, and spirits.

  48. Beautiful, what a way to bring beauty from something ugly. What a treasure this quilt is, what a gift God is to us who are so very broken. How rich we are when HE makes us whole.

  49. Thank you for this. I pretty could have written this about my mother. Thank you again for sharing this and reminding me of the truth of who I am, I am a child of God!

  50. The LIE: I’m a failure as a mom. How can I be a good mom when this isn’t what I wanted to begin with.

    The TRUTH: These kids are a gift from God and He has already given me everything I need for life and godliness, and He will not give me more than I, with HIS help, can handle!

  51. For the past week I have had my birth mother staying with me – my story is one of abandonment and abuse – for the first time ever. It has been a hard week where God has taught me a lot about myself and where I have at times reverted to old habits of feeling unloved etc. This morning’s blog was like a summation of where my thoughts have kept wandering this week and a wonderful reminded of all God’s blessings to me. Thankyou.

  52. Lie: Our secondary infertility and multiple miscarriages are due to the fact that I’m not a good enough Mom to the one child God has given us. I’ve failed enough times with one. Why would He entrust us with more?

    Truth: Our son IS a gift of God, and my identity is in the Lord, not in how many children I have. Rest in Him as my Provider and my Peace.

    And Praise God for His beautiful timing and mercy. This truth was reinforced TODAY through a letter from our sweet 6-year-old Compassion child in Guatemala! We received his latest letter this afternoon, a letter he sent to wish me Happy Mother’s Day. I’m in tears again as I type this beautiful line from Julio: “I congratulate you wholeheartedly because God has allowed you to be a mother too.” Thank you, Lord, for using this child whom I sponsor to minister to me today!

  53. The lie that presses in most these days is if I DO a lot of things, I am accepted, good, better..
    The truth is that in Christ, I am accepted! I’ve been adopted into God’s family, blessed in Christ, chosen before the foundations of the world to be holy and blameless, I’ve been forgiven of my trespasses and sins AND I’ve been redeemed..
    I also get hounded with the lie that getting cancer was due to something I did..so if it returns, it will be my fault..
    Truth is: God will accomplish that which concerns me and He who began a good work in me, will bring it to completion at the day of Christ Jesus..It is God Who carries me day to day, moment by moment and I rest in His care…
    Thank you for reminding me to believe His truth!!!

  54. Hmmm… what is going on in my head is that I will never be a good wife. If God is who He says He is, then I guess that is a lie. But I don’t know of any corresponding scripture that actaully addresses this.

  55. Beautifully written! Thank you. I struggle with my emotions of “not good enough.” Praise God! He is all the good that I’ll ever need! All of my “problems” are earthly, and flesh driven. When I “set my mind on things above, and not on the things of this world,” all my problems fade. Thank you for encouraging “upward eyes.”

  56. My friends don’t find me valuable. I am alone. I am not a worth while person to hang with. I am boring. My family puts up with me. I will always be exhausted and won’t have energy to do fun things with my family. I will mess my kids up.

    The truth is that in Christ I have victory and can walk in new life. I also have worth in Christ. My worth is NOT tied up in my friends, family or spouse. Christ is my hope.

    I HAVE HOPE.

  57. Oh thank you! This brought tears to my eyes. Yes, I’ve seen how countering Satan’s lies with God’s truth is powerful. Yes, I have felt God’s love and his affirmation. But I am still weak, and listen to lies….and I’m a quilter. The quilt brought me to tears. I love the concept of wrapping myself in God’s love when I am needing it. Or for my daughter to have a quilt like this. Awesome! God is so good to give us what we need when we need it!

  58. How many times did I hear “you’ll never amount to anything?” Not in words alone; some in everyday, ordinary actions. Yet it seems the non-actions dug the deepest; and the monumental act in foolish anger and drunkenness, sometimes so gigantic there is still no room for the heartache. Wounded by the wounded, struggling for recovery. It’s a continuous battle. I’m easily overtaken as soon as I let my guard down.
    Truth be told, and it is to be told, to me– heart, mind and soul, over and over, again and again, day after ragged day, I am someone loved by the Great Wounded. Wounded by the wounded. Yet in His infinite grace and mercy poured out on me He does not hold my actions against me. Instead, He wraps His love blanket around me and whispers sweet everythings in my heart. “You are worthy. You are worth it.” And when He sees me He sees His Son’s righteousness, pure and holy. For I am a new creation, precious in His sight. And all day long He woos me and lavishes me with His love. I have amounted to the one my Father loves and adores.

  59. So touched and moved by all of these post. It’s really disturbing to see how many people (especially women) can be fooled by Satan. I too struggle with feeling unworthy, unlovable, not worthy of GRACE. It’s a constant struggle for me but I’m trying to learn to rely on God’s word. Why is it that we can remember all the negative comments from people but not the TRUTH that God speaks?
    Truth- I am worthy of LOVE,GRACE and FORGIVENESS everyday!

  60. Lie: Fear will always control me.

    Truth: He is my light and my salvation, whom have I to fear? God has not given me a spirit of fear.

  61. Lie: You are nothing. You can never hope to even lose weight. Who do you think you are? Your attempts are laughable.

    Truth: I am nothing without Christ. I am His precious child wrapped up in His crimson coloured grace. The Lord’s strength is all you need to lose weight, one day at a time. Who are you? The King of the Universe’s child. Your attempts are not laughable, they are the tiny steps that God uses to daily teaching you about his awesomeness and about this wonderful world He gave to me to explore.

  62. I struggle with feeling that I am doomed, never to be the me behind the disguise of the unwanted daughter, betrayed wife and disposable friend. I feel marked, stained, hopelessly dirty.
    Yet I sing, my voice proclaiming :
    ‘Praise to the Lord, Who o’er all things so wondrously reigneth,
    Shelters thee under His wings, Yea, so gently sustaineth!
    Hast thou not seen, How all thy longings have been
    Granted in what He ordaineth?’
    and my heart cries for evidence that it is true, for me.

  63. I loved the timing of this blog post today, because I just finished reading, “I’m Not Good Enough & Other Lies Women Tell Themselves” by Sharon Jaynes earlier this week & this goes along perfectly with that. I just love it when that happens. 🙂

  64. I pretend. I read. I listen. I want. I look. I shame in orphan-style. I am hungry.
    I reject. I rebuke. I renounce in broken-style. I am angry.
    I watch. I wait. I hope. I linger in passive-style. I am ambivalent.
    I mama. I mend. I make do survival-style. I am tribal.

    I pencil stick figures on my wall.
    Each slash = my heart to God when words hurt too much.
    40 years lost in the wilderness of Maslow’s Hierarchy subversively ignoring my basic needs.
    In life, lies and 1/2 lies have been my daily bread.

    Too afraid or too proud to acknowledge my needs for existence.
    The man on the radio repeats his cry, “De nile ain’t no river in Egypt! ”
    I yell a ‘hallelujah’ back.
    You see, I respect the power of denial. It dun me a lot of favors and it also whupped me clean.

    Today, breaking my own denial, is the beginning, middle and end of every day. A truth quilt is a memorial way to honor God’s word to me. I am not a strong sewer but I can create my own visual reminder of everything I read today.

  65. you are useless

    now, slowly, haltingly certainly, i know i can be useful
    i can be salt & light, by His Grace, He can make me salt & light
    for my own beautiful children who, themselves, need be of no use to me at all…only breathe and my love swells

    • beautiful – love this! why is it so hard, even for us mamas, to imagine /to realize God feeling this way about us – “only breathe and my love swells”

      thank you for this thought today

  66. My Dearest Ann,
    Thank you for sharing, this is a beautiful post, & one I can relate too. I have been broken for so many years, because of the lies. BUT GOD…. I’ve grown up & I know who I am & whose I am in christ, & (nothing or noone shall by no means harm me) anymore. My mind is renewed, my heart restored, & I have gained strength over my weaknesses because of the pain. I’m a new creature in him, old things are passed away, & all things are become new. I am loved just because of who (GOD) is & I know it…. HALLEJUIAH…

    Denise

  67. Love your story and so blessed to have found this website. I am much older than all of you with young children and most of your life ahead of you. I was one of God’s slow learners – I listened to the lie that I carried with me like a piece of excess baggage since I was young enough to remember – “You are nobody, you will never be good enough.”
    It took the better part of a lifetime, but Glory be to God, that lie has been shattered, never to darken my door or my spirit. God has put the most amazing people in my life – always encouraging, always supportive – lifting me up and out of the darkest days. Seek first, my friends, the Kingdom of God and He will surround you with those who care, who love unconditionally, who do not judge, who see you only as the beautiful unique woman you are. He did it for me – He’ll do it for you – what a difference He’s made in my life.
    Be Blest and be encouraged………

  68. CREEPING LIE: (the one I refuse to entertain, but somehow that has not stopped it from trying!) When I step off the plane in the middle of 100,000 refugees from our burned up, bombed out northern border on Monday in the middle of desert and war, we won’t really have anything to offer them of substance.

    DANCING TRUTH: We might not, but Jesus does! If we love the 1 that is all He asks… see 1, love, 1, feed 1, cry with 1, hold 1 and it will be enough and His Kingdom comes in the places where I most know my need. And I know my heart will break just a little bit more to make room for more of His.

    • Michele I love the word picture of the “creeping lie” and the “dancing truth”. Praying for you right now! That the God who is enough would overflow with such living water through you – to them, that you will be blessed and be a blessing.

    • Yes, Julie, you do matter! I do know this feeling. I truly believed that I would not be missed if I just disappeared. My life didn’t impact anyone to the point that I actually mattered to them. It was so very hard to overcome this outlook-I wont lie to you. The lies in my life chiseled so many wrong things into my heart. This was one of them. God can and He will slowly fill in those places that were chiseled away no matter how deep they’ve been carved! You can overcome this feeing, its hard to let go of it completely. Some days it comes back in in a small trickle so that I don’t feel it but when I do I know I do matter, to God. He chose me! He watches me! He hears me! He loves me! AND the same goes for you!

  69. julie – you do matter!!! God made you- HE loves you and we love you!!!!
    Emily – you are singing my song, feeling like a bad mom and wife – must ask HIM for help with it ALL- every little annoying task in the house etc etc – HE will make it good, if we just ask and let him.

    • Thank you Eileen, I was just scrolling through the comments and stopped on this one and read it….It was God ordained!!! May you feel his hand in your life in this area as well!! 🙂

  70. I am a bad mother and nobody wants to be my friend. I don’t know if I can get through each day – want to just stay in bed …. But no…He has given me all I need, He is always there for me, He is the lover of my soul even when I burst in anger, yell, blame, hide away, fear, don’t come to Him and linger in my sorrow. He is there and knows and accepts and loves…me.

  71. Thank you for this. It’s beautiful. So much of my life has been spent on Satan’s lies. I *am* my own worst enemy. This post is fabulous. God bless you!

  72. Unbelievable that this is the story that was posted today. I spent hours this morning talking and sobbing to my husband about these very things….and how I did not feel like I could go on anymore with all the hurts my heart is holding. The lies, the rejections, the broken promises…..

    I recently turned 60…a pretty big age that I am astounded to be at. And my heart just feels like it cannot take these hurts anymore. I have tried so hard to be a good human…a good friend…a good mother and wife….sister and daughter. Yet……well, just YET!!!

  73. Unbelievable that this is the story that was posted today. I spent hours this morning talking and sobbing to my husband about these very things….and how I did not feel like I could go on anymore with all the hurts my heart is holding. The lies, the rejections, the broken promises…..

    I recently turned 60…a pretty big age that I am astounded to be at. And my heart just feels like it cannot take these hurts anymore. I have tried so hard to be a good human…a good friend…a good mother and wife….sister and daughter. Yet……well, just YET!!!

    • Linda, I hear you. My heart goes out to you!
      You ARE a good human, a good friend, a good mother and wife, sister and daughter. You are not alone tonight. I am praying for you now and so sorry for your pain and sadness.

  74. If I forget what hurts others have done, I will make the same mistakes again.
    If I don’t forget them, I become bitter and resentful.
    …what good is it to hope for anything from others? They will only disappoint me and call me the problem for expecting anything…”

    Countered with: Lamentations 3
    I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall.
    I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me.
    Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:
    Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
    I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”

    25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
    to the one who seeks him;
    26 it is good to wait quietly
    for the salvation of the LORD.

  75. I am going through a divorce process after several years of abuse… I don’t know where I would begin as to the lies I was told and had once believed and many of which I am working on overcoming, but here is a beginning.

    I am a child.
    I cannot be logical.
    I know nothing of how the world works.
    I am not sexy nor beautiful.
    I cannot handle finances.
    I manipulate to get my way.
    I am not worth anything.
    I am not even worth spending 5 minutes a day on.
    I am stupid to believe God might care about me.
    I am stupid to believe that the Bible is truthful.

    Some days are harder than others, but I am learning the truths behind the lies. I can see his addictions for what they were, not a product of my own doing, but something that was hidden before the marriage ever began. I see the abuse for what it was. I am not the same person that I was 6 months ago. I have a faith stronger than I ever have, I am a good mother, and I have wonderful support. This post, along with the last few days, have been wonderful reminders of the truth. Thank you!

    • Tiffany,

      The days will come when you don’t have the strength
      When all you hear is you’re not worth anything
      Wondering if you ever could be loved
      And if they truly saw your heart they’d see too much

      You’re beautiful
      You’re beautiful
      You are made so much more than all of this
      You’re beautiful
      You’re beautiful
      You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His
      You’re beautiful

      I’m praying that you have the heart to find
      Cause you are more than what is hurting you tonight
      For all the lies you’ve held inside so long
      And they are nothing in the shadow of the cross

      You’re beautiful
      You’re beautiful
      You are made so much more than all of this
      You’re beautiful
      You’re beautiful
      You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His
      You’re beautiful

      (Mercy Me)

      Praying you will find refuge in the shadow of His wing tonight and believe that you have been fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of our ever-loving Creator God!! May you find victory and freedom in His TRUTH!!!!

  76. Satan’s hissing lies to me:

    Your daughter’s mental illness and disappearance
    Your child’s addiction
    Your failed, 25-year, emotionally and psychologically abusive marriage
    Your other children’s grief and paralyzing losses
    The judgment of others
    Your aloneness

    Are your fault.
    You are to blame.

    I fight the lies every day.
    Bless you a million fold for this!
    Holy, sweet Jesus, thank You for Your constant presence and love, for Your truth to defeat the lies of the evil one!

  77. such a God-thing when a post like this comes after I have spent a day trying to wield the sword of the Spirit, reading scripture aloud from Beth Moore’s Praying God’s Word, and trying to decide which stronghold needs to be tackled first when there are SO MANY, and it is all I can do not crawl back into bed and hide under the covers

    the LIE: that I will never find victory, will be fighting these same battles with depression and guilt and anxiety, endlessly, year after year after year, as I have been for the past 20 years

    the TRUTH: so many truths that contradict this, but that are so hard for me to believe, even when reading and re-reading them and my heart and mind and soul and strength crying “How long oh Lord?” and still it goes on, until I begin to wonder if I need the constant battle to remind me to keep turning to Him? or is this just another lie?

    • Kristen,

      I just wanted you to know that I’m praying. Your post grabbed my heart. I pray such peace will befriend you as you continue to lean into the Lord. We are restless until we rest in Him. Audry Assad’s song, “Restless” has been ministering to my spirit recently.

      May Jesus lift your chin up and help you look into His eyes.

      Hugs,

      Marie

      • Thank-you Marie – I felt the love in your message and the hug through my computer. I will be looking that song up. Thank-you for ministering to me through your words and prayers tonight. Amazing what a loving community can be found through keystrokes!

  78. The lies Satan has been telling me lately:

    You are unlovable.
    You have been married for almost 9 years, you don’t have “it” anymore.
    You are a terrible wife and mother.

  79. Lie: I will never finish my sociology degree and can’t acheive my dreams of working to help marginilized people.

    Truth; “I can do all things through Christ”. I know there is a way. When I knock the door will be opened, espically if it is a door to a God-sized dream.

    Thank-you so much Lisa and Ann for sharing you have brought a litte ray of sunshine in this cloudy day. ( :

  80. The Lie: That nothing will ever change. That I, my own worst enemy, will never allow Christ to be closer than He is now, and that despite having an outwardly (and even mostly inwardly) wonderful life, deep inside I am defeated by my own inability to turn the *next* piece over to God. To carve out time in my schedule to read His Word and pray. To accept His strength to fight even the small battles of parenthood. To live as more than a “practical agnostic.”
    Or, in the words of the Doomsayers from the “Tales of the Kingdom,”
    “Nothing can be done. Nothing will be done. Doom, doom, doom!”

    The Truth:
    I don’t know. I don’t know a verse or passage or even a psalm that speaks specifically to the stubbornness of my own heart and His ability to overcome it. I know He loves me and will wait for me and is always available. I just don’t even feel I’ve earned the right to ask Him anything when I haven’t *given* Him everything – even much of my time.

    • Annette, read Hebrews 4:14-16. None of us has earned the right to ask Him anything. Only Jesus earned that, and He is interceding right now for us. Therefore, we can come BOLDLY to the throne to find grace and mercy when we need it, not when we deserve it. Choose to believe His truth. Try listening to His word online or listening to sermons online as your children are playing and you are doing housework. Pray in the car. You don’t always have to have a “quiet” time to be with the Lord. Fill you mind and your spirit with worship music. As much as possible, surround yourself with His word so that it permeates every part of you. Blessings!

  81. I can identify with Tiffany above.
    Lies that I have believed:
    -I am not worthy to be loved; no one will love me
    -I am not good enough
    These lies have led me to into a difficult relationship, one I am still in … verbally, emotionally, spiritually abusive.
    I am, finally, over the past couple of years, refuting lies and believing truth; speaking God’s truths of love to my heart, learning to stand in truth that I am worthy to be loved, and He loves me and has adopted me as His child. The next step for me is gradually stepping out of the bounds of fear and speaking truth aloud to him, when he abuses, although I find it hard to do so, to him, who wounds with words.
    During some of the hardest times, I have felt wrapped in God’s love like never in my life.
    I am not sure what the future holds for me; it is uncertain. It is a lonely place to be, this marriage. I keep crying out to God for help.
    I have found the church does not quite know how to respond to women who are in abusive relationships; I have found there is a lack of training on how pastors and leadership should respond to women in my case; and I have found that many don’t know much about this issue (signs, how best to help the woman, how best to help the man, etc.).
    It is a gaping need. We should not think it does not happen in families in the churches we are part of; in fact, perhaps more so, since we also believe and desire to obey Christ’s teachings on marriage, and be true to the marriage covenant. Also, many abusive men seem outwardly charming and mild-mannered (a typical profile), so it is almost unbelievable to many what is happening behind closed doors. People, too, genuinely want to see the marriage work.
    So the woman is often left to figure things out on her own… well-meaning church leaders, even good friends who can listen… but a real lack of knowledge of how to truly help; people who know how to confront in love, grace, and truth. I do need someone else to come and fill in the gap, where I cannot.
    My desire is that one day, when either this marriage is better, or I am free from the abuse, to be able to help others, teach those in church leadership, equip pastors and lay-persons, on how to help abused women in the church.
    For now, I am an anonymous woman, sharing and joining other broken hearts out there.
    Thank you for this timely post today. That beautiful quilt is a tangible reminder of Truth to be reminded of daily. I am making my own list, like the example above!
    Bless you!

    • Standing in Truth….

      I have walked in sandals similar to yours… I was in a relationship that sounds so familiar that I find myself grieving with you as I read your post. I did experience the the addition of his repeated unfaithfulness to me and I was released from the marriage (and the black cloud I lived under, despite my walk with God). My prayers are with you. You’re still under the black cloud and my heart goes out to you… I believe there is a line that shouldn’t be crossed when it comes to being abused spiritually, emotionally and verbally. I let the abuse go on and on and in retrospect, I now believe that a separation would have been healthy. It rocks the boat, so to speak, but causes changes sometimes. I pray that our loving Father will provide all the wisdom you need to make it through this time and know how to set healthy boundaries to protect your heart from abuse. You can find me at wingdreamer.com if you want to.

      Loving hugs and prayers,

      Marie

  82. First of all — notice a pattern here – How the lies are all so similar. satan is so farcical, deceptive, unoriginal. He just takes a God fact and reverses it… and for some stupid reason I swallow it! He loves especially to attack our worth.
    Why? – 2 things come immediately to mind – First – We are made in God’s image! Second – We are so valuable Jesus gave His very life for us! Just so He could maintain communion with me.. the very God of the universe completely experienced humility, suffering, injustice, death. And never forget Ressurection!

    so my ongoing hissing lie is not so different from all the rest – That those who say they love me are deluded, being kind, or delusional themselves.
    Truth is > I am loved with an everlasting love, that never fails! and all the imperfect people who say they love me… doing the best they can and I think I’ll believe them today. (and those who don’t love me now or any more or ever — missing out!)
    I am special enough God gave it all for me!

    Man – I can’t believe how strengthening it feels to write that all out. To hear it in my head, type it through my fingers, read it with my eyes and speak it out as TRUTH!
    Thank You Ann – again – for making us focus on reality!

    • Annie,
      Your words resonated with me today. Satan IS unoriginal but I fall for it every time. Why do I have such a hard time believing that someone could truly love me? I come from a very close family, my husband is genuine and my friends are true. Satan whispers over each loving gesture and word, and somehow my heart tunes in.
      Truth: He shouts from the cross, the grave and the resurrection morn His loving Words that crush the serpents ALWAYS! He loves with an everlasting love. He clothes the fields and feeds the birds and gives and provides ALL that is needed through His grace, His mercy, His sovereignty and today I am reminded.
      Thank you

  83. The lies are so loud right now. Telling me I must settle for disrespect and neglect and abuse because that’s the best I’ll ever get. In days gone by I was so attuned to the Father’s voice – so gentle and soft and loving, but I can’t hear it as much lately. The liar is shouting at the top of his lungs and it’s making my ears and my heart ache. Someone please tell him to stop.

  84. That I won’t ever be good enough.

    The truth is that I am HIS. That I have been called, according to His purpose…and all things will work to the good of us who love the Lord.

    The truth is that I abide in His word, and His word in me….so I know He will set me free.

    The truth is that I can and WILL do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me!

    The truth is that He will bring beauty from ashes, even using past failings and heartaches to bring glory to the work of the Lord….a work He is doing in ME!

    The truth is that I am HIS. My family is HIS. That I’ll never be good enough, and that’s why Christ died for ME. Which makes me good enough, loved, and cherished by our everloving Father above. I’m no longer my own, I was bought and paid for with the blood of Christ. Christ has made me good enough already.

    I need these truths tonight. THANK YOU.

  85. That I wasn’t enough to keep my beloved husband from finding another and shattering our family…
    Being loved by a God that catches my tears and whispers to me that he loves me like no other; in that truth I rest.

  86. Oh sister this speaks to my heart. Just today during my prayer time I started writing about how God weaves us through the dark times for it has seemed like so, so much. I realized as I was writing it that he bore all the sins, all the ugly, ALL of it. For us.

  87. Thank each one of you for your words, for your courage to place your tears and pain to this thread. I ache with you as I read how your hearts have been broken and still bleed with brokenness. I too believed the lies spoken to my mind by my mind and others mouths. Some seem a lifetime ago,

    I too am turning 60 this year, and still young at heart and full of life. A life that our Blessed Lord has returned to me through His patience and persistence. “For I can do all things through Him that strengthens me”.

    In my ownness I am not patient, loving, kind, caring or compassionate…but I am His child, His daughter, so the lies shatter. I AM A CHILD OF GOD! Therefore, I am loving, I am kind, I am patient, I am trustworthy, I am competient….. The lies no longer hold any truth to me…because the Lord of Truth and Love has spoken!

    May the Lord of Truth and Love speak to your heart, your mind and your spirit. May His voice block out any other voice, and may His comforting Spirit lift yours to a dance of assurance that you are indeed an amazing, wonderful, awesome, gifted woman.

    • It’s taken many trials and years of refuting the lies with the sweet word of God to even get me to the place i would step out and write my own blog, reply to one like this. For the biggest lie the enemy tells me still is I am nothing. He gets me to compare my self with even you that write in and ask my self what could you have say that would have any meaning next to this women and besides these young woman want to hear from someone their own age. He keeps telling me God is through with us and we just need to step aside and let the younger ones take over…and honestly in my physical self i could do that, get out of the battle. But the spirit rises up in me to protest. For me its the song, I Am Nothing that refutes the lie every time for it was written for anyone of any age. For I am nothing, He is everything and the enemy hates it when i make Him everything, give all to Him.

      Take these hands, lift them up (even my wrinkle arthritic fingers)
      For I have not the strength to praise you near enough
      I am nothing, i am nothing, without you

      Take my voice and pour it out(I love to sing and the lie he tells me is I am getting too old)
      Let me sing the songs of mercy I have found ( I love the new mercy every day)
      I am nothing, I am nothing without you

      Take my body and build it up ( God infuse some extra strength in my body today)
      That it be broken as an offering of love
      For I am nothing, I am nothing without you

      Take my time on this earth (my favorite verse) (give me extra years to tell others)
      Let it glorify all that You are worth
      For I am nothing, I am nothing without you

      And oh my soul needs for your love (not my love for Him) to cover me
      So all the world will see, that I am nothing without you

      PS..I don’t quilt, sew, or do crafty things but i applause you who do for every artist needs an admirer and I will be a faithful admirer

    • Sweet Sister… If you picked up a pen? And wrote it all as a letter to Jesus? And then used Scripture to write out His truths back? I just wanted to whisper this morning: I am praying for ((you)) right now…

  88. Lies:

    That my husband will never love me whenever things are “difficult”. That he will keep withdrawing and saying hurtful words when he is angry. That I will keep being hurt by his un-commitment. That those wounds in my heart won’t heal. That I will end up sinning because of this hurt, That things will never change. That I am alone in all of this.

    • Dear Joyce… This morning, I sit with you. (((Sister)))

      Let’s whisper truth:
      Joyce is loved with an everlasting love.
      God will never leave nor forsake Joyce — there is nothing she can do that will separate you from the love of God.
      When Joyce is hurting, whisper to her how close You are, Lord… and how You, God of the heavens, gently bind up her wounds.
      Joyce is being renewed and there is such beautiful hope: Philippians 1:6
      For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.

      You are LOVED , Joyce…. so loved and held and I just wish I could embrace you this morning… Hold on to Him, sweet friend:

      Jeremiah 31:3
      The LORD appeared to him from afar, saying, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore I have drawn you with lovingkindness.

      Ro. 8:38
      neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

      Isaiah 42:3
      “A bruised reed He will not break And a dimly burning wick He will not extinguish;

      Psalm 147:3
      He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds.

    • Moved to pray for you, Joyce. May the God who knows and is remedy for all the treadmills and wounds we think can’t be healed and hopelessness we feel and sin we can’t seem to stop make His presence known to you this very day.

  89. over and over again, i am aching inside because of the way you write about hurt and healing. i ache to trust in close friends again but know that God wants me to need Him more than i need others. i am humbled by His love. thankful for the way it is shared here. a taste of heaven on earth.

    i just want to be in His arms, moving ever closer to His heart.

    amen

    • Shannon,

      I am praying for you, dear sister. I know the ache you write of. Intimately. Your want is my want.

      Everything after the “but” … yes. God wants you and me to need Him more than anyone or any thing. The ache for earthly closeness dulls the more we understand His ache for us.

      I send my love in Christ to you this morning. You are not walking alone. See you in heaven, my dear sister.

  90. Lies – that the pain in my body won’t go away, that our marriage will stay broken, and that I’m alone

    Truth: He will never leave or forsake me. He heals the brokenhearted and binds up my wounds. He is the Lord who heals me. And we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.

    Thank you for the encouragement and the reminder to cast down the lies! This fellowship is a refreshing rain in a dry season. Thanks for walking with me from afar through the hard times.

  91. I am struggling with prayer…some have said God won’t listen if there is something wrong in your life, or if you don’t ask with the “right” magical words. How can God not listen? But everywhere it says to ask God. Then it says only if it is according to His will. But if we are asking only for that which He will do anyway, then is there really any use in praying? Do we not pray for healing for someone? For protection? For salvation? Do we really know what His will is? I always believed that prayer changes the pray-er. But now I don’t even know how to pray. I pray believing it is already done…and it doesn’t happen. How can scripture be so full of the asking, if He doesn’t intend to give? If even we earthly beings can give, won’t God give even greater? I know the answers: God answers in different ways; Sometimes the answer is NO; He gives better even than we can ask for. But I am really feeling like my prayers make no difference. So I keep praising, keep counting the blessings and know that Jesus prays for me if I can’t manage the words.

    • This, sweet Linda, is the Truth: “For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer…” I Peter 3.12

      And the other Truth is this, dear one, you are clothed in the righteousness of Christ Jesus: “I will greatly rejoice in the Lord; my soul shall exult in my God, for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation; he has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself like a priest with a beautiful headdress, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.”

      God hears your prayers, and it is my prayer for you that you will know how He longs for you to trust Him when answers to your prayers seem elusive – that you find comfort and joy as you praise and count blessings and that you know the peace of His presence in all circumstances as you rest in the assurance that He is there. Right there – adjusting your “headdress” and polishing those “jewels”.

  92. The lie (over and over since Easter – for the first time in more than a decade): He is not there. None of it is true. I’ve wasted the last ten years believing. And if I died tomorrow I would simply cease to be and it would not matter. It would, in fact, be a relief.

    Forgive my honesty, sisters, and – if you would – pray for me?

    The Truth: This too shall pass and the Truth will indeed set me free.

    • Praying for you as you walk in this lonely, confusing and painful place. My heart ached for you when I read your honest post. May you find peace and grace in the middle of your doubts, and may you ultimately, see, hear, feel, know the reality of God and His love for you.

      • Thank you, CT. I am trying to be faithful in the storm, and the prayers of good people like you will help to pull me through.

        • Since you quietly tucked in your raw, poignant comment at (in)courage this weekend… I so hear your beautiful heart…

          *Thank you*…

          In the tumult, He is true. He is quiet and He is faithful and He keeps tenderly wooing, gently beckoning, always longing.

          A thousand ways, He reveals glimpses of HIs glory… His Word, His love letter to you…

          And the truth: God writing HIs story into our song — and all is well, “because the author of the story has written Himself into the story and walks beside us until the story is finished in HIs time, for HIs honor and HIs glory “— and that is why all is truly well.

          You have no idea how many times a day I have to remind myself of this, sister…

          You are loved with an everlasting love — and underneath are the everlasting arms…

          ((you)))

          I am so with you…

          For you this morning:

          http://www.fathersloveletter.com/fllpreviewlarge.html

  93. Lies: That I am just one of many, not worthy, easily overlooked, I don’t really matter, so just exist and take the rejection because my life and who I am really doesn’t count.

    Truth: I have been reading Colossians and have been writing down words – nouns, adjectives, verbs that speak to who we are in Christ, in Christ’s body. Here are a few of the hundreds I have written down: grace, peace, thanks, Father, praying, love, hope, truth, consistantly, bearing fruit, increasing, beloved, bondservant, faithful, behalf, not ceasing, filled, knowledge, His will, wisdom, understanding, worthy, please, good work, strengthened, all power, glorious might, steadfastness, patience, joyously, qualified, share, inheritence, light, delivered, transferred, beloved, redemption, forgiveness, created, good, fulness, reconciled, through the blood of the cross, formerly alienated, holy, blameless, established, rejoice, suffering, bestowed, manifested, willed, riches, glory, encouraged, knit together, wealth, assurance, understanding, mystery, hidden, treasures, received, firmly rooted, complete…. Such powerful words and oh, how I and you do count and how beloved we are in Christ and how He wants us to know of all the treasures and worthiness we have in Him and how that glorifies Him. Thank you, Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit. Thank you for your postings, Ann.

  94. Sweet sweet words. I have not been connected to the rest of the world for 5 days now, and then to pull up Ann’s quilt themed script… FILLED MY SOUL.

    We were at constant vigil with my my beloved Granny from Sunday to Tuesday. Her life was challenged and tragic by abuse from others. From others who should have protected. But she OVERCAME, time and time again. At 6:15 Tuesday morning we ushered her into Heaven. We gave her to the Jesus, the groom of eternity. She peacefully left us and finally found her perfect peace in His arms. In the next few days we readied for the funeral, visited and shared and loved and cried and ached in our earthly souls. I know there are members of my family that are struggling because they too have been hurt and damaged by the actions of others. They know not the peace of the Lord who can carry you through it all. As I weep here for their lostness I pray the Holy Spirit will call them to full understanding, soon. As for me I FULLY REJOICE in having the most wonderful blessing of loving my Granny, then knowing her eternal home is fullfilled and that I was there to witness her homeGOING!!!!

    Thank you Ann, my Granny was know for prolific quilting. This is why the quilt theme rocked my emotions. I spoke at her funeral and reminded everyone of this simple gift she gave MANY! She must have quilted 1000 miles of stitches, ones she prayed through and gave to all her loved ones. She shared 1000 aches, 1000 joys, 1000 prayers in this life and I know IT IS WELL WITH HER SOUL.

    • Angel, This is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with us in the midst of your grief. Your granny sounds like an incredible woman of honor and faith. What a legacy she has left, and I pray her legacy will be the beginning of healing for many in your family. So thankful we have the Lord to walk with us in the valley of the shadow of death. Hugs to you!

  95. the lie..i’m not good enough…that gets manifested in so many areas of my life by shame…especially right now in my marriage…that is failing…staying very concious that it doesn’t slide over to “i’m failing”….the truth is… i am enough, do enough, have enough…i know this to be true in God’s eyes and word…i’m grateful for this understanding and posting…it has shored me up, when i was falling…thank you…

  96. Lie: My worth is in my accomplishments. I need to be creating a beautiful home, cooking healthy delicious meals, being a super teacher @ work, helping others etc. etc.
    Truth: My worth is inherent because I am a beloved child of God. What is important is my relationship with God through Jesus. That is where I need to keep my focus and pour my energy.

  97. my lie? that i don’t do it well enough to keep my famly happy. it being homeschool my kids, love my husband, love my kids, cook, clean, write, – that my failures are not forgiven. i know truth, but the hiss can be so loud…

  98. Oh, how I needed this…I must find a way to make something similar…probably a travel sized one 🙂 Sadly, there are quite a few, but one that has been hanging around most often is the lie that “this is it” – “this” crazy work schedule, “this” traveling all over for work, “this” being away from home too much…it will always be here. That I won’t ever be able to figure out how to balance being a godly wife and a mummy while getting the bills paid. That I am not a good mummy because I am away too often.
    The truth: My Heavenly Father loves me unconditionally. He has amazing plans for me. He knows my wants and desires. His plans are much better than anything I could create.
    Even though I currently have to travel extensively for work, it is only for a time. We are reminded in Ecclesiastes that there is a time for everything…that truth tells me that this time shall pass. I am blessed with a family who jumps in a supports us during this crazy time, a family who cares for my husband and little one when I am away, as if they were their own.
    Yes, for now, the travel is crazy. But, this travel, this work – it is allowing my husband to finish a graduate degree in ministry. It is allowing for our family to follow in the path that we feel God is directing. I won’t have to do this forever. I will be able to stay home and home school my little ones.
    When people don’t understand, I take it personally – I question what we are doing. I need to remember that what others think about me is not nearly as important as what HE thinks.

  99. I know many girl-hearts that desperately need this – including my own.

    The lie that hisses at me? I’m too old and ugly – to have a voice, to write, to speak, to?

    The truth? Psalm 92.12-15 ” The righteous flourish like the palm tree and grow like a cedar in Lebanon. They are planted in the house of the Lord; they flourish in the courts of our God. They still bear fruit in old age; they are ever full of sap and green, to declare that the Lord is upright; he is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in him.”

  100. The lie: I’m not good enough and never will be for any one at any time in any thing.

    I know this is a lie, but it is so ingrained into every cell of my being! It affects me consciously and subconsciously! If not for God’s grace, I don’t think I could get out of bed and put my feet on the floor each morning. Thank you, Father God, for the courage to face each day and each person and each situation! Thank you for saving me from my self and from the lies! Thank you for Ephesians 2:8-10 leaping off the page one morning and into my heart–the knowing from that, that I cannot possibly earn salvation–it was there all along and it was free! Thank you that you are healing my wounds, making it possible for me to face others and forgive the pains and stand on your holy, perfect, precious Word, my Lord and my God!

  101. This thread, this beautiful awful thread comes at just the time when I am once again unraveled. This time not for only for myself but for my lovely aching adopted daughter. She asked that my husband and me not tell her she’s valuable since we also tell her what needs correcting. She defined herself as the one who can’t live up to expectations–the one with ‘character flaws’. My heart broke. Have I caused this? Have I, the one who found myself dying under the law put the law back in place? What about grace? I know what it’s like to feel like you’re living up to someone’s standards and not making the grade. I thought I threw that shackles of pleasing others off years ago but did I just replace it with my own expectations? How has she come to believe the lies? Is it my fault? Does her lie lead to me once again believing my own lies? Failure as a mom! Failure as an adoptive mom! I thought love would be enough. It’s much harder than that. Oh, how I wish she’d been mine from the day she was born. How much damage was done in those first years of nurture and bonding? What can I do?

    I know the truth. It floods me. The list I made years ago of who I am in Christ. My new identity in the One I died with, was buried with and resurrected with. I rehearse the truths; the Holy Spirit rescues me but how do I rescue her? Can I? I love that child God gave me 14 years ago. I want to help her and pour into her that she is fearfully and wonderfully made. I want her to believe it! We take her in our arms, we nurture her with words of affirmation but she doesn’t want to be there and she doesn’t want to listen. I look back and realize she never really has believed me when I’ve told her how much I love her. She never has had a pliable heart. She has always kept herself closed off from me, from the family. She really never let us in. She pushes to see if I will be pushed too far but I won’t give up on her. The Holy Spirit will strengthen me to stand firm in being there for her. It won’t be long until she’ll want to be on her own and I do fear she’ll bolt. I just pray she will discover the truth of Christ. I pray she will stay under our protection but I know that independent spirit–the one that doesn’t want to need anyone. Oh, Lord, if you can use me to heal her hurt. If not, give me wisdom so I won’t perpetuate it. May I not be the cause of anymore hurt. May she know that we will not abandon her.

    I will include my “Identity List”. Maybe it will bless some of you who have been so honest and vulnerable. We can pray together for God’s miraculous healing and that we will always replace the lies with truth!

    Our Identity in Christ

    Here’s a list of what dying with Christ, being buried with Christ and being resurrected with Christ accomplishes in our “identity with Christ.”

    I read through each of these scriptures and realized what a huge privilege it is to belong to Jesus. Now I pray that I can live like I believe these things.

    I am:

    Child of God…..John 1: 12-13; 1 John 5:1-2, 18; Romans 8:16

    Chosen and appointed to bear fruit….John 15:1,5,16

    Friend of Jesus…John 15: 14-15

    At peace with God….Romans 5:1

    Freed from sin….Romans 6:5-7, 12, 18; II Corinthians 5:14-15

    Not condemned….Romans 8:1

    Called according to a purpose and to be the image of Christ….Romans 8:28-29

    God is for me!….Romans 8:31

    I cannot be separated from God….Romans 8:38-39

    A fellow heir with Christ….Romans 8:17

    Called into fellowship with Jesus….I Cor. 1:9

    I have the spirit from God and can know the things of God….I Cor. 2:12,16

    Not my own; my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit….I Cor. 6:19

    One spirit with God….I Cor. 6:17

    I am a member of Christ’s body….I Cor. 12:13; Eph 5:29-30

    I have victory in Christ….I Cor. 15:57; II Cor. 2:14-16

    Sealed with the Holy Spirit….II Cor. 1:21-22

    New creature….II Cor. 5:17; Col 3: 9-10
    Righteousness of God….II Cor. 5:21

    Bride of Christ….II Cor. 11:2; Rev. 19:7

    Christ lives in me!….Gal. 2:20; Phil. 1:21

    I belong to Christ….Gal. 3: 29

    Blessed with every spiritual blessing….Eph. 1:3

    Adopted as a son….Eph. 1:5

    Chosen to be blameless and holy….Eph. 1:4

    Redeemed!….Eph. 1:7; Col. 1: 13-14; Col. 2: 13-14

    Created for good works….Eph. 2:10

    Seated with Christ in the heavenly places….Eph. 2:5-6

    Brought near….Eph. 2:13

    I have access to the Father….Eph. 2:18; 3:11-12

    Created in righteousness and holiness of the truth….Eph. 4:24

    In the light….Eph. 5:8

    A work in progress begun by God Almighty who is faithful to complete what He’s started….Phil 1:6; 3:20-21

    Qualified to share in the inheritance of the saints in light….Col. 1:12

    Christ is in me; He is the hope of glory….Col. 1:27

    Complete….Col. 2:10

    My life is hidden with Christ in God….Col. 3:3-4

    I have salvation….I Thess. 5:9

    I have a spirit of power, love and discipline NOT of timidity…II Tim. 1:7

    I am guarded until the end….II Tim 1:12

    I am Christ’s sister….Hebrews 2:11

    Holy brethren; a partaker of the heavenly calling….Heb. 3:1

    Saved forever and now Christ intercedes for me….Heb. 7:25

    Sanctified….Heb. 10:10

    I have full assurance of faith, a heart sprinkled clean from an evil conscience, a body washed with pure water and I hold fast to the confession of faith, our hope…
    Heb 10:19-23

    I am born again to a living hope inheriting an inheritance that is imperishable and undefiled and won’t fade away. I’m also protected by the power of God…
    I Pet. 1:3-5

    I am holy because He is holy…I Peter 1:16

    Living stone being built up as a spiritual house for a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrificed acceptable to God through Christ Jesus…I Pet. 2: 4-5

    Chosen race, royal priesthood, holy nation, people for God’s own possession with the purpose of proclaiming the excellencies of God….I Pet. 2:9

    Receiving mercy….I Peter 2:11

    I have everything I need pertaining to life and godliness through the true knowledge of Him who called me by His own glory and excellence….II Pet. 1:3

    I am a partaker of His divine nature…I Pet. 1:4

    Anointed by the Holy Spirit….I John 2:20

    I have hope as a child of God that I will someday be like Jesus….I John 3:2

    I am from God….greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world….
    I John 4:4

    My sins are forgiven!….I John 4:10

    It is my hope and prayer that you will look up each of these scriptures and meditate on what your first love has accomplished for you.

    Maybe one day I’ll turn them into a quilt…a brilliant idea!

  102. For the past 12 years I have lived with the betrayal and abandonment and lies of my ex husband. In my head, I know they are lies, but they don’t seem to take root in my heart. Our 31 year old son was recently shot and killed. My ex, who has remarried, had not seen or talked to me since he left. At the memorial service he was cold and cruel and he is still telling lies about me to our other two children who are adults. I needed to read this today and save it. Although I have absolutely no talent when it comes to sewing or crafts. I will design something on paper, frame it and hang it on a wall. Thanks for such an awesome site. I recently began one of my own but not sure where to go with it. My life is similar to Job, except for my childhood. I have much to be thankful for but my losses has caused me so much grief I can’t seem to get past it. Please pray for me, as I will pray for you and ask the Lord to continue to use you to minister to others.

    • Libby,

      I am so sorry about your son! And I’m sorry your ex-husband has not been able to move past whatever issue he may be facing so that he could have been a comfort to you when your son passed! No matter what the issues were between the two of you, he can’t deny the children belong to the both of you. It has taken a while but my ex-husband and I are finally at a point that we are a united front with our children (8 & 12). I thought the past 1 1/2 years was bad before we got to this point. I’m not sure how I would have handled 12 years of silence from him.

      The lies can live a long time can’t they? I lived with them for 38 years before I dealt with mine. I was naive and thought a few counseling sessions and I would be ‘fixed’ and not be bothered any longer! 30 weekly sessions of counseling later I was at a calm place. Not fixed, not healed completely, but calm. There are still issues that need worked on but right now I’m content with my life. Finally.

      It was a hard long road to go down and I cried so many times–why can’t I just flip a switch and believe the truth and not the lies. I need to choose to believe! I need to believe that I can believe!

      I understand you when you say you have blessings but is the losses that make you feel like you can’t go on. I could look around and see my blessings but I couldn’t let go of the ‘but this’ or ‘but that’ happened to me. I continually lived in the past. All the time. I couldn’t see the future at all. I could barely see the present. It was the past that I lived out every day! I am happy to say that now looking back on my past is now the exception and not the rule! I am enjoying living my life instead of surviving my past. I will pray for you, as I have been for the others who have posted on this thread. God knew what he was doing when he pushed me to agree to share the words and the quilt–he is still working in me, healing me as well as everyone here!
      lisa

      • Beautiful Barbara,

        I, too, have a beautiful 14 year old adopted daughter who suffers from a spirit of rejection, due to having been abandoned by the one who should have loved her.

        I have accepted that my life can never heal her-only when she allows that crazy love of Christ to come and heal the bruised and battered places of her heart can she find peace. Her feelings of unworthiness come out in rage against me, the only one she can be sure will love her anyway!

        God revealed to my heart that I must begin each day in His strength, and not face her/my future with a spirit of fear. He has promised me that EACH DAY he will give me enough to parent her, which can be emotionally exhausting.

        And HE is faithful!

        Love to you, my sister,
        Laura Beth

  103. ((((Libby)))) You know I love you, sweet sister. I grieve for all that has so deeply wounded your heart, and every time I see your name, I lift you up to the Father that loves you most of all. I do hope that you will come back here often (and that you subscribe to Ann’s and Holley’s blogs)….the dear sweet hearts here truly love their sisters (and brothers) and faithfully use their gifts to inspire and encourage the rest of us. XOXOX

  104. Lisa, Thank you~Thank you. You turned something very ugly into something beautiful.

    God is amazing and you are a blessing

  105. As I yelled my babies to sleep tonight, weary from another long day…wondering when this is going to end….fighting the depression that threatens to once again take hold, I thought “I just can’t do this anymore.” I’m incapable. I’m ugly. I’m never going to conquer the to-do list. I’m going to ruin my kids if I can’t tame my tongue. Disgraceful. Shameful. Overwhelmed and drowning in life that seems so out of control. I rarely click over to the extra links on the blogs I read – no time. Tonight I did. With tears pouring down, I’m battling those lies. Finding it hard to reach deep enough to remember the truths that I have read and spoken and sang over and over.

    There is a God Who loves me.
    Who wraps me in His arms.
    That is the place where I’m changed.
    That is where I belong.

    Take me to that place, Lord,
    To that secret place where
    I can be with You.
    You can me like You.
    Wrap me in Your arms.

    • BJ,

      I have been right where you are at this evening, so many many nights. It does get better. Unfortunately knowing when is the hard part. Just waiting was excruciating. I am sorry. I know the depression, the ugly ugly lies it says to your heart! I know the feeling of wanting to just give up and walk away from all of it. Thinking my children would be better off without me because I yelled all the time. I couldn’t handle life, let alone raise them right! But God would always come shining through that dark pit. For me it was with a song usually. I love to sing and songs just speak so clearly to me. Some nights I would type novels on my laptop hoping I wouldn’t short circuit anything with the ever flowing tears! Then he would put this song on for me to listen to:

      I will sing by Don Moen
      Lord You seem so far away. A million miles or more it feels today.
      And though I haven’t lost my faith, I must confess right now that it’s hard for me to pray.
      But I don’t know what to say and I don’t know where to start.
      But as you give the grace with all that’s in my heart.

      I will sing.
      I will praise even in my darkest time through the sorrow and the pain.
      I will sing. I will praise.
      Lift my hands to honor You because Your word is true. I will sing.

      Lord is hard for me to see all the thought and plan You have for me.
      But I will put my trust in You. Lord will meet Your guide to set me free.
      But I don’t know what to say and I don’t know where to start.
      But as you give the grace with all that’s in my heart.

      I will sing.
      I will praise even in my darkest time through the sorrow and the pain.
      I will sing. I will praise.
      Lift my hands to honor You because Your word is true. I will sing. (2 times)

      Lisa

      • Thank you, Lisa. My wonderful husband wrapped grace all around me this weekend, and I’m in a much better frame of mind today, although I’m still hearing the taunting whispers trying to grab hold again. So I just keep repeating and singing the Truth. Thank you for your story and your encouragement!

  106. Lie:
    I am not a good mother…good mothers don’t ________________________.
    Truth: I am a good mother, growing in His grace.

    Lie:
    I didn’t ask for this difficulty with our oldest child…I didn’t ask for ASD and ADD and medication and difficulties at school and behaviours that are enough to drive me up the wall and make me leave and never come back.
    Truth: 1 Samuel 1:27.

    Lie:
    I keep screwing up with the same things over and over again…it’s no use, I’ll never get it.
    Truth: I will get it, in God’s time and in His way, by relying on Him and not relying on me.

  107. Lie: I’m pretty good; (pause) but I’m never good enough or smart enough or quick enough…that’s pride in both its ugly forms isn’t it?

    Truth: only God is good! Not anyone approaches his perfection, yet I Peter tells us to be holy because our Father is holy…might this because be the way as well as the reason? Lay it down. I want your will for me Lord, moment by moment. Help me obey you more immediately! Fear no one as much as you! Because fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.

  108. That no good, decent, God-fearing man in his right mind who is worth having would intentionally and knowingly sign up to forever spend the rest of his life with my particular brand of The Crazy.

    I know my weaknesses and faults all too well, and when it comes to a relationship I can’t comprehend that any man would want to put up with My Crazy for the next 30-50 years.

    I don’t have a scripture answer yet, but God is working on me a bit to see all the goodness and love and gifts he has given me that DO make me worth signing up for.

    • I immediately thought of this:
      “6. being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” 1 Phil. 1:6

      He is working in you and he won’t stop until he says he is complete! If a man cannot see that you are a work in progress then he is probably not the right man!

  109. Lisa and Ann, what a powerful message for so many women, and men, who are pushed down with the lies….thinking of my father today, who was one of these. And I, his daughter, the beneficiary of the lie that plagues me, that good things and abundance are unreachable. But the truth–Ephesians 3:16-21–verses filled with riches, glory, the breath and length and height and depth of Christ, which surpasses knowledge, filled up with all the fullness of God, exceedingly abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to His power working in us…”to Him be the glory…to all generations forever and ever. Amen”

  110. Something’s wrong with me; why else am I not married? Why else does would my father not want to talk to me or spend time with me? Why else do I have no friends? Something’s wrong with me. Why does it hurt so much everyday? God where have you gone, and why don’t you come back?

    Nothing’s wrong with me; I am made in His image. I am beautifully wonderfully made. All things in His perfect time. He is sovereign; I might not get married; he might call me to do something else. My earthly father has eight children, and is stretched thin, but he does love me. My heavenly Father loves me too, far more, and far better then can my earthly father, and He does want to spend time with me; He delights in me. I need to work on my relationships and not expect them blossom without some effort on my part. The pain I feel each day is me wrapping myself in these lies so tightly, I’m suffocating. I leave no room for love. I leave no room for healing. I hear only Satan, and drown the Voice of Truth. He is here. He will never leave me or forsake me.

  111. I love your writings Ann! And I am reading your One Thousand Gifts book. It is changing my day to day perspective as I am on the lookout for those everyday blessings. Thank you for that.

    I also appreciate these printables. It is good to replace lies with the Truth.

    Blessings and love,
    Debbie

  112. Wow. I’m just amazed. Fresh tears. A BIG smile. HAVE to share this. May have to make one of these……..
    THANK YOU
    THANK YOU
    THANK YOU
    THANK YOU
    THANK YOU
    THANK YOU

  113. Dear Ann,
    Thank you for this lovely post and the beautiful example of Lisa’s healing quilt. You are both a blessing to us all.
    My ugly lie is that it’s all my fault, that I cause it all, that every bad thing that happens to me or around me, that every hurt or injustice I feel is because of something I said or did wrong or because I am just not good enough.
    The truth is that I am just not that powerful, and that no matter what I may have done, I am simply not responsible for other peoples actions.

  114. This is amazing, but I had to stop reading for fear of crying again. You see that is all I have been doing this past week. ……Not wanted and loved by my mother, My family wants nothing to do with me, My clinical depression debilitates me, the drink keeps calling me after all these years of being away, no friends, a child with a chronic illness and another does not love me. The pain becomes so unbearable.

    I won’t give up, Christ loves me I know he does and continues to walk with me. I love him so much.

  115. I haven’t read all the comments…the ones I have are beautiful, glistening with tears turned to diamonds as the lies get replaced with the truth…I wanted to say thank you, Lisa, for sharing the “Truth Quilt” blessing! I am already planning to do one for our grand daughter (whom we have custody of) and who lives each day of her life gracefully and joyfully!

  116. A truly beautiful idea…it’s perfect for my little ones. They are what the world calls “foster children” but God has found a home in each of them and He is giving them shelter under His wings and inviting them to be adopted by Him. Was struggling with the words to explain to them should I have the bittersweet opportunity to answer their questions someday – this would be a meaningful way to minister to them once they reach reading age. Thankful for this story and this idea.