There are two vital elements human beings require in order to live fully for God.
Love and grace.
I have long wrestled with knowing how to best love and offer grace to my children. It was only recently that I have begun to understand why this has been such a battle for me.
It’s because I didn’t love myself. It’s because I had trouble receiving grace. And even though I knew the truth and knew I was saved by grace, subconsciously, I still worked for it.
I struggled with loving myself because I hated all the things I couldn’t [or wouldn’t] do. Just like the apostle Paul, who stated in Romans 7:15 –
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.
There were times when I felt like I was the only one with such struggles. That no one in their right mind could possibly share in these same issues. What seemed so simple, I just could not carry out.
I hated that the only thing I was consistent about was being inconsistent.
I hated that I got frustrated so easily–forgetting that my children are sinners, too, and are in need of training.
I hated how often I failed.
This developed into a cycle of self-hate and lack of grace. I stopped receiving the grace that God had extended me for all these short-comings, and as a result, I couldn’t adequately love my children [or my husband], and I struggled with offering grace to them.
You cannot give what you do not have.
But God is changing me. It is a slow process since these lies had been building for some time. But as I eat of His word and read them as they were meant: for me, it is slowly transforming my way of thinking.
I used to think that if I did anything for myself it was selfish. Putting on make up, doing my hair, going out with a girlfriend once in a while. But really, loving myself is vital in order to love others. And receiving God’s grace is imperative in order to be able to extend that grace to others.
Caring for myself, physically, spiritually, and emotionally is key to help me care for others. Without that nourishment, I have nothing to offer anyone else.
So, today I receive Romans 6:14:
For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.
When someone offers you a gift, do you turn them away? Of course not! You receive the gift with great gratitude and joy! Grace is no different. It is a gift, wrapped in the beauty of Christ’s sacrifice. We need only receive it with joy and gratitude. Let’s not complicate something that’s so simple.
Are you holding out on receiving grace?
By Christin Slade, Joyful Mothering
The simplicity in this message is beautiful! Very wonderfully written!
Thank you for sharing the message He laid on your heart!
And that’s what the Gospel is, isn’t it? Simple. 🙂
Ahhh, this post is my kind of soul food. God’s grace is ours simply, even though we sometimes muddle it up by making it difficult. Rejoicing in His grace today AND your gifted words!
Isn’t that just like us flesh & blood? To complicate matters that are uncomplicated. Living in this world, we think there is always a “catch” to a good deal. To anything that is free. Thank goodness God does not work that way!! Bless you Kristen!
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Wow, needed to hear that SOO MUCH!! I hate myself sometimes–no love there…probably why I fell into self-injury (626 days free of that!! Praise God!!) and am flirting with anorexia (trying to conquer that one to…). I felt like I didn’t (don’t) deserve grace and love, and by extension food or a physical-pain-free existence…Learning to love myself and accept grace is so difficult.
Oh sweetie!!! Here is something I am really learning…you have to love yourself FIRST. Know who you are in Him. You are HIS creation and HE does NOT create junk! You are His GREATEST masterpiece. GREATEST. He knew you were worth dying for!!! YOU ARE WORTH IT. Take care of yourself and come and visit me at my blog so we can stay connected and keep encouraging one another!! Bless you!
Thanks. I will visit your blog.
One of the most effective weapons the evil one wields against us is the truth about our identity. God says so much about who we are and that is true, whether we believe it or not. We can’t make it untrue. When we accept His definition, in faith, everything changes! There is a wonderful tool that has blessed me, and that I have used with lots of people in this battle is from Neil Anderson at Freedom in Christ Ministries. It is the “I am” list. It is a list of all the things the Lord says about us. When we claim those and say them OUT LOUD in the mirror, His Truths do battle in the spiritual realm and set us free. It is so powerful to see the change that comes over people when they experience it. Our identity does not depend on anything we have or haven’t done. Our identity depends on what HE SAYS, what He has done! Here is a link to the list of statements that are true about you right now!!! http://www.ficm.org/whoiam.htm
I read that list and each verse every morning. It helps me get through each day. I’m glad you like it too.
It’s odd to me how it’s much easier to give than to receive, but in life in the everyday, but also in spiritual matters. God’s lavishness to his people stuns me…because I KNOW myself, THAT’S what makes his gifts so hard to receive!
But, oh, how thankful I am for them! 🙂
Yes, definiately easier to give. However, I found myself lacking anything of substance when I gave simply because I wasn’t receiving. So, in order to give, I need to receive!
Blessings to you Robin!
Such a good reminder…”You can’t give what you do not have.” I just got licensed as a counselor and our professors would always tell us, “You can only take others as far as you’ve gone yourself.” And the road is always paved with grace. I’m so hard on myself. Thank you for reminding me that I serve One who said His yoke is easy (because grace takes off that weight).
Holley, I’m so hard on myself, too. I was telling my husband the other day that sometimes I feel like Jesus’ yoke is anything but easy,
But the truth is, it is not Jesus’ yoke I carry. It is mine.
BTW, I’ve been enjoying your “letters” series between you and Ann. 🙂
My husband did a sermon one time that said we are not “sinners saved my grace” we are now saints and should live that way. It makes since because If i say I am a failure, i will fail but If i have my eye on the prize that is what i will try to attain. Great post!
“If i say I am a failure, i will fail”. Isn’t this so true, Katie! And we need to trust that God will complete what He began in us…just like He promised that He would.
I’m convinced my scripture verse for the coming year is
“Do not grow weary in doing good.” 2 Thess. 3:13
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I love that God gives us grace so we can give it away! Amazing that the more grace we realize we need, the more we are able to give grace to others.
I’m hard on myself so often, but God is gently whispering you just need my grace. You just need to be more dependent on me.
Yes Angela!! Those who are forgiven much, love much! (Luke 7:47) I believe these intertwine.
We just need to surrender so we can live in freedom. And it really is freeing. And it really is a day to day battle. ((Hugs))
What a be beautiful post! I think when it come to Grace we won’t fully understand until we meet Him how to show and love perfectly, but in the mean time we ought to practice it and keep our focus on the Lord
Thank you Renee and thank you for visiting me here!
I agree, and believe there are many things we just cannot comprehend as flesh. Our minds just cannot contain it. We just need to trust that His words mean what they say. That’s faith! 🙂 Grace is the foundation of our faith and it is something we really need to receive in order to live that full life. Not a life filled with “stuff”, but the abundant life Jesus talks about.
Blessings to you and your family, and Happy New Year!!
I just got on the computer, clicked on the (in)courage site, and whispered to God, I need some encouragement right now. I feel as though I could have written this in some ways — I am often short in the grace department because I never give myself (or allow myself to receive enough) grace.
Your last question made me laugh — about someone giving me a gift. I tend to feel guilty when someone gives me a gift if I feel I have not deserved/earned/reciprocated appropriately. I just wrote my last blog post on this very thing. I have a ways to go, but I am learning.
Jen, I’m headed over to read your blog post!
“I struggled with loving myself because I hated all the things I couldn’t [or wouldn’t] do. Just like the apostle Paul, who stated in Romans 7:15 –
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”
Exactly! I struggle with loving better because the right thing isn’t such an easy thing to do.
Precisely. The right thing is almost never easy to do. And I want to do hard things.
I cannot stop crying lately. so much frustration in life with money and people and yet God continues to show me what He has for me. Peeling away the layers. I love, love, love that you shared this. That you were honest and possibly knowing some may mock you – that is how I feel when I’m raw before people. You have shared my heart – my struggle…and what I’m coming to understand. We can be christians our whole lives but not embrace the truth…and that’s OK! God is bigger – He is there – arms open wide. It’s all to beautiful to understand…and that’s what makes me cry. Thank you.
(((Marilyn))) it is so hard for our spirit’s to comprehend the truth of God’s word when our flesh is screaming otherwise. We need to quiet the flesh by standing on His promises. BELIEVE what He is saying is meant for YOU, because it is. 🙂 Happy New Year and I hope you’ll come by Joyful Mothering to say hi every now and then! 🙂
I don’t think I realized just how much I needed to hear this. And St. Paul’s words about doing what he hates…as twisted as it may seem, they give me hope. This man who became a cornerstone of the church – even HE struggled! And yet he accepted God’s grace and lived a life that spoke of Jesus. What a timely reminder to me to do the same.
Yes, it is quite encouraging to hear that Paul struggled so much. That’s the battle between the flesh and the spirit. Unfortunately it will be ongoing until we meet with Him in heaven. But we need to remember to take heart — Jesus has overcome the world!! With Him in us, we can too! Blessings!
I 100% relate to this Christin. You are NOT alone in what you’ve shared. Sadly, I even qualify as one of those (per your last paragraph) who DOES turn away a gift. I do not receive well. I love to serve others, run from place to place helping in any way I can. But I react physically in anxiety when I’m poised to receive. It is not how it is intended to be! For any of us. Yet I pay a mortgage of excess to the home of self-abasement. And it affects EVERYTHING. Every relationship, every experience meant for good and beauty, every lesson….there are days where I become better at it. Where I take those small steps forward and learn how to be loved and love as Christ modeled. But oh how intricate a process and how narrow the road!
Thank you for your words. They resonate like the most powerful symphony. Bless you for sharing your heart. We find that we beat in similar rhythms.
Oh (((Leigh))). I know I can feel squeemish if someone gives me a gift and I have nothing comparable (or at all) to give in return. Isn’t it just like that with Jesus’ gift of salvation!? He requires so little from us. Faith and love. And even those are given so tattered and torn. It’s our hearts he’s after.
The process is slow…but He says, do not grow weary in doing good…we will reap if we do not lose heart.
Do not lose heart Leigh. Let the God of the universe hold it so it is safe. ((hugs))
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