(Photo credit: Caroline Fontenot)
Marriage itself is a lesson on grace.
My husband and I are two messy and imperfect people trying to love each other as best as we know how. That doesn’t always look pretty. It’s only been half a year since we said our vows but grace has been abundant. It’s hard to love someone completely if there’s too much room in our heart taken up by loving ourselves.
As much as my husband and I love each other and are committed to one another, there are times when we don’t show it well. Like that time when I slammed the door because I just didn’t feel like talking to him anymore. Or that time when he came home from work and went straight upstairs without saying a thing. Or there’s that time that we went an uncountable number of hours without really talking because neither one of us wanted to be the first to apologize.
Real mature, I know. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
In those times when I’ve been selfish and just plain mean because someone is hard to get along with, I am reminded that I, myself, am not always very lovable. Sometimes I catch myself in the mirror thinking, “Now why did you have to go and do that?”
But even when my husband isn’t being the perfect Prince Charming, I am called to love him anyway. I am called to forgive him anyway. And I’m called to give him grace anyway. Daily. Hourly. Minute by minute.
That’s hard, y’all. In those weak moments when I have to muster all I have just to love my husband all over again, I think about how God does it for us every day without even questioning it. At least I get to go in my room and pout it out. God does it before the nasty words and sassy attitude even go into play.
As Jesus was pinned against the splintered wood, He showed the ultimate act of grace. He looked each of us in the eye and saw the hatefulness we would bestow on others. He saw the selfishness that would hinder our hearts for giving. He saw the love we would have for this world more than we would have for Him or His people.
But He loved us anyway. He forgave us anyway. He gave us grace anyway.
I will admit that my husband is better at this than I am. I see the love in his eyes when I am being unlovable. He is quick to forgive and apologizes when he doesn’t even owe me one. And he gives me grace daily when I don’t deserve it. God knew my stubborn heart needed a soft one like my husband’s to shape mine to be more like His.
Once we admit we need God’s grace alone to get through the day, the week and even a marriage, life becomes much sweeter and love is that much more abundant.
“…for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” (Romans 3:23-24, NIV)
by Jordy at Wide Open SpacesLeave a Comment
Great post, Jordy. I’ve been chewing on grace lately – and how I seem to resist it, how I try and make it small, how I still want to “earn” God’s love (because in some ways that feels easier) – even though I know it my head that means I’ve got it all wrong. But you’ve challenged me today – to both experience grace and extend grace in my marriage.
yes，fatastic post，thanks for your effort ，jordy，i’m so happy
Excellent reminder. I know that I need to work on extending grace more than I do. Thank God that he forgives us and is patient with our shortcomings!
It is God’s grace alone that has enabled me to remain committed to my marriage of 28 years. I know for sure I would not still be in this relationship if He had not stepped into my life after my third daughter was born. It is with His strength, His patience, His love that I “keep on keeping on” with a smile on my face and a bounce in my step. His grace truly is sufficient!
Wonderful, Honest, Heart-felt post Jordy! So nice to meet you. Thank you for writing on this close-to-home topic for so many!
Traci @ Ordinary Inspirations (http://www.ordinaryinspirations.blogspot.com)
Gail P Smith says
Loved your post and esp with the “Things that seem so small post”
We celebrated 40 years of marriage in July –my advice–“Write your sorrows in sand and your joys in stone”.
Mary Joy @Seeds of Encouragement Sewn with Grace says
Gail, congratulations on 40 years! What a blessing and a gift to all who know you! Your advise his a chord with me…”write your sorrows in sand and your joys in stone”. Wow! Thank you for that! I needed it!
I don’t know whether to say “OUCH, those were my toes you just stepped on!” or thank you for the reminder that NO ONE but Jesus is perfect, and that just because my husband may not be perfect does not mean he’s not perfectly suited for me. So, I will go with thank you!! (And isn’t it a beautiful thing to have a man in your life that willingly and intentionally will state he is wrong or sorry when the occasion calls for it? Many times during those situations, I think to myself – I should be taking lessons.)
Katie M says
Beautiful post Jordy. Thanks for the reminder to have us all be a little more loving and a little more graceful to our husbands.
Jenn @ Beautiful Calling says
It does take courage to put yourself out there and admit to things like slamming a door. I’d read an article before about how “love anyway” is so much more powerful and true than “love because”.
Thanks for sharing!
Holley Gerth says
Jordy, this reminder is every bit as beautiful as you are. Thanks so much for sharing it with us!
Mary Joy @Seeds of Encouragement Sewn with Grace says
Oh wow! I need to remember this before my tiredness, short string of frustration, and snippy words somehow slip by the filter in my brain (that doesn’t work very well when I am tired) and out of my mouth and hurt the man who brings me so much joy its unbelievable! He treats me with so much grace and patience…sigh…I so need to work on this…we too have been married almost half a year. The best part is when I stop talking, look into his amazing eyes filled with a deeper love than I ever dreamed of…and just love him with all the grace God gives me! Sadly those moments aren’t as frequent as they should be! Note to self…give out more grace! God gives it to me! Thanks again!!!
The Perfect Prince says
[…] Gracefully Married But even when my husband isn't being the perfect Prince Charming, I am called to love him anyway. I am called to forgive him anyway. And I'm called to give him grace anyway. Daily. Hourly. Minute by minute. That's hard, y'all. […]
Charissa Steyn says
Loved this Jordy!! Sometimes I am sooo immature in our marriage- I can’t believe myself. It’s ugly! But God’s sweet grace reminds me that He is changing me and making me more like Him each day, even if I can’t see it or feel it. So thankful for His grace, I don’t think we could stay married without it!!
Ramblings of a Woman says
I am so thankful for God’s grace! I have learned the hard way that I am not perfect, but he doesn’t expect me to be!
Beautiful post, Jordy. I’m going to ponder this for the weekend.
Interesting Links October 2010 Edition says
[…] Gracefully Married @ (In)Courage reminded me of a wonderful article I’d read somewhere about how “I love you anyway” is much more powerful than “I love you because…” […]