Sometimes, you just need people to show up — especially when you’re scared, especially when you’re tired, especially when you need a little Christmas.
I’ll never forget November 2018. It was my second battle with cancer, my second time undergoing chemo. This time, perhaps because my body was already worn down from a round of Hodgkin’s lymphoma, the chemo for breast cancer took an extra toll.
I had a fainting spell at a restaurant, passed out cold and wound up in the hospital for a week. It was November in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and if you know anything about Pittsburgh, you know it can be cold and cloudy. My room had a beautiful view of a nearby college, but it was overcast every single day.
Doctors tried to figure out what caused my spell. Did I need to change chemo? Was I just dehydrated? Was something going on in my brain? Nobody really had answers. But I was blessed: time passed, people visited, and I finally received the all-clear to go home.
I remember the car ride home. My son was still at school, and I asked my husband to take me through the Chick-fil-A drive-thru. I wanted a peppermint shake, because the holidays were upon us and we were getting close to Thanksgiving.
At home, I got settled in. The next day was a Saturday and my husband had to work. So, it was just me and my son. All I could think that morning was how much I needed a little Christmas. I needed the house to be decorated. I needed simple reminders everywhere of the holiday season and everything it brings. And I needed people.
So, I did something I usually don’t do. I let the fear of rejection pass, and I sent texts and emails to my people — my small group, friends from church, folks I knew in town, and coworkers. All I said was:
“I just need a little Christmas.”
One by one, they responded. On a busy November weekend, when these friends probably needed to decorate their own homes, they showed up at mine with tons of food and extra hands to decorate. My house ended up being decorated super early that year, though my friends’ homes were probably decorated later than normal.
I will forever take away two big lessons from that day:
- When you need people, don’t be afraid to ask. Ask God, and ask your community. He invites us to lean on one another and carry each other’s burdens. “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” Galatians 6:2 (NIV). This is why community matters.
- Some of the women who came didn’t even know each other until that day — and some may not have talked since. But they brightened my world: the food, the conversation, even fixing lights that had been broken on a strand for years.
All little memories I’ll hold from a time when I was scared, exhausted, needing friends, and needing a little Christmas.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Friends, take a moment to take inventory of your heart. Reflect upon these questions then share your thought in the comments below:
- Where do you need someone to “show up” this week?
- What stops you from asking for help (fear, pride, past hurt)?
- Who could you show up for today or this week?
- Which verse above do you need to memorize for this season?
Amen, Suzanne! I can testify to the power of asking for help when I needed it. In a nutshell I had several months this year in which I could not be left alone & my husband had to go to work. Our church set up a wife-sitting schedule so people could sign up to stay with me. The response was overwhelming. I had people come I’d never heard of well enough had met. I was told repeatedly what a blessing it was to be able to come sit with me. Not because I ‘m so wonderful but because they were serving God in serving my husband & I. Our pastors were astonished & blessed seeing their flock find joy in serving. I have some new friends & we all have stories to tell of how God used an ask for help to deepen our faith individually & collectively. And even in the blank spots on my wife-sitting schedule I was never alone. God provided in His perfect timing & ways. I’d summarize your encouragement by saying Be a blessing by allowing others to be a blessing. Don’t rob others of the gift of service. Blessings (((0)))
Amen! What a beautiful example of God’s community working as He intended.
My husband and I have also been blessed by our church family showing up to help with chores we were unable to do ourselves, just as we have been blessed by showing up for others when we were able.
It is absolutely ok to ask for a little or a lot of help. I think we forget it can be a gift to people to feel they are needed and can contribute. I love that verse from Ecclesiastes. Service to others I s such a vital part of being followers of Christ.
Dear Suzanne…A great story you shared with us. I really enjoyed it, but sometimes this doesn’t work and for a real reason. I am 78 years old and live in a Senior Living Facility with 100 residents, but it has changed 3 times the managements did not have any experience in running a place like this. It is supposed to be Independent Living, but we found out that 92% of the people here should not be here as they have difficult problems that require more care and there is no care here. You could never ask them for “A Little Christmas” Most of them would not even know what you are talking about. There is so much dementia and either deaf or almost all hearing loss and they don’t have the money to buy the hearing aids. It is very sad and stressful here and the food is not what we need to help our overall health and make many of us sick. I have been able to make good friends with about 10 people, but I help them. They cannot help me due to serious health issues. My friends have forgotten about me because of the terrible burdens that I have been dealing with for 5 years now. The only “family” I have left have abandoned me as well. My now ex-husband of 54 years has a very tricky form of dementia and tried to kill me. I was forced to get him out of the house and start thinking of my safety. He would not follow doctor’s orders and denies that he even has it. So he lives in a different facility than I do. I tried all I could to help him, and our 1 son at 54 years old refused to believe me and called me a liar and dismissed me as his mother and he and his wife told me I would never be able to see or speak to my 1 grandchild again. He was 11 at the time and now he is 15. Not one word. They have told him lies to try and alienate him from me. This is heartbreaking to me and we had always had a very close relationship from the day he was born until the last time I saw him on Christmas when he was 11. There is so much more to this story but it is way too long. I would not be afraid to ask people to ask people for help, but there is no one. All of my other relatives have passed on and are in Heaven. I really am glad that they are not here to see all of this, but then I could find someone to at least talk to. I have prayed so much and I still have hope that Jesus is working behind the scenes and something good will happen when it is time. The wait sometimes just seems endless, but then I just talk to my minister and she helps me so much. Thank you Suzanne for your wonderful words. I have to say that everyone I have talked to and asked if when they were 35 or 40, did they ever thought about what it would be when they got older. They all said “No” as did I. I send you my love and wish you a blessed week as now we are approaching Thanksgiving, another sad holiday for me………………..Betsy Basile
A combination of the three often stops me from asking for help (fear, pride, past hurt). It is something that as believers, we must be able to accept help from others and extend grace to ourselves.
What a beautiful reminder! Thank you for sharing this! Hugs and prayers ❤️
Thank you for your story, it really means a lot that they came and made your Christmas special.
Hope you are doing better. I lived in Pittsburgh all my life and know exactly what you meant by that weather. Praying for you.
Suzanne, Thank you so much for sharing your story, I admire your courage and gratitude. It is truly inspiring to see belivers come together as one with love.
This article really made me think about how I don’t ask people to help me, but I’m always there for them. Something my therapist has been working with me on. My husband and I are victims of the Altadena fire, we have extensive smoke damage and we won’t be in our home for Christmas. It’s a painful thought because Christmas is my favorite holiday and all my ornaments to bring me joy will not be taken out of the box this year. They probably will be discarded to the trash dump. Thank you for reminding me. It’s OK to ask others to help you, they may not know the sadness that I’m experiencing
I think one of the things standing in my way in regards to asking for help is that I feel like I already have to ask for help a lot in my day to day life, so it’s hard to have to keep asking and needing help when you feel like you are always needing the help in some way, shape or form.