About the Author

Kristen writes at her parenting blog, We Are THAT Family and is author of Rhinestone Jesus: Saying Yes to God When Safe Sparkly Faith is No Longer Enough and founder of The Mercy House. Follow Kristen on twitter as @WeareTHATfamily.

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  1. Love and Respect is a FABULOUS resource on this! Heaven knows I have needed to learn the lessons that you are so transparently sharing with us. I feel that only recently I left the kindergarten class on learning how important respect is to my man. You have inspired me to have a heart-to-heart with him again on this very subject. Thank you.
    Have a beautiful weekend, Kristen.

  2. As the comment above says, thanks for reminding me to be aware of this issue! I participated in the Love and Respect group study (with women only) and it was freeing for all of us to talk about what was working (or not!)–like saying “I want to be respectful” when I’m not doing a great job–what a difference even that made! We bought the book for all our married relatives for Christmas! It is marriage saving!

  3. i have been following your he said/she said posts like a starving gal. and here you are today, reminding me about the principles that are so easy to forget in the daily muddle: about love and respect. the Bible gently reminds, the book Love and Respect has too. and now you…”i hear you Lord! thanks for not letting me go Jesus! amen.” and thanks for speaking Truth kristen. may GOd bless your marriage this Valentine’s weekend–with real and lasting love that makes it through EVERY fire.
    kindly, kelly (your kindred spirit 🙂

  4. Excellent reminder… I think Marilyn, above, has a good point, in that we often get lazy and don’t respect our husbands… but treat strangers with respect. So upside down. One of my favorite authors on marriage is Nancy Wilson, especially her book “The Fruit of Her Hands: Respect and the Christian Woman”. Good stuff.

  5. The church where we attend (and my husband is the worship pastor) is holding a Love and Respect conference this evening and tomorrow morning. We’re going, and I’m so excited! Our marriage is good, but we definitely need this and I think with it, the marriage will move from good to fantastic. Thanks!

  6. I agree! It is hard cycle to get out of but if you can be the bigger person and start the changes are awesome.
    We starting reading these books right before you started this series but the book was great for me. I had so many ah ha moments while reading it.
    I am a work in progress (like us all) but I am happy hubby and I are both making changes to make our marriage stronger and better for both of us.

  7. I just found this website from http://www.thriftydecorchick.blogspot.com/, and this is the first post I’ve read.
    Incredible post! I love my husband so much. I do need to work more on showing him respect, though. I know that my husband really wants–needs–to be shown how much I respect him more than anything. Thank you so much for providing the book information; both books have just been added to my eBook wish list.
    Thank you, and God bless! Oh, yeah, and Happy Valentine’s Day! 🙂

  8. Have the book, AND the Audiobook. Have read it repeatedly, and loaned it out extensively. Just mentioned it to our bookstore too, and they ordered copies. Even though it says things we all know, it is REVOLUTIONARY in HOW they say it so that it makes sense, and then sticks with you.

  9. so true. And a good reminder for me.–mostly I find that in my mind I use the excuse right now that I’m pregnant. I’m uncomfortable. I’m busy. None of those are good.
    I’ve had my huband tell me before that respect is so important to him. And when I keep that in mind our relationship is a million times better then I could ever imagine.
    thanks for the reminder.

  10. thanks for the reminder. I know it’s huge in my marriage…and learned through mistakes. a big one for me is tone of voice–which he interprets differently than I intend…so certain tones need to be avoided. word choices too.
    I love and respect my hubby–it’s the showing him part that is hardest. But, one can learn! Ad this spring is 20 years of marriage!

  11. Seriously, Kristin, sometimes I feel like your twin. (In marriage stuff anyway. You’re way cuter than I am.;))
    My husband and I JUST started reading Love & Respect even though we’ve known this truth about men needing respect for a long time. I’ve also been reading His Brain Her Brain, another one our church recommends and it IS definitely enlightening.
    Thanks again to you and your husband for your openness and ministry lately. It’s been an encouragement to me.

  12. I just read this in my email and the tears are running down my face. I so needed to read this today. I have not been a respectful wife even though I love my husband so much. So many mistakes made with my sharp tongue.
    Thank you for being a Christ-bearer to me today. Such wise words…Now to put them into action. Blessings and Grace to you.

  13. My husband and I attended Dr. Eggerichs marriage conference one year ago and we still talk about what a difference it made in our marriage. We still use the terms “pink” and “blue” when talking things out! 😀

  14. I’m literally on my way out the door to go to this very seminar 🙂
    I’m looking forward to it….
    even though I’ve been married 30+ years, there’s always room for encouragement to be the best wife I can be!

  15. Great post, Kristen. I am not always respectful in my tone, but I expect him to be of me. Hmmm… Need to change that, pronto. Thanks for the reminder.

  16. Beautiful, true words. After 43 years of marriage I can absolutely agree. I wish someone had written something like this for me when I was a young bride.

  17. Wow, your post really hit home for me today. Our lives have recently turned upside down due to a job change, a new baby, and shifting “roles”. I realize I am not as respectful of him as I should be, and this brought to the forefront of my mind how *I* need to be the one to change.
    Thank you.

  18. Kristen,
    Great post on applying Ephesians 5:33. I have done the bible study relating to the book “For Women Only” by Shaunti Feldhahn. It was eye-opening for many women including me, although I knew that respect was absolutely what your man needed most from you. I have written a Christian women’s book titled “MISSION POSSIBLE”. It addresses the struggle in a marriage when you love the Lord Jesus, but your spouse doesn’t share your passion. In my case, I became “unequally yoked” after my marriage. I invite you to visit my website and see what my book and ministry is all about. (in)courage might want to feature my book since it was written to bring hope & encouragement to women everywhere. I also have a Blog on which I post similar material. God bless…
    http://www.Godmissionpossible.com