About the Author

Mel is the author of the book, How I Forgave My Molester and writes to encourage and inspire women at Trailing After God. Christ can set us ALL FREE!

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  1. In this very moment, right now, you don’t know how much i needed this post. One of us is depressed I’m almost sure its him but its sending my peace over the edge. I used to be happy. I used to be able to work things through but sometimes I wonder if I was an idiot for getting married so soon. Did I ignore the red flags. How, When, will this get better. I’m so much better than this. My doctor thinks I’m depressed I’m starting to believe she may be on to something. If nothing else I’m going to seek counseling so that I can regain my footing. I truly hate this right now.

    • I will be praying for you! Depression is a hard, dark, and lonely road. Seeking counsel is very wise. Between a counselor and your doctor, you should be able to get things figured out! Hugs to you!

  2. I just blogged about my own struggle with depression/anxiety and how I finally asked for help. It is so scary, so overwhelming, so all consuming, but I know God has a purpose for my life, that He wants me to have victory, and that He will free me from this. Thank you so much for this post. I wish more people knew that it’s okay to ask for help before it’s too late. It took me over a year to even admit I needed help…and now I’m so glad I’m getting the help I need.

    • I understand. This is the first time I’ve shared this experience but I do write about it on my blog because we need to bring the truth to light so that others can receive help. Feeling alone can be debilitating. I’m so glad you got the help you needed!

  3. Thank you for sharing. I learned this past year how asking for help is OK. And how once you make that first step the response is one of love and care.
    Thank you for your openness about a topic that is still very much silent.
    I’ve been there, recently and am grateful that there are others who are willing to speak out, to remind that it is OK to seek help, OK to not do it on your own. That God is the source of hope and joy.
    so thank you.

  4. This is so courageous of you to share, Melinda. I’ve been in some dark places in my life in past years too and you’re so right–reaching out makes all the difference.

  5. Thank you for sharing your story Melinda. I think that many of us suffer in silence and pain because we don’t know that it is ok to seek help, or we think that somehow it is “our cross to bear” or the “thorn in our side”.

    I too, struggled with depression. Taking medication was a very big step but I praise God for new beginnings, for new hope, and for joy and laughter in my life again.

    Blessings upon you, sister.

  6. Thank you for speaking out.
    Depression is a lonely dark road.
    Seeking a godly Christian counselor is a necessity.
    As I am working through my own right now (there is a reason my posting has been a bit spotty lately), it is helpful to know others are with me, fighting the same battle.
    I don’t like the person it has molded me into and I am working at breaking out of it.
    Thanks, Mel. I appreciate you sister.

  7. Thank you for this post. I think it probably speaks to a lot of people and definitely to me. Very timely.

  8. Wow. So here I am again to say, ME TOO!! LOL!
    It really isn’t a laughing matter though.
    I struggled through it for years. On medication, I might add. My Dad’s side has a history of it, and I had suffered since my early teens going in and out of it, so in the last trimester of my pregnancy, knowing I would suffer severly after the birth of my son, i asked to be put on an anti depressant.
    To sum things up, for six years (my baby is now 6) I struggled with it. I fell farther and farther down even though I was on medication. I then began to suffer from anxiety attacks and they added xanex to my list of meds. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. I didn’t want to get out of bed, shower, eat. Things that used to interest me no longer did…
    My husband would come home to find me in the bed with a tear stained face for no reason. I went to a counselor, who asked me a ton of questions about my life during our two sessions only to tell me there didn’t seem to be any deep seeded issue I was struggling with, therefore I was wasting her time.
    I began to contemplate suicide last year. I knew (at the time) it was somethinng I would never do, but the fact that I was thinking about it scared me. How long before the thought DID manifest into action?
    My child has experienced a very unstable mother, and my husband a very unstable wife. Drinking was my way of coping. I drank till I didn’t feel. Nearly every day.
    I love the scripture posting….because that’s what happened! I called out to my God, and He heard me!!!! I can’t tell you how thankful I am that He did! Anyone remember the old song: He brought me out of the miry clay, He put my feet on the rock to stay, He put a song in my soul today, a song of praise, hallelujah!!
    I have found happiness in Jesus!
    And I thank God for a husband who tried hard to help me even when he was fed up!! I have asked his and God’s forgiveness. God has covered me! I haven’t taken an anti-depressant for a while now! Thank You, Jesus!!
    Not a day goes by that I don’t think about where He brought me from, and I am overwhelmed with thanks!!!
    Ang

    • Oh Ang, I’m so glad that you were able to get the help you needed, though sad that anyone else has to feel those awful feelings. I’m terribly sorry the counselor said that to you. Praise God, His mercies are new every morning!

  9. Thank you so much for this post. Things in my life feel a lot like what you described yours was like…when hubs was in high school he was diagnosed with depression, but has never followed through with any treatment, and my experience (and reading “Waking up in the middle of nowhere: finding my way in a bipolar marriage”) has me wondering if maybe bipolar is not a more accurate diagnosis. Either way, life is hard…3 kids under 4, piles of bills, my hubs works on the road (and did I mention he’s been cheating on me off and on since before we were even married?), my family is 1000 miles away…a lot of times I just feel lost and alone. Thank God for my church, which is the only thing that keeps me close to sane at the end of the week. I needed this on this day…and God knew…thanks again for sharing!! <3

    • J – you are in my prayers. I’m so sorry for all you are going through. I remember the days of having 3 children that were 3 and under and my fourth was 8 or 9. Those are some challenging days, especially if you are alone most of the time. But it gets better! I’m so sorry for all that you are going through right now. Hugs sister. Hang on to that church family and allow them to help you. Jeremiah 29:11

  10. Thank you for sharing such a dark side of your life. We all have “issues” to deal with and asking for help from HIM is the only thing we can do… and YES IT IS OK TO SEEK HELP!!

  11. There were days where my only hope to make it through was to take my anti-depressant. If I could just take the pill and float through the 8 hours of work that would be an accomplishment all in itself. When I think about it now, I can still feel the overwhelming amount of exhaustion depression brought to my life. The first time around I didn’t stick with my treatment plan- meds and counseling. Just as I started feeling ‘normal’ again I told myself I could maintain this. I let myself think I had obtained enough information and tools to conquer depression from there on out. WRONG. I fell right back into depression and even deeper than the previous episode so I started the ‘routine’ of daily meds and counseling every 2 weeks again. This time however, I gained the best ‘tool’ out there, GOD.
    You see, I have always thought of myself as independent. I had to grow up at a young age and learn some of lifes harshest realities. I had to put my game face on and deal with it head on. I’ve now learned that that independece I prided myself with will only get me so far. I’ve got to DEPEND on God for strength (along with so many other things) to get me through each and every day. That strength I had to realize something was wrong to begin with, that was GOD. The strength I had to take action and conquer this, that was GOD. He has so carefully and beautifully orchestrated this amazing support group for each and every one of us. Your family (blood or otherwise), your friends (church, online, co-workers), and your doctors/counselors.
    These people are in your life for a reason, they are your earthly reminders that our God, is a healing God..

  12. Thank you, thank you for sharing something so personal. I think as women we often feel we are the ones that are suppose to take care of everyone else but sometimes we need help and it is OK to ask for help.

    I too had a history of depression and can relate to your road trip (mine was in my car looking for a tree to crash into). I think being a Christian for some makes it even harder to admit we need help. Some may see us as not having enough faith or maybe even having sin in our lives as to why we are depressed. Depression can have many causes and some times it is just as simple as a chemical imbalance where your brain chemistry is not as it should be and the meds will help with the needed adjustment.

    I believe that crying out to God is a necessary part ot the treatment and recovery process as well as finding the needed support. God is able.

    Be blessed.

    • Crying out to God is so important! Thank you for sharing your struggles. At a recent women’s retreat, almost every woman there was on some kind of medication. We’re struggling in silence and that’s very sad but there is hope!

  13. Thank you for talking about this! I have struggled with depression off and on for the past 16 years. I’ve come to recognize the familiar {comforting?} cloud that hangs over me. Now I ask for prayer, and I take a break, and I fight. It’s not a battle that can be won on our own.

  14. Depression steals life from me. I have been fighting it off these last couple of months waiting for the spring to break through and help me get over it. Still, the rain and gray persist. It can be debilitating…numbing. I am thankful that my depression is mild compared to some, but it is not less daunting to face. I cannot imagine facing it without God.

    • I struggle with the rain and gray too. I do okay through the fall and the holidays and then come the long months of January – April or May – depending on when our spring and sun actually make it through. Heather, are you from the pacific northwest too?

    • Heather,

      I had a doctor explain seasonal depression to me. Sounds very much like what you are fighting. Although this is not the type of depression I suffered from, he told me about Day-Lights. They are specialy designed, bright light, therapy lamps. If you are not aware of such a thing, check it out. May be of some help to you.
      Prayers.
      Angela

  15. I have been there/here in the past. You are brave, so brave, Melinda. Prayers for you and your continued healing. You Rock!

  16. Thanks so much for this. If you ask my friends I would be the last person they thought was depressed…and yet I have been so filled with anxiety and depression for the last six months. I could sleep forever…I avoid people, I go weeks and don’t leave the house..I ache all over, I look forward to nothing and fear everything, Its the scariest place I have ever been in.
    I have no energy . Thanks for this honest post……

    • T, I totally understand. Never leaving the house, wanting to sleep all the time, totally withdrawing from life is what I have done too. Please call your doctor, you will feel so much better once you realize that you’re not alone in this fight. Call a girlfriend and ask her to meet with you or set up a girl’s night out for you and go do something fun with your friends. It’s amazing what some girl time can do for the hurting heart. I will be praying for you. Feel free to email me at melindatoad@gmail.com or message me through my site. Hugs sister! You can get through this!

  17. God bless you, Mel. Thank you for sharing straight from the heart in this way. I’m so glad you’re on this side of that darkness now. Sending hugs to you, my friend ({{{hugs}}}.

  18. it is ok 🙂 and you are ok 🙂
    this post is so powerfull and so courageous. thank you for sharing!!

  19. Boy have I been there! Sometimes depression makes you feel like your going crazy. Some say you need to take it one day at a time… that was too much for me. I remember asking God to get me through each hour of my day. But He is the great physician. He healed my heart and carried me through the storm and now I am so free. Thank you for boldly sharing this real post.

  20. Mel… thank you for always being so willing to share the hard stuff… the real stuff… the things that we can all relate to. You make me want to be more brave! How you glorify Him in your obedience to be open and vulnerable… our testimony is a gift to be used to make Him shine and you do that so well! Thank you for your heart and the encouragement that just oozes from you… you are a blessing to me and to many!

  21. Congratulations for opening up about this! Depression for Christians is that “dirty little secret” so many times. Even good, faithful people still believe that if your faith is real, you won’t struggle.

    Yes we do struggle. ‘Nuff said. Thank you for sharing, and I’m proud of you!

  22. Thank you for having the courage to share your pain with us! I have had these dark roads and so has my husband. Getting help and sharing with others is the best thing I have ever done.

    My husband has been suicidal throughout my marriage and he finally after 12 years of marriage is going to counseling with our Care Pastor. He is talking about quiting and I told him honestly I think he should but it was his decision. There was a time I would have reacted so differently… begging, pleading, yelling… to try and get him to go get help and he never would.

  23. Thank you for sharing your experience, I know that it will help many women who read this. I have been been there and learning that its OK to not be OK is liberating. God bless you for your honesty.

  24. I think it is always OK to ask for health and for help. Divine intervention can bring health and help through others who care, and through accepting. Thanks for sharing this touching experience. It really does feel like that, then it gets better.

  25. Wow, Melanie, this is such a powerful post! I am so thankful you stopped by my blog and directed me here. What a blessing you will be to our on-line study through Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner. Can’t wait to get to know you!!!

    Blessings,

  26. Thank you so much for sharing this. I, too, can unfortunately relate all too well. In fact, I recently started a new blog at my physician’s suggestion that I begin journaling as an outlet. I have PTSD and depression (both due to an injury that resulted in a rare disease) and am having to learn how to live life with a disability.

    I’m trying to learn how to let go and let God. I’m definitely a work in progress.

  27. Bless you for sharing, and I’m so glad you were able to get the help you needed. I shed tears of my heart recognizing and aching with yours, tears of knowing that God is there and tears because this spring I’ve struggled as you did…love your heart sister!

  28. That was beautifully written. I have been there too and my biggest issue was asking for help. I couldn’t break through the turtle shell that I found myself going back into over and over again as isolation was my best friend. But I’ve learned that it’s okay to reach out, it’s okay to ask for help and more importantly it’s okay to ask God for help knowing that He doesn’t judge me or thing poorly of me but He loves me even when i am a mess and deep in the pit of depression. He provides the way out and sets our feet on solid ground as we listen to His voice and obey Him. I am so thankful and blessed to say I am no longer struggling with depression but it was a long hard road to freedom. Thank you for sharing your story.

  29. Such an important topic to cover! I’m sure you have blessed many women by sharing this difficult personal experience. It’s one I know I must share at some time. Just not ready to do so yet.

    Thank you for your courage to share a topic that will set many Christian women free. We’ve been taught for too long that all you need to do is change your thinking. When one’s physiology or physical body is exhausted, it takes more than just positive thinking to pull out of depression. The Lord rescues us and can use the medical profession, counselors, and medication as well.

    May the Lord bless you,
    Janis

  30. Melinda,
    So awesome of you to share your story here. I know it is difficult to do so, but I also know that sharing helps you heal and it also helps other women. I know that when I admitted I needed help, it was so freeing. And for me to write about it helps other women to do the same. Keep writing…
    Bernice

  31. I am so thankful you sought help. And bless you for sharing your story with others. I have battled depression and anxiety for years. Nobody knows the depths of your aching except those of us who have been there, are still struggling and are climbing our way out of the darkness. Sometimes we feel we are all alone. That nobody could understand how our heart is breaking. Or we feel we SHOULD be able to handle this. What is wrong with us? we ask. Only if we talk opening about depression will less women feel so desperate to take matters into their own hands rather than give it up to God.

  32. Thank you for sharing this! I battled asking for help until I was very close to the point you just described. It’s a shame that we feel so much needless guilt over something so completely out of our control!

  33. Its not the “Sadness” or the “blues” that’s dangerous , a little sadness is both normal and healthy….. It’s the moment of realization that NOTHING makes you happy and the fear of that never changing.