We sat in the sunroom off the master bedroom while Joyce encouraged her mother to eat and I read a week’s worth of Marilyn’s emails aloud. Ninety-one year old Nanny frequently closed her eyes and shook her head, sweetly refusing the spoonfuls of soup and sips of water her daughter offered, but Joyce patiently persevered – gently coaxing her mother to eat as I read.
“My lap dogs Lady and Champ are a great comfort,” Marilyn wrote. “They follow me from room to room and give me lots of loving attention.” Joyce and I delighted in the lovely word pictures our dear friend painted of her home and garden and family and dogs – and we longed to be with her.
Our friendship began nearly twenty years ago – when the three of us lived and worshipped and served in the same community and church. Eventually, my family changed churches and Marilyn and her family moved away, but the ties that bound our hearts together in the love of Christ and for each other tightened and our relationships have only become stronger.
“Lately I have been preparing for being bald again.” Marilyn’s email continued. “I love bright colors! So my ‘new style’ will be soft hats with bright scarves. The brighter the better.” Joyce and I grieved over this new battle with an old cancer Marilyn had bravely fought and overcome thirteen years earlier, but we loved hearing about her ‘new style’ and the thought of her beautiful face and smile framed by those bright and colorful scarves.
Hoping to encourage Marilyn in her bright-color attitude, I asked if I could send her One Thousand Gifts. I’d started my own gratitude journal early in December, when chronic illness flared and my world was reduced to the few square feet I could manage at home. I wanted Marilyn to experience the same joy and sweetness I’d tasted – when with a heart overflowing with gratitude (Colossians 2:6-7) I could be thankful for the abundance of all that is beautiful and good and evidence of God’s love and mercy and grace – right where I was in a difficult and painful season.
I didn’t need to send Marilyn the book. She’d read One Thousand Gifts – she just wasn’t at all sure how to begin.
Sudoku is what I do in my free minutes. Marilyn explained, thinking she needed to be more descriptive and use more adjectives if she kept a gratitude journal. You love words. I love numbers and patterns. We all think differently. Help.
I thought for a moment. Let’s do this together. I offered.
A gratitude journal for all three of us to share – to mail back and forth and rejoice together in the ways we see God’s love and presence in each other’s lives and the gratitude we individually express at the abundance of His grace.
We chose a thin, inexpensive 5 X 7-inch journal that fits perfectly in a 6 X 9-inch bubble mailer. The journal is nice, but plain, so we embellished a few pages with crafty flower stickers to make it a little prettier. Knowing that this season of chemotherapy can be hard on Marilyn, we’re tucking a pre-stamped bubble mailer in the envelope when we send the journal to her. When she’s ready to return the journal to us, she can slide it into the pre-stamped mailer and put it in her mailbox.
There are no rules for writing in our circle-of-friends gratitude journal. Our individual lists are a reflection of our unique gifts, personalities, and perspectives. Marilyn is right – we all think differently – but it is because of those differences that we begin to wake up together to the blessings. Marilyn’s love for numbers and patterns inspires me to be grateful for the created order and symmetry, and I pray that my love for words and a poetic perspective help her to see and be grateful for the gift of story. Together we are inspired to live this one life well.
I wonder how many others I know – in my neighborhood or church, right where I live – are like my friend Marilyn and just need help getting started. The elderly or homebound? The lonely or hurting or rejected? Who, if I counted gifts with them, would know that there’s no wrong way to do this.
Because we don’t have to do this alone.
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. ~ Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 ESV (emphasis mine)
My friends and I chose to gather our gratitude together in a paper journal. Ann Voskamp’s virtual journal is another way I’m counting grace gifts in community. Might you join her there? And bring a friend with you?
Leave a Comment
Sandra Howard says
Pat, I just love that you’re over here on (in) courage! I would never have thought of doing a journal with others! I’m up to 260 in mine. I think 261 is going to be “Pat’s heart for God”! I’ve read One Thousand Gifts twice and some parts three times! I have it on my NookColor and have made notes and highlighted all over the place! I didn’t want it to end! Thank you for sharing your story of Joyce and her mother and Marilyn with us. How very, very sweet! And thank you for telling me about Ann and her One Thousand Gifts!
Patricia (Pollywog Creek) says
Sandra, I’m fairly certain that on my own I would not have thought of a collaborative journal, either…but isn’t that just like the Holy Spirit? Isn’t One Thousand Gifts rich?
Kristi says
This is such a beautiful idea! “Who, if I counted gifts with them, would know that there’s no wrong way to do this?” Ann would loooove this comment!!! :))
I just finished reading One Thousand Gifts. I’m a newbie…only on 17…but am dedicating myself to this. Writing down the graces…everyday…..and THIS is my Lenten practice.
Thank you for the wonderful reminder to help lift each other….even it the gratitude for graces!
Be blessed~
Patricia (Pollywog Creek) says
Beautiful Lenten practice, Kristi. May you be blessed, as well!
JenS says
this post brought me to tears, Patricia. I’m so proud of you! Who says your age/stage should prevent you from sharing these beautiful words here? Be confident in Him. I love ya! Jen your JP sis.
Patricia (Pollywog Creek) says
My *only* confidence is in Him, Jen. Love you, too – my JP sis.
tonia says
Patricia,
your tender heart blesses so much. I love this thoughtful, sweet, life-giving post. This is REAL Kingdom work. How you have blessed me this morning!
Patricia (Pollywog Creek) says
Thank you, Tonia. It is much like the letter writing you so beautifully inspire us to – don’t you think? Just a different format.
Debbra says
This is truly sharing the very heart of Jesus! Just as He shared Eucharisteo, we are called to do the same. His example…and yours…remind us to do likewise. To give thanks together and share in His joy. Thank you for this encouragement!
Patricia (Pollywog Creek) says
So true, Debbra. Sharing a gratitude journal for us is like a triple measure of joy!
Lisa Easterling says
There is an odd kind of loneliness that lives in the heart of the writer. In my more real moments I wonder what if I write and write and nobody reads it. I wonder how many are afraid to begin because they see no purpose for it, no tangible goal. Will anyone care? Am I wasting time and energy that would be better spent washing dishes or scrubbing counters? But then as writers, are words not (among other things, of course) our service, our spiritual act of worship? When someone reads and takes a moment to comment on something I write, a little charge goes through me that whispers, “People do care what you have to say, so keep saying it.” Never underestimate the power of encouragement.
Patricia (Pollywog Creek) says
Absolutely, Lisa. Oh, how I want my words – written and spoken – to be encouragement. “…good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. ” Eph. 4.29
Billie says
I love the idea of sharing a gratitude journal with friends. I am keeping a journal of my own, but now I am thinking of friends I could share one with. Thank you for sharing a slice of your life with us.
Patricia (Pollywog Creek) says
You are welcome, Billie. I’m praying for you even now – that the Lord would show you who needs this encouragement – this “dare”.
terry says
i love those words above “never underestimate the power of encouragement” amen to that…..that resonates in my soul…..especially today.
Patricia (Pollywog Creek) says
Me, to, Terry. Me, too.
Jeanne Damoff says
Dear Patricia, what a treasure you are! Sorry to hear about your friend’s battle with cancer. She is blessed to have such devoted, prayerful, Jesus-with-skin-on friends. May the Lord enter into this season of shared gratitude, and may eucharisteo precede a multitude of miracles.
Much love,
Jeanne
Patricia (Pollywog Creek) says
Yes!! Yes!! Yes!! May eucharisteo precede a multitude of miracles indeed! Thank you so much, Jeanne. XOX
All three of us are blessed with “Jesus with skin on friends.”
Jocelyne says
I will pray and ask God whom it is I can share a 1,000 thanksgiving journal or even just the habit of doing so – for mutual support. Perhaps He will send someone who needs it equally as much or more than I do… that I might be motivated. How can it be that this is so difficult…. a lifetime habit of negativity?
I will pray… thank you for this post.
Patricia (Pollywog Creek) says
Praying for you right now, Jocelyne. Aren’t we all so grateful for Ann’s inspiration to break free from “a lifetime habit of negativity” and embrace the joy of thanksgiving?
Lelia says
Thank you Patricia. You are a delightful writer and I am praying for Marilyn for comfort, joy and for her to grow so much more close to our Jesus as he leads her through this cancer. Praying also for Joyce and her selfless love and devotion for her dear mother.
What a deep love you three have for one another. All because of Grace. We all are the more richer because of three ladies and Ann who first taught us “eucharisteo”.
Patricia (Pollywog Creek) says
Yes, all because of grace! Thank you, Lelia – for kind words and espeically for prayers for my friends.
Paola Rarick says
Thank you so very much for sharing this!!! You have just inspired me to initiate a email gratitude journal with my friend!!!
Patricia (Pollywog Creek) says
Wonderful! An email journal is a great idea.
Cheryl Smith says
What a beautiful idea! You’re helping your friend, but the treasure will be shared by each of you. You’ll look back over the pages to see all that God is doing… I just may be inspired…
Patricia (Pollywog Creek) says
Amen, Cheryl. The treasure will most definitely be shared by all of us. It already is. To see how God is blessings…to gain a perspective I wouldn’t have on my own.
Teri Miller says
It’s way past time for me to do this with some accountability. My own little notebook is too easy to set aside, and how swiftly I slip down the slope of self-pity.
Thanks for speaking His heart to me this afternoon.
Teri @ StumblingAroundInTheLight
Patricia (Pollywog Creek) says
I had not considered how this would encourage accountability, but you are so right. It is too easy to slip out of the habit alone. Thank you for that insight, Teri.
Donna says
Thank you for sharing this creative demonstration of covenant friendship. The power of gratitude flows through your words here.
Patricia (Pollywog Creek) says
“Covenant friendship” What a beautiful expression, Donna. Thank you.
Sunday Sunshine 03.13.11 « Minnesota Mom says
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Jennifer says
Just wanted to say that I love this. Love this idea, love the pictures.
Patricia (Pollywog Creek) says
Thank you, Jennifer. God bless!
Ana Saro says
hi Pat..i am blessed by your sharing that you could keep in touch with precious friends esp[ when they have moved…i was on ann voskamps website n spontaneously broke down in sobs a rarity..n i recognized that i missed having my best n trusted friend around…amazing to discover that need n to own up top it me being a strong person…and your post once again warms my heart to this friend who lives thousands of miles away who loves to journal ..n pretty books i think you have solved my challenge i shall use it too..
Patricia (Pollywog Creek) says
How sweet, Ana. May God multiply the blessings in your sharing of gifts with your friend.