At the end of October, just as the maple in our front yard was beginning to blush the deepest crimson, my husband and I boarded a transatlantic flight to England. We were bound for Cambridge – to celebrate our daughter Lydia’s graduation from a master’s program and to step into a world that felt ancient, slow, and enchanted.
It was only a handful of days – a short trip, but a magical one. We wandered down cobblestone streets, sipped perfectly steeped tea, and found poetry stitched into the landscape, the courtyards, the gentle river. In Cambridge, tradition isn’t something preserved behind glass. It breathes. It lingers in arches and candlelit cathedrals, in worn stone steps, and in the delightful (unofficial) rule that bicycles shall always outnumber cars.
For all the beauty we encountered, there is one morning I won’t forget – graduation morning.

In honor of a centuries-old tradition, a long procession of graduates — draped in black gowns and satin hoods marking their degrees — filed out of Magdalene College. Magdalene is one of Cambridge’s 31 colleges, and a place where C.S. Lewis once taught. I confess, I feel a particular fondness for Magdalene, knowing Lydia had walked the same courtyards and hallways as a man who unknowingly grew my own understanding of God as a younger woman.
The procession stepped onto the street and crossed the arched bridge over the River Cam, where slow, punting boats drifted beneath us with passengers wrapped in blankets against the crisp October air. Then they moved on toward Senate House, where the ceremony unfolded almost entirely in Latin – regal and reverent in every way.

Throughout the morning, a lump rose in my throat — joy and ache braided together. It was as if my heart climbed up into my voice box. There goes my girl, my dreamer, walking ancient ground toward the next chapter of her life.
But what surprised me wasn’t the emotion I felt that day. What mother wouldn’t feel that? It was what happened after we returned home.
Instead of settling back into normal life, something in me ached – beautifully and painfully. A strange longing had imprinted itself on my heart, as if some shimmering thread of beauty had pulled me toward God while leaving me wanting more.
And I recognized it.
Maybe I recognized it so quickly because Lydia’s dissertation explored this very thing – specifically how music can awaken this kind of longing, a longing we can’t name. We’d talked about it through emails, texts, and FaceTime calls, her words full of academic precision and spiritual curiosity. But now I wasn’t just hearing about it.
I was feeling it!
Sehnsucht.
It’s a German word that conveys a nostalgic, wistful yearning – often for something idealized or never fully possessed.
C.S. Lewis adopted Sehnsucht to name a very specific spiritual experience – a longing that earthly things awaken but cannot satisfy. A homesickness for a place we’ve never been but somehow remember. The bittersweet ache of joy that points beyond this world.
Lewis believed, and I find myself agreeing, that this ache is evidence that our souls are wired for eternity.
Cambridge reawakened Sehnsucht in me, with its history, beauty, river, and tolling bells. And maybe most of all, the sight of my grown girl crossing a bridge into her future – a bridge paved with cobblestone and the glorious ache of longing.
The moments in Cambridge felt holy, but also fleeting. I wanted to hold it, yet I could not. The ache seemed to say: there is more than this.
And isn’t that how Sehnsucht works?
An unrepeatable sunrise too lovely to be accidental.
A song that lifts something in us that we can’t explain.
The edge of the ocean.
That moment around a Thanksgiving table, with the ones you love most smiling, laughing, twinkling with the light of faith.
That is Sehnsucht. Have you felt it?
Scripture says it too:
“He has planted eternity in the human heart.” Ecclesiastes 3:11 NLT
“They were longing for a better country – a heavenly one.” Hebrews 11:16 NIV
“Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.” 1 Corinthians 13:12 NLT
Right now, we only catch reflections – glimmers of glory, whispers of beauty, otherworldly moments. And yet, here they are! Right before us! We are offered hints of Home in crimson-dressed trees and punting boats and sunrises and music and forests – and in the eyes of those we love.
This longing isn’t an accident. It’s a compass toward Home. It’s a reminder that the yearning we feel – the homesickness in our hearts – will resolve itself one day, in the presence of God.
Have you ever experienced that bittersweet longing — the kind that feels like joy and homesickness at the same time? What moment awakened it in you? I’d love to hear your story in the comments.
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Absolutely beautiful piece, Jennifer. Thank you for putting words to something I have felt but could never quite express: when I’ve seen my sons radiate happiness or when I run in nature and see a stunning sunset! Thank you.
Gillian, thank you for this. It means so much that the words helped you to name something you’ve felt too. Those glimpses of beauty really do awaken something deep in us, don’t they? I’m so grateful you took the time to read and share this with me today.
Yes! I know the longing-love that there is a word for it!
Sunsets & Sunrises always evoke it. Cardinals & butterflies at just the right moment.
My oldest son passed away almost 7 years ago at 23yo & my dad not quite 2 years ago. When you have ‘deposits’ in Heaven it makes you long for the day to see Jesus face to face & to be reunited.
I truly feel: ‘ a home sickness for a place we’ve never been but somehow remember’ ❤️
Catherine, thank you so much for sharing this with me. Your words hold such beauty and such ache together — a kind of Sehnsucht. I’m deeply sorry for the losses of your precious son and your dad, and I can only imagine how those “deposits in Heaven” make that homesick longing even stronger and more sacred. The way you described sunsets, sunrises, cardinals, and butterflies felt like Sehnsucht whispers pointing you toward the day when you’ll see Jesus face to face and be reunited with the ones you love.
Thank you Jennifer! I went to bed last night feeling sad that the Cambridge Dictionary has chosen the word Parasocial as the word of the year. It’s meaning is given as “the involving or relating to a connection someone feels between themselves & a famous person they do not know, character in a book, film, TV series etc, etc or an artificial intelligence.” It’s very much a 1-way relationship. I beg to offer it as the opposite of Schnsucht. A new word you’ve given me this morning with so much more hope & joy! That longing for connection of so much more than feeling like we are known by ‘Alexis’ or Taylor Swift. Praise God He invites us to know Him in an intimate eternal relationship! Blessings (((0)))
Hi Ruth!
Thank you for this rich reflection, Wow! What a contrast between parasocial and sehnsucht. (And from the Cambridge Dictionary! Perfect!) …. Thank you for reading and for adding such depth to the conversation today.
So beautifully written and a wonderful eye-opening A-Ha moment!! After a painful, shattering experience in my life, I traveled alone to Spearfish Canyon, South Dakota. I was brought to tears by the beauty as I drove through that Canyon. I spent a week soaking in nature and it began my healing process. I go back there regularly and I wasn’t able to really put into words how I feel when I’m there…..until now!! Thank YOU!
Debi, thank you for sharing this. What a powerful story of how God met you in the beauty of Spearfish Canyon. I love that place so much! I can imagine how those tears, surrounded by God’s grandeur in creation, became part of your healing after such a painful season. It means so much to know these words helped give language to what you’ve felt there again and again. I’m grateful you shared this piece of your journey with me. Truly grateful.
Dear Jennifer…….Your story was so beautiful. a little sad, but also I learned something that I didn’t know. Your daughter Lydia is beautiful and I love England. Thanks you so much for giving us those lovely pictures. I had a similar experience which I didn’t really know what it was. My son went to college in New Jersey and the day my husband and I were getting ready to go to his graduation, I should have been really happy and I was, but there was something else that I felt too. I didn’t understand why there was some sadness in my heart. You have after all these years (he graduated in 1992) completely explained what I know why I was feeling this way. As he went up to get his diploma. I was thinking, all of a sudden, that he would be looking for a job and leaving our home. I was so used to him being there. It was Sehnsucht, joy and homesickness at the same time. At that time he was a wonderful son, but that is a story for another day. He did get a job and moved away, but I had resolved in my mind that it was just time for him to start the next chapter in his life. Thank you so much Jennifer for explaining after all these years that feeling like that has a name. I wish you and your family a Blessed Thanksgiving day with joy and fun with people that you love. I really did love your story and you for telling us……………Betsy Basile
Betsy,
Thank you so much for this beautiful comment. Your words touched me deeply. I love the way you described that moment at your son’s graduation, holding joy and sadness together as you realized he was stepping into a new chapter. That is Sehnsucht! It means so much to me to know that this story helped you pinpoint what you felt all those years ago. Thank you for your kindness about Lydia and about the photos, and for sharing such a meaningful memory with me. Wishing you and your family a Thanksgiving filled with warmth, joy, … and the people you love most.
Jennifer I don’t have kids. Not brave enough to have them. I am the eldest in my Family none of them saved. I have two sisters. One has six kids and other four. The one with six kids has one at College two at university one at university across the water from Enniskillen in Northern Ireland were we all live in Liverpool the other in Belfast and the one at College in Belfast and one that was at university years ago her eldest now 25 living with his girlfriend. My other sister with the four kids my youngest sister has her eldest at university in Belfast. I have heard them both say the house quite as they are away from home. My other sister who has six kids only has two at home now. My youngest sister has her second eldest leaving next year to go Uni. They have both said these houses getting empty and quite. That they miss them that are not at home. The noise has quietened down and not as noisy as it was at one time. They both said at one time they were babies the toddlers etc and the years have flew by so quickly. Now they all one day will not be at home. They will after collage or uni getting jobs deer know we’re they will live if back home in Enniskillen or Belfast or across the water they both said. Then we will look round and the house will be empty. Just us and our Husband’s at home. It will be said and they said they will feel it like being homes sick. But you can’t not let them go collage or uni and then get the jobs they want and live were they want. All you want my two sisters said if for them to be happy and keep safe have enough to pay their bills. Plus good friend that will be there for them. But we both feel said as our houses getting smaller and less noise. No row from time to time among them and me as parent they both say telling them not to fight with either be friends and so love to them. One of my sister’s said to me the house far to quiet as the two youngest my sister with six that she has left at home. Two quiet lovely boys. My sister with the six said I wish they were home again and filling the house with noise again. So they came home the ones at College and Uni when of for holidays. My sister was so glad to have them home again and the noise back. A day or two to them being at home two of them started fighting as kids do. My sisters said stop fighting your not that long home your fighting again. Then she said go back to Uni. After saying that she you know Mummy doesn’t mean that Mummy loves you both. In fact Mummy loves you all. But please stop fighting. One minute she was wishing them home and the house noisy. Then tell them to stop fighting again. With in half hour they were friends again. I said to my sister that the joy of having kids. She has to agree with me. Then when they went back to Collage or Uni they were pinging wishing there kids were at home again making the noises and fighting with either. I laughed. They both said it has made them see what beautiful adults they are becoming. Like you with your Daughter Jennifer. One minute she a baby in your arms the next as toddler and next she away from home like she has her at Uni. You say to yourself were did the years go to like my sister’s. You miss them and wish they were ast home again. You got to let them go and pray to Jesus to keep them safe and hand them in his safe keeping and have friends that will be there for them no matter we’re they go in life. Let them know like my sister’s that no matter what you as parent are only a phone call away. If they get home sick and it doesn’t work out no matter what to they do. They can come home and you will still be there for them. My sisters both said to me. No matter we’re out kids go you never as parent stop worrying about them. That is so so true I said to them. You will Jennifer say the same. I pray for my Nephews and Nieces. I ask God to keep them safe and they will have friends that will be there for them. That they will along with their parents find Jesus to be their saviour. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little Enniskillen Co.Fermanagh N.Ireland xx
This is lovely.
So kind, Irene. Thanks for reading along today.
That’s just beautiful! And that angel face daughter ❣️ she’s so refreshing to look at but she’s her mother’s daughter;)) I have been reading your posts for many years now Jennifer and my heart is always full when I finish. Today’s no different. I have had a harrowing week. No words left but praises to our Lord Jesus being always there.. loved being “home” here at In courage this morning ❤️ blessings to y’all today ❤️
Such beautiful words. I understand this totally. I had it when I held my great grandson for the first time. This longing so filled with love that you know in your heart there is something even better just out of your reach. Your heart just yearns for it.
Oh, Jen. Your words here stir that soft ache inside me once again. Your tender love for your girl and your heart for beauty is a stunningly beautiful thing, do you know that? I will be forever grateful that our paths have crossed in this world—that our good God brought us together.
There is a hill close to where I grew up. I don’t remember seeing it until I was grown and had moved to another state. One day, when I was visiting my mother, I saw it. I felt home in my heart like never before. Every time I see it, I feel like it is home, and at the same time, I know it is not my “real home.”
Beautiful article! I think it’s so interesting how we can have both joy and sadness together and how in each of those moments we can know that there is goodness to be found in all of it. I feel like knowing this helps to better appreciate the simple moments and the extraordinary moments and how they can be interwoven to turn beautiful.