When life hands you lemons, especially in the hands of the sweetest baby boy ever made, you make lots of lemon curd.
As I get used to looking through these new Mommy Glasses, things like lemon curd and grocery shopping and even brushing my teeth look very different. I don’t do them. At least not very often. (For those of you in close proximity, sorry about that last one.)
Why? Because my life is no longer about me. It’s about him. Sure, I need to invest in myself and do things that I love. And sure, he’s not always the absolute center of every world he enters. But my priorities have transformed.
I’ll gladly accept half an hour of steady back pain to help him fall asleep.
I’ll eat Ramen noodles (again) to make sure he isn’t rushed through his bath.
I’ll sleep in 45-minute increments to comfort him when he cries at night.
It’s my new normal, and I’m learning to be cool with that. Note I said learning…
Before he came, words like exhaustion, helplessness, inadequacy sounded like the word curd. Not something I was terribly interested in. Negative connotations up one side and down the other. And really, just say the word “curd” out loud. Go ahead. Weird and a little gross, right?
So is inadequacy. Well, maybe not weird but definitely gross. I walk around my house holding my baby and thinking, “I am going to totally screw this kid up.” I feel so inadequate, and the word alone makes my skin crawl.
But feeling inadequate is the truth. I can’t do it on my own. I can’t do it with the best collection of books and advice and recorded episodes of Supernanny. Why is that good? Because it’s about trust. It’s about dependence. It’s about surrendering what I want for my son and trusting my own Father with him.
Whether you’re a mom or not, you’re probably a woman who has at one time (or two hundred and seventy-four times) felt inadequate, felt like you weren’t enough, felt a little bit like a big ol’ lump o’ curd.
But remember, if we go through life stopping at the very word and not experiencing what it stands for, we miss out on a lot of things. Humility, selflessness, and freedom await us when we embrace our inadequacies and rest in the shadow of the Perfect One.
Now for a little lemon curd. For real, it’s straight up awesome. Tart, golden, luscious. It’s kind of like jelly. Only smoother. And made with lemons. And not really like jelly at all. Just put it on scones or biscuits or in a pie crust or just smothered on your face. It’s really really good.
5 egg yolks
1 cup sugar
The juice and zest of four lemons
1 stick of unsalted butter cut into pieces and kept cold
the tiniest pinch of salt
In a metal mixing bowl (or something heat-safe), whisk together the egg yolks and sugar until nice and smooth, about a minute or two. Pour the lemon juice into a measuring cup. You’ll end up with something around 1/3 cup, but add some water to make sure you have that amount. Add that, the zest, and the salt to the egg mixture and whisk until smooth.
Place the bowl on top of a saucepan that contains just an inch or so of simmering water. Whisk until it gets thick and coats the back of a spoon, about eight minutes. The color will haunt your dreams in the best of ways.
Take the bowl off the heat, and stir in the butter one piece at a time. I know. Seems a little extreme, but let the first one melt before adding the second. And third. Best keep the butter happy.
Put the golden awesomeness in a container, and place a layer of plastic wrap right on top of the curd so it doesn’t develop a film on top. Keep it in the fridge for up to two weeks, but I’m pretty sure it won’t last that long.
The Nester says
Kendra! Only you can write a great post and tie it in with a great recipe. What a sweet little fella! Miss seeing you!
Kelly Langner Sauer says
My grandmother made the best lemon curd in the world – with pound cake that used six eggs and a ton of butter…
And I know what it’s like to not have time to brush your teeth and shower and to walk around the house thinking “I’m going to screw this kid up.” And now I have two that I think that about.
Thank you for the encouragement to trust. Often, I’ll choose to withdraw before I try. It is only trust that keeps me open to my children.
Thanks for sharing here. This is a good post.
Southern Gal says
I’ve missed your updates on your blog. So glad to see a little glimpse of your little one on this post. Thanks for the recipe. Lemon is my sister’s favorite flavor. I’ll have to try this for her.
Sounds awesome! Now what do you do with all those egg whites?? 🙂
Kristen@Moms Sharpening Moms says
I love your words on “embracing our inadequacies” and “resting in the shadow on the perfect One.” Profound and freeing!
OK…I am gonna try this lemon curd! Holy smokes, does it sound wonderful! I am a tea drinking girl who loves a good scone, and that would be the perfect addition.
Thank you for this!
from one curd to another… well said! keep trusting friend
Denise Fath says
So true! Supernanny is awesome(!) but not enough.
I think that’s the best part about feeling inadequate or taking on more than we can handle – we KNOW we can’t do it alone, and we don’t try to. Any resistance about turning to God melts away and we allow ourselves to be dependent on Him.
Your son is adorable, btw =)
melissa @ the inspired room says
Cute post and wow, I have to make that lemon curd and smother it on my face! 🙂
Eh I actually see what you are saying. Too bad not everyone looks at it the same way though. I have managed to add your rss feed to my reader.
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