Satan wants to use the internet to wound my spirit.
I am not always praised or heard or affirmed or invited.
I don’t always have the most brilliant ideas.
I am sometimes invisible.
Satan wanted me to leave The Relevant Conference with reasons to feel insecure and question myself.
I was the one at Relevant who writes about what some might see as unspiritual things like houses and fireplace mantels and housekeeping.
I was the blogger who can’t quit my online life in favor of real life, they are intertwined for purposes beyond what I can comprehend.
I was the one who had to pray someone would talk to me in the hallway so I wouldn’t be left awkwardly standing alone.
I was the blogger who felt I belong in the back of the room but found myself blabbering uncomfortably behind a microphone.
I was the blogger who sat humbly next to amazing women God had called to live out heart-wrenching stories that touch our souls.
I was the one who questioned why I am asked again and again to open my mouth in public.
I was the blogger who tried on every pair of pants I owned unsuccessfully trying to find ones that made her look taller and thinner.
I was the blogger who can’t seem to bridge the gap between hysterically funny conversations and painfully long silences.
I was the one who wanted to pour out grace-filled words in elevators but mumbled awkwardly about chocolate cake instead.
I’m the girl who can feel invisible even in the corner of a spotlight.
Four years ago I gave God the pen of my life and surrendered my will and heart’s desire to His higher purposes. My life changed at that moment.
I’m the girl who needs to remember WHO is in control of the pen. I need to live out my life in obedience for an “audience of One” and pray He uses my steps to touch whoever He chooses. That is His plan.
My story is one He writes for HIS purposes, not for my own. He can use even me, an imperfect, awkward and invisible girl who shares God through beautiful things.
He knows my heart.
He knows my weakness.
He humbles me.
He is shaping me.
He is making me new.
Whether you were with us in flesh or spirit, God spoke through The Relevant Conference to remind us of who we are in Christ. God wants to use our hearts, our unique passion and gifts, our weakness, our messy and broken stories, to help us to GROW into the women He created for abundantly beautiful things.
He makes beautiful things.
He makes beautiful things out of dust.
He makes beautiful things.
He makes beautiful things out of us.
He makes me new. He is making me new.
You make beautiful things out of us.
Click here to watch the music video by Gungor if you can’t see it.
By Melissa Michaels, The Inspired Room
Leave a Comment
Oh, Melissa! You touch so many hearts and lives everyday. I am so humbled to hear that you feel the same way that I do… God works beautiful miracles in lives from the touch of your pen…thank you so much for opening your heart and desire to serve Him through the beautiful gift you have been given…a gift to help all of us to minister to our families by creating loving, lovely, comfortable homes where we can laugh, celebrate, cry, mourn, pray, feel safe, and learn to become inspired to share the Creator of all that is creative! Thank you for using your gifts for His glory. You are a blessing to me and so many others…thank you for sharing your shakiness, your questions, your fears…its amazing to think that someone like you who touches so many lives feels the same way I do some days. You give me so much hope! Thank yo for inspiring me so many times to remember to create a haven that’s us at home.
Blessings to you, friend!
Mary Joy
Mary Joy, thank you for taking the time to encourage me and share YOUR heart back to me. You are a sweet blessing!!
Melissa
Great post! Thank you for writing it because I need thoughts like yours to remind me WHO EXACTLY IS IN THE DRIVER’S SEAT. Because I do tend to forget and struggle unnecessarily. So thank you again. We all are relevant in God’s eyes.
I love all you do! You are as beautiful in person as you come across through the internet. It was a privilege meeting you!
Praying for all you are doing off-line too! You are touching lives… keep clinging to HIM!
Love you,
Traci @ Ordinary Inspiraitons
Likewise, Traci! Thank you so much!! You are a blessing.
You were truly a joy to meet~ and your post above smacks of the authenticity and realness Relevant was all about~
Keep resting in the gifts and beauty God uses through you to reach others. You are wonderfully special and uniquely purposed!
Blessings,
Lindsey
Thank you Lindsey, blessed to have met you!!
Melissa, I too know the feeling of being invisible on the internet. It really doesn’t seem to matter what I write on my blog or tweet, noone answers. I was taking it personally and then realized that I only need His approval in my words…then I felt better. I haven’t read your blog yet, but am on my way there.
hi patty.
i just visited your blog – didn’t know about your blog – i’m glad you posted here so we could find it! love your set up and will be back to check it out further.
bless you this day as you seek to walk closely with the Lord. :o)
jAne
Hi Patty, I’m glad you shared your heart. I know some amazing blogs that are not filled with comments, not filled with praise, or are more quiet than others — it in no way reflects your worth or value. Sending you hugs and encouragement across the internet. You are not invisible to us!!
Patty, I feel the same! It often feels like a popularity contest that I’m losing.
Thanks, Melissa, for the reminder that we only need to do what pleases Him
Never would have guessed 🙂 Thank you for inspiring me with your blog. I search for what I hope for my home and often find it in the beautiful things you share. It sparks my creativity not only for my home, but for my writing and my being.
Bless you sister!
Beautifully written Melissa.
Exactly the message He needed me to read and hear this morning. This struggling girl is grateful. AND, you are indeed a beautiful work.
Melissa, you are such an incredible blessing. God used your words of wisdom and experience to change my heart…and to lift stress. I so enjoyed getting to know you more and I’m looking forward to chatting again soon.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful heart. 🙂
Myra, I am blessed to know you sweet girl!
What a beautiful message for this Sunday morning! I needed to hear the words you typed and am so thankful God placed them on your heart to write. Have a wonderful week!
Melissa! – This post is amazing and so are You!!
xoxo
Dee
I wonder if there was a single person in the room who didn’t feel that way? I know I did, though you explained it much more eloquently than I would.
It was hard for me to make it to Relevant; I experienced hurdle after hurdle. I guess He wanted me to work for it. I’m so glad I did.
I’m so glad that I met you, and I’m so glad that we were both brave enough to listen to Him and go to the conference.
In your brokenness, He is made strong. In your humility, He is Glorified. Thank you for being poured out in service to His Body.
This post was like I was reading my own words. I didn’t go to relevant, but rather went to women of faith that weekend. I must say I felt much the same, praying for God to fill the awkward silences. It seems as if I can write and express my thoughts so well, but try to speak them and I’m stumbling all over myself. Thank you so much for this post.
Melissa: I felt much the same way you did. At times I prayed Lord please make me stop talking! It was awkward a lot. I got to meet you, and you probably didn’t know who I was and I wasnt sure what to say to you. So it wasn’t just you, and I am so thankful we all went! God blessed each of us. 🙂
It was wonderful to meet you and connect…you are such a sweet lady, thank you!
Isn’t it funny how when two less than confident people meet it can be awkward all around!? I am glad God filled us up on courage so we could meet and be blessed…no matter how awkward people felt inside I felt nothing but warm embraces from everyone I met!! 🙂
Melissa,
Thank you for this post of honesty. So many of us put on the mask of confidence, yet feel so inadequate. You are a sweet and beautiful person. I am glad we finally met, and hope we can chat soon. You are an inspiration to so many.
May God Bless all your writing and posting- it is all foe His glory!
Love,
Denise
Lord have mercy, when I read this I thought you were writing about me! I can relate, and I bet many other readers can, too. I was just reading this morning about how God uses our weaknesses to connect us to other people. It is our vulnerability that opens our hearts to others and others’ hearts to us. It takes such courage to admit our insecurities, but it is exactly that admission that takes the power away from our fears and gives it to God, who then uses our weaknesses to serve his good purposes. You are a hero.
Sharing time with you at Relevant was such a treat for me. I was immediately put at ease at my first blog conference when God put one of my favorite bloggers in the elevator with me right after I checked in. After just one weekend I miss sharing meals with you, my friend.
Thank you Tracey, I’m glad we shared meals and elevator rides. Undoubtedly I talked to you about chocolate cake too 🙂 you know, to fill in my awkward silences.
Melissa, I was so surprised to hear you felt this way at Relevant! I related to so many of the feelings you shared in this post. Thank you for pointing us back to truth about who we are and the beauty He brings through all of us. You do that so faithfully in so many ways. I’m wishing I could hug you this morning and say “thank you” in person. I’m saving it up and hoping that’s soon…
Counting on that hug soon, girl! You are always a blessing wherever you go!
Melissa,
I understand completely. For years I was the shy wallflower type. I hated getting up in front of crowds. It took God & a lot of work to overcome that. I’m still a bit shy, but get in front of my church group for special music – I do sign language to music.
God helped me understand that He doesn’t make mistakes or junk. For several years I felt ugly & unworthy. I knew God & my family loved me, but I couldn’t find a suitable mate. No one even seemed interested in dating me. Then through God I met this wonderful Christian man & we’ve been together for 6 years now.
I owe it all to God! 🙂
Thank you for the video. I shared with some friends both on-line only & local folks.
It was beautiful. I wish they would make a CD of some kind.
Hi Beth, I think they do have a cd! Check online!
And yes, I’ve been growing in bravery through the years too. I used to almost pass out when I had to make speeches at school! It sure has taken time to grow confident enough to get up in front of people, God is merciful 🙂
Had I gone to that conference I could’ve dittoed everything you said aside from the public speaking part because no one would ask ME to speak! Not allowing Satan to come in and speak lies into our lives is not the easiest thing to do. Knowing the Truth is what will keep us believing what He says about us.
How the world perceives us and how we see ourselves can be so very different. I would not have thought you to be shy or invisible, Melissa. I am so thankful that GOD knows us, inside and out, and He loves us still. 🙂
You are an inspiration to many. It is still good to write about joy and beauty and even the silly things in life. It would be a drab world if Christians walked around with frowns and super seriousness all the time. I am a constant work in progress, especially in my words!
Keep writing about the passions and talents that God has given you.
Hi Melissa! I, like the rest of the ladies commenting, am so grateful for you. To be honest, I’d read and heard of the phrase, “audience of One” for a long time, but it hadn’t really clicked until I read your post.
It literally hit me like a bus. My writing, my worship and inspiration should come from Jesus, and I should strive to put to words what he’s doing in me and let folks be touched by that.
Blessings on all you do. 🙂
I have wanted to blog , to write, but I have been so full of little confidence! Afraid I will sound dumb to many.
God has been writing a story with my life and I want to share it, but I am afraid of not being good enough with punctuation, and words that are professional enough!
So many women have such beautiful blogs and have college degrees! I am only a housewife and mama! No degree like in journalism or writing.
I read your blog and was touched that you could be so down to earth and touch lives! You are touching my life because of your truthfulness and being you!
Thanks for sharing something that many do not share. To share fear, or feeling unseen is not common for many writers! But is is what hearts need to hear at times. It gives us courage to open up and share something that may be used by God to touch others because as you said, It is not our story , but His.
Thanks again,
To this sweet woman who called herself anonymous…do not be afraid to start a blog! Having a college degree or perfect punctuation or proper sentence structure is not required for blogging. If either of those was necessary (were necessary?) I’d be in blog jail right now.
Go share the story God is writing for you! I can’t wait to read it.
Melissa, I could identify with almost every word in your post. I’ve had that spotlight turn on me a few times with people expecting me to say something profound….all the while I feel like a bumbling idiot! Who am I that I have something worthwhile to offer?
I just have to remember that I am a beloved child of a big God who can use anything…even me! 🙂
Thanks for reminding me.
Melissa that was a wonderful post and I think we all felt much of what you felt. I was so glad we got to spend some time together and bond as PW’s. I look forward to getting to know you better.
Walking in His Grace,
Cyndi
P.S. Let me know if you’re going to go to Blissdom and we’ll have a PW get together:)
Dear Melissa,
Thank you so much for your very encouraging post . Thank you for being so open and sharing so honestly. I can also relate to so many of the things you said and shared. I wasn’t able to get up in front of a classroom and do a book report never mind in front of all the people I can imagine you were in front of. I ‘ve been called apon to give my testimony in church last November and I couldn’t believe that I was able to do it. The only credit I can give for that is THE LORD! Now people have asked me if I am going to give another testimony because they were very blessed! I AM SHAKING IN MY SHOES just typing this!
Your post is very encouraging. Especially talking about what we can do because of Christ and how he wants to use our brokeness to become all he wants us to be. I continue to fight the enemy as he tries so hard to discourage me. Especially since I am allowing the Lord to heal me, which is not an easy journey to go through. But because of women like you, I am very encouraged and I know I need to keep going forward and not stop. To let God do what he needs to do no matter how hard it is!
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, MELISSA!
I’m wishing I could have been at Relevant too!
So glad to know I’m not alone in feeling like I don’t have much to say. Keeping my eyes on the Savior and letting Him speak through me is what I need to focus on. Thanks for being transparent. Much love from your sister in Christ.
Marvelous Melissa, YOU-you renaissance woman of ALL things beautiful-have the privilege of helping us see how to turn our houses into homes. You teach us how to show US in our homes-whatever that US looks like, whatever the US God created inside. This frees us to make the homes we want to make while relishing its beauty. For me, this environment helps me grow leaps and bounds in my relationship with the Lord.
Thank you for this, and thank you for serving us gals at Relevant. Your message was articulate, real, and helpful! Truly! Also, I loved, loved, loved meeting you! You were as warm and genuine as I imagined you would be!
And you ARE thin. Like, totally. 🙂
Oh, I love you even more now. 🙂
I never would have guessed that we had so much in common! All of those feelings and the anxiety of being in a crowd and not knowing anyone. You inspired and encouraged me. We didn’t get to chat, but I know I would have enjoyed it if we had. God bless you!
And I was the blogger who didn’t think anyone really wanted to talk to me so I didn’t introduce myself to many of the women I really wanted to meet, or spend more time with the ones I knew but wanted to know better. Like you. Sigh…so glad the Father doesn’t see us like we see ourselves!
I LOVED meeting you!!!!! 🙂
I am so glad you and I got to meet but YES it would have been wonderful to have spent more time talking. Next year?? 🙂 Next time we won’t be as nervous right!?
I love that song!!!
Hello sweet friend…over the years I have watched God use you, your ministry, your blog in so many absolutely incredible ways. What a gift you are to so many, but more importantly to Him. I wish your part of the world wasn’t so extremely far away from my part of the world (Ft. Lauderdale is w-a-y far away from you) so I could give you a great big ole hug, sit on the porch and drink coffee and celebrate what He has done in both our lives. One day my friend…one day! Until then {{hugs}} to you! xoxo, Mel 🙂
Yes, one day….coffee on a porch sounds PERFECT!
Melissa,
I was not at Relevant (but will be if and when there is a next time!) but I have read so much great stuff! I loved this post because you are being REAL, and that is so much what we need in our lives right now is godly women who are real, not perfect.
Oh, and I love Gungor’s Beautiful Things! They performed it at Catalyst in Atlanta with 13K live singing along, it was heavenly amazing!
Keep allowing God to use your writing!
Bernice
http://bernicewood.wordpress.com/2010/10/28/the-perfectly-imbalanced-life/
melissa, i totally identified w your comments + i’m the blogger who modeled and was too heavy for her clothes…ugh! (i nearly died when i saw the photos.)
anyway, having been in pastoral ministry w my husband for 40+ yrs., i’ve learned that almost everyone feels the same way. they just show it differently. often our failures bring Him glory in ways we don’t expect. that’s why we have to walk by faith and trust Him for the results b/c it so doesn’t fit into our plans to enjoy failing at times. i know i don’t enjoy it. the only thing that makes it worthwhile is the end result. that’s the part i don’t always see or know.
Melissa…..what a beautiful and honest post!
I was following the tweets from Relevant feeling so inspired, but so conflicted. Your line, “I was the one at Relevant who writes about what some might see as unspiritual things like houses and fireplace mantels and housekeeping,” really hit home with me. As someone who blogs about COOKIES….that’s exactly how I felt.
Thanks for your beautiful words…and your beautiful inspiration here and on your blog! ♥
Melissa, you inspire me in every “room” of my heart and life, even if the “spiritual” things are not necessarily written on your blog! I was very impressed with your sweet spirit when we met at Blissdom, and even more so now after Relevant! Your words, your grace, your heart always touch me – rather through the computer screen, or in real life!
Just remember what Ann said – God doesn’t call us to be great writers; He just calls us to come to the keyboard. And you do… faithfully… and He blesses us through you! 🙂
Melissa, your post challenges me to reach out to that other person in the elevator, across the table, or neighbor, even when I might have a million reasons not too….. Lord, help us build each other up.
xo
reese
Your words are exactly what I feel at times… As I read them, I laughed, I winced, I sighed…I can so relate. I try to remind myself why I started this blogging thing in the first place- we can become so lost by our surroundings after a while. Thanks for being painfully transparent.
Melissa?
I had to come back to find this post…
I had read it several times… but who can write through a blur of tears? Each time?
Here, you wrote my heart.
You are an amazing writer and the most wondrous soul and you exude grace and deep beauty and meeting you at Relevant was pure gift.
I give thanks, a thousand times, for you…
I pray we have an again, Melissa….
Love you, Ann…you make ME cry. Thank you.